How Troublesome
by Rumer Hasit
Summary: Shikamaru's life was going fine; he avoided going on missions and Ino, smoked a lot, and watched clouds. Now, he's discovered Naruto's biggest secret, is being forced to go on a mission, and life has gotten a whole lot more complicated. How troublesome...
1. A Troublesome Surprise

**!*!*! PAY ATTENTION... BESTEED AANDACHT... ATTENTION DE SALAIRE... LOHNAUFMERKSAMKEIT... ATENCION DE LA PAGA !*!*!**

Hey, I'm Rumer, and this is my first fanfiction, inspired by Naruto's Sexy no Jutsu. I mean, most of you have probably seen it. That jutsu is a work of perverted art and deserves to have at least one story dedicated to it. This story will have minor Sakura bashing, one, because she's not cute, and, two, because she's pretty useless, but I will keep it to a minimum. Sasuke will just be his usual emo self, and Kakashi will have his nose stuck in his Icha-Icha. This is going to have a few pairings in it. Since this is my first Fanfiction, I would appreciate it if you who read it reviewed and told me how I was doing. So, would you? If so, thanks, and if not, whatever, just read it. And now to get down to business...

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto in any way, shape, or form, because, If I did, I wouldn't be writing about it, I'd be filthy rich with practically a cult following. Enjoy.

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Shikamaru sighed and looked up at the clouds floating overhead in the forget-me-not blue sky. He would have infinitely preferred to be lying down on the grassy hill behind the training grounds than what he was assigned to do. He sighed again, spit out his cigarette, and ground it under foot.

"Troublesome…" he muttered.

He had been sent to collect Konoha's number one most surprising knuckle-headed ninja, the one and, thankfully, only Naruto Uzumaki. Lady Tsunade had ordered him to…fetch Naruto because she needed him immediately. She hadn't told him why she needed Naruto, just to get him, and when he had complained, she had threatened to beat him until he couldn't stand and then force him to volunteer at the ninja academy. He shuddered. Now that sounded troublesome.

He started off again in the direction of Naruto's house. When I get there, he thought, I am going to make him sorry. He was supposed to come in two hours ago. He would have taken out his annoyance on Lady Tsunade, but, well, she was the hokage, and the big breasted woman was extremely scary when she wanted to be.

Shikamaru slouched onwards.

The houses slowly stopped appearing and neatly manicured lawns and neat buildings faded into shabby apartments and untamed plants. Then the buildings disappeared all together and the plants grew wilder and bigger. And then, he was at the edge of the forest, but not just any forest, the Forest of Death. Why had Naruto decided to build a house in the forest of death again? So that no one would interrupt his training. He jerked out of his thoughts when his foot struck a rock and looked upwards.

There it was. Naruto's… tower? That was the closest thing to call it he could think of. Constructed out of wooden planks in a tall cylindrical structure with a glass roof and a multitude of windows, a front garden, and a sheltered pathway leading off the main structure to another, smaller one. The wooden slats of the tower were stained bright, eye-smarting, neon orange.

Squinting his eyes at the painfully bright color, Shikamaru ambled up the path, only to hit something hard two feet from the door. Holding his now sore nose, he felt with his hands out in front of him, and then performed a series of hand seals. When he was done, he whistled. The house was encased in a protective shield of chakra; he couldn't get in.

"Really, Naruto?" he asked, exasperated.

He was seriously tempted to just blow off this entire errand and go smoke and watch clouds, but, once again, the looming threat of Tsunade existed. So, with the renewed vigor of someone who is incredibly lazy and is trying to save himself from future pain and work, he quickly did more hand seals, forcing out a pulse of chakra into the surroundings, a trick Naruto had taught him himself. Then, his eyes flashed open. There was an opening in the tower, and it was right in front of him. A small door had been removed from the chakra shield and the actual front door. It looked like a dog door, but bigger, and, suddenly, Shikamaru was grateful for all of the flexibility training that Ino had forced him to do. It had been troublesome, but he had figured that it was better than having her nag him. At this point, he might be the most flexible guy in Konoha.

Groaning, he got down on his hands and knees and inched forward, tucking his shoulders in and wriggling forward. One minute and seventeen seconds later, he was inside. There were hammers and nails, like a flap was going to be added over the gaping hole, but he hadn't gotten around to it.

"Naruto, you idiot." What was the point of putting up a chakra shield if you left an opening for people to come in? He looked around the room. White walls, orange accents, and black and orange furniture. No one but Naruto could have designed it.

"Naruto!" Shikamaru yelled.

There was no response. He slouched further into the room. It looked like it split off into two directions. He gazed lazily at the floor. One of the paths had more scuffs and wear on the wooden floor, signaling that it had been treaded on more times before. It was his best bet.

With a shrug, he rounded the corner. And ran smack into something warm, wet, and soft. With a grunt, he fell backwards and landed hard on the floor, ninja skills not coming in handy, and his head hit the floor. Whatever had run into him let out a squeal and fell on top of him.

"Oww…" he groaned, blinking furiously. What had happened? He could guess. Naruto must have fallen on top of him, the idiot. He opened his eyes to glare at the boy, and then froze.

The image he was seeing was definitely not right. Long sunny-golden blonde hair draped over her shoulders, water gleamed on smooth tanned skin, quite a lot of it, plump pink lips were parted in an exclamation, and impossibly, brilliantly, sky blue eyes were widened – in horror? And fear? There were also three fine whisker-like scar marks adorning either cheek. His eyes drifted lower, and his brain stopped functioning momentarily. Her bright orange towel was had begun to slip, revealing the top of quite large, and perky, assets.

The girl pushed herself off of him, sputtering, and his brain managed to reboot itself. Only something completely mind-boggling could have stopped a Naras' train of thought, their intellectual processing, what they were known for, but this did. He stared at the girl. Who was she? As far as he knew, Naruto didn't have a girlfriend, or any relatives that would fit her description at all. There was also the fact that the girl looked like Naruto, too much like Naruto to be a coincidence, even with the same scars.

There were only three options that came to mind. One, this was someone in a henge, either Naruto or someone else. It might have been Naruto, playing a prank on him. Possible. Two, he was stuck in a particularly odd and high level genjutsu. Also possible, and, if fact, the most probable. Or choice three, what he saw in front of him was real. That was the least probable choice.

Option two was easy to check. He brought his hands together and said forcefully, "Kai!" Nothing happened. He tried it again with the same lack of result.

Now the girl, although still afraid looking, had confusion written on her features. "Shikamaru? Are you okay?" she asked.

Okay, she knew his name, and option two was officially not applicable. The long, slim, shapely, tan legs that were exposed from lack of towel covering them were making it hard to concentrate, but he tried.

"Naruto?" he asked.

The girl forced a nervous smile onto her face, "Yeah?"

"What's your favorite food, name you call the hokage, the names of your first teammates, and my favorite thing to do?"

The girl claiming to be Naruto blinked, and then answered swiftly, "Ramen, Baa-chan, Sasuke-teme and Sakura, and watching clouds, respectively."

Shikamaru swore under his breath. That ruled out it being another person, not that he thought that was likely in the first place. Only two choices were left. It was either Naruto in a henge, or just plain Naruto. Then, he realized something. He had, a few years previously, noticed that there always was a constant feeling of chakra around Naruto, something vaguely prickly feeling that he had always assumed was the Kyuubi, and now it was gone. All of this information was leading towards a conclusion that he didn't like at all, and the next thing the girl before him did cemented his suspicions.

She threw herself forward so that she was kneeling before him. "Please don't tell anyone, Shikamaru! I'll give you all of my ramen! Just don't tell!"

The situation must be serious, he thought, he - , no, she is offering her ramen. Oh, kami. This means that Naruto's a… girl?

Naruto, if that was her name, peeked up at him from under startlingly long dark lashes, "Shikamaru? Are you okay?"

He jerked himself out of his head and focused on the problem before him. Obviously, he had stumbled onto something. He placed his hand on his forehead, trying to calm the headache he knew was in his future. "Naruto, please tell me that I'm hallucinating, and that you're not a female," he said, irritated.

She grinned nervously and scratched her head, "Umm… Would you believe me if I did?"

"Unfortunately…no."

"Oh…" Naruto's face fell, and she bit her lip. The scene was, now that the towel was in danger of slipping off any second, quite erotic, and pretty disturbing, knowing that the beautiful almost naked girl, no, woman, if front of him was Naruto.

Fighting against the temptation that was his hormones, Shikamaru looked up at the ceiling and said, "We need to talk, I suppose. But it might be better if you got some clothes on."

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Naruto's face turn pink and her eyes widen. Then she squeaked, cursed, and disappeared in a blur of gold and orange.

Lazily, he heaved himself up off of the floor, slouched to the living room, and collapsed onto the orange and black sofa, and lit a cigarette. He exhaled, and then, eyes drooping, cursed, "Tcha… How troublesome."


	2. Irksome Explanations

**!*!*! PAY ATTENTION... ATTENZIONE DI PAGA... ATENCAO DO PAGAMENTO ****!*!*!**

**Disclaimer: **As I have proclaimed before, I do not own Naruto. If I did, Sakura would have gotten eaten by rabid platypuses in the first few episodes, and Shino would be a kick-ass gangster. Enough said.

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Shikamaru opened his eyes when he felt a small amount of killer intent and his cigarette being plucked from his lips, and looked straight into the face of a pissed off and very male Naruto. This was the Naruto he knew, short blonde hair, masculine features, blindingly orange clothes.

"Don't smoke! Especially not in my house. Don't you know that these things can kill you?" Naruto said, incinerating the cigarette in a ball of scarlet flame conjured in his hand.

Shikamaru's eyebrows raised minutely; He hadn't known Naruto could do that.

"Naruto," he said slowly, looking up at the man, woman… he didn't know quite what to label Naruto at this point, "Is it really the smartest thing to do to steal the cigarette of, and yell at, the person who knows your secret?"

Naruto looked shocked, and then the shock faded away into panic. "Oh, crap! I'm sorry Shikamaru! I wasn't thinking."

Shikamaru sighed again. Figures, he thought, he forgot about that, and instead tried to save him from smoking himself to death. He – she, really was an idiot, but at least an idiot with a good heart. Okay, now it was just getting annoying. He needed to figure out what Naruto was. "Could you please drop the henge?" he asked. It was getting unnerving, and, quite frankly, female Naruto was easier on the eyes.

With a faint poof and a cloud of white smoke, Naruto turned back into a girl, curves still evident through the baggy jumpsuit.

They sat in silence for a little, Naruto fidgeting in the chair across from Shikamaru, and Shikamaru staring at Naruto.

Finally, Naruto burst out, "What are you going to do? Are you going to tell anyone?" She looked desperate.

Shikarmaru reached down to grab another cigarette, but stilled his hand. He was pretty sure that Naruto would just burn this one up, too, and that was… troublesome. He leaned forward and put his fingers together. "Naruto… why don't you tell me what this is all about."

Naruto looked at him, and then suddenly all of the tension went out of her shoulders and she slumped forward. "It's all Kyuu-chan's fault," she muttered.

Shikarmaru nodded. He understood she was talking about the Kyuubi, but how exactly was it… Wait, Kyuu-chan? As far as he knew, chan was a prefix that denoted that you were friendly with the person, and that that person was a female, that is, unless he was losing his mind and this was simply a hallucination, which seemed to be getting more probable by the moment. "Kyuu-chan?" he didn't realize he said it until the words were past his lips.

Naruto nodded, "Yeah, Kyuu-chan. She wanted me to call her Kyuu-hime, but I am not doing that. You know that the Kyuubi is sealed in me, but you might not know that Kyuubi is a woman, well, a female at least. I'm not entirely sure what female demons are called…" her voice trailed off.

"Naruto, get back on topic."

"Oh, right! Umm… I was a boy, but – " Naruto said, but then stopped at the expression on the Nara's face. It was a once a year occurrence. Instead of there being indifference, annoyance, irritation, sleepiness, laziness, or just general lack of emotion, Shikamaru looked slightly startled.

In fact, Shikamaru was. He stared at Naruto. What does he mean he was a boy? The whole thing was just getting weirder and weirder with each passing moment, but he waved for Naruto to continue.

"Right, well, as I was saying, I was a boy, but things kind of changed when I hit puberty. You see, like I said, I was a boy; that part is true, but Kyuu-chan is a female, and a little after I turned thirteen, when I hit puberty, I kind of… merged on a deeper level with Kyuu-chan. I could talk to her in my mindscape at will, and use her power, and, in return, she can experience everything I do. She didn't tell me that I would turn into a girl overnight, though," she finished on a grumpy note.

Shikamaru whistled lowly. He had heard of puberty being an awkward and hard time for kids, but not like this. Imagine changing sex overnight. Now that could be hard to deal with. He winced at the idea of your manhood disappearing and growing breasts instead. It was a man's worst nightmare. But, as disturbing and weird as this was, it didn't explain some things.

"I can understand how…," he stopped and clapped Naruto on the shoulder, "I'm sorry for what you went through, man." Apologizing just seemed like the right thing to do.

Naruto snorted, "Thanks… You have no idea how it feels to wake up as a girl."

No, Shikamaru didn't know, and he didn't want to imagine it. But they were getting off track, and there were still questions that needed to be answered. "Why didn't you tell anyone? Or did you?" he asked.

Naruto ran a hand through her now long hair, "I – I… When I woke up and found out that I was a girl, I had a long talk with Kyuu-chan. We thought it would be best not to tell anyone what had happened. The villagers… and some of the other ninja… they don't like me, because of the Kyuubi."

Shikamaru snorted inwardly. That was an understatement. A large percentage of the population, ignorant as they were, hated him, or rather, her, and all because they thought that Naruto was the Kyuubi.

Naruto puffed out her cheeks, which, on Naruto as a guy had just looked ridiculous, but now as a girl looked adorable. Shikamaru pushed that unwelcome fact into a dark corner of his mind and focused on what Naruto was saying.

"Those people might get freaked out in they knew that I was closer to Kyuu-chan, and they might think that the seal was breaking."

Shikamaru narrowed his eyes. Naruto was leaving something out. "And?" he prodded.

"And Kyuu-chan thought that I would be safer if I continued life as a boy. If they knew I was a girl, they might try to… they might try to," Naruto couldn't get the last word out, but Shikamaru understood, and what was worse, was the fact that the men of the village might actually have tried. "That's not the only reason, though. Life as a kunoichi is more dangerous, and…" he paused and then said in a rush, "I thought that the council might try and force me into an arranged marriage to cement a peace treaty!" She continued before Shikamaru could say anything. "Think about it. If you wanted to join alliances with another village, what better way to do that then giving them a human weapon? If a village has a jinchuuriki, it's like added protection and a warning to other villages. And females are much more likely to be forced to do that."

Shikamaru grimaced. Naruto was right. No matter how distasteful, it was actually something that the village might do. By some, Naruto wasn't even considered human, but Shikamaru could definitely see some some the more… unpleasant council members thinking of Naruto as a bargaining chip. But what amazed him the most was that Naruto had thought this all through. Maybe he was dreaming. He could hope at least.

Almost as if Naruto knew what he was thinking, he said, "I'll put a rumor of the village to rest, Shikamaru. I'm not that stupid, at least, I'm definitely smarter than Kiba."

Shikamaru shrugged. That wasn't really saying much. Most of his questions had been cleared up, and he didn't like the answers. They were making his over developed brain hurt. He knew he shouldn't have shown up for work today. Staying home and playing shoji sounded so much less troublesome. There was one little thing that he was curious about, "Are you good… friends with the Kyuubi?"

Naruto did something in between a nod and shaking her head, like a head bobble. "Well, I guess you could say that. We don't hate each other anymore. I mean, I don't blame her for being sealed in me, and she doesn't hate me for being her prison. I was kind of pissed at her for a while for not telling me that I would turn into a freaking chick, but I'm okay with that now. She says she could have been sealed into a worse human, though not necessarily more retarded. It's a love hate relationship. If you want to know the truth, she's a bit of a bitc-" she broke off, her face turning a lovely shade of pink, and her eyes became unfocused.

Shikamaru leaned forward, trying to figure out what was happening. He supposed she was talking to the Kyuubi.

Then, Naruto let out a shriek and clamped her hands over her eyes. "Ahhh! Don't show me that! My brain! It's burning my brain!"

Shikamaru sweatdropped. He had the idea that nothing life-threatening was happening, but something potentially disturbing was.

A few seconds later, Naruto slowly uncovered her eyes, cheeks still pink. "Sorry," she murmured, coughing slightly.

"What happened?" Shikamaru asked, although not entirely sure that he wanted to know.

Naruto hesitated, and then answered, "Kyuu-chan is a complete pervert. Think Kakashi-sensei and Ero-sennin wrapped into one and then to the eighth power."

Shikamaru's eye twitched. He had a collection of Icha-Icha at home, but he wasn't obsessed with it and had trouble dealing with Kakashi's perversions sometimes. The great Toad Sage was a completely different story… super pervert and a self proclaimed one at that.

"She likes you," Naruto added, almost as if in explanation, and Shikamaru suddenly had an idea of what the Kyuubi had shown Naruto. He felt his cheeks heating up and coughed into his hand.

They drifted off into extremely uncomfortable silence, and Shikamaru went over what he had learned in his head. Naruto had been a boy, and now was completely a girl, was very close to the Kyuubi, and was hiding her true identity for very reasonable reasons. He, on the other hand, had discovered her secret, and now had to decide what to do about it. This whole thing, he thought, annoyed and still a little flustered, was a complete mess. Only Naruto could have made something like this, and now he was involved. He didn't suppose he could just pretend this never happened? He threw that idea away. That was wishful thinking, and it would come back to bite him in the end.

"Are you going to tell?" Naruto asked suddenly, looking at him with big, liquid, sky-blue eyes.

Shikamaru took a breath, let it out, and then slouched back into the couch. "No, I won't tell anyone. It would be too much work."

The next second, Naruto launched herself forward, and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Really? Thank you! I swear, I will treat you to ramen for this! Thank you!"

Even though Naruto was almost choking him, he couldn't stop the jolt of pleasure that flashed through him. Naruto was hugging him tightly, and was obviously not wearing a bra. Soft, warm mounds pressed against him, and he pushed Naruto off hurriedly. Even if Naruto was now a woman, she had no idea the effect she was creating, and he didn't feel like enlightening her.

She stopped hugging him, but still beamed at him, huge grin spread across her face.

He looked away from her face and glanced at the clock on the wall. It had been an hour since the Hokage had sent him to fetch Naruto. He was so dead. With a groan, he stood up. "We should get going, I suppose. Lady Tsunade is going to murder me, and I plan on using you as a shield," Shikamaru said flatly. Usually he was all for chivalry, but in this case, he could forget about it.

Naruto pumped her fist in the air, all melancholy about him finding out her secret gone.

She was about to stroll out the door, but Shikamaru stopped her. "Shouldn't you henge yourself into your guy form?"

"Right!" With another poof, Naruto stood in front of him as a guy… again. He had to say, he really was starting to prefer Naruto's true form.

As they passed out the door, Shikamaru said, "You should probably fix the doggie-door."

"Yeah, I know. I'm just trying to design a seal to put on the flap to allow only foxes to pass."

Shikamaru shook his head. Figures.

Naruto bounced down the path, a ball of inexhaustible energy, "Let's go!"

"Yeah, yeah," Shikamaru lazily followed. He had a feeling that life was going to get a whole lot more difficult. His hand strayed to the pouch with his cigarettes and he held it to his lips. He also had a feeling that he was going to need a lot more cigarettes to get through what was going to happen. He lit it and took a drag, inhaling deeply.

"Hey! Put that thing down!"

Yes, life was getting more troublesome already.

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I didn't exactly expect my first chapter to get three reviews, but that's great. It's way more than I expected, so I wrote this chapter quicker than I was originally going to. Hope you liked it.

Ja ne,

_Rumer_

**Ice Cold Steel:** Well, since you don't usually review, I'll just say thank you for reviewing. And I know what you mean, barely anyone writes female Naruto and Shikamaru fanfictions. I mean, why not? Shikamaru is a completely awesome lazy bastard. About the summary, thanks again. Some people just write anything out for the summary, but I think you should actually think about it. It's the summary of your entire story. As for Naruto's name, I'm either going to keep it as Naruto or shorten it to Naru, but since you asked, Ice, I will probably keep it as Naruto. I've read a bunch of fanfictions that make Naruto dark, and I mean freaky, licking blood, psychopathic, suicidal, just plain creepy, dark. I wanted him... her... it... Whatever, to be the same cheerful blonde we know, just maybe not quite such an idiot. I swear, you must be psychic. I was just thinking about posting the first chapters of two more fanfictions, but, I will take your advice and wait until I am well into this story. Tell me if you liked this chapter, yeah?

**hypersreak:** Glad you like the story. It's my first time writing stories based off of other peoples' stories and using their characters, so I wasn't sure how it was going to turn out, but it's cool, I like it. Now, you know why Naruto didn't want anyone to know that she, I'm pretty sure I can call her a her now, was a girl. Hope the reason(s) made sense to you; they did to me... sort of. Whatever. Anyway, here's the next chapter of the series. Tell me what you think of it.

**arettig: **Ah, you think it's wonderful story? Sweet. That's a good review if anything is, and, since you can't wait to read more, here's the next chapter, more of Naruto being... well, Naruto, and Shikarmaru being the lazy bastard we all know and love.


	3. Wearisome Women

**!*!*! PAY ATTENTION... AANDAG... I KUSHTOJ VEMENDJE !*!*!**

**Disclaimer: **Naruto does not belong to me, and I do not make any pesos, dollars, yen, lira, pounds, dinars, rupees, or quetzals from this fanfiction, sadly. Read on.**  
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Twenty minutes later, they stood outside the door to the Hokage's office. Shikarmaru, being the intelligent and brilliant man he was, hung back and let Naruto go ahead for safety reasons.

Without even knocking, Naruto pushed open the double doors energetically and yelled loudly, "Oi, Baa-chan! I'm here. What do you want?"

There was a smacking sound, and Lady Tsunade growled, "Don't call me that, brat!"

Figuring it was safe to enter the office, Shikamaru unhurriedly went in.

A large vein was pulsing in Lady Tsunade's forehead, and Naruto cowered before her, holding her head. He wouldn't expect anything else. He collapsed into a chair, out of the reach of the Hokage's fists. Lady Tsunade muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, "ungrateful brat," and gulped down some sake from the ever present supply on her desk.

It amazed him. Shikamaru knew he had a pretty high tolerance for alcohol, but she must have been immune with the amount she downed. How did she function? And what was she like sober?

The Hokage slammed her container of sake down on the desk and then leveled an impressive glare at the Nara. "What the hell took you so long? I sent you to get him two hours ago!" She stood up from her desk, large breasts bouncing dangerously.

Shikamaru would have pointed out that it hadn't been two hours… if he had a death wish. Instead, he started analyzing the room for possible exits.

What happened next surprised him slightly. "Wait! It wasn't Shikamaru's fault! I made him wait while I ate my ramen!" Naruto said, stepping in between the pissed of slug princess and the lazy genius.

Naruto had saved him? More than that, Naruto had lied to save him from getting his ass beat. Although, Naruto couldn't exactly tell Lady Tsunade that he was really a she and she and everything else that had happened. Well, maybe knowing Naruto's secret wouldn't be quite that troublesome. No, that was still just wishful thinking. Every single one of his better than average brain cells told him that this was going to be a completely wacked out, not in a good way, situation.

The Hokage stopped, halfway to Shikamaru, fist raised. "Ramen? It took that whole time because you were eating ramen?" Naruto nodded frantically, and then saw the dangerous look in her eyes, but didn't dodge fast enough. She slugged Naruto on the head again, "Brat! Eat your ramen on your own time!" She stomped back to her desk and sat down with a huff, leaving Shikamaru gazing at her lazily and Naruto nursing, not one, but two lumps on her head.

"Now," the Hokage said, "I called you here, Naruto, because I have a problem. Our village has been contracted to do a mission. By the Yugakure."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. As far as he knew, the Yugakure wasn't a ninja village. That wasn't the odd part. The odd part was the Yugakure hiring them. They had barely had any contact with the Hidden Leaf village.

Tsunade continued, "Usually, this wouldn't be a problem, but it's more complicated. As you two know, or you at least know, Nara, the Yugakure doesn't have ninja. Or, at least, they didn't. They do now. They're forming new ninja clans, building shinobi schools, and instituting new everything, basically. They are also rising in power. Do you know what this means? We have a chance to ally ourselves with them."

Naruto, who had been fighting to keep still, asked, "Well, that's cool. What's the problem, Baa-chan?"

Tsunade twitched, but managed not to give Naruto a third bruise. "The problem, brat, is that the Kage, the new Kage, has a problem. He has information that there will be an assassination attempt on his daughter, and he doesn't know who to trust in his own country. He does, however, trust me, and by extension, he trusts the ninja I trust. Now, he believes that his daughter will be assassinated on her birthday, and he needs two ninja to come and protect her. They need to be able to blend in, to pretend to be friends of his daughter. She's around your age, and that's the problem."

Shikamaru's brain was processing information. The Yugakure becoming a shinobi village was a major event, and he could see why Lady Tsunade would want to make a treaty with them. Then there was the assassination attempt, that wasn't too unusual either, and there were plenty of ninjas that were their age. What exactly was the problem?

The Hokage answered that question. "Here's the problem. Ino is pregnant, which you know, and I couldn't put her on the mission, and Choji wants to be there when the baby is born, Lee just stands out too much, Neji and Ten-Ten are on missions, and… Sakura, while I know she is my apprentice, she isn't cut out for field work, and then there's the Uchiha. He doesn't work well with anyone but Naruto. Sai's, well... Sai is Sai. Also, at least one of the ninja I send needs to be a girl; it wouldn't be right if they were both male. People might get suspicious."

Okay, things were getting a little more complicated, but still, he could see at least one solution to the problem. "Can't you send in another ninja in a henge to look right?" He drawled.

"No, that's one of the problems. The Yugakure has one very talented person especially, who created a new seal. They inscribed it an the entrance to the city, and whoever passes by immediately is revealed as who they are; there henge gets dispelled."

"Does that mean we'd see what you really look like, Baa-chan?" Naruto piped up. She dodged as an empty sake bottle sped past her head.

Shikamaru now could see the problem. If they needed ninjas to set off immediately, and they didn't have any available, then diplomacy between two villages could be on the line. As lazy as he was, he could see how the situation could become troublesome, even to him. But what had she asked, well, ordered, him to fetch Naruto? She thought that Naruto was a boy, or did she? Maybe she knew and was calling Naruto out on it. There was also another option, one to do with Naruto's… tenant.

"So why do you want me?" Naruto asked, pointing to herself with a clueless expression.

Tsunade sighed, and the anger drained away from her face. "Naruto… The seal will strip away henges, regular henges, but I thought that perhaps you, with the Kyuubi, could find a way to… bypass it."

Shikamaru watched Naruto's face as the Hokage made her request. A flicker of something else, something darker, flashed across Naruto's face, and it didn't belong. But it quickly disappeared and an idiotically grinning Naruto reappeared. It had happened so quickly that Shikamaru doubted whether Tsunade had even seen it. "Sure! Of course I can, Baa-chan. I'll be back here tomorrow, and you'll see, okay? Believe it!" She gave the Hokage a big thumbs up.

The tension seemed to seep out of Tsunade. "Really? I actually believe you, Brat. Don't disappoint me, okay? Now, you're dismissed. Go get some ramen," she said roughly, but definitely fondly, and tossed a small pouch of money to Naruto and then pouring herself another cup of sake.

"Got it!" Naruto waved an exuberant good-bye and burst out of the office.

Shikamaru followed at a more leisurely pace. He couldn't imagine where Naruto got all of his… no, her, energy. It made him tired just watching. They walked down the hallway, well, Shikamaru walked; Naruto was jumping around like a monkey who had been dosed with espresso.

The sharp clack of heels on stone caught the Nara's attention. A pink haired woman, with bright green eyes and a rather large forehead, strutted down the hall, a stack of files clutched close to her chest.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto exclaimed, lunging forward to hug her and smiling idiotically. Sakura sidestepped easily, and Naruto went barreling into the wall. "Sakura-chan, how 'bout a date? I'll take you anywhere you want!"

Shikamaru paused. That was another thing to think about. Naruto's insistent pursuit of Sakura. He now knew that Naruto was a girl, a female, a woman, and Sakura was also a girl, not that he had anything against it, them both being girls. So Naruto liked Sakura, but Sakura didn't know that Naruto was a girl. How was it supposed to work? Personally, he couldn't see the attraction to Sakura. She was loud, although Naruto was too, she was also annoying, brash, violent, selfish, plain, and had the almost impossible ability to be smart at book-smarts and absolutely retarded in practical use.

Sakura scowled at the grinning Naruto, and she snapped, "Baka! Leave me alone, and stop asking me. I'm not going to go on a date with you!"

Naruto pouted. "Aww… Sakura-chan, you don't have to be so mean," he whined.

She glared at him sharply, "I have work to do, real work, so leave me alone, and let me get it done. Go bother someone else." She directed a scathing glance at Shikamaru, who was leaning up against the wall, and then stomped off.

Yup, he just couldn't figure out what Naruto saw in her. She was even more troublesome than Ino. At least Ino had calmed down with all of the fan-girl stuff and had already settled down with Choji. Shikamaru also knew a few other things about Sakura from Ino. Apparently, when Ino had used her family jutsu to go into Sakura's head, she had learned that the other girl had a split personality. It figured.

"You okay, Naruto?" he asked quietly.

Naruto just smiled and nodded. "Absolutely! Don't worry! I'll get her to go on a date with me no matter what! I never give up," she said, picking herself up off of the floor and continuing her way out of the tower.

Shikamaru slouched at her side. "Hey, Naruto? Do you really love Sakura? I mean, I know you're really a…" He let the words fall silent, careful in case an Anbu member had been listening.

Naruto shook her head, "No. I don't love her like that. It's just to keep up my image. When I was younger, I saw some kids picking on her, and I kind of felt a connection. I wanted to be her friend; that's all I wanted for a while, but after a few years, I realized that she wasn't the person I thought she was. She's kind of bossy and mean, you know? I'd still like to be her friend, though; I haven't given up on that." She lapsed into silence.

Still? Naruto still hadn't given up on Sakura being anything other than a bossy, annoying woman? Shikamaru had to give her credit for her tenacity, or stupidity, it could go either way. It make him feel better, for some unknown reason, to know that Naruto didn't have those sorts of feelings for Sakura. The two together had never seemed quite right to him, mainly, because, although they could both be loud and annoying, Naruto cared deeply and was nice, and Sakura… wasn't so much. Shikamaru knew she wasn't that bad, but, personally, he just didn't care for her. Naruto, on the other hand, was a different story. He liked Naruto, now even more that he knew he was actually a she, and a hot she at that. Sure Naruto was troublesome, and irritated him sometimes, okay, a lot of the time, but she was still just plain good.

Naruto jerked him out of the rather flattering, if a little odd, thoughts that Shikamaru was having. "Hey, Shikamaru?"

"Yeah, what?"

"Do you want to go get some ramen?" She held up the bag with the money the Hokage had given her and shook it.

Shikamaru rocked back and forth on his heels for a moment, and then shrugged. "Sure…" That didn't sound too bad.

"Awesome! Let's go!" Naruto yelled, punching the air and starting off in the direction of the Ichiraku Ramen Bar.

As what was beginning to become a habit, Shikamaru lazily trudged after her, once again lighting a cigarette and inhaling deeply.

The next thing he knew, the cigarette had been plucked from his lips, again, and Naruto was scowling at him. "What did I tell you? Don't smoke! It's bad for you and it ruins your taste-buds. Do you know what that means? It means that you won't be able to taste the ramen! I don't even want to think about that. It's horrible. Now, come on." She proceeded to drag an only faintly dismayed and irked Shikamaru after her.

He couldn't argue with her logic, even if it was skewed and he didn't appreciate it. He had the feeling that, in the near future, his precious cigarettes were going to be manhandled by a certain blonde.

As he was dragged along, something suddenly became clear. The expression that had flashed across Naruto's face when the Hokage had mentioned the Kyuubi, it had been, not anger or sadness, but a sort of tired and emotionless acceptance. It had looked empty, and that was an expression that didn't belong on Naruto's face. The idea intrigued and scared him. He was finding out that Naruto wasn't quite what he had thought, and he still had a lot to learn, but for now Naruto's warm hand was latched onto his, holding him firmly so that he couldn't escape, and well, even in the whole situation was bothersome, so far, he didn't really mind. Things could have been more troublesome.

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Okay, here is the third chapter of my story. I've gotten pretty positive feedback from the first two chapters, which is great. This chapter sets things up for the next chapter and the mission that follows in all of its weird and awesome glory. If any of you have a problem with the way that I portrayed Sakura, sorry, but I don't really like her. She will get a little nicer later in the story, but, for now, she's a bit of a bitch. Anyway, tell me what you guys think of the story so far. You guys' reviews rock.

Ja ne,

_Rumer_

**Year of the Butterfly: **Okay, first, I'll answer your questions. Yes, Tsunade will find out the truth eventually, but not right away. And so will Pervy-sage and Iruka, but they'll find out later also. Hope I answered your questions. It seems like most people think that I'm getting the characters down right. Great, that's what I'm aiming for. Although I don't mind when people put their own spin on the personalities, I think it's better when they stay a little truer to form. It annoys me if they're too far off. Now, what exactly do you mean when you say that you like it a little more than you should? I'm curious.

**Krystal: **Another person who says that I'm getting the character right! Thanks, Krystal. It's great that you think that my story is amazing; frankly, it's nice to hear. Here's the next chapter.

**pokermaniac039: **Thanks. Keep reading and keep commenting. I look forward to knowing what you think.

**Ice Cold Steel: **Thank you, Ice, for reading my story with a critical eye. I appreciate it. When Shikamaru switched to first person, it was kind of on purpose, like you were in his head, but I'm not positive if you can do that according to grammar rules. I changed it to how you said. So, anyway, thanks again. I've read a bunch of fanfictions where Naruto turns into a girl in the ways you mentioned, and some others. Some of them are really creepy to imagine. I just thought this way made sense, well, as much as demon changing your sex while you live in a world with ninjas makes sense. Keep reading, Ice, and I'll keep writing.

**tinkerbellstar19: **Funny is good. I like making people laugh. Cute? That wasn't quite what I am going for, but I'll take it. It has a positive connotation. I will keep writing this story as long as I am able to and as long as you keep reading it. Glad you like it.

**kayla: **Ha, this is really nice. I'm getting positive reviews. Yeah, there aren't too many stories where Naruto suddenly turns into a girl, but I think I did it okay, and, apparently, you think it's a good idea, too. It's nice to know that you like the story, and here's the next chapter for you to read an enjoy (I hope).

**vampydarkangel: **I accept the props. ^_^ Well, it's awesome that you accidentally clicked on my story. Ahhh! You hate the femNaru stories? Well, a lot of them are kind of... yeah... but I've managed to convert you! At least partially, that is. You asked me to update soon, and here it is. Are there really that many female Naruto/Shikamaru stories? Huh, maybe I was wrong. You don't really notice things correctly when you're reading fanfiction at ten at night after eating chocolate cake, ice cream, Pocky, and some more sugar. It gives you a warped view of reality, but I'm getting off topic. Enjoy the story.


	4. Troublesome Tests

**!*!*! PAY ATTENTION... ARRETA... PRESTAR ATENCIO !*!*!**

**Disclaimer: **No part of Naruto belongs to me. If it did, Akamaru would have eaten Tora to save time so that no one had to look for it, and to save the poor cat from the horror of being hugged by Madam Shijimi.**  
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Shikamaru, with bored eyes, took in the appearance of everyone else in the Hokage's office. It was packed, but he knew why there were so many people. They were all there to test out Naruto's jutsu, to make sure it was fool proof.

Kiba Inuzuka was there, probably because of his enhanced eyes, hearing, and sense of smell, and he kept glancing sideways at a nervously fiddling Hinata Hyuuga. She was there because of her Byakugan, and the Uchiha was there because of his Sharingan. Kakashi was probably there because he was Naruto's old sensei, although that didn't really make sense. He was just leaning against the wall, a volume of Icha-Icha in his hand, giggling perversely at random intervals. Pervert. There wasn't really a reason why Sakura was there that he could figure out. It must have been because she was Lady Tsunade's apprentice.

He couldn't even figure out why he was there. It couldn't be good. How troublesome. Now that he thought about it, why had the Hokage asked Naruto about her henge if Hinata was in the village? As far as he knew, she was a female and didn't appear to be on a mission. Oh, well. He'd ask later, maybe after Naruto came… if she ever did. She was late, and the Hokage had already gone through two bottles of sake, which, as far as he could tell, were not improving her mood.

"When is Naruto going to get here?" Kiba asked loudly, and impatiently, running his fingers through Akamaru's fur.

Hinata, with a faint blush on her face, said quietly, "I'm sure that he has a good reason for being late, Kiba-kun."

Shikamaru almost smiled. After so many years, Hinata had, mostly, gotten over Naruto, and now they were actually friends, and, if he wasn't mistaken, which, taking into account his I.Q, he doubted, Kiba was going to ask her out shortly. Maybe she'd be a good influence on the Inuzuka. He was almost as loud as Naruto, and twice as brash.

Almost as if Naruto knew they were talking about her, the doors flew open, and Naruto walked in, but it wasn't the Naruto they knew. All eyes were on her. Her long golden hair was tied up in high pig-tails, like in her Sexy no Jutsu, but she looked different. She had no whisker marks, and she was more delicate looking, with wide blue eyes, slender body, and… wow.

She wore a pale, burnt orange top, with a strap tied around her neck, that outlined her breasts, and was cut off right under her bust, showing a tanned, toned stomach.

A thought nagged at him. Her seal wasn't in sight, but he ignored it for the moment, going back to his study of Naruto.

A pair of baggy dark brown pants hung seductively low on her hips. Shikamaru swallowed hard. She looked almost as good as she had wet, half-naked, with her towel falling off. He wasn't the only one stunned. The room was silent, except for a faint thump when Kakashi dropped his Icha-Icha book in surprise.

Naruto grinned at their expressions, but addressed herself to the Hokage, "Well, what do you think, Baa-chan?"

Lady Tsunade shook her head, "Brat, you just better be glad that that pervert Jiraiya isn't here. You'd be the inspiration for his newest book." She turned to the other occupants of the room and nodded, signaling for them to start their inspection.

Kiba stepped forward with Akamaru, and looked at Naruto closely, sniffing the air. His face was so red that Shikamaru was surprised he hadn't had a nose bleed yet. After a thorough inspection, he stepped back, and reported to the Hokage. "I can't find anything out of the ordinary, besides something faintly chemical," he said, shrugging.

"That's makeup," Naruto offered.

Kiba stared at her but didn't say anything. Hinata went next, after frowning at Kiba for a moment, most likely because he was ogling Naruto. Shikamaru couldn't help but agree with her. There was no reason for him to stare at Naruto quite so much. She activated her Byakugan and the veins stood out harshly around her eyes. After a few moments, she deactivated it and shook her head slowly. "I can't see anything out of the ordinary. Naruto-kun, it looks like you have the chakra pathways of a civilian."

Naruto beamed at her and hugged her. "No, Hinata-chan. It's not Naruto-kun anymore. It's Naruto-chan!"

The image of the two beautiful and big breasted women hugging, bodies pressed together was too much. Plus, Kiba looked like he was drooling.

"Okay, Uchiha," Shikamaru interrupted, "let's see if your Sharingan can see anything."

Naruto pulled away from a red faced and stuttering Hinata and stood in front of Sasuke. Sasuke stared down at Naruto, and immediately his eyes turned red, spinning tomoes in their depths. Minutes went by, and no one moved or said a word, and then, Sasuke's eyes returned to their normal dark grey hue. "Hn," he grunted, turning away.

Shikamaru took that as meaning that he hadn't found anything, and so did Naruto.

She pumped her fist in the air. "I knew it! You couldn't find anything wrong, could you? I look like a perfect hot chick!"

Shikamaru watched as the Uchiha's face twitched, and he said, "Hn. I might not have been able to find anything wrong, but that doesn't mean that you could act like a girl, or even look like a beautiful one." It was a lame comeback, and Shikamaru knew the Uchiha knew it, but it riled up Naruto.

She glared at Sasuke. "What was that, Teme? I'm sorry; I don't speak Bastardese. I could have sworn you said something."

"I said, you may look like a female, sort of, but I doubt you could act like one. You couldn't seduce Kiba, and he's an idiot, Dobe."

Kiba growled at this, but Sasuke ignored him. Shikamaru suddenly had the urge to team up with Kiba and kick the Uchiha's ass. He frowned, wondering where that emotion came from.

Naruto puffed out her cheeks and poked Sasuke in the chest. "Teme! I'll show you."

If there was one thing that Naruto couldn't resist or back down from, it was a challenge. Shikamaru leaned back into the chair and pulled out a cigarette, figuring that Naruto was too busy to notice he was smoking.

Sasuke raised an eye brow at Naruto's outburst and asked emotionlessly, but somehow still managing to sound like a bastard, "Oh, and how are you going to do that?"

A foxy smile, which sent chills up Shikamaru's spine, formed on Naruto's face. "Oh, just watch." She turned away from him and in the direction of Kakashi. Then, she started. She walked towards him slowly, hips swaying sensually with each step. Kakashi didn't move, but Shikamaru could tell that he was paying attention. He hadn't flipped a page of his Icha-Icha for several minutes, and his eyes, or rather, eye wasn't moving down the sentences.

"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto practically purred, standing in front of him, "What do you think? How do I look?"

Kakashi glanced up from his book, only to be met with a very good view of Naruto's chest. "You look fine, Naruto," he answered.

Naruto pouted and moved closer, "Just fine? Not beautiful?" She asked, moving around him. "Kakashi-sensei? Can I ask you a favor?"

Shikamaru stared. How did she manage to make something so innocent sound so… dirty?

"Yes, Naruto?" Shikamaru respected Kakashi's resolve. He actually managed to keep his voice steady.

Naruto ran her fingers lightly along his arm and shoulders, "When I get back from my mission, since you're still so much stronger than me, could you give me a lesson?" She moved still closer, positioned her lips next to his ear, and whispered, "a private lesson? Ka-ka-shi?" She drew out his name in a sultry way, and ran her fingers through his gravity defying silver hair.

Kakashi's face, or what wasn't covered by his face mask and headband, was tinged pink, and he seemed to be leaning into Naruto's touch.

A burning pain between Shikamaru's fingers alerted him that this cigarette had burned down. Maybe he had walked into a different dimension, because where he was standing, it looked like Naruto was seducing Kakashi. It was like watching one of the Icha-Icha books come to life. What the hell was Naruto thinking? Although, not that he minded seeing this. It was really erotic, although, he would have preferred that he was in Kakashi's place. He froze. He did not just think that. There was no way.

While he was having his internal battle, Naruto, with a smile, patted Kakashi on the head and stepped in front of a speechless Sasuke. "Take that, Teme! I can so act like a girl and seduce!"

Shikamaru sweatdropped. Oh, right. He had forgotten about the challenge while Naruto had been doing her little… act. Well, to be fair, it had been very distracting. Where had Naruto learned to act like that? The Great Toad Sage had probably perverted her mind when they had gone on the training trip.

Sasuke averted his eyes, face pink, and said, "Hn." But his voice cracked, sending Naruto into gales of laughter, and making the Uchiha glare.

In the corner, Kiba's nose was bleeding freely, and Hinata's face was the color of a ripe tomato. The Hokage was just staring at Naruto, one hand pouring sake, but it was missing the cup and dripping off the desk into a puddle on the floor.

Sakura, who had been silent the whole time, exploded. "Naruto-baka! You're embarrassing Sasuke-kun! Take off the Henge, now!" Sakura's face was the color of her hair.

Personally, Shikamaru had the idea that Sakura had enjoyed the little scene, but he wasn't about to say that aloud. He knew, from experience, that she could hit hard when she wanted to.

"Aww, what's wrong, Sakura-chan? Jealous 'cause I'm hotter than you?" Naruto teased.

Sakura's mouth formed a perfect "O" of horror and her eyes bugged out. Shikamaru couldn't help but snort in laughter. The look on her face. The rest of the occupants of the room, with the exception of Kakashi, who still seemed to be stupefied, burst into laughter. Now, Sakura looked murderous. She cracked her knuckles threateningly, "You're going down!"

But, before she could lunge forward at Naruto, Lady Tsunade grabbed her by the back of her dress. "Sakura, try and act like an adult."

"But, Tsunade! Naruto-" Sakura started, but the Hokage interrupted. "Naruto's an idiot."

"Hey!" said idiot yelled, but was ignored.

She continued, "It does not mean that you need to act like an idiot, too. Got it?"

With a glare at Naruto and a pout, Sakura nodded stiffly.

"Good, now," Lady Tsunade said, turning to Naruto, "I don't know how you did it, but since none of us can tell that you're anything but a civilian, you got the mission. Thank Kami. This is a three-person mission, though. Two of you will play civilians, and one of you will go as the ninja hired to escort them to the Yugakure. We all know that one of the civilians will be Naruto in his Henge."

Shikamaru flicked his burnt out cigarette straight into one of the empty sake bottles, effectively catching her attention.

"Yes, Nara?"

"Why are you having Naruto go on the mission when you have Hinata?"

"Hinata has been requested to do another mission because her skill sets are needed. She goes out tomorrow, and I don't want to piss off the person who contracted it. Now, as I was saying. Naruto will play the girl, and I believe Sasuke should go as the actual ninja, since, if you, Naruto, are acting as a friend of the Kage's daughter, then you would be protected by a first class ninja, hence Sasuke." Sasuke smirked, pleased, for a moment. "And, the other person who I want going on this mission is you, Nara."

Shikamaru glared at her lazily. That was not good. Him? Going on a mission with Naruto and the Uchiha? First, he just didn't want to go on missions; they were troublesome, and he spent a portion of his time avoiding going on missions. Second, he'd probably crack and kill Naruto if he had to spend much time in Naruto's company. Naruto was like ice cream. Eat too much and you'll get brain freeze, or in this case, commit homicide. Third, he really didn't like the Uchiha; there was just something about him. Probably something to do with him being a cocky emo bastard.

"Why me?" he asked aloud, although he already knew the answer.

"Because. The Yugakure, we know some things about, the Yugakure as a ninja village, we do not. With your intelligence you would most likely notice and observe and understand more than anyone else. I need information, and you're the best choice. Plus, you don't really look like a ninja. Now, you are taking this mission." There was no room for argument in her tone.

His mind scanned for possible options. There weren't any. You couldn't really refuse a direct order from the Hokage.

"Fine," he grumbled.

"Good. Sasuke, Naruto, Shikamaru, all of you report to the front gate at dawn tomorrow. The mission will begin. Take, this information I have on the Yugakure, the Kage, and his daughter and have it memorized by tomorrow," Lady Tsunade said.

Naruto shot across the room and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Awesome! We get to go on a mission together, Shika!"

Shika? When had he been promoted to Shika instead of Shikamaru? Oh, well. It didn't sound that bad.

She was still hugging him, body pleasantly soft and warm against his, and all of the men were glaring at him, while Sakura glared at Naruto. How bothersome. The guys were glaring at him because Naruto, who they thought was a guy, still looked like a hot girl. He wondered how they'd react if they knew that Naruto actually was a hot girl. And Sakura was glaring because Naruto had hit the issue right on the head. Naruto was much hotter than her, and she obviously didn't like it.

The Hokage was happily drinking sake, and Hinata was blushing for some unknown reason.

He shrugged inwardly. Naruto was still hugging him, babbling about the misson, and the feeling was nice to say the least. He might as well enjoy himself for now, the next day was going to be extremely troublesome. He just knew it.

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Ah! I made it to chapter number four! And I have the next chapter planned out in my head, I just need to type it up. Yes, Shikamaru is being forced to go on a mission. The horror. And, yes, Naruto did just seduce Kakashi. Frightening... and she's really good at it. Never back down from a challenge! Dattebayo! Sorry, I just had to get that out. Anyways, I hope you all are enjoying this story so far,

Ja ne,

_Rumer_

**Juliedoo: **Glad you think the story is amazing. Yes, don't we all just love Shikamaru? He's the ultimate, brilliant, lazy ass. Ahh... Regarding the female Naruto plot, yeah, I agree. It is pretty frickin' hilarious. Now, since sitting on pins and needles sounds pretty uncomfortable, I'm posting the next chapter. If you like it, let me know.

**SilentMadness: **Thanks. Unique, funny, and attention grabbing are all good things in my book, especially unique. You don't want to just write a story like someone else's, you know? Saying you love it is about the untimate compliment, so here it the next chapter for you.

**Sable Scribe: **Nice to see, or would it be read?, someone who's a ShikaNaru fan, and a hard core one at that. I just think that Shikamaru, the lazy, apathetic, genius, and Naruto, the energetic, emotional, dobe, and a perfect match. They balance each other out so well. About Shino... I mean, he wears those sunglasses and that big ass coat all the time. He already looks like a gangster, and he's so quiet. It's always the quiet ones who surprise you. Heh heh, he really would be an awesome gangster. Anyway, glad you like it, Scribe.

**Jits: **Okay, I hurried with the this chapter. I'm writing a lot of other stories, but I will not forget about this one. It's just so much fun to write. It's awesomeness takes time. Wow, that last sentence was ego ridden. Anyway, I clicked onto you userpage. You're French? Cool. If you don't mind me asking, what's it like where you are?

**Ice Cold Steel: **Well, Naruto is kind of used to people using her because of the Kyuubi, and being treated differently, and not necessarily in a good way, because of it. I will elaborate about that more later in the story. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that smoking messes up your taste buds. And it makes sense, doesn't it? You are inhaling smoke. It made perfect sense to me. Smoking+ramen=not being able to taste ramen, which equals horror. I really like ramen... Getting hungry... I suppose it's just the sort of person that Naruto is. He, or would it be she in this case, will never give up. Thanks for the compliment about capturing Naruto's personality. And, for Shikamaru, I wanted to him to be a little jealous, but he's probably still not going to do anything about it at this point. That would be too troublesome... I never thought about myself as diligent about updating my story, Ice, but I suppose. I just get pissed when an author puts out a chapter once every two months or something. I know they have to have inspiration, and I understand, but I never had the gift of patience. Hope you liked this chapter.


	5. A Maddening Mission

**!*!*! PAY ATTENTION... OBRATITE PAZNJU... POZOR !*!*!**

**Disclaimer: **I did not create Naruto or any of its facets. If I did, Kakashi and Jiraiya would have become partners in business. You know what sort of business I'm talking about. Long live Icha-Icha and its like!**  
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Shikamaru sighed and slouched down the wall until he was sitting on the ground.

The sun was just beginning to rise over the trees, illuminating their leaves and tinting the light faintly green. He was in the shadow of the wall, eyes closed and arms crossed over his chest. He was early, but it wasn't by choice. Choji and Ino had come over to his apartment the night before, and, somehow, one of them had managed to sneak off and set his alarm clock for an hour earlier. He seriously suspected Ino had done it when Choji had started cooking, and before she had started bugging him about the details of his mission with Naruto and the Uchiha. He had no idea how she had even found out, although he supposed it was the power of gossip. Never underestimate it.

So now, here he was, early. He placed his fingers together and went over the facts of the mission. The objective of the mission? Protect and gather information. They had to protect Kotone Shimizu, daughter of the Kage of the Yugakure, Takeshi Shimizu. She was seventeen, turning eighteen, a brunette, and female. That was about the extent of the information they had on her. Pitiful, and bothersome. Even if the Yugakure was a minor village that they didn't have much interest in, or contact with, they should know everything they could about them, just in case a situation like they were in now occurred. Now, they were at a disadvantage, and his intelligence couldn't gleam strategies from nonexistent facts. There was one more thing that he had learned in the folder that the Hokage had given him. He was going to act as Naruto's boyfriend for the duration of the mission. What was he supposed to do?

A faint rustling in front of him disturbed his chain of thought, and he opened his eyes, only to stare into a pair of wide, brilliant, sky blue eyes that were looking curiously at him. When had Naruto arrived? How had she managed to sneak up on him? And when had she gotten so good?

She was wearing the same clothes that she had been wearing the day before, and a black and orange bag with a red spiral was slung over her shoulder. The sun was just coming over the wall and highlighting her golden hair.

Naruto smiled at him widely, "Morning, Shika! I'm glad you're here before Sasuke."

"Good morning, Naruto," Shikamaru said, and then took in what she had actually said. "Why are you glad I'm here before the Uchiha?"

"Because, I have something for you, and I don't want Sasuke to see."

That was not the response he had been expecting. She had something for him? His mind ranged over the possibilities, from the reasonable to the absurd to the questionably perverse. Aloud, he asked, "What is it?"

She dug through one of her pockets for a second and then held out her hand. "This!" she said with a flourish.

In the middle of her palm, was a small, black, studded earring.

He picked it up between his index and thumb, and looked at it closely. It was a small half-sphere, shiny and black, and it seemed to have scratched all over its surface. Frowning, he channeled a small amount chakra to his eyes. They weren't scratches, or rather, they were, but they were purposeful. Characters and patterns on a micro level were scratched, silver lines showing through the black, creating a seal. "What is it?" he asked again, though with a different meaning.

Naruto bounced impatiently. "Put it on! Then you'll see," she said.

He didn't make a move to do to. "What is it going to do, Naruto?" He wasn't going to put on an earring, when he didn't know what it would do, until he was sure that it wouldn't fry his brain, or something equally troublesome.

With an annoyed outlet of breath, Naruto snatched the earring from his palm, and settled down onto her knees in front of him. "It's not going to hurt you. Jeez, who do you think you're talking to?" she grumbled. Then, she grabbed his chin softly and tilted his head to the side. He could feel her fingers, slightly calloused, but gentle against his skin, taking out one of his earrings, and putting the one she had given him in.

He shivered. Mind over matter, mind over matter, he chanted in his mind. Somehow, he had the idea that the person who came up with that hadn't been a teenaged boy with hormones who had just found out that one of his friends was really a girl. A hot girl. Mind over matter didn't exactly cover the situation.

Naruto leaned back and grinned at him. Then, there was a faint, almost unnoticeable buzzing in his ear. Great, maybe the thing really was going to blow his head off.

"_Isn't it cool, Shika_?" Naruto asked, but her lips didn't move at all, and it sounded like she was in his head almost.

He jerked his head around. What was happening? He didn't have a clue.

"_Don't freak out! Jeez, have a little faith in your future hokage. This is just something that I made. Focus on the earring._" Once again, the words were spoken in his head as Naruto's lips were clamped firmly shut.

Shikamaru did as she said, closing his eyes and focusing on the earring. There it was. There was a minuscule thread of chakra connecting it to Naruto. It didn't even seem to be tangible, but it was there.

"_See? Cool, isn't it?_" Naruto's voice came through again, and the thread vibrated rapidly in his minds eyes. "Try talking to me yourself. It's pretty easy. Just focus on the frequency."

"_Like this?_" he projected his thought.

"_Yep, just like that!_"

He opened his eyes. This was amazing. They were having a telepathic conversation. "_How?_" was the only question that seemed right to ask.

"Well," Naruto said, out loud this time, "I made it. I had gotten back from a mission, and Baa-chan wouldn't give me another one, insisting that I needed to rest, so I was really bored, and I had been watching T.V, and I got an idea. What if I could connect two people? I mean really connect them, so I started to experiment. It took a bunch of tries, but I finally got it to work! It works like a radio! The seals on the stud ground and gather the chakra, and transforms the chakra frequency from my stud, into a voice in your head. Cool, huh? It's pretty easy to use after a little bit of practice."

Shikamaru stared at her. It was amazing. The small stud had so much potential, if what Naruto was saying was true. And, judging from the fact that he had her voice in his head, it seemed true. As cliché as it sounded, the possibilities were endless. A squad would be able to each other without alerting the enemy from miles away, transmit information, and, well, anything. The amount of chakra used was so small that he doubted that Tsunade would notice it unless he told her what to look for. This could, no, definitely would, give Konoha a major advantage over the other villages.

"Naruto… This is brilliant," he said finally.

Naruto cocked her head to the side cutely and looked at him blankly, "Huh? What are you talking about? I was just bored and messing around."

She had no idea the impact this invention could have, did she? "You really are an idiot-savant."

She looked at him suspiciously, "That doesn't sound good."

He shrugged and smiled a little. "It's not a bad thing. Now, about this earring –" He was cut off abruptly by Naruto's hand over his mouth.

"Not now. Sasuke is coming," she said, taking her hand off his mouth.

He glared at her. "You could have just told me."

She scratched her head nervously, and said, grinning, "Oh, right. Sorry." She straightened up and held out her hand to him.

He shook his head and let her haul him up off the ground. It figured. She acted first and thought later, the opposite from him.

A few seconds later, Sasuke appeared, and eyed them. Only then did Shikamaru realize that Naruto was still holding his hands from pulling him up. Now that was interesting. Why exactly was the Uchiha glaring at him? It was something to think about.

"Are we ready to go?" Sasuke asked coldly, walking towards the gate without waiting for an answer.

"Oi! Teme! Wait up!" Naruto hollered after him, swinging her bag.

Shikamaru followed them, engrossed in his thoughts. Naruto simply didn't realize what she had created. It was so small, and looked like a regular piece of jewelry, so no enemy ninja would think about removing it when they captured another ninja. They were out of the village before he was out of his thoughts, and the village doors closed after them.

Sasuke let out a breath of relief. "Let's go," he grunted.

"What's with you?" Shikamaru asked, not caring as so much wondering why the Uchiha would be relieved to leave the village.

"Sakura," came the grunted reply.

Shikamaru nodded. That made sense, wanting to leave the village before Sakura came and said good-bye, the goodbye consisting of clinging to his arm and squealing, "Sasuke!" at ear shattering decibels. Suddenly, a small hand gripped his own, and he looked down to see Naruto smiling at him. Why was she holding his hand?

"I'm supposed to be your girlfriend. Kyuubi-chan told me that I should act like it," Naruto explained.

That made sense, and he suddenly felt a wave of amiability towards the demon.

There was a sudden flair of killer intent directed at him. Now, that didn't make sense. What was pissing the Uchiha off? He and Naruto holding hands? Well, whatever it was, he was fine with pissing him off.

Naruto's voice came through his mind, "_Sorry if the hand holding makes you uncomfortable. Just try and pretend I'm Ino or someone._"

He was feeling uncomfortably warm at the act of holding Naruto's hand, but it wasn't unpleasant, and he sure as hell didn't want to pretend she was Ino. That would just be disturbing. "_It's fine, Naruto. I do have a few more questions about the earring, though. First, why did you give it to me instead of the Uchiha? And can you tell me more about it?_" It was bugging him, just a little. Why him. The whole experience of talking, and being able to hear her clearly, and knowing that no one else could, was a little odd, too.

"_Well,_ "Naruto said, and he could hear the grin in her voice, "_A few reasons I guess. You have pierced ears, and Sasuke doesn't; and I thought you would appreciate it more. Oh, Sasuke will think something's up since I can't really stay quiet, but he won't be able to figure it out. It'll annoy him to death!_" She sounded ludicrously cheerful, and she was right.

Sasuke glanced back at the pair, an irritated frown on his face.

Shikamaru smiled. It was working already. Over the next few hours, he learned that the chakra thread between the two studs couldn't be disrupted, or at least not easily, by large bursts of chakra, that Naruto had inscribed the seals on the stud with a pin, since she had been bored to tears, and was working on a ramen recipe book, which didn't surprise him at all.

The travel to the Yugakure would take two full days of walking, if they pushed on all day, and they would arrive at the city walls on the morning of the third day. Now, sun was just beginning to set, and he was tired. They had walked all day, and, even though they had only covered a fraction of the distance they could have using their ninja skills, it was still tiring. He was tired, Naruto's stomach was growling loudly enough to scare off small game, and Sasuke was developing a twitch in his right eye and a permanent scowl from wondering why Naruto was so quiet.

A small clearing appeared to the side of them, and Naruto stopped, making Shikamaru stop, too, and making him realize that they were holding hands again. He quickly let go, and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Sasuke! Come on, I'm tired. Let's stop for the day," Naruto whined.

Sasuke stopped and glared at her. "We can go a little farther. There's still a bit of day light left," he said flatly.

Shikamaru sat down and leaned again a tree on the side of the clearing. He knew how this was going to end.

Naruto crossed her arms under her chest, unknowingly giving her breasts a upward thrust, and pouted. Intelligence or no, Shikamaru knew that he wouldn't be able to refuse whatever Naruto asked if he was Sasuke. "No! Teme, we've been walking all day! I'm not a ninja, or have you forgotten? I'm tired and hungry! Now, you can go on by yourself, or you can carry both me and Shika! Look at him! He's already almost asleep already! He's also incredibly lazy. He's probably put in more effort today than he puts in in a week! It might fry his big brain."

Shikamaru wasn't quite sure that he liked her logic, or how she thought of him, but if it got the Uchiha to stop, it was fine with him.

Sasuke glared down at her, looking as if part of his sanity had crumbled. "Fine," he growled, stomping off to the clearing.

Naruto grinned and gave Shikamaru an huge thumbs up.

He smiled lazily, and the two of them watched as Sasuke took out a scroll and summoned two sleeping bags, and pouches of food. His stomach growled in hunger, but it didn't cloud his mind. Two sleeping bags? Why were there only two of them? There were three people, and that called for three different sleeping bags. Unless the Uchiha was planning on staying up and keeping watch all night.

He wasn't the only one who saw the problem.

"Hey, Sasuke, what's up? Why are there only two bags?" Naruto asked, walking up to him.

Sasuke looked up from the fire he was starting. "You always forget everything, so I brought yours, Dobe."

"And you brought one for Shika, too?"

Sasuke shot Shikamaru a dismissive glance, "No, I did not. The other one is for me. He can sleep on the ground."

After several more minutes of arguing on Naruto's part, and "Hns" on Sasukes, Shikamaru finally stood up. He was flattered that Naruto was sticking up for him, and it was fun watching her yell at the Uchiha, but it wasn't working.

"Naruto, just give up. I can sleep on the ground. If you stop yelling at him, then he can get on with cooking the food," he said, placing a hand on Naruto's tense shoulder.

Naruto shot one last glare at the Uchiha and stuck out her tongue at him, "You are the worst ninja protector ever, Sasuke-teme."

After a very odd meal, in which even Naruto didn't ask for second helpings, and in which Shikamaru learned that cooking was not one of Sasuke's skills, the sun was gone, and, after taking a look around with his Sharingan, Sasuke had retired to his sleeping bag. The smug bastard.

Shikamaru leaned against the tree and closed his eyes. He was used to sleeping, well, practically everywhere he could, so sleeping like this was no problem, even if it was a touch cold and a bit bothersome. Like earlier in the day, he was alerted to Naruto's presence by a soft rustle.

The stars still gave off enough light to see faintly.

She dragged her sleeping bag next to him under the tree, unzipped it, and hopped in without a word. A few seconds later, she said, "Well, are you getting in?"

His brain stopped working and rebooted in .06 seconds. Had she just invited him into her sleeping bag? Yes, yes she had. Him, and her, in the same sleeping bag. Unbidden, explicit, Ich-Icha worthy images began to form in his mind.

"What are you talking about, Naruto?" he asked, happy that he managed to sound normal.

Her voice came out of the dark, "Even if you're super lazy, you're pretty nice, and you don't deserve to sleep on the hard ground. Anyway, we're both guys. Well, sort of. Not really anymore, but… Never mind! I'm tired; just get in."

Shikamaru waffled back and forth over the prospect for a moment, and then slid into the sleeping bag next to her. "Thanks."

"No problem."

He laid rigid and unmoving, until he felt Naruto's arm fall over his chest, and her body wriggled against his own before stilling.

His eyes widened. Now what was she doing? She wasn't… getting fresh with him, was she? Then he realized. Her breathing was deep and even. She was asleep. He relaxed slowly. What had he been thinking? Ah, well. Naruto's warm breath ghosted across his neck. He flushed, and then groaned quietly. He wasn't going to get much sleep tonight. How troublesome.

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Okay, here's the next chapter! Sorry that not much happens, but it's necessary to set things up for later. On another note, I found out that I'm on the favorites list of twenty and the alert list of forty one! Awesome! It's really cool to know so many people are reading my story. My chapters keep getting longer, too!

Ja ne,

_Rumer_

**Ice Cold Steel: **I will make your cheeks hurt more! Oh, wait, that sounds kind of odd... and improper or sadistic. What I mean is that I will try to make you smile when you read my story. Yep, that's what I meant. Okay moving on. Glad you like my description of her clothing. It's just enough to give you an idea. And, as for the little act that Naruto put on in the Hokage's office with Kakashi, you'll find out in the next chapter how she knows how to act like that. Promise. I think, at this point, even though she can act perverted and seduce Kakashi with her... Yeah... I think Naruto is still a little too innocent and oblivious to realize if she has those types of feelings for Shikamaru yet, and she's calling him Shika because of a mixture of the fact that Shikamaru is a mouthful, and she's grateful. Sorry if not much happens in this chapter, but I needed it to set things up for a few of the chapters down the road. Keep reading.

**Ranma-Sama: **Nice name. I love the ShikaFemNaru stories, too. Feel free to obsess over this story. Sorry it took me so long to update, but I hope you like it.

**Naarano: **Glad you like it, and thanks for paying attention to the grammar. It's important! I mean, not as important as the plot, but it still matters a lot to a story. Without proper grammar, you can't really get the full feeling of the story and the feel of it. Anyway, thank you for reviewing, and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

**KC: **Okay, thanks for reviewing on my story, and it's great that you like it. The mission is going to play a major part in this story, and no, Sasuke will, hopefully, not mess it up too much. His little emo-bastardness routine will mess things up for Naruto, at this point at least. He may make things a little difficult later, but I'm sure that Shikamaru's intelligence and Naruto's exuberant awesomeness will triumph. Keep reading!


	6. Annoying Attacks

**!*!*! PAY ATTENTION... LET OP... POORAMA TAHELEPANU !*!*!**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto. If I wrote Naruto, he probably would have cracked and attacked the village, eaten some people, too. Ahh, cannibalism. Right... Let's get on with the story.

* * *

Shikamaru was woken up rather rudely the next morning.

"What the hell are you doing?" a cold voice asked rudely.

Shikamaru opened his eyes and blinked blearily, trying to get his surroundings in order. Sasuke was standing over him, arms crossed, and glaring ferociously. Shikamaru glared back, albeit lazily. This was not the most pleasant way to wake up. He didn't answer and instead focused on whatever was pressing down on his shoulder.

It was Naruto. She was asleep, head resting on his shoulder, and, sometime during the night, his arm had wrapped around her. She nuzzled against him in her sleep. Now, this wouldn't actually be a bad way to wake up, if the Uchiha had been bugging someone else. Even though he knew that glares couldn't kill, the Uchiha's came as close as one could. Finally he answered Sasuke's question. "Well, I was sleeping before you woke me up, and now I seem to be laying here," he drawled.

"You know that's not what I mean, Nara," Sasuke gritted out, clenching his fists.

Naruto conveniently chose this time to wake up.

She snuggled in closer to Shikamaru, and then frowned, using her hand to pat and feel what she was laying on, as if she was trying to figure it out, and it happened to be Shikamaru. Naruto opened her eyes and blinked sleepily before finding herself nose-to-nose with Shikamaru. And, instead of the look of shock or yell that he had been expecting, she merely said, "Ah… Er, morning," in a slightly awkward voice, a faint dusting of pink spreading across her cheeks.

Then she sat up and stretched cutely, arching her back and stretching her arms over her head, giving each of the males a rather nice view. After stretching, she looked up at Sasuke, "What's up?"

"What's up? What's up? Dobe, why is Shikamaru in your sleeping bag?"

"Duh," Naruto said, as if it was obvious, which it was to her, "You wouldn't let Shika have your bag, so I let him in mine. It wasn't fair to let him sleep on the cold, hard ground."

The fact that the ground wasn't that bad, being covered by a layer of springy grass, and that it hadn't been that cold either sprang into Shikamaru's mind, but he kept quiet. It was amusing to watch Naruto be completely oblivious to the real source of the Uchiha's annoyance.

"I don't get why you're freaking out about, Teme. We're both g-guys, and when I become Hokage I'll need to be able to take care of the people in my village, so why not start now? Besides, I wouldn't have had to share a sleeping bag if you had given him yours," Naruto said in a completely matter of fact voice.

Shikamaru hid a grin under a yawn as he got up. Naruto had essentially, but without meaning to, blamed the whole situation on Sasuke. If only Sasuke knew that Naruto wasn't really a guy. Sasuke would probably be trying to stab Shikamaru with a few shuriken and then ram a Chidori through his chest. It was weird. Naruto, now, seemed to be one of the few people that the Uchiha cared about, which meant that he was very protective of Naruto and jealous of anyone who tried to come close.

Shikamaru looked at the Uchiha closely as Naruto told him to stop being a Teme and shoved the sleeping bag in his arms.

It could be possible that the Uchiha saw Naruto as more than just his best friend, but didn't he think that Naruto was a guy? That would mean that he was… Well, it was possible. As far as he knew, the Uchiha had never shown any interest in the members of his fan club. Shikamaru shuddered slightly. Fan girls were a scary race.

Naruto's face appeared in front of him and he switched his train of thought to the present. "I'm hungry… and I don't want to die of food poisoning, so that means that Sasuke can't cook breakfast," she said, and the unasked question hung in the air.

"You want me to cook breakfast? Why don't you?" She pouted, and groaned, "I'm so hungry that I can't function right now… Must have food… please…"

If her glazed eyes were any indication, she was telling the truth.

Shikamaru knew that having the Kyuubi in her made her have an extremely fast metabolism, and she had barely eaten the day before.

With a sigh, nodded his head once. "Troublesome…"

"Thank you!" she yelled, although at half her usual volume and then proceeded collapse onto the grass and close her eyes.

Lazily, he slouched towards the packs of food and fire that the Uchiha had set up. Fifteen minutes later, Shikamaru raised his head from plates of food he had just set out, and called, "Food's done."

In a flash, Naruto was next to him. "Thank you!" she said, grabbing a plate and taking a bite. He watched as her face went from a cheerful, if slightly ravenous, smile, to a thoughtful look, to an expression of horror.

Shikamaru flushed slightly as Sasuke smirked. Being a genius with the highest I.Q in the village did not translate into good cooking skills.

Naruto clapped him on the shoulder, and said solemnly, "Thank you for trying."

That alone told him how bad the food was. To his surprise, over the next minute, she ate all of the food he cooked and put on her plate, and had a second helping, much to his surprise, and Sasuke's obvious annoyance. For some reason, it felt as though he and the Uchiha were fighting. But over what? He had an idea, but didn't want to think about it. It was too troublesome.

A few minutes later, everything was packed up, and they were walking again, Sasuke in front, and Naruto and Shikamaru behind him, walking closely.

Using the earring that Naruto had given him the day before, which was actually surprisingly easy, Shikamaru asked, "_Naruto, can I ask you something?_"

"_Sure_."

It was something that had been bothering him since they had been in the Hokage's office. "_When you were… interacting with Kakashi… Where did you learn to act like that?_"

Naruto burst out into laughter aloud, and Sasuke glanced back at them suspiciously.

"_Oh… Well, about that. Well, while I was learning how to be a ninja when everyone I was a boy, Kyuubi-chan thought that I should learn what a kunoichi should learn, too. How to seduce and flower arranging and stuff like that, for when I finally told people the truth, you know? I learned from her in my mindscape while by body slept. She's actually a good teacher_." Her face went blank for a moment, and then she shook her head like a dog, expression annoyed. "_She's got a huge ego_."

Shikamaru smiled and nodded. He hadn't exactly expected that. So the Kyuubi taught her? She taught her well. He had gained another interesting fact as well. Naruto could talk to the Kyuubi in her mindscape while she was sleeping. That meant that she could learn and practice anything, as long as it wasn't physical.

Naruto's voice, slightly nervous added, _"And… I may have learned some things from ero-sennin when I was traveling with him. He made me proof read Icha-Icha. I can never get those images out of my head now. I had to help him with his research, and write some parts of the books._" She shuddered.

He stared at her, and tried to piece together what he was hearing. Naruto had written part of Icha-Icha, which meant that he had read what she had written. It was probably the latest volume. His mind went back over it, and his eyes widened. Naruto had written that? Wow. The next question was whether she had actually done any of what she had written. He tried to squash the steamy images that were swirling around his brain with less than moderate success. That settled it. Intelligence was clearly no match against hormones.

What happened next, though, was enough to force it from his thoughts. Four unknown chakra signatures flared to life as their owners burst from the forest on either side of the path the trio was traveling.

They were dressed in standard ninja outfits, black, facemasks, also black, with the only odd thing being their shoes. Instead of a regular shinobi sandal, they looked like rubbery boots.

He started to slide into a defensive posture, ready to fight, but stopped. Naruto hadn't moved at all, and then he realized why. They were supposed to be civilians. They couldn't fight at all, in fact, they should probably do some cowering. Naruto was doing exactly what the mission asked for, and in doing so, leaving herself wide open to attack. Shikamaru relaxed his stance. This meant that their lives were being protected by the Uchiha. Their lives were in his hands, and Naruto was trusting him. Shikamaru had no choice to do that same.

He shot a quick glance at Naruto; her body posture, arms tucked in, shaking, made her looked frightened, but her eyes, while wide, were excited, not scared.

Sasuke lunged forward, kunai grasped tightly in his hand, and moved swiftly, sidestepping one of the ninjas and appearing behind him. The deadly edge of the kunai slid across the unknown ninja's throat, scarlet sprayed into the air, and he collapsed, limp, onto the ground.

Shikamaru tensed as he studied the unknown ninja; they didn't wear any headbands, and their movements were surprisingly smooth and quick.

Sasuke dodged under the enemy ninja's kick and, with a flip of his wrist, the kunai lodged up to the hilt in his chest.

Then, the third ninja changed direction suddenly, leaving his companion to keep Sasuke busy, and raced, footsteps kicking up dust, in Shikamaru and Naruto's direction.

Instinctively, Shikamaru moved in Naruto's direction, to protect her, but a single glance from her stopped him. Her eyes were calm.

"_Don't move_," she said through their link.

The enemy ninja was right in front of Naruto. Shikamaru could feel fear welling up inside him, fear for Naruto. His heart was thumping loudly in his chest, and the next moment almost happened in slow motion.

The ninja brought down the tanto knife in his hand in a smooth arc, blade glinting. Then, the shinobi's eyes bugged out, dimmed, and he toppled forwards at Naruto's feet, a large hole in his back. Sasuke stood over his corpse. But Shikamaru could see droplets of blood splattering onto the ground in front of Naruto, and the blood didn't belong to the attacker.

His heart gave a painful lurch. This wasn't just troublesome, it was worrisome.

* * *

Yeash, sorry this chapter took so long to post. The chapter I actually wrote got really long, so I had to split it into two. So, read this one, and the next chapter will be up shortly. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.

Ja ne,

_Rumer_

**Ice Cold Steel: **Okay, I think I fixed the little details that you pointed out. Thanks for that. I'm glad that the last chapter made you smile, and freak your brother out. Freaking out siblings is always a bonus in my eyes. Almost all guys are affected by hot girls, and Shikamaru is included. About the earring, I think it's kind of cool. It was an idea that was bouncing around my head for a little and it made sense to me. And of course Naruto wouldn't realize what she had created. It's Naruto; enough said. So, I impressed you with the idea, huh? *wriggles eyebrows* Anyway, I think Sasuke is both jealous and overprotective, and it's probably going to get worse. Hope you liked this chapter, Ice.

**Naarano: **I put the telepathic conversation in italics like you asked. Is it easier to read and understand now? I can kind of understand how it would be confusing to tell what was aloud or what was in their heads.

**fanficreader71: **Glad you liked the last chapter. Hope you like this one.

**blucross: **That was a nice review. I appreciate it.

**Ranma-sama: **I highly doubt Naruto is observant enough to understand that both Shikamaru and Sasuke might be interested in her. As for the triangle. If I have my way, it's going to turn into a square, or an octagon or something extremely confusing and hilariously disturbing. Chakra radio earrings are awesome, and, I agree. Naruto does fit well being an idiot savant. Glad you like the story.

**InARealPickle: **Thanks. And I have no idea how Tsunade would act sober. The idea of a sake-less Tsunade is just weird.

**Tray125: **Glad you think my story is awesome. I happen to agree with you, but it's always nice to know other people like it. I will try to keep up the god work!

**SweetHunniiBunnii: **Shikamaru and Naruto are kind of good together, right? I hope you like this chapter, and though I kind of hate to admit it, your username is really cute. I can't believe I wrote that.

**Chibi Tsuki Hikari: **I freaking love you! I don't know why I don't have more reviews, but I appreciate each one that I get. Overall, I don't think ShikaNaru pairing is that popular. It's all Sasuke and Naruto. Sigh... Anyway, I really liked your review. It was funny and energetic. And, yes, I try to make everyone in character. Thanks for the review and I hope you continue reading.

**schnookums: **Well, I'm not completely sure whether you were asking me to finish the story or the next chapter by tomorrow, but here's the next chapter. The next one will be up soon, too. My writing is good and the plot is great? I think my ego is growing. And you added me to your favs? Nice. Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and thank you for reviewing. It seems like everyone thinks I have the characters, well, in character.


	7. Disturbing Discoveries

**!*!*! PAY ATTENTION... MAGBAYAD PANSIN... KIINNITA HUOMIOTA !*!*!**

**Disclaimer: **Naruto doesn't belong to me, damn it. This fact is rendered obvious by the fact that I'm not obscenely rich, and the fact that Ino, who is clearly better than Sakura in all ways possible, didn't get a bigger part.**  
**

* * *

Despite the blood on the ground, she was still standing, which was a good sign, but then he got to the front of her.

Her orange shirt was sliced straight down her chest, and a scarlet line stood out shockingly, and horrifyingly, against her tanned skin, blood dripping downwards.

"Naruto," he choked out. The wound wasn't just a scratch.

The Uchiha was paler than usual and his eyes were wide.

Naruto, on the other hand, was… frowning? "That… hurts!" she yelled, dancing from foot to foot. "Shit! Ow, ow, ow!"

Sasuke and Shikamaru exchanged glances. Shikamaru was pretty sure that if you're mortally, or even badly injured, you didn't dance around yelling. He had read something that said that when children were injured, you needed to worry when they were quiet and still. If they were yelling, then they were fine. Using that information as a basis, he decided that, somehow, Naruto was probably okay.

Finally, Naruto calmed down and looked down at her wound. "Dammit! I really liked this shirt!"

Shikamaru stared at her. That was all that she had to say? There was a six inch bloody gash on her upper body.

She looked up from her ruined shirt and bloody body to Sasuke. "Another second and I might have been really hurt. You're getting lazy, Teme," she said, punching his shoulder, albeit harder than usual. Sasuke managed an "Hn" but Shikamaru could see that he was a little rattled and worried, and, was that… shame? Naruto really did seem to be the only person the Uchiha cared about.

Next, Naruto turned to Shikamaru. "Give me your vest," she said, gesturing with her hand.

That was one of the last things that he expected her to say. "What?"

"Your vest. I need it. Look at my shirt. I can't wear this," she said, acting as though she hadn't just been attacked.

Shikamaru looked at her shirt; it was being held together by only a thin strip of fabric. A faint gust of wind fluttered the pieces of cloth covering her from being completely nude on the top, and he was tempted to wait for a bigger gust of wind. He shook his head. There was nothing sexy about the situation, well, except for the fact that Naruto was very close to being shirtless.

"Why his clothing?" Sasuke asked.

"Because, he's closer to my size, well, at least a little, and you aren't wearing a vest. If I took your shirt, you'd be walking around shirtless, and then we'd be mobbed by fan girls or something. Shikamaru still has a shirt under his vest," Naruto explained.

Shikamaru nodded and took off the small vest he had been wearing. Since he was supposed to be a civilian, he didn't have his normal flak jacket, but instead a dark green, thin, vest with a single wooden button. "We should bandage your wound first, Naruto," he said, holding the vest back at the last moment.

She didn't even spare a glance at it, "Huh? Oh, right. I suppose."

Was it natural to be this unconcerned about wounds?

"One of you will have to bandage me," Naruto said innocently, having no idea the effect that her words created. The cut started at the dip between her breasts, and if it needed to be bandaged…

Sasuke had bandages out before Shikamaru could blink.

Emo-bastard.

Naruto frowned, "Now, how am I going to manage this."

Shikamaru could see her problem. She had to take off the shirt to let Sasuke bandage her, and she was completely naked under the shirt, so they would see it all. Finally, she slipped her hands under her shirt, hands cupping her breasts, and said, "Okay. Shika, you bandage me, and, Sasuke, you cut my shirt off the rest of the way, okay?"

Shikamaru didn't need to be told twice. He grabbed the bandages from the Uchiha and waited as Sasuke took his kunai and slit the strip of fabric keeping the mangled shirt around Naruto's neck. It slid off of her and fluttered down to the ground.

Now, Naruto was standing before him, dressed only in a pair of low hanging pants, cupped hands covering part of her full breasts, dipping in to a tiny waist, and showing a large amount of unblemished tan skin, besides the giant bloody slice, of course.

He made a mental note to thank the Hokage for forcing him on the mission. He could feel the Uchiha glaring daggers at him, and started bandaging Naruto. The cut had already stopped bleeding, which was odd, considering how deep it was. He supposed that it had something to do with the Kyuubi. After all, he knew that Naruto healed far faster than the normal rate. His fingers skimmed over her skin, which was even softer than it looked, and he knew that they lingered slightly longer than was necessary. Only too soon, she was bandaged, and he could only hope that she didn't see the flush staining his cheeks. He could still feel the Uchiha burning holes into his head.

"Okay, now, both of you turn around so I can but on the vest," Naruto ordered.

The two teenaged boys obeyed.

Naruto's hand snaked around Shikamaru and grabbed the vest from his slack hand. Something warm and soft pressed into his back momentarily, and he tried not to think about what they had been.

Now was one of the times when he wished he were a Hyuuga. If he was, he would have Byakugan, three hundred and sixty degree vision. That would come in extremely handy right about now, although he was pretty sure that the Hyuuga wouldn't condone their bloodline being used for that sort of thing.

Naruto's voice interrupted his less than pure thoughts. "Okay, you can turn around now."

And they did. Naruto was wearing Shikamaru's vest, and he had to admit that it looked better on her, with a deep V-neck and very little fabric. The only think keeping the vest closed was a single button. Shikamaru never realized how much he disliked buttons until that moment.

Then, Naruto brought up something that he should have noticed. "Hey, weren't there four ninjas that attacked us?" Naruto asked, pointing at the three bodies on the ground.

Sasuke nodded, but, oddly, didn't add anything further.

"You let the other guy go so that you could save me, didn't you?" Naruto exclaimed, grinning broadly at Sasuke. She got no reply. "Aww, I knew you had a heart, Teme."

Shikamaru almost laughed at the cold and annoyed expression on the raven's face, and knelt down next to one of the bodies of the dead shinobi's. He ripped off on of their masks and looked into the face of a man who looked a little older than them, with short brown hair and rough features. Then, he patted down the body. There was nothing distinctive about the ninja at all, except for the shoes, which he examined closely. They were lightweight rubber of some sort, closely fitting, with almost duck shaped soles, and definitely waterproof. They looked like rain boots.

Shikamaru straightened up and shoved his hands in his pockets. Rain boots. The Yugakure was in the land of hot water. Hot water. Water. The specialized shoes would fit, but that would mean that the Yugakure had ordered their deaths. Why? Or did this actually make sense. The Kage said that he couldn't trust the people in his own government. Either the Kage, or someone from his village, had ordered the attack on them, and it could be for various reasons. If by the enemy, and not the Kage, supposing that the enemy wasn't the Kage, it could simply be to see if they were what they claimed, two civilians and a ninja. Or, it could be to kill them to keep them from reaching the Yugakure. Either way, they needed to be alert for more danger.

After Sasuke sealed the bodies into a scroll, the three continued on their trek to the Yugakure.

Shikamaru continued to think about the situation, while keeping half an eye on Naruto. He was worried about the knucklehead, even if her wounds weren't bleeding through the bandages. Something felt wrong. It didn't make sense how little she cared about the wounds.

The day went by without any other attacks on them, and night fell just as easily.

They stopped for the night, and the first thing that the Uchiha did was plant himself in front of Shikamaru.

"Yes, Uchiha?" he asked lazily, eyelids drooping. Something was shoved into his arms. It was a sleeping bag.

"You can use this one," Sasuke said coldly.

For some reason, Shikamaru got the feeling that he wasn't offering just to be nice.

He tried to hand it back. "Why so nice, Uchiha? Thanks, but no thanks. I'm sure than Naruto wouldn't mind sharing with me again," he said. It was fun to irk him.

Sasuke clenched his teeth, and Shikamaru could hear them grinding together. "Well, now you won't need to share," he spat, and swirled around and making a beeline to Naruto, who was kneeling by the fire.

He sighed. Well, he had a sleeping bag now, and he didn't particularly want it. He could only hope that Sasuke wasn't planning on sharing a sleeping bag with Naruto. Groaning, he plopped down next to Naruto, who was cooking, and closed his eyes. Several minutes later, he was poked awake.

"Hey, Shika, if you don't get up, I'm eating your food." He cracked open his eyes to see Naruto holding out a bowl to him, and his stomach gave an unpleasant flop. The food over the past two meals had been lacking to say the least. It looked like beef stew, normal beef stew, but he was weary. He tried a spoonful. "It's good," he said.

Naruto poked him with a spoon, again, grumbling, "Jeez, do you really need to sound so surprised?"

He was about to ask where she had learned to cook, but stopped. Of course she knew how to cook. Although he knew that she loved ramen like nothing else in the universe, and probably ate it more than anyone, but a person couldn't live on ramen alone. She had no parents or caretakers growing up; she had been on her own and had had to take care of herself. That included cooking. His mind wandered off to how nice it would be to have Naruto cooking for him. He usually ate out, since it was too troublesome to cook himself. He was snapped back into reality by the offer of second helpings.

After the meal was cleaned up, Naruto settled down into her sleeping bag; Sasuke was brooding, hands together, head bowed, but Shikamaru knew that he was paying close attention to the surroundings in case someone was out there.

"Good night, Sasuke. 'Night, Shika," Naruto said, voice blurred with sleep.

"Good night, Naruto," both males responded, and then glared at each other for good measure.

Shikamaru lay in his sleeping bag, and stared at the stars, which, although they weren't as calming and informative to look at as clouds, still helped him think. He stayed that way for hours, thinking about the possibilities, until his eyes finally drifted shut.

The next morning came quickly. Shikamaru grunted and woke up abruptly as something hard came in contact with his leg.

"Wake up. We need to get moving," Sasuke said, and then turned away.

"Troublesome ass," Shikamaru muttered, and by the stiffening of Sasuke's back, he was pretty sure the other guy heard him. Slouching, Shikamaru rose up out of his sleeping bag, leaving it for Sasuke to pack away, and stood over the other lump of a sleeping bag on the ground. Apparently, Sasuke hadn't bothered to kick Naruto awake.

He squatted down and looked at the mass of fabric. "Hey, Naruto, get up."

The lump gave no sign of getting up and only wriggled. He tugged the fabric back and a bleary eyed Naruto glared at him sleepily. Her hair was spread out behind her, and she was pouting.

He tried to focus. It was too early in the morning to think about how she looked.

"Do I have to?" she asked.

He nodded shortly.

"Fiiiine," she yawned, and scrambled to her feel. "Okay, we should probably change your bandages and then get going," he said, refusing to acknowledge the thought of Naruto taking over her vest as the main reason for changing her bandages.

"Don't bother," Naruto said, lifting up the edge of the vest, and grabbing the end of the bandage and yanking on it. The bandage fell away, and revealed smooth skin. The only trace that anything had been wrong was a faint pink line on her tanned skin that seemed to be vanishing before his eyes. "Yep, all good. I'm ready to go!" she said, pumping her fist in the air.

Shikamaru shook his head. Thinking about it was just odd. No one should be able to heal that fast. And, even if Shikamaru knew about the demon within her, it still took a little to wrap his mind around it. How did her cells regenerate so quickly?

Sasuke packed away the sleeping bag, and, after a quick meal of protein bars, they set off.

"We should get there shortly," Sasuke grunted, after they had been walking for a little.

The scenery had changed. In and around Konoha, the ground was solid and covered with green grass, the trees tall and leafy. Now, the trees were more gnarled and bent with graceful drooping branches. Moss covered the ground and the bark of some of the trees. Pools of steaming water dotted the landscape.

No one spoke. They were all tense.

Then, they turned the corner, and came face to face with their final destination. The tall, dark stonewalls, with patches of bright green moss, of the Yugakure stood high in front of them. A mote of steaming hot water surrounded it completely.

Shikamaru stared at the huge wooden gate in front of them. They had no idea what was on the other side. Shikamaru sighed and shoved his hands deeper into his pockets. There was no doubt about it… This was going to be troublesome.

* * *

This is great! I have forty reviews, (thank you everyone); I'm on the favorites lists of forty people and the alerts of seventy seven, and three C2s. I must say, I didn't expect this story to be this popular, but I'm happy about it. So, I hope all of you reading enjoyed this chapter.

Ja ne,

_Rumer_

**Chibi Tsuki Hikari: **^_^ Sorry about the cliffhanger, but the chapter got too long, so I had to split it in half. I know what you mean, there should be a whole lot more ShikaNaru fanfictions. Well, I'm glad you liked the last chapter, and I hope you enjoy this one.

**Naarano: **You're welcome for the italics. And, yes, Sasuke will find out that Naruto is a girl, but that won't happen for a while, and I'm not sure if Sasuke is falling in love with Naruto in a romantic fashion. He could just be a possessive bastard. Here's the next update for you.

**schnookums: **It's kind of a relief that you like the fight scene. I watch a lot of action movies and stuff like that, but I haven't written many fight scenes, even if this was more like a one sided skirmish. Now, you don't have to worry about how bad her wound was. It was nasty, but she's fine. I'll keep writing so you can keep reading.

**narachan: **I know, cliffhangers are evil, and I hate it when people put them on their stories, but, as it turns out, they're really fun to write. Sorry about that. Tell me what you think of this chapter, yeah?

**Ice Cold Steel: **Yes, I did mean bad instead of had. Yes, that thing should have been italicized. And, yes, Sasuke is a little off in this chapter, but I really don't want him to be a complete asshole. He's still an emo bastard, but he might have a heart. Maybe. It's questionable. I think that Shikamaru would probably be too lazy to cook or learn how. Choji probably fed him or something. Yes, the attackers were ninjas. As for the thing about Shikamaru running to Naruto... yeah. I think I fixed it after I read your review. Finally, yes, all of my titles are going to be like that. I believe it's called alliteration. I rather like it. Sorry about the mistakes in the chapter. Anyway, as always, I really appreciate and enjoy your reviews. Thanks.

**fanficreader71: **It's nice that you liked the last chapter. I hope you enjoyed this one as well.

**SweetHunniiBunnii: **Ah! Did I make you worry about Naruto? Hope not. I couldn't mortally injure one of my main characters this early in the story! That would be just cruel. I'll seriously maim them later. Just joking... maybe. So, Hunnii, here was your update? Was it okay?

**Lenbug: **Dude... I never thought about it like that, but I have never written yaoi, not that I have anything against it. So, just to be clear. This is definitely not yaoi. Understood? Naruto is a girl... now.


	8. The Exasperating Entrance

**!*!*! PAY ATTENTION... ATENCION... ACHTUNG !*!*!**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto. This is clearly obvious by the fact that no one spanked Sasuke until all of the emo-bastardness when he was younger and that no one ever bitch-slapped him. We all know he deserves it.**  
**

* * *

Before they had a chance to do anything, the gate, which closely resembled a drawbridge, came down and two figures stepped out. They were dressed in dark slate blue outfits, pants bound with bandages right below the knee, flak jackets that hooked over one shoulder diagonally, and both of them wore black facemasks. Their headbands gleaming with the Yugakure symbol. They looked identical, except for the top portions of their faces and their height.

The taller one, with dark hair, slicked back with a single long bang handing forward, bowed. "We have been expecting you, and welcome you to our village. Please follow us," he said, voice polite and courteous.

Naruto turned to Sasuke, and smiled at him. "Okay, Sasuke. I'll see you in a few weeks."

Shikamaru watched closely. He had been wondering how the Uchiha would react at this point. According to the mission, Sasuke was only there to escort them to the Yugakure, and that was all. For some reason, most likely his high level of I.Q, although it could have just been common sense, he had the feeling that the Uchiha wouldn't just want to leave.

Sasuke looked down at Naruto, his expression stony, "I will come with you."

Naruto rolled her eyes, "No, you won't, Teme. The Hokage said that you were to accompany us here, and then go back, leaving us with the people of the Yugakure completely as a sign of… oh, yeah! Good faith!"

The two Yugakure ninja exchanged confused glances.

Maybe they weren't used to civilians arguing with homicidal looking ninjas. Shikamaru sighed, and said to them, "Don't even try to understand." They hesitated and then nodded, going back to watching Sasuke and Naruto.

Sasuke was currently glaring down at Naruto with the famous Uchiha glare. "Well, the Hokage is not always correct in her assessments," Sasuke said.

He started to say something else, but Naruto cut him off. "Don't even think about going against the orders of the mission, Teme. Now, be a good ninja, and go back. I can take care of myself!" she declared loudly, and with a stubborn expression.

Sasuke's eye twitched, and his lips thinned, but he finally looked away from Naruto's bright blue eyes. "Fine. Just take care of yourself, Dobe," he said.

Naruto puffed out her cheeks cutely, and then, to everyone's surprise, hugged Sasuke, wrapping her arms around his waist.

Sasuke stiffened, and he glared down at the blonde attached to his waist. Shikamaru swore he could see a hint of pink on the other man's cheeks, though. "Naruto, get off!" he growled.

Naruto let go and sheepishly scratched her head. "Sorry, I forgot bastards don't like to be hugged," she said cheekily.

"If you ever hug me again, I will… destroy all of the ramen in Konoha," he hissed.

Naruto went pale, "You bastard! Why don't you just kill me?"

Shikamaru sweatdropped at the conversation between the two. This just wasn't normal, although he wondered if anything to do with Naruto was normal. Probably not.

Sasuke stalked away from Naruto to the two ninja. "If you two allow anything to happen to Naruto, I will use my Mangekyo Sharingan on you, and then, if you're still alive after that, I will disembowel you and set your organs on fire," he said fiercely, flashing his Sharingan, eyes scarlet and black. Then, before they could respond, he turned to Shikamaru, and growled three words, "Don't try anything."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. He assumed that the Uchiha was talking about Naruto, and, frankly, he had never listened to his advice before and didn't intend to start now. He just slouched his shoulders and gave Sasuke a bored, "Troublesome…"

Sasuke turned smoothly on his heel and strode smoothly away, towards Konoha.

"Bye, Teme! I'll see you soon!" Naruto yelled after him, waving furiously, even though Sasuke wasn't looking.

The Uchiha gave a small half wave in response, not even looking back. Then, he put on a burst of speed and disappeared, leaving one smiling idiot, one bored genius, and two semi-freaked out shinobi.

Naruto turned back to Shikamaru as if nothing disturbing had happened, "Are you ready, Shika?"

He nodded, thinking about what had just happened even if Naruto wasn't. It was obvious that the Uchiha cared about Naruto, even if he didn't want to show it. Shikamaru supposed that it was a good thing; it kept the Uchiha from being a complete cold bastard, just mostly one.

Naruto bounded up to the two Shinobi's, her assets bouncing noticeably with each step, and said, "I'm really sorry about the Teme. He isn't really a people person, but he didn't need to threaten you! You guys will keep me safe, right?" She had her head tilted cutely, and hey eyes wide.

The shorter of the two ninja, who had bright red, gravity defying hair that would have almost rivaled Kakashi's, stepped in front of his partner, and grabbed Naruto's hands. "I will totally protect you. Every inch of you," he said, making a confused Naruto blush and his partner roll his eyes.

"Hands off of her, Kazuo. She's got a boyfriend," he said, jerking his head in Shikamaru's direction.

Shikamaru stepped forward and wrapped his arm around Naruto's waist, pulling her hands out of Kazuo's, trying to ignore how smooth Naruto's skin was.

Kazuo merely glanced at Shikamaru and then to his partner, and then to Naruto, who looked adorably confused and a little flustered. "Not for long, Hisoka, not for long," he said with a confident grin and a wink at Naruto.

Shikamaru knew what he, Kazuo, was thinking. Usually, the shinobi boys and men were more popular to the female population because of the mystery and, well, aura of coolness that surrounded them, with the exception of Gai. Even if it didn't make sense in the least to Shikamaru, he knew it was true, and, since Kazuo thought that he wasn't a ninja, he thought he had a better chance. There was only one problem with Kazuo's thinking. Shikamaru was a ninja; Naruto wasn't his girlfriend, and there was no way in hell that he was letting a Kakashi-in-training get close to Naruto.

Hisoka just shook his head again and gestured to the entrance of the Yugakure. "I apologize for my partner's behavior. Please follow us."

Shikamaru steered Naruto past the two ninja into the Yugakure. The moment they stepped through the gateway, a tingle ran up Shikamaru's body. He knew what it was. The seal that disillusioned any henge that came past it. The gate rose immediately behind them, shutting with a firm and final slam, and sealing them off from any assistance from their own people.

A faint buzzing filled his ears, and then Naruto's voice came over through his earring. "_Why was Kazuo acting like that? Was he flirting with me?_" she asked.

Shikamaru stumbled slightly, almost falling over. How could Naruto act like how she did with Kakashi and then not understand when a guy was basically telling her he wanted to see her naked and be her boyfriend? She was so innocent. He answered her, "_Yes, Naruto, he was._"

Before she got a chance to continue, Hisoka said, "We will take you straight to the Kage and to Koto- I mean, the Kage's daughter. Please, ask me if you have any questions in the meantime."

Well, that was interesting. He had started to call her Kotone. That meant that he probably was closer to her than a normal Shinobi would be, and then he had quickly tried to change it. Maybe he wasn't supposed to? Or he didn't want people to know? More things to think about.

"Okay, thank you!" Naruto chirped in response to Hisoka's offer. "Ooh, ramen! This is going to be awesome!"

Shikamaru grabbed her hand before she could run off to the ramen stand. "Not now, Naruto," he ordered, and, when Naruto pouted, added, "Troublesome."

"I could take you out to eat ramen, if you want," Kazuo said, grinning when Naruto beamed at him.

Shikamaru leveled a glare at him, but then shook his head. Kazuo didn't even have any idea what he was offering. Naruto could eat five or ten bowls of ramen easily, and empty a wallet in a matter of minutes. No, he needed to focus, and not on how much he wanted to brain the Yugakure ninja.

He took stock of the surroundings. The streets resembled Konoha's, with shops ranging from restaurants to clothes stores to markets to weapons stores. The ground, expect for the center of the street, was covered with thick green grass, and the air was moist. Men, women, and children looked at them curiously as they passed.

Shikamaru couldn't help notice that several of the men were gazing at Naruto with less that completely honest intentions. He groaned inwardly. He could just tell that this trip was going to be bothersome.

The street widened, and a large building sat right in front of them. It was large, made out of dark stone like the walls of the Yugakure and what looked like petrified wood. Large glass windows covered the walls. Shikamaru guessed that the light from the windows counteracted the darkness of the place. It was impressive and rather imposing.

Naruto and Shikamaru walked, or rather, were herded into the building and through it's halls. People stopped what they were doing and looked at them curiously, but here, unlike on the streets, it was more than idle curiosity. The ninja were sizing them up and compiling any facts they could about the two.

Hisoka knocked on a large double door, with two large bright white hangings with the symbol of the Yugakure, three thick, slanted black lines, and Hisoka said, "The two civilians from Konoha are here to see you."

There was a second of silence, and then a gravely, quite male, voice answered, "Send them in."

The doors opened inwards and Naruto and Shikamaru were ushered through yet another doorway. The doors shut quietly behind them.

Sitting behind a large desk of petrified wood, worn smooth by hundreds of items rubbing against its surface over time, was a man. He looked to be in his mid-forties, with dark brown hair streaked with grey pulled into a ponytail at the nape of his neck, the beginning of a beard that looked like he had forgotten to shave in a few days, and strong, sharp bone structure. The man, who Shikamaru guessed was the Kage, Takeshi Shimizu, judging by the fact he was the one sitting behind the desk, and even if he didn't look like what most people would expect a leader to look like, looked a bit like Asuma, only with less beard.

Takeshi's eyes took in their appearance, and when his eyes met Shikamaru's, he held his gaze steadily through half closed eyes.

Naruto, on the other hand, decided to greet Takeshi in her usual unconventional manner. She stared at him wide eyed, before exclaiming, "Wow. You look like a bum, but not one of the bad bums. A good one, you know, one of the one's that go around doing odd jobs. Huh, Baa-chan doesn't really look like a Hokage either… Never mind. My name is Naruto Uzumaki! Nice to meet you!"

Shikamaru's watched as Takeshi stared at Naruto, before his lips quirked into a smile. "Yes, Tsunade told me about you. Except I am quite sure that she told me you were a boy; you seem to be a girl now…" Takeshi said.

Naruto gave him a huge thumbs up complete with a grin, "I look good, right?"

Naruto had managed not to answer or clarify anything at all. Shikamaru smiled and interrupted before the conversation became any odder or more off topic. "My name is Shikamaru Nara, and we have been asked by the hokage to protect your daughter, I suppose." He sighed, and he looked around the room halfheartedly. "Where is she?"

He saw the skeptical glance that Takeshi shot him, and he knew what he was thinking. Truly, he didn't look or act like a ninja, but, really, that was bothersome and way too much trouble.

Apparently Naruto knew what he was thinking too, and hastened to assure Takeshi, saying, "Shika's a brilliant ninja. He's a genius actually, but he's really lazy."

Well, it wasn't quite an assurance, but it felt nice having Naruto say he was a brilliant ninja.

Takeshi smiled at them, accepting, and said, "Sit down, sit down. I am glad that you two have come. I trust Tsunade, and I so I trust you two, I suppose." He turned his head and called in a loud baritone, "Kotone, come in here!"

A side door opened and a young woman stepped through. She had long dark brown hair, obviously inherited from her father, fair skin, large brown eyes, and wearing a long, sleeveless, pale green dress with a white sash.

She was pretty, Shikamaru noticed. She could even be called beautiful, but it was a quiet type of beauty.

"This is my daughter," Takeshi said proudly.

Kotone bowed before smiling at Shikamaru and Naruto. "It's nice to meet you," she said politely.

Before anyone could move, a blond blur shot across the room, and Naruto hugged Kotone warmly. "Aw, don't be so formal, Kotone-chan! We're supposed to be friends!" she said, giggling as Kotone blushed bright pink.

Takeshi was just staring at the two girls, and Shikamaru sighed. Naruto certainly worked differently than other people.

Takeshi shook his head, hiding a smile, and then the smile fell away from his face, and he said, voice serious, "Now that you've met my daughter, I will fill you in on everything that's happened and why I asked Tsunade to send you both here…"

Shikamaru turned his full attention, or as much as he could, on the Kage, trying to ignore Naruto, who was still hugging Kotone. It was as distracting as it had been when Naruto had been hugging Hinata. It was getting to be a little bit troublesome. Almost everything Naruto did seemed to be distracting him. Shikamaru shook his head. It was time to focus, because, no matter if it was tiresome or troublesome, the mission really started now.

* * *

Sorry that this chapter took so long, but I've been busy, and, unfortunately, that means less time for writing this. However, I'm already starting the next chapter. I hope you guys like this one. I was wondering something, though. How many of you think that this story should have a lemon or a lime?

Ja ne,

_Rumer_

**Naarano: **Glad you liked the chapter. Yeah, I thought it was kind of cool that Naruto did that. The complete opposite reaction than the one she should have had. Sorry this chapter took so long. Things keep coming up. Anyway, hope you like this chapter.

**ErikArden: **Seriously? I had no idea, but thank you for telling me about that. I don't really know what to call him then, if he's not a Kage. So, I will think about a title for him, and, in the meantime, forgive me if I continue calling him a kage. And, what should I call it if I don't call it Yugakure?

**InARealPickle: **Ah, what a nice review. Short and sweet. ;)

**Tachi Kagahara: **Here's the next update for you. About the lemon... I have nothing against lemons when they're done right, that's not why I am hesitant to give you a concrete answer. It's just that I have never written a lemon before, and I would like to keep this story rated T. I do plan on there being some... hanky-panky... Man, that's a weird word. But, I don't know about a lemon, but definitely a lime. I'm just not quite sure how to go about it...

**schnookums: **You love it? Sweet. No, I don't think Naruto is a shy type of person, and, since she's been a boy part of her life, and disguised as one for the other, I doubt she'd really think twice about taking off her shirt. I'm sure she'll realize that Shikamaru is attracted to her sooner or later. And, as for Sasuke, I'm not sure if he likes Naruto in a romantic way or not, but I agree with you. I think the Uchiha would prefer a guy.

**Ice Cold Steel: **You are definitely helping me to get better with my writing, Ice. If someone, you, if looking at my writing critically, I mean, really looking at it, then I am going to try to improve as much as I can. As for the bold words at the top of the chapter, yes, they just mean pay attention in other languages. Everything you said about Naruto, the shirt, and growing up like she has is correct. Every guy is a bit perverted. Naruto is just bringing out that particular trait in Shikamaru. As for why Naruto didn't pay too much attention to the wound are as follows: one, Kyuubi heals the wound quickly. Two, she got injured quite a bit when she was younger by the villagers and some ninja, so she's used to the pain (bit dark, but it fits), and, three, she just didn't think it was a big deal. I don't know why more people don't use alliteration. It's cool. I hope I answered your question, and I answer any others you want to ask.

**SweetHunniiBunnii: **Of course Naruto didn't die! I couldn't kill off one of my main characters. I mean, I could... nah, not yet. Yes, Naruto is really weird, but she's awesome all the same. Glad you liked the chapter. I hope you like this one, too.

**narachan: **Yay, forgiveness. Anyway, it's nice that I'm getting such positive reviews. Here is the next chapter for you to read, and, hopefully, enjoy.


	9. Pesky Postulations

**!*!*! PAY ATTENTION... ATANSYON PEYE... FIGYELEM !*!*!**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto. I can however use it as a base for my odd imaginings of a perverted Shikamaru, a female Naruto, and god only knows what I"ll do the other characters. Cue evil laughter. Kukuku...**  
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Takeshi gestured for Shikamaru to sit down, and he did so gratefully. He wasn't about to say that it was too troublesome to stand up, but he still preferred to sit. He slouched down into one of the chairs, and debated whether Naruto was distracted enough that he could light a cigarette without Naruto ripping it out of his grasp and either throwing it away or incinerating it.

She was still hugging Kotone, who was still blushing. Naruto dragged Kotone down in to a chair and sat next to her.

Not for the first time, Shikamaru wondered whether Naruto preferred women or men. She kept hugging women, Kotone, Hinata, and, even if Naruto said that all she had wanted to be was friends with, Sakura, she had been really persistent. Yet, when a guy flirted with her, she had to ask him if he was. Why was he even thinking about it? It had absolutely nothing to do with the mission.

Takeshi cleared his throat and started. "When I was voted into power of this village, I decided that things needed to change. We had no way of defending ourselves if we needed to, and that left us weak. I wasn't sure what to do yet, but then on one of my trips to talk to other villages, I ran across a family who had a bloodline. They were from Kirigakure, and they had just escaped being slaughtered. It was then that I had the idea. I invited the family to come and live in our village, where they wouldn't be persecuted, and then began to make preparations for my idea. We would become a shinobi village. That way, we could protect ourselves, gather in another source of income for hiring ourselves out for missions, and take in people who had no where else to go. It made sense to me, so I started implementing my plans immediately. Gathering more families who need a place to stay, a place where they can be happy and safe, building schools, gathering rouge ninja's as teachers, not the murderous or insane ones. I started this all eight years ago, keeping it secret from the other villagers."

He paused and then continued. "Do not imagine that it was easy, convincing the people, the other members of the council, and old families. Many of them were against it, but I won them over, and those that I didn't win over, I either ignored or had to dismiss. You probably could have guessed all of that, Shikamaru," he said, directing the last comment towards Shikamaru.

Shikamaru nodded in reply, fingers sneaking towards the pouch with his cigarettes in it. Naruto seemed to be engrossed in what Takeshi was saying.

"And now we get to the reason that I asked Tsunade to send you two to me. Kotone has almost been killed twice before. Once, three months ago, she was almost stabbed through the chest with a kunai when she was on the training grounds. That wouldn't be out of usual, it being a training ground, except that there was only one other person there, and they didn't throw the kunai."

Shikamaru held up a hand, not the one with the now burning cigarette, and asked, "And how do you know that for sure?"

"Because, I was the other person there. Now, as I was saying, the kunai came out of nowhere, and almost hit her. Then, eight days ago, it got worse. Kotone was almost assassinated in her bed. If it hadn't of been for one of her guards, she would be dead. The first incident might have been an accident, but not that. That's when I decided I needed help, and I had no idea who was behind these attacks, so I didn't know who to trust in my own village. I don't know why anyone would want her dead. I can't think of a thing, besides someone who despises me and wants to make me suffer by taking away what is most precious to me." He shot a fond look at his daughter and lapsed into silence.

Shikamaru's brain worked, synapses firing rapidly. That was one option, but there were more, many more. If it wasn't for something that Kotone had done consciously, then it might have been something that she saw or heard but didn't realize the value of it, or she was needed out of the way for some other reason. Or, if it wasn't about her, then it could be for revenge, as Takeshi had indicated, or something else entirely. There were so many options, but not enough facts. He needed more.

He took a puff on his cigarette, and asked, "How does the system work here? Are the leaders of the council always chosen, or does lineage have anything to do with it?"

Takeshi looked a little startled at the question, but answered readily, "Well, in the past, before we became a ninja village, the ruler of the council was passed down the line of a specific family, and, in the case that no one was left in the family who would take the position, then a new head of council is chosen. That is how I came into power. In the event that I die… Kotone will take over."

Shikamaru nodded. That made sense. If he died, Kotone took over, and if she died… "Do you have any other family members… Takeshi?" Shikamaru asked. Usually, he would be a little more respectful, even if it was troublesome, but Takeshi didn't seem like the sort of person who wanted to be treated differently.

The older man shook his head. "No. It's just me and Kotone. Her mother died a few years ago."

Following that train of thought, then after she died, his family would be out of power, and someone else would need to be chosen. It wasn't that difficult to have two people killed, and someone had probably figured that Kotone would be the easier one to take out. And her death would probably weaken his physical health, not to mention mental health, making him easier to kill. But why now? And was it to gain the position or was it simply something only to do with Kotone? He moved to take a puff of his cigarette, only to place his lips around nothing. He looked up and sighed.

Naruto had stopped hugging Kotone, and was now standing over him, his cigarette in her hand, glaring down at him. "What did I tell you? Smoking is bad. Ramen is good. Smoking makes you not taste the ramen! You're a genius, Shika. It's not that difficult! No more smoking!" She threw the offending item out the open window, and then turned back to him. "You'll try to stop smoking, right?" she asked, scooting into the chair with him and pressing up against him unconsciously. "Please?" Naruto pouted.

He felt his cheeks heating up, and coughed into his hand to hide his embarrassment.

Unfortunately, Naruto took his cough another way. "See! The smoke is already affecting your lungs!" she exclaimed, hugging him as if he was going to keel over any moment.

Over Naruto's shoulder Shikamaru could see Kotone and Takeshi exchanging glances, confused glances. Great, they were probably getting the wrong idea.

"Naruto, you are a guy, right?" Takeshi asked pointedly.

Kotone jumped and stared at Naruto, "What? You're a guy?"

Naruto stopped hugging Shikamaru, leaving him to keep telling himself that he did not miss the feeling of her body against his. Naruto plastered a smile on her face and declared, "Yup! I'm a guy. Great henge, right?"

Shikamaru frowned inwardly. He wasn't an idiot, and he'd spent enough time watching Naruto to recognize one of her fake smiles, which she actually had on her face a lot. It was a little odd, but he didn't want other people to know that she was really a girl. It felt… nice being the only one who knew her secret, and there would be untold numbers of guys in Konoha after her if they found out. And, if they found out, he would make sure that they all had unfortunate accidents that kept them in bed, unable to walk, perhaps unconscious, for a few weeks… or more.

Shikamaru shook himself back to reality just in time to see Takeshi say, "Okay… Tsunade did say that you were a boy. So are you two…" He pointed back and forth between Shikamaru and Naruto.

Okay, so now they were getting mistaken for a couple. Shikamaru refrained from answering, instead closing his eyes and wondering whether they were in some odd genjutsu, and Naruto just tilted her head to the side looking clueless.

After an awkward silence, Takeshi cleared his throat and said, "Never mind. Kotone will take you to where you will be sleeping, okay? And then I'm sure that she can show you around the village. I would do it myself, but I have work that needs to be done. Be safe."

Shikamaru heard the plead in the words. Keep my daughter safe, and try to pretend that nothing is wrong. I don't want to worry my people.

Kotone rose gracefully from her chair, still shooting glances at Naruto and Shikamaru, and Shikamaru and Naruto followed her, Shikamaru bowing his head lazily to Takeshi, and Naruto energetically waving good bye. Shikamaru closed the door behind him, and after Kotone and Naruto.

Hisoka and Kazuo were still waiting for them outside the door. Takeshi bowed when he saw Kotone, and Shikamaru couldn't help notice that Kotone was blushing, and, if he guessed right, Hisoka was blushing, too. His bow was just covering it.

"Hello, Hisoka," she replied, twiddling her fingers in an almost Hinata-like gesture.

Naruto's eyes lit up as she glanced from Hisoka to Kotone.

It completely and utterly figured. Naruto understood other people's feelings… as long as they didn't have anything to do with her. It was like she had a mental block. It didn't seem like it was on purpose; she was just dense when it came to herself apparently.

When Kotone finished fiddling her fingers, she cleared her throat and turned to Naruto and Shikamaru. "Shikamaru, Naruto, would you two like to see our shinobi academy? It's what I'm especially proud of, but I'd like to show you the rest of the town as well," she said.

Naruto hugged Kotone, saying, "Aww… Kotone-chan! I know we haven't seen each other in a while, but you don't need to be so formal! I told you that already."

Shikamaru read in between the lines. You're not acting right. At this rate, everyone is going to know that something is wrong.

Seemingly, Kotone understood what Naruto was saying as well. "Sorry, Naru-chan."

Naru-chan? That was… cute. Maybe he could call Naruto that.

Kotone hesitated and then said, "I think you should change your clothes, Naru-chan, and then I'll show you around."

Naruto blinked at her. "Why?"

"Well, your shirt… It's not covering – I mean, the amount of material… Oh! I just think it would be better if you changed!" Kotone sputtered.

The vest did seem to be straining the single button that kept it shut. Shikamaru silently cheered for the button to pop and then stopped. When had be become such a pervert?

Kazuo chose this time to speak up. With a lascivious wink at Naruto, he said, "I think she looks perfect."

Kotone rolled her eyes at her, and growled, "You would."

Kazuo narrowly dodged a cuff aimed for his head by Hisoka.

Shikamaru shook his head slowly. Really troublesome.

"Would it be alright if you went and bought some appropriate clothing for… Naruto, and then met us at the academy, Miss Takeshi?" Hisoka offered formally.

A flash of dejection flashed across her face at what he called her, but was replace by a polite smile before she quickly turned to Naruto. "That's a good idea. Are you okay with that, Naru-chan?"

Naruto nodded. "Do I need to? I like this vest. It's Shika's, but… fine. I'll see you in a little, Shika," She said.

He nodded. "Sure, just don't take too long and make me come to look for you. That would be too much work," he answered lazily.

She beamed at him. "Okay! Let's go!"

The three boys watched as Naruto and Kotone walked off, when Shikamaru had a sudden thought. "Naruto! Don't even think about getting any ramen!" he yelled after her, and heard a groan in response.

Then, it was just him, Hisoka, who he didn't mind much, and Kazuo, who he would like to maim, very, very much.

"So," Kazuo said, once the girls were out of sight, breaking the silence, "Why was Naruto wearing your vest? I wonder how she'd look wearing my shirt… just my shirt."

Shikamaru changed his mind. He didn't just want to maim Kazuo; he wanted to tie Kazuo up, skin him very slowly with a blunt kunai, use him as target practice for shuriken, and then make him watch hours of Rock Lee and Might Guy hugging, complete with the sunset in the background. That amount of torture, green spandex, bowl cuts, huge eyebrows, and pain, both emotional and physical, would be enough to make anyone go insane, or die from blood loss, whichever came first.

He must have been emitting killer intent, although he was smart enough, and aware enough, to keep it in the range that a civilian could muster, because Hisoka suddenly looked as though he realized that it wasn't a good idea to have Shikamaru and Kazuo together.

Shikamaru glanced at the clock on the wall. He could only hope that Naruto came back before he cracked and killed Kazuo, which wasn't sounding too bothersome at this point. After all, he was a genius, so he could kill him and not leave a trace of what had happened behind, right? He glanced at the clock again. When was Naruto coming back?

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Hey, everyone. Sorry it's been so long since I posted last. It has been a while, right? I seem to have lost touch with reality, I got an error message every time I tried, and I was away from any internet source after that. Anyway, I would have posted sooner, but life was... being troublesome. I think that sums it up nicely. I also think that Shikamaru needs some nice, calming tea so that he doesn't go bonkers and kill Kazuo to protect Naruto's innocence. I think there's something else... Oh, yeah. I created a deviantart account and put up the link on my homepage. If you guys are interested, you can go look. I couldn't get Naruto quite right (at all) but it's there if you want to look at it. And... I just got accepted into two colleges, one really good, and the other good. Unfortunately, this confused happiness was slightly dampened by the drama of a unstable, wet-blanket, depressing person. Right. Anyway, I hope you guys like the story.

Ja ne,

_Rumer_

**Sanz0girl: **Ah, I see I've succeeded with my purpose for this story. Making people laugh. I'm glad you like the story and it amuses you. Thanks for the review, and read on.

**Schnookums: **Yes, I think you're right. Maybe Kotone can beat some girliness into Naruto. She needs it. Naruto's girliness isn't even calculable, sadly. I can see it now. Naruto would make the prefect dress up doll, and I"m sure that Shikamaru would be averse to seeing Naruto in some new outfits.

**InARealPickle: **Thank you. ^_^

**Naarano: **It meant five to ten, and it was a typo. Thank you for pointing it out. I went back and fixed it. Hope you like this chapter as well.

**: **Oh my... That is a problem. I didn't mean to make Sasuke that likable so that you would prefer him and Naruto over Shikamaru and Naruto. Hmm... And I just sent Sasuke home to Konoha. Well, don't worry. Once Naruto and Shikamaru get back to Konoha, I'm sure that Sasuke can continue to threaten people and cause all sorts of issues. So, about that niggling horror of yours with the council and everything... I have no idea what you're talking about. *Tries to look innocent and fails horribly*

**SweetHunniiBunnii: **Yes, Naruto is super weird, but we all love her. I'm happy that you liked the last chapter. Sorry it's been a while since I posted last, though. I hope you like this chapter.

**harlequin320: **I will definitely keep this story up. There is much weird Naruto-ness to come. Thanks for reviewing.

**Ice Cold Steel: **How old is Naruto? Oh... well, humm... Can you tell I've thought about it deeply? She's around seventeen, I think, and it's very, very AU. The part about me not italicizing Naruto and Shikamau's mental conversation was a fluke on my part. I went back and fixed it. Same with the other thing you mentioned. Jeez, everyone seems to like Sasuke in this thing. I mean, I'm glad you like him, since I was trying to make the bastard more likable, but he's still a bastard. You know what they say, once a bastard, always a bastard. He is rather nice with Naruto, though. Yeah, the fact that Kazuo seems to have a perverted interest in Naruto is going to be very troublesome for Shikamaru. He'll have to protect her... if it's not too much work. As for Kotone and Hisoka... you'll just have to keep reading to find out their relationship. I kind of know what you mean about the lemon, period, and I'm not really sure that I'd be comfortable writing one. God, that's abnormal for a teenaged boy to say... But I think a lime would be nice. Thanks for reading and reviewing, Ice.

**I-KNOW-I'M-CRAZY-NOT-INSANE: **The difference between a lemon and a lime are as follows: A lemon has explicit sexual content, and a lime has kissing and some heavy petting, I believe. I may be mistaken, of course. Hope you liked this chapter.

**narachan: **Yes! The chapter was awesome! That's good. I really love ShikaNaru pairings, too. It's just such a nice dynamic. Seriously, thank you for reviewing.


	10. The Aggravating Academy

**!*!*! PAY ATTENTION... FIGYELEM... BORGA ATHUGID !*!*!**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto, and, like Tsunade, who sold her soul for abnormally large breasts, I don't own my soul anymore, either. I lost it last Tuesday in a poker game with Beelzebub. **  
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Hisoka cleared his throat nervously. "Well, let's start walking to the academy, shall we?"

Shikamaru shrugged, "Sure," and started walking forward. He noticed that Hisoka purposely stepped in between Shikamaru and Kazuo, probably with good reason, like keeping a homicide from occurring. As they walked the streets, Hisoka acted as a shinobi tour guide, pointing out shops and landmarks. He reminded Shikamaru a little of Iruka, just less motherly, and Kazuo was like Kakashi. He shuddered inwardly. There really didn't need to be more Kakashi's in the world, not that there was anything wrong with the man. It was just astounding the level of perverseness that he attained.

Kazuo interrupted Hisoka's description of the history of one of the statues. "So, Naruto's your girlfriend, right?"

Shikamaru eyed him. "Yes." Where was the lecherous bastard going with this?

"Huh. It just seems a little odd. You guys don't really act like it. Is the relationship going badly?" Kazuo asked in a deliberately casual voice.

Shikamaru twitched and tried to keep an apathetic expression on his face instead of the murderous scowl that would be more appropriate for his emotions. Well, maybe the reason that they didn't act like boyfriend and girlfriend were because they weren't, not that he could tell Kazuo that. He wouldn't mind having Naruto as a girlfriend, but… he tried to clear his thoughts. That was not the right thing to think about on a mission. In reply, he leveled a bored glare at Kazuo, and said, "No, it's not going badly at all. We're happy together." Although, back off before I disembowel you, was what he really wanted to say.

"Really? Because that's not what it looks like," Kazuo said, whistling.

Shikamaru's hand twitched towards where he usually kept his kunai and shuriken, only to realize that they weren't there.

The air got tense, and then Hisoka exclaimed loudly, "Oh! Look! There's the academy. We're here already, and the girls should be here soon." A person couldn't look more relieved than he did at that point. He probably was ecstatic that they had gotten to the school without blood being shed.

Shikamaru left off glaring at Kazuo, who had been glaring back, and looked around.

The academy, unlike most of the other buildings, was light, whitewashed stone and made out of heavy blocks. The building had an odd grace about its "L" shaped wings, but it also looked solid, and like it could survive the wear and tear of several jutsus gone wrong. As they was almost everywhere in the town, a thick green lawn was in front of the building, but around the corner of the building, behind it, there was the bare, brown, almost reddish, earth that he associated with training grounds. The multiple floored building loomed over them, but it was actually welcoming and cheerful.

Now, the three were standing in front of the building in silence that quickly became awkward.

Kazuo broke it. "So, about Naru-"

Hisoka punched his friend in the shoulder, sending him slamming into the wall with a satisfying cracking sound and accompanied by a small cloud of dust. Hisoka laughed nervously. "I'm sorry about him. He's a horn-dog and an idiot. He really isn't a bad person, though," he said as Kazuo groaned in the background.

Shikamaru smiled, more at the fact Kazuo had gotten pummeled than at the fact that Hisoka was apologizing, but said lazily, "I got it. I know a person like him."

Hisoka looked pained at the mention there might be another person like Kazuo, but said, "Hopefully, the girls won't take too long. There's a lot of the academy to show you, and I'm sure that you will want to get settled in before nightfall."

Almost as if they had sensed his words, two pairs of footsteps sounded.

Shikamaru turned to greet them, and then everything that he had planned to say flew completely out of his head. Naruto was… wow. It was amazing how that puny three-lettered word was the only word that described how Naruto looked.

"So, Shikamaru, how do you think Naru-chan looks?" Kotone asked, smiling.

Shikamaru looked at the subject of the conversation, eyes trailing over her form. Against all odds, Kotone had managed to get Naruto into a dress. It went just past her knees, slit up the side so that she could move easily, and clung to her body. It had a high neck and no sleeves, but a pair of dark blue arm warmers that hooked over her thumbs accompanied the outfit. The dress fit her almost like a second skin, showing off all of her curves, and, of course… it was orange. A smile flitted over Shikamaru's face. Of course the dress was orange. There was little probability that Naruto would agree to wear something that wasn't orange, but this was – she looked… wow. There was that word again. Then, he realized that he still hadn't answered Kotone's question.

He cleared his throat hurriedly and said, "She looks wonderful."

Kotone nodded, "She does, right? You have no idea how hard it was to get her into a dress, though. The only way I got her into this one was because it was orange."

Naruto pouted. "Dresses are impractical! Pants are so much better, but… orange is awesome! What do you think, Shika?" she asked, twirling around to show off the dress. The skirt flared upwards, showing more tan skin.

He swallowed. "I think you look beautiful." The words were out before he could stop them.

Naruto's eyes widened, and she flushed.

Kotone giggled, and nudged Naruto in the side, only making her blush worse.

Kazuo, of course, butted in then. He stepped forward, apparently over getting smashed into the wall, and kissed Naruto's hand. "You look gorgeous, Naru-chan."

By now, Naruto looked positively confused and her face was the color of a tomato.

Kotone and Hisako were watching from the sidelines, and almost looked as if they were amused.

Shikamaru grabbed Naruto's other and pulled her towards him and away from Kazuo. He draped a possessive arm over her shoulders and drew her closer to him, close enough that she squeaked, and, to Shikamaru's surprise, didn't pull away. Either she still remembered that they were supposed to be playing girl friend and boy friend, or she actually didn't mind the close contact when he initiated it. He found himself hoping for the second option. He lowered his arm from being draped across her shoulders to snaking it around her waist and glanced at Kotone and Hisako. This seemed to snap them out of whatever stupor they were in.

"Right! We'll start the tour now!" they said in unison, guiding Naruto and Shikamaru through the entrance of the academy, ignoring the shouts of Kazuo about being, well, ignored.

The inside of the building was all painted walls and wooden floors and paintings.

Kazuo fell into step on Naruto's other side, much to Shikamaru's displeasure, and he could see Kazuo eyeballing Naruto.

He just had to calm down. There were too many people around to kill him. He'd wait until later.

Kotone and Hisako's voices blended together as they took turns explaining about the building and everything else to do with it. They really did seem to compliment each other well. "We have clans, mostly from Kirigakure, that send their children here to learn how to be shinobi, but the children of civilians attend as well. They start training when they're four, although it's more like baby-sitting or a play group at the beginning, and then, when they turn ten, they are given the option of continuing their training or quitting and either doing what ever they wanted, or become apprenticed to other professionals in the village or take over the family business. Then, the ones who have chosen to continue their training for two years. Then, they take an exam to become genin. If they succeed, they are put on teams of three with an instructor, and if they fail, they train for another year if they wish, and if they fail the next time, they lose their chance to become a shinobi and we either help them find a job to do with shinobi or protecting the village, or they choose to do something else. The ones who did pass the exam study under their senseis until they become chunin and then they operate in their teams for missions or go their separate ways."

Shikamaru nodded as they explained, paying attention with most of his mind, although a corner of his mind couldn't help but notice that Kazuo was watching Naruto's hips switch back and forth as they walked with a huge perverted grin on his face. Shikamaru was surprised that Kazuo didn't a nosebleed yet, and was tempted to punch him in the nose to give him one. Really, when did he turn into such a possessive, violent, pervert? The answer? Since he had found out that Naruto was a girl. He really hoped that this behavior wasn't a trend. At this rate he'd have to lock Naruto in a tower to be satisfied that she was safe from the unsavory approaches of the male sex. His lips quirked into a smile. He wouldn't mind locking Naruto in a tower… alone… with only him. He really needed help. Did they have clinics to cure people of perversion?

Back to the way that the Yugakure's system worked. It was a lot like Konoha's system, except that they started training earlier, and the options available weren't quite the same. And Konoha let the kids try three times instead of two. It actually sounded like the Yugakure had their shit together, maybe more than Konoha. The way that Kotone and Hisoka explained it, it made it sound like they really tried and cared. Shikamaru glanced at Naruto. He knew only too well that in Konoha kids could be ignored and be pushed to the side. Of course, the academy here probably wasn't perfect either.

Kotone stopped outside a sliding door. "One of the classes is in session, but I'm sure that the teacher won't mind us visiting." She slid open the door and ushered them inside.

The room was shaped like a partial amphitheater, with steps leading down from the doorway, where a teacher stood behind a desk and in front of a blackboard. The set up looked so familiar that Shikamaru wondered whether it was a copy of their own classrooms.

The faces of curious students peered at them from every direction.

The teacher, span around and smiled when she saw who it was. She had violet colored hair, pulled up into a loose bun, apricot colored eyes, and pale skin. "Lady Kotone, Hisoka… Kazuo. Nice to see you again. And I see you brought guests?"

Kotone nodded. "Yes, this is my one of my friends from Konoha, Naruto, and her boyfriend, Shikamaru. I thought they might be interested in our academy."

The woman smiled at them. "Oh, well it's nice to meet you two. My name is Anzu, and this is my class."

One of the students piped up. "Yeah! We're going to become genin in a week!" The one who had spoken was a boy with short, spiky black hair and baggy dark green clothing that seemed to have an unlimited number of pockets.

Anzu sighed, "Yukio, sit back down."

The boy chose to ignore her advice, and, instead, hopped over his desk and stood in front of Shikamaru and Naruto. His gaze wandered over them both before settling on Naruto, or, more specifically, on her chest. "Wow! Your boobs are bigger than Anzu-sensei's!"

The room lapsed into absolute silence while everyone stared at the boy, Yukio. Then one of the largest amount of killer intent the Shikamaru had ever witness welled up in the room, almost making it hard to breathe. More than a dozen girls, the female students in the room, had stood up and ominous waves were coming off of them, and they all happened to be glaring at Yukio.

"You are so dead," another boy whispered, and then he saluted, "It was a pleasure to know you."

Anzu looked like she would want nothing more than to sink into the floor or give the boy endless detention.

Shikamaru glanced at Naruto, who had yet to say anything, even though she was the one being objectified.

She was just staring down at the boy, eyes wide. Everyone was waiting to see how she responded. Then, she grinned. "Yeah, they are kind of big, aren't they?" she asked proudly, groping her own breasts.

Kazuo got an instant nosebleed; Hisako turned away, and Shikamaru got the distinct impression that he had a nosebleed, and Kotone yelled, "Naruto!" in an outraged voice.

Shikamaru quickly wiped away a trickle of blood and stared at Naruto. That was definitely not the right reaction. She should be embarrassed at the very least and murderous at the most. Of course, her attitude towards the whole thing might have something to do with actually being a boy a few years ago. She had actually been a pubescent boy, so it made sense, in a completely twisted way, that she would understand Yukio's interest in large breasts. Because she had been? Or maybe still was? The whole situation was weird, but he didn't really expect anything otherwise with Naruto.

Yukio was still staring up at Naruto, and seemed flabbergasted, like he had been expecting to be clobbered. Then, a slow grin formed on Yukio's face, and he exclaimed, "You're awesome! Anzu and Kotone would have walloped be if I'd said that to them. Same with the rest of the girls, and they're all flat compared to you." He jerked a thumb over his shoulder where said girls were sharpening kunai. He paused for a second, and then added, "Well, except for Ran-chan."

A girl with extremely pale hair, tanned skin, and a definite bust line, squeaked and crossed her arms over her chest.

Yukio smoothed his bangs back from his face and wriggled his eyebrows, sidling up to Naruto. "So, Kotone said that he's your boyfriend, but is it serious, or do I have a chance?"

Shikamaru exhaled sharply through his nose. Really? First Kazuo and now this twelve year old, they were both after Naruto. Even if the kid was, well, just a kid, it was still annoying. So, Shikamaru did what he thought was the right thing to do if he was acting like a jealous boyfriend, not that he was one, of course. He whacked the kid over the head, just like Naruto should have. "I'm her boyfriend, and she doesn't need another one. Try again when you've got a few more inches on you," Shikamaru said lazily, like the kid wasn't worth his time, which only served to infuriate the raven haired boy.

Yukio narrowed his eyes and glared up at the Nara. The look he was giving him would have made even Sasuke give him props or at least an "Hn" for its intensity. "I am not short!" he yelled, eye twitching.

Naruto moved away from Shikamaru and frowned at him. "Yeah! He's not short!"

Shikamaru groaned inwardly. Was he really a genius? He should have known better. Of course Naruto would be touchy about the shortness topic. After all, when she had been younger and a he, she, or rather he, had been short. That sentence was just too confusing.

He held up his hands in defeat. "Okay, okay. He's not short. How troublesome…" He stuck his hands in his pockets and slouched.

Naruto turned to Yukio and said, "Sorry, but Shika's my boyfriend."

Shikamaru's heart skipped a beat. Even if it wasn't real, hearing Naruto say that affected him.

Naruto continued, "You are so cute, though!" She hugged him, unconsciously pressing his head onto her breasts.

Yukio, now renamed "the little bastard" in Shikamaru's mind, turned his head and smirked at him.

It wasn't worth blowing his cover as a civilian to use any number of painful and humiliating jutsu on the boy. He just needed to keep repeating that.

Once Naruto let go, Anzu finally blew up. "Yukio Nakamura! How dare you act like this! You are well on your way to becoming a genin of this you want to dishonor us all? You need to think about your behavior and how it reflects on others before you act. Lady Kotone, perhaps it would be better if you visited another day. Would that be acceptable?" She was holding Yukio by the back of his shirt with one arm in the air.

Kotone nodded, still seemingly shocked by what had witnessed and Hisoka nudged her towards the door.

Kazuo walked up to Yukio and grinned at him. "Good job, man. You make me proud."

Why was it not surprising that Kazuo was corrupting the youth?

Yukio beamed up at the older boy, and they bumped fists.

Then, Kazuo winked at Anzu. "Hey, are you busy after class? We could go out for some dango, or we could skip the food altogether," he asked suggestively.

Anzu's face turned a rather flattering shade of pink, and she scowled at Kazuo. "No, I would not like to get something to eat with you. I am five years older than you, and you're a bad influence on the children!" she snapped.

Kazuo was still grinning, his mood apparently not dampened by her refusal. Instead, he disappeared and then reappeared behind her, giving her butt a pat before fleeing the room while she screamed some very creative death threats after him.

Naruto seemed to be overcome with giggles, and Shikamaru took her by the hand and hauled her out of the room. The last thing that he heard from within the room was Anzu saying, "Now, I think we should head outside for some sparring. Who wants to have Yukio as a sparring partner?"

"We do," the girls chorused, murderous intent lacing their furious voices.

Yukio whimpered, and then the door slid shut.

Shikamaru couldn't help but feel a little sorry for Yukio. He was in for a world of pain by angry females. Maybe the system that they used wasn't quite perfect, but everything had little issues, didn't it? And the academy seemed to have perverted students and angry females as an issue. It almost reminded him of Konoha.

He turned to Naruto who was still giggling. "Did we learn anything from that?" he asked. They were supposed to be learning vital information about who would want to hurt Kotone and about the newly formed shinobi village.

"Nothing useful," she said, fighting to keep a straight face.

He nodded without energy. That was true enough.

"Dinner will be in an hour. How about we head back to my house? I'm sorry about the class. It's not usually like that, really," Kotone said apologetically, "I can show you the rest of the academy and town tomorrow."

Naruto's stomach chose that moment to growl loudly.

"That's fine. It would be too much work to see the rest of this place now anyways."

Naruto agreed with him, clutching her stomach and pouting. "I think my stomach is eating my stomach! I need to eat before it moves on to my other organs! I need them!"

Shikamaru snorted at the ridiculousness of the statement before narrowing his eyes as Kazuo popped up next to Naruto.

"Hey, Kotone, do I get invited to eat at your house tonight?" he asked.

She lifted her chin and gave him a very annoyed, and somehow regal, look. "No."

It was simple, and exactly what Shikamaru wanted to hear.

Hisoka backed her up. "Kazuo, don't even think about it. I knew it wasn't a good idea to let you near the students, and Anzu is going to write a complaint to the council about your behavior… again. Besides, we were supposed to be stationed at the walls today, and Gin took our spot. Go join him."

Kazuo let out a long suffering sigh and grabbed Naruto's hand, declaring dramatically, "Sadly, I've been sent away, but I'll see you tomorrow, my sweet Naru-chan. In the meantime, I'll be wishing that I was in your company." Then he kissed a surprised Naruto on the cheek before shunshining and disappearing in a small burst of water and steam.

Okay, that settled it. He was going to seriously hurt Kazuo next time he saw him. He grabbed Naruto's hand and hauled her towards the exit of the academy. "Let's go and get something to eat."

Naruto let out a whoop and ran past him, now dragging him after her. "Food!" And, just like that, she seemed to have completely forgotten that Kazuo had just kissed her on the cheek.

Apparently, food ranked much higher than Kazuo. He couldn't help wonder if he rated above food, and what sort of reaction Naruto would have if he kissed her. He sighed, letting Naruto drag him along. Maybe with Kazuo gone he could actually learn something important and focus on finding out who wanted Kotone dead instead of worrying about Naruto getting molested. His fingers twitched for his cigarettes, and he sighed again. This really was the most troublesome mission that he'd ever been on, and it wasn't even halfway over. Tcha… Troublesome…

* * *

Heh heh. Hello, everyone. Now, let's just hang on a second and put any ideas of homicide on hold. I know some of you reading this might want to rearrange my internal organs, skin me with a rusty serrated knife, roll me in salt, pluck out my eyes with a pair of chopsticks, scalp me, have me drawn and quartered, and then burn the mangled remains of my body over a fire, but let me explain why I haven't uploaded a chapter in so long. First, I was out of town for more than a week, and by out of town I mean that I was somewhere where there was only enough electricity for three light bulbs, certainly not enough for a computer. Secondly, I've been dealing with the craziness that is my family, and what's happening with college. And, thirdly, I... forgot. Jeez, I'm really sorry. Just to make sure that you all know this... I am going to finish this story, and there's a whole bunch more to write. I will not fail, dattebayo! Sorry, I couldn't resist. So, please don't murder me in some sort of extremely painful way.

Ja ne,

_Rumer_

**harlequin320: **Yeah... You said to update soon, right? Yeah, sorry about that. It didn't quite happen. But you did ask to keep the story up, and I will do that.

**Fk306 animelover: **Glad you think that my story is great, and I'm just as glad that you were looking forward to more of the story. It took a while, but here's more of it.

**Ice Cold Steel: **You were wondering whether I was alive last time? Well, you must have thought I was deader than a doornail this time. I kind of have been attacked by something school related, but more family related except that the school thing and the family thing are intertwined. I'm starting to think that Murphy's law applies to my life in a frighteningly accurate way. Anyway, unlike your sister, you don't drive me crazy or annoy me at all when you correct my grammar. And, yes, Takeshi's explanation for why he turned the village into a shinobi village was the only one that made sense to me. Kotone and Hisako are... well, not lovers, but there's some serious something going on. I'm going to say that they like each other, but Kotone's of a higher, er, class than Hisoka, and Hisoka knows it, but he's being an absolute gentlemanly retard and is trying to ignore his feelings for her and just do his job protecting her. Now Shikamaru has two people that he would gladly kill if he could, and one of them is a twelve year old, although he is perverted. Poor guy. Yeah, it's nice that I got into two colleges, and I think I've decided on which one I want to go to, but family is making it difficult. You are so lucky for not having to worry about college yet. I'm staying strong! Sort of. I'm pretty sure that I'm the only dane person in the house, and that's kind of unnerving because I don't think I'm particularly sane. Scary. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter. As an apology, this is twice the length of my usual chapter.

**krystal: **Thanks for the review, Krystal. Getting told, or written, that my story is hilarious is great, and it's even better getting told that someone loves my story. Sorry it took so long to update, but I'll update much sooner next time.

**Nero Strauss: **Ah, enjoyable chapters are my specialties. I think it would be perfect for Kotone to find out that Naruto is really a girl eventually, but I can't spoil the surprise immediately, now can I? Nope, can't do it, but don't worry, she'll find out eventually.

**meglepetes: **I know! How Shikamaru must hate that vest now. I mean, really? Is it so much to ask for one little button to pop?

**Sillvog: **You were absolutely right. Naruto's dress was... orange. You just can't get away from the color. It's awesome, to Naruto at least. Although, I must say that it's a horrible color for a ninja. Hope I didn't disappoint with the clothing I chose for her. I just kept seeing her in the dress when I was thinking of the chapter. Now if I could really get a girl to wear that...

**SweetHunniiBunni: **Naruto is cute and bubbly, isn't she? Not that bright, but cute and very cheerful and persistent. She balances Shikamaru perfectly. I'm afraid that I've introduced more perverts to my story. They just make everything more interesting and... well, more perverted. That's never a bad thing, right? I will keep up the good work, and sorry for taking so long. I am going to continue this story.

**putu: **Seriously? This is the only non-yaoi almost lime story on your favorites list? I'm honored. And no, I'm not being sarcastic; I'm seriously happy about that. I like how I write Shikamaru, too. He's my favorite character, and, yes, he is a pervert. It's just not nearly as blatant as it is with someone like, say, Kakashi. I still have a while before I head off to college. I think I'm going to defer a year, so I should have time to write this. **  
**

**lordamnesia: **Pretty damn funny=good. Ah, I just love math, don't you? Nope, Naruto can't seem to understand anything to do with herself, only other people. I have the oddest feeling that Sasuke wouldn't welcome Shikamaru dating Naruto with open arms? Yeah, there might be some problems... and some blood spilled.

**schnookums: **You wanted to see Naruto as a dress up doll, and that translated into a dress in my mind. It had to be orange, though. There's no way around that. I swear, this isn't going to be SasuNaru. It's honestly not my favorite pairing. I mean, Sasuke's a bastard, plus he did try to kill Naruto. I don't think I'd feel safe dating someone who did that to me. Was Shikamaru's reaction to Naruto's girliness okay? Oh, and thanks for the props on the collages. I'm happy about it, I think. **  
**

**Shinigami's-Neko-Gaki: **Wow. That review really stood out. I actually think that with enough stress Shikamaru might crack and kill someone. Poor guy. Naruto is really innocent when it comes to certain things. I'm pretty sure that Sasuke prefers guys. All of those fan girls, although most of them are scary. Sakura? Ew. You'd think that he'd find one girl he liked, but nope. There's no way that he is getting together with Naruto in my fanfiction. Not going to happen, but I am going to make him a bit less of an asshole.**  
**

**narachan: **Hah! Glad you like the story so much, and I'm really sorry about the wait. I can only hope that you're still reading this fanficiton, Nara-chan. **  
**

**blucross: **You're the second person who wants Kotone to find out that Naruto is really a girl and not just pretending to be one with a henge. Let me assure you, she will find out eventually, but it might be a while. I'm not sure that Naruto will tell her, but she'll find out. **  
**

**Immortal Sailor Cosmos:** It's great that everyone thinks that I got Shikamaru is character. It's important, at least to me. And, yes, Ino did get pregnant a little young, but I suppose she loves Choji and her parents agreed, so it's okay. I'm a little fuzzy on the details, but it may have helped that Naruto really was a boy for the first thirteen years of his, her, life. And the whole thing with Sasuke becoming a missing nin thing... It's already happened. This story is a little AU, so please bear with it. She's just afraid to tell people that she's really a girl. Naruto not getting people's romantic emotions about her is to do with being a guy for the first part o her life and then still being disguised as one, plus her natural thickness. The radio chakra earrings would be great for them, wouldn't they? I'm not actually sure if Asuma is dead or not. Since I'm writing this disturbing series of words, I control what happens, so I might bring him back from the dead. Who knows? You will get to see Asuma's baby, though.


	11. A Disturbing Day

**!*!*! PAY ATTENTION... MEMBAYAR PERHATIAN... AIRD PA !*!*! **

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto for two reasons. One, I am not Masashi Kishimoto, nor his doppelganger, and two, I would never have created Sakura, the bitchy little harpy. The only thing that belongs to me are my original characters and the plot in all of its disturbing awesomeness.

* * *

After Hisoka had caught up to them, since Naruto had run off in the wrong direction, and Kotone led them in the right direction, they arrived at her house. It wasn't quite what Shikamaru had been expecting, although he wasn't quite sure what he had been expecting. It was an apartment building. The outside was painted a light green, and, of course, moss was growing on the wooden boards. The four-story building looked as if it had been there for years.

"The council wanted Father to move to another place when he became head of the council, but he refused, and we kept living here. We needed a place to entertain and discuss matters with visiting dignitaries, though. The apartment was too small for that, so we expanded. The entire top floor is our house now," Kotone explained as Hisoka pushed open the oddly wide and peeling paint door that led into the building.

The lobby wasn't anything special either, just a normal apartment lobby like you could see in any village. A guard behind the counter bowed as they passed.

Three flights of stairs later, they arrived at the fourth floor landing. Numbered apartments lined the either side of the corridor, and Kotone, after digging out a key, ushered them into apartment forty. The inside of the apartment was completely and utterly different than the outside. First impressions showed smooth bamboo floors, clean, simple artwork on the walls, comfortable furniture in earth tones, and blue walls. As they walked further, with Shikamaru making a mental map of the place in his head, he knew what they had done. All of the walls separating the apartments had been torn down or had doors cut into them.

It was a little odd, but so was finding out that the Yugakure had become a ninja village all of the sudden, Naruto being a female, and even Takeshi didn't seem right to lead a village. He wasn't stuffy and stiff enough.

Voices filtered through yet another doorway. One was easily recognizable as Takeshi's, but the other two were not. One was even deeper and slightly raspy, and the other crisp and polite. Both were male. Beyond a sliding door, three men sat at a table.

One, at the head of the table, was Takeshi, but the other two were unknown. On Takeshi's left, was an older man, with a wild-looking mane of hair that made Shikamaru wonder whether he got his hair cut at the same place as Jiraiya. His face was heavily lined with wrinkles, and a deep, puckered scar wound its way from his temple down the side of his face to his chin, distorting the aged skin. A silver capped cane sat at his side.

The man on his left side was far younger than either of the other two. His light brown hair was neatly cut, and a pair of thin, rectangular lens glasses perched on his nose, obscuring part of his intelligent and pleasant face. His green eyes flickered up from the table to them, and he smiled in welcome.

Shikamaru looked back at him, studying the two new men from half-lidded eyes. The older one was someone of importance, probably from the council. It was all there with the way he carried himself, and looked down at them. He also had seen a lot of action, judging from the scar and the look about the man. Still, there was something off about him, something that Shikamaru couldn't place. He filed it away in the back of his mind to ponder later and moved his attention to the younger man. Young, either a secretary or someone in training for a higher position, some sort of aid. He was a few years older than Kotone, Naruto, Hisoka, and himself. Smart, too. His sharp eyes were constantly watching. Maybe the guy had ninja training?

Takeshi beckoned them forward, and they took their places at the table. Kotone sat on her father's right had side, with Hisako next to her, then Shikamaru, and then Naruto sitting in between him and the unknown young man.

"Kotone! It's about time you got back. I was getting worried. Did you show you friends the village?" Takeshi asked, looking relieved at the sight of her happy and unharmed.

She nodded, "Yes, Kazuo and Hisoka showed Shikamaru around while I showed Naru-chan around and got her some new clothes and then we showed them around the academy. Unfortunately, when we got to the classroom, Yukio sort of acted out and… er… got to know Naruto. And then Kazuo started harassing Anzu, and we decided that we should leave and show Naru-chan and Shikamaru around another day when things weren't quite so… disturbing."

Takeshi laughed, "Yukio's at it again? I hope that Anzu is going easy on him. He does need to be reigned in a little, but I hope she doesn't punish him too much. After all, he is one of our prodigies. It's amazing what the boy can do with seals."

Shikamaru's head shot up. Lady Tsunade had said that the Yugakure had someone who was brilliant with seals, and it was that brat? "He's a prodigy?" he asked aloud.

Hisoka nodded, "Yes. He might not act like it, but he's one of the most talented people I've ever seen when it comes to seals. He keeps creating new ones, too."

Kotone interrupted, her voice prim, "I don't think that Kazuo is exactly a positive influence on him, though."

There was an understatement. Kazuo didn't have the capability to be a positive influence on anyone, unless they wanted to be an irritating, womanizing pervert. Of course, that was just Shikamaru's opinion, but his judgment wasn't that clouded, was it? It was still amazing to think about. Yukio was the one who had created the seal that dispelled henges, which meant that he was the reason that Shikamaru knew that Naruto was a girl. If he hadn't created the seal, then Lady Tsunade wouldn't have sent him to get Naruto, and he wouldn't have found out that he was actually a she. So maybe he was a little grateful to the boy? Only a little.

A door slid open behind them and a woman came in carrying a plate filled with food. She had steel grey hair, pulled back into a tight at the back of her neck, and a weather beaten face. She was wearing a yukata, grey-blue in color, and, if Hisoka was standing next to her, she would probably only come up to his chest. Another person followed her out. It was the exact same woman, then another, and then another. Either they were all identical quadruplets, or she was a shinobi using shadow clone jutsu. The second option sounded a lot more feasible.

Soon, the table was laden down with dishes of food, and Shikamaru was surprised that the table wasn't groaning under the weight of it. The woman retreated to the kitchen, not having said a word the whole time.

Shikamaru glanced sideways at Naruto and wasn't surprised by her expression. It was one of absolute rapture. The table was loaded with miso soup, rice, grilled fish, ramen, yakisoba, yakitori, gyoza, sushi, and more. Shikamaru knew what Naruto was staring at.

"Ramen!" she squealed happily.

Takeshi nodded, "Yes, Katsutoshi is particularly fond of it. Oh, I haven't introduced you all yet. This," he said, gesturing at the older man who hadn't said anything, just simply observed the, "is council member Ozuru Watabe, and this is his aide, Katsutoshi Ushiba."

Naruto, out of the blue, hugged Katsutoshi. "A fellow ramen lover! What's your favorite flavor?"

"M-miso," the poor, startled, and blushing Katsutoshi stuttered, caught of guard.

"That's great! My favorite is miso pork," she beamed. Naruto was the only person Shikamaru knew who could be so enthusiastic about ramen. By now, she had let go of Katsutoshi.

He pushed his glasses back into place and offered a smile, "So, may I ask your names?"

"My name's Naruto! And this is Shikamaru."

"Her boyfriend," Shikamaru added, slinging an arm lazily around her shoulders. He was just staying in character. Yeah, that was it.

"What village are you two from?" the elder, battle-axe of a man, Ozuru asked abruptly.

"We're civilians from Konoha. Naruto is an old friend of Kotone, and we're here for her birthday."

Ozuru stared, or glared, it was hard to tell, and then "humphed," and turned away to talk to Takeshi.

Naruto frowned after him and mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like, "Grumpy old codger," under her breath, but then she seemed to remember about the ramen and cheered up immediately. After a short conversation with Shikamaru, Katsutoshi seemed to monopolize Naruto and Kotone. That left Hisako to talk to Shikamaru, and Hisoka was happy to talk. Shikamaru learned a lot about the village, such as the ratio of civilians to shinobi, which was stunningly high at eight to one, their plans for the future, how he had grown up with Kotone, and several other interesting facts. But, after a little, Katsutoshi was enveloped into Takeshi and Ozuru's conversation, and Naruto, Shikamaru, Hisoka, and Kotone formed their own conversation.

Shikamaru kept an eye and an ear on Takeshi's conversation. They were talking about upcoming chunin exams, which were still a little less than a year away, and whether or not they should allow them to be held in the Yugakure. He paid special attention to the two new men at the table. He just couldn't shake the feeling that something was off, especially about Ozuru. Before he knew it, Ozuru and Katsutoshi had stood up and were getting ready to go, and Naruto had eaten six bowls of ramen, much to Kotone's amazement.

Ozuru walked out without saying anything, but Katsutoshi hanged back for a minute. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Shikamaru… Naruto," he said, eyes lingering on Naruto.

Inwardly, Shikamaru was cursing. Was every man they met going to flirt with Naruto?

"Nice to meet you to, Katsu-kun," Naruto said, smiling.

He looked surprised at the nickname, but smiled back. Then he was gone.

Takeshi stretched his back, popping joints, and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "I have some paperwork to go through before I go to sleep, but you guys should head off to bed. I'm sure you're tired after your journey here, and I'm also sure that Kotone will want to show you around even more tomorrow, so you should get some rest. Plus, if I'm not mistaken, you have guard duty tomorrow, Hisoka."

Shikamaru nodded at him, finding it too troublesome to actually give a verbal answer.

Hisoka's eyes widened, "I forgot! I need to file some reports, too!" He rushed off. Shikamaru could only guess to his room.

Kotone kissed her father goodnight on his scruffy cheek.

"Goodnight, Takeshi," Naruto said, and then turned to Kotone. "Hey, I'm bunking with you, right?"

Kotone started to agree, but then stopped and stared at Naruto. "What? No! Of course you aren't!" She lowed her voice to a hissing whisper, "You're a… a boy! Even if you look like a girl! You can't sleep in my room."

Shikamaru leaned against the doorway, watching. He already knew what was going to happen.

Takeshi placed a hand on his daughter's shoulder. "Naruto will be sleeping in your room. I'm sorry if you don't like it, but it's for your own safety." He placed a whiskery kiss on her head and then quickly shuffled off before Kotone could raise any other complaints.

Naruto grabbed Kotone into a one armed hug, and said, "Don't worry about it. I look like a girl, right? And right now, I'm pretty sure I'm thinking like a girl. I already think about you as a sister, so you don't have to worry about any perverted stuff. Got it?" She looked and sounded so much like a girl, that Kotone even seemed persuaded. Of course, she really was a girl, not that Kotone knew that.

"Okay… Naru-chan. Come one, I'll show you my, I mean, our, room. Shikamaru? Are you coming?" He gave a grunt in reply and followed them through two more rooms and down another hallways. "This is your room. Naruto and I will be right next-door, and Hisoka sleeps in the room on the other side," she said, pointing, and then disappeared into the room next to it, Naruto following her.

Shikamaru stumbled into the room and briefly studied it. There was a chest of drawers, a bed, a mirror hanging on the wall, a painting of a waterfall, and… A small table with a shoji board on it. Thank Kami. It must have been fate. Now all he needed was someone to play with. Then, he collapsed on the bed. He hadn't realized how tired he was until Takeshi mentioned it. He hadn't even done that much. Maybe fretting about all of the guys hitting on Naruto was tiring… Not that he was fretting. At all. Denial was so comforting, even to a genius.

His eyes closed and felt himself drifting off to sleep.

He was brought back from the edge of unconsciousness by the fluttering whisper of fabric and the mattress dipping as someone sat down. He cracked his eyes open blearily, and then they shot open of their own accord.

Naruto was sitting on his temporary bed, golden hair let down and cascading over her shoulders… wearing a nightgown, a baby blue nightgown made of some almost sheer fabric that ended above her knees and tied with a bow under her bust. It was also quite low cut. Some far away part of his brain realized that the nightgown probably belonged to Kotone, but that wasn't the issue. The issue was that Naruto was in his room, dressed like that, and he was no longer sleepy, not at all.

"Naruto?"

Maybe this was a dream? He wouldn't especially mind.

"Hey, Shika."

She asked something after that, but he didn't answer. Maybe he was asleep after all. He slowly reached out and fingered the material of her dress. He could feel it, soft and silky between his fingers.

"Shika?" Naruto asked, looking at him weirdly.

Suddenly, he realized that he wasn't dreaming and he also hadn't answered Naruto, instead opting to stare at her with glazed eyes. He cleared his throat. "What? Sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked if you if you're alright. You were pretty quiet at dinner."

He nodded quickly. "Yeah, I'm fine. I was just thinking. Did something seem wrong about Katsutoshi and Ozuru to you?"

Naruto nodded, "Yeah, something about Ozuru. I don't know quite what it is, though."

They lapsed into silence, which was broken when Naruto said, "I don't know, you've seemed a little grumpy all day. Whatever it is, you can tell me."

How could he tell her that it was because guys kept leering at her? "It's nothing," he said firmly. She probably hadn't even noticed.

She gave him a disbelieving look, and then did something he didn't expect. She curled up on the bed next to him and hugged him, wrapping an arm around his torso, and rested her head on his shoulder. "Well, if you ever feel like telling me, I'm here," she mumbled, and he could feel her lips moving against his shoulder. The position they were in was strangely intimate, not that he minded.

"Troublesome," he answered with a smile. His body was vibrating, and his skin felt like it was burning everywhere her body came in contact with his. Shifting slightly, he propped himself up and gazed down at Naruto, or more precisely, her full, pink, and soft looking lips. Slowly, he leaned closer.

And then jerked backwards as a voice called from the next room, "Naru-chan? Come on, let's go to bed."

"Coming, Kotone!" Naruto called back, rolling off of the bed. "'Night, Shika. See you tomorrow," she said, and then vanished into the night, or at least out into the hallway, leaving a very frustrated Shikamaru glaring at the ceiling.

He'd finally summoned enough energy, and courage, to do something, and… absolutely nothing had come from it, because nothing had happened. And now, instead of being sleepy and content, he was wide-awake, frustrated, and his body, especially a particular part of his body, was not listening to him. "So damn troublesome…" he groaned, trying not to think about what might have happened if Kotone hadn't called. Groaning again, he cursed. He had no idea where the bathroom was, so he couldn't take a cold shower. Sleep was not going to come easily.

* * *

Hello, everyone. How are you all? Now, Please don't kill me for taking so long. Hmm... I seem to be pleading for my life an awful lot lately. How unpleasant. Anyway, not that much happened in this chapter, but I needed to set certain things up and make Shikamaru miserable. I'm so evil. I actually got my sibling to read the first few chapters of my story. I think it might have freaked him out a little. His eyes bugged out, and his eye kept twitching. Well, no one expects their younger sibling to write like this, I suppose. I don't see what's so weird about it, but he's a bit of a prude. Just between us, I think I might have been adopted. Right, I will end my rambling now. Thank you everyone for reviewing. I have ninety-nine reviews, seriously. So, if I'm lucky, I'll get one hundred reviews with this chapter. Hint, hint. Thanks everyone. Oh, and by the way, I'm a beta reader now. So, if anyone needs help...

Ja ne,

_Rumer_

**Ice Cold Steel:** Hello, hello, hello! So, my last chapter came right one time? That's good. Well, I hope you aren't too busy with homework to read this one, Ice. Aww, and you said you loved me. Really, now? *waggles eyebrows suggestively* Okay, onwards. The sentence about how Naruto had been a boy when she was younger and still a he? It was supposed to be confusing. Iruka and Kakashi are favorite characters of mine, so I wanted to have a pair of teenaged versions of them. Hisoka is a good guy, and Kazuo is just a pervert. He's not quite as cool as Kakashi, but I'm working on it. As for Naruto's reaction about her boobs... yeah, part of her mentality is still that of a guys. Good for Yukio, though. If she really did think like a girl, then he would have gotten a beat down. You felt bad for Shikamaru in the last chapter, right? Well how about this one? Poor guy... He really needs help. I'm starting to think that my chapters are proof of life. Yep... My brain has melted and I never realized how annoying life can be sometimes, but it's worth it and the chapters keep coming! Anyway, hope you like the chapter.

**Nero Strauss:** Ah! Anko. I haven't forgot about her. She's... wow. Yes, I think Anko meeting a female Naruto would be very interesting, when Naruto and Shikamaru get back to Konoha. I'm not quite as sure about Tobi, but you can definitely look forward to reading about Anko and Naruto. She actually seems pretty similar to Naruto in some ways, although more sadistic. Plus, she is rather hot, even if she's slightly crazy in my opinion. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

**Shinigami's -Neko-Gaki:** Wow... I - how - wow. I'm not quite sure what to say to that review. You actually put some pretty disturbing images into my head. I think I might be slightly scarred for life... Right, moving on. I'm glad you liked the last chapter with Yukio, who does remind me of Naruto a little, Kazu, who should be skinned and rolled in salt, and all of the other weird things that happened. Hope you liked this chapter just as well.

**harlequin320:** Huh, you really do put update soon at the end of each review. I agree with you on the writing part. I don't really want to read a whole bunch of bad writing of a story that I like. Quality over quantity every time. Good, good. I like humor, so I try to make sure that people laugh at least once when they read my story. Shikamaru is getting more perverted by the minute, although I don't necessarily blame him with Naruto like that, and it seems to be getting to him. I'm sure there are going to be a whole lot more problems in the future. Poor Shikamaru... Well, least Naruto got to eat ramen in this chapter.

**Tachi Kagahara: **Great chapter, huh? Good. Yeah, Naruto's reaction to Yukio's comment about her breasts was... classic Naruto, well, at least if she still thinks a little like a guy. Sorry it took me so long to update, but please read and review!

**Aidis:** You're seriously right. I didn't realize that people would think it was yaoi, which looking back in retrospect is completely retarded on my part. Naruto is a guy. Shikamaru is a guy. Enough said. Thanks for telling me. Hope you liked this chapter. This is the first time you've reviewed, isn't it? Or do I have a really bad memory.

**hentai18ancilla: **I know! A perverted and possessive genius Shikamaru is great, right? I'm not sure whether Sasuke has romantic interest in Naruto, but I'm sure as hell that he's not going to like Shikamaru being all over Naruto, with Naruto's odd mixture of innocence and perverseness. Naruto being a girl is going to be a real shock to a lot of people, though.

**krystal: **Good to hear it, Krystal. I think Yukio and all of the rest of them should make an appearance in the next chapter as well. So, did you get excited when you saw that the story was updated again?

**putu: **Yes, poor Shikamaru is right. I felt even sorrier for him in this chapter. He tried to kiss Naruto, but Kotone unwittingly put an end to that. So many questions... Will he ever manage to kiss Naruto? Will he main Kazuo? Will more guys hit on Naruto? Will Naruto get to eat more ramen? Will they be able to save Kotone? Keep reading to find out! Wow, I sound like one of those really bad voice-overs.

**-xxCloudEnvyxx-:** A comic genius? Me? Well, if you insist. I can feel my ego inflating already. How nice. I'm making you giggle and laugh. My job is complete. I must say, I absolutely loved your review. Really, thank you for it, and I hope you keep reading my story. I'll keep trying to make you laugh. My story is art... what a nice thought. I'm not sure Deidara would agree with your definition of art, but thank you nonetheless.

**Sillvog: **Yep, Naruto certainly got the attention of Yukio. I know what you mean about Kazuo. He's not my favorite, but him and his perverted ways are growing on me. He's not quite as perverted as Jiraiya, but he's working on it. Thanks for reviewing.

**9tailedokami16x: **Did... you just call me Kit? Not that I mind, I rather like the name. Did you read my story in two days? All of it? Nice. Anyway, I appreciate that in your demonic eyes my story is awesome. Thanks. Keep reading and reviewing.

**free:** You do have a point with the logic about just Naruto going to another village, but you've forgotten one thing. Naruto, perhaps stupidly, is completely devoted to Konoha. She would never betray them, and Tsunade knows it. So, if you knew that you wouldn't be attacked by your own warhead, to use your example, wouldn't it make sense to gain the peace treaty? Just a thought. I'm not sure it makes that much sense, but it's how I see it.

**narachan:** Glad you loveitloveitloveit! I told you, while my updates might be a little slow, and I apologize for that, I am definitely going to keep on with the story. I'm not sure that I can say that I'm doing well, but I'm still writing, so I'm still alive. I think... *pinches self* Yep. I'm still here. Anyway, I always look forward to your reviews, Nara-chan.

**Vaughn Tyler: **Thanks. Oh, and I like your avatar. It's hilarious.

**Cenright: **Wow. Thanks. That's a really nice review. I mean, really nice. I try and make sure my story has a plot, even if it's not the most original, and that the grammar is acceptable. So, yeah. Thanks. Please keep reviewing and commenting.

**latindragon: **You absolutely love it? Well, do you absolutely love me as well? Just kidding. I'm glad you like it. Sorry I made you wait so long for this chapter, but I hope it's worth the wait. I'll get started on the next chapter as soon as possible.

**blucross: **Jeez, everyone seems to be ganging up on Kazuo. He's not exactly my favorite, but he's not that bad. Sure he's a pervert, grabbed a woman's ass, flirted with one or two others, made a whole lot of sexual innuendos, and is corrupting the youth, but still... Oh, snap. I need to make him more likable, pronto. Before he gets murdered by a girl who he's flirted with one too many times.

**Fluffy-luvr:** Who doesn't love ShikaNaru? Ignorant boring people with no sense of anything, that's who. I might be going a little far... My sibling doesn't really like them. Oops. Heh heh... Right. Moving on. As I was saying, ShikaNaru stories are great, if they're done right, and, thankfully, people seem to think that I'm doing this one at least partially right. So, glad you love the story, hope it makes you laugh, and there will be more to come.

**gabyxx21: **I'm glad you like the story, and hope you liked this chapter.


	12. Bothersome Books

**!*!*! PAY ATTENTION... COLO... PIEVERSIET UZMANIBU !*!*!**

**Disclaimer: **The character and plot of Naruto, along with anything else you can think of, doesn't belong to me. I do however take full credit in using the characters in Naruto for my own perverse imaginings. Get it? Got it? Good. On with the story, if you can handle it...

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Morning came only too soon, at least for Shikamaru. It had taken him hours to get to sleep because of a certain blonde haired jinchuuriki. He had also had a dream; in the dream, Naruto had been sitting on his bed, holding a shoji board, and asking him to play with her. Her nightgown had kept shrinking, too. So, while it had been a great dream, it hadn't been conducive to getting any rest.

He stared at the ceiling, too lazy to actually get up and out of bed. Most shinobi, or at least the good ones, the ones that stayed alive, had a sort of sixth sense, something that came from the need to survive, and Shikamaru was getting a feeling now. He had the feeling that today was going to be long and disturbing, with a smattering of men trying to hit on Naruto. Oh, joy.

But, he would have to get up eventually. So, with a groan, he turned over on his side and rolled to his feet. After a quick change of clothing, a pair of black pants and brown shirt, courtesy of the chest of drawers provided by Kotone, he shoved on his shoes and opened the door, only to find Naruto standing there, arm raised as if about to knock.

"Oh! Morning, Shika," she chirped, grinning brightly.

"Morning," he grunted back, and then tried to get past Naruto.

Naruto, on the other hand, wasn't moving. Instead, she was staring at him.

He waved a hand in front of her face. "Naruto? What's up?"

"Your hair," she murmured.

He blinked. That was all? It must have been the first time that she'd seen him with his hair down, out of its ponytail. It came down to his shoulders, but there wasn't anything amazing about it, certainly nothing to justify her staring like he'd invented a new flavor of ramen.

Then, Naruto said one of the last things that he expected. "You know, you have really pretty hair," she said, reaching up and fingering a thick strand of it. "You should wear it down more often."

Maybe he was still dreaming. That would explain what was happening right now, but he could feel the closeness of Naruto's body and her fingers running through his hair.

He cleared his throat, trying to keep unbidden images out of his mind. "I'll keep that in mind." Then, he reached down for the band that he used to keep his hair up, the one that should have been on his wrist, but wasn't.

"Here," Naruto said, pulling one, an orange one, of course, off of her wrist. "Bend down a little." He obeyed before what she said even really processed. All he knew was that her hands were in his hair again, his face was very close to her bust, and he was becoming a pervert against his better judgment. "There," Naruto said, patting his head.

"Thanks…"

A stifled giggle came from down the hall and Shikamaru's head swiveled to see who it was. It was Kotone. How had be not noticed she was there? Wasn't he supposed to be a ninja? "You two look so much like a couple. Are you guys sure that you're not…" she asked, and then let her voice trail off suggestively.

Naruto was simply looking at her blankly. "Are we sure we're not what?"

Oh, Kami. How could someone be so innocent?

Kotone stared back at her. "Are you serious?"

Naruto continued to stare at her.

Finally, Kotone sighed. "I can't believe it… Never mind. Naruto, breakfast is on the table."

"Food!" Naruto yelled, running down the hall in a blur of orange, and leaving Shikamaru and Kotone alone in what was quickly becoming an awkward silence.

"So… Have you told her, I mean, him?" Kotone asked, breaking the silence.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

"I mean, have you told him that you like him?" Kotone clarified.

Shikamaru wasn't sure that it was possible, but the situation got even more awkward. "I don't like him," Shikamaru denied.

"Yeah, you do. It's obvious by the way that you look at him," she retorted back, arms crossed.

Shikamaru closed his eyes exasperatedly. Why was Kotone pursuing this topic so aggressively? He thought that she was a meek, polite, sweet girl. Right now, she was acting more like Ino than Hinata, who she had originally reminded him of. And, really, was it that obvious?

Kotone seemed to be able to read his mind. "It's not thaaat obvious, but it is to me. The way that you look at Naruto goes past just acting like you're her, I mean, his, boyfriend," she said quietly.

The annoying thing was that Kotone was actually right, besides the fact that she thought that Naruto was a guy. He did like Naruto. He opened his eyes and leveled a lazy glare at her. "And? How is this your business?"

She met his glare with an unexpectedly soft look. "Have you told him yet?"

Shikamaru shook his head, "No… It would be too troublesome…"

Kotone stumbled, although Shikamaru wasn't sure how, since she hadn't been moving. "Too troublesome?" she asked weakly, as if unsure whether to laugh, hit him, or tear her hair out by the roots. "Shikamaru… You should tell him before someone else does. I know that he's getting a lot of attention in his henge, but I'm sure that people are interested in him in his guy form, too." She paused and then continued. "Although, he does seem a little – er – innocent. But, anyways, Shikamaru, you should tell him. Gender, age, or… social status shouldn't matter when you like someone." She bit her lip and looked away from him.

Shikamaru knew what she was really thinking of. He wasn't an idiot; in fact, he was a genius. The difference in position between herself and Hisoka, that was it. If the fact that he liked Naruto was a bit obvious, then the feelings between Kotone and her partial guard and apparent best friend, Hisoka, were glaringly obvious. The feelings of attraction between them were definitely mutual, but Hisoka clearly didn't think that he was of high enough position for her. Shikamaru pinched the bridge of his nose. This whole thing was giving him a headache. He needed to sneak away and watch some clouds, and maybe smoke a cigarette or two. Possibly three, but definitely no more than five. He sighed. It would be way too much work to deny that he had any feeling whatsoever for Naruto.

"I'll think about it, okay?" he said finally.

She nodded, giving him a small smile. "Okay. Just as long as you thing about it. Anyway… Food's ready."

She walked past him, but he stopped her. "Is there a way to the roof?"

She nodded. "Yeah, just go down to the end of the hallway. There's a door that looks like a closet. Open it, and there will be stairs leading to the roof," Kotone said, giving him a slightly odd look and then continuing down the hallway.

He followed her directions, and arrived at a wooden door, and then a rickety pair of winding stairs. He pushed open a trap door in the ceiling, and bright, warm, sunlight flowed over him. Heaving himself up, he looked around.

There was a garden on the roof. Flowers and vegetables and fruits were intermingled, growing amongst one another and creating a beautiful array of colors. The roof seemed to be at a slope. Shikamaru looked at it more closely. There was a draining system under the wooden planter boxes and the small patch of green grass. It was smart, and not something that he'd seen before. They could maximize their crops this way, among other things, and if food supplied ever got cut off from other villages, then they could be self sustained. It was more than smart, it was a brilliant war strategy, although not in the traditional sense.

He slouched over the patch of green grass and collapsed down onto the thick, green, grass, rolling over onto his back and folding his hands behind his head. The clouds floated by slowly overhead, pure white against the blue, slightly tinged with gray, sky. Slowly, he closed his eyes, letting the ever flowing clouds lull him into some semblance of relaxation.

A little while later, everything went dark. He opened his eyes and saw Naruto standing over him, her body casting a deep shadow over him. Usually he would be irked to say the least, if someone disturbed him, but Shikamaru didn't actually mind it when Naruto did it.

"Shikamaru?"

"Hmm?"

"I brought you some food. Kotone told me you had asked where the roof was, so I thought you had come up to cloud watch," she said, sitting down next to him and unwrapping a cloth covered bundle on the grass next to him. She picked up a bun and held it out to him. "Come on, eat something. Kotone's taking us out in a little."

He accepted the offered food, chewing it slowly as Naruto lay down on the ground next to him.

After several moments of silence, her hand shot up and she pointed to a cloud. "Look at that one. You know what it looks like?"

Knowing Naruto, it would probably have something to do with Ramen or training. He squinted at the fluffy blob. "A bowl of ramen?"

"What? Where? Oh, you mean the cloud. No, I think the cloud looks like a fox!"

He squinted even more and concluded that it looked like a fox… with three tails and no head, maybe.

He twisted onto his side and reached out slowly, intent on wrapping an arm around her waist, when Kotone called, "Shikamaru! Naruto! Come on!" He jerked his arm back, eye twitching. Kotone wanted him to admit his feelings to Naruto, and yet the last two times he had tried to do anything, she had interrupted!

Naruto bounced up, clearly completely oblivious to the internal turmoil of her shinobi partner. "Okay! Let's go!" she yelled, pumping her fist in the air. Seeing that Shikamaru wasn't getting up, and most likely thinking he was just being lazy, she stood over him and pouted. "Shika, come on! You can look at the clouds later!"

He shook his head and got up slowly, following a now happily chattering Naruto down the stairs. Really, what did the universe have against him? Did the universe not want him to be closer to Naruto? He shook his head. Now, he was just being ridiculous. He knew better than to think like that; it was illogical... right?

Kotone was waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs. "Hisoka had to go fill in for guard duty on the walls, but I remembered there's supposed to be a fight today. You guys might like to see it."

A fight?

Seeing the look of confusion on their faces, or at least Naruto's, Kotone clarified. "Our village has teams of three students, just like yours, with their senseis, and they gather at the training grounds every week or two to spar against one another, to see who's team is improving in what way. It's just a little friendly competition. Father's found that it actually makes the shinobi work better together, not just in their squad. Instead, they all come together like one giant team. Do you guys want to go see?"

"Sounds… not too troublesome," Shikamaru said, as Naruto bounced up and down eagerly.

As she bounced, Shikamaru couldn't help notice that certain… assets bounced as well, and he wasn't thinking about her pig tails. Was she even wearing a bra? He shook his head. He needed to clear his thoughts.

Slightly numb, he followed Naruto and Kotone out of the house and down the road, only coming back to reality when Naruto grabbed his hand and laced her fingers through his. She didn't even say anything, and he didn't either. He just tightened his hold on her hand.

Kotone giggled quietly on Naruto's other side and squealed softly. "So cute!"

Naruto looked at Kotone strangely before turning back to Shikamaru. "What's wrong with her?"

Shikamaru shook his head. "It's something that teenaged girls are prone to do."

"She sounds like someone shoved a dying parakeet down her throat." That statement was so odd that Shikamaru didn't even try to answer it.

Before he knew it, they were back at the school, the very, very odd school that they had visited yesterday. Only, this time Kotone led them around to the back of the school instead of into it. There was a huge, flat, worn, training ground, and quite a few people were already there. It looked like a mixture between a fight tournament and a picnic. Blankets were scattered all over the ground right under the trees at the edge of the training grounds, and people were sparing almost playfully in the center.

"Naru-chan!" a voice hollered, and Shikamaru glared at the blur speeding across the training ground towards them.

"Kazuo…" The name came out as a groan.

Said perverted person currently had Naruto's hands clasped in his own hands. "I'm so glad to see you see you here today, Naru-chan. Did you come to see me?"

Shikamaru tried to tune out Kazuo's inane flirting, and his eyes settled on something peeking out of the guy's pocket. It was a very familiar orange covered book. With swift fingers, he plucked the item out of Kazuo's pocket and looked at it. It was one of the Icha Icha books. For some reason, Shikamaru wasn't surprised. He would have been more surprised if Kazuo didn't read the lascivious books. He cleared his throat loudly and dangled the book in front of him. "I think you dropped this, Kazuo."

Kazuo turned around, and then he hurriedly grabbed the book, cradling it to his chest. "Ah! I can't believe I almost lost you! My precious…"

Shikamaru's eye twitched. That as just wrong on so many levels that hadn't even been created yet.

Kotone looked curiously at the book. "What is it?"

Ahh, someone whose innocence hadn't been corrupted yet. Shikamaru patted her on the shoulder. "Trust me, you don't want to know."

Meanwhile, Naruto was staring at Kazuo. "No way! You read Ero-sennin's books?" she gasped, pointing at the book.

Kazuo froze. "Wait… Ero-sennin? Do you know the artist behind this beautiful masterpiece of erotic literature?"

Okay, now things were getting even creepier, although Shikamaru hadn't realized that was possible.

Naruto nodded. "Yeah, I kind of do," she admitted.

"Really? Then… do you think you could introduce me to him? It's just… I'm a writer, too, and I thought that he could maybe look at some of my work… He's publish that other author' work, so maybe he'd look at mine," Kazuo practically begged.

It was true. In the latest Icha Icha book, he'd published a short story in the back by someone who went by Ren, simply Ren. The story had been surprisingly good, somehow managing to be both more perverted and more tasteful than the Toad Sannin, however contradicting that seemed.

Naruto flushed slightly. "You want me to get Ero-sennin to publish your story like Ren's? Well… Give me a copy, and I'll get it to him," she said finally.

Shikamaru looked at her closely. Why exactly had she flushed? And why did she know the author's name of the new story? Unless… Did she read Icha Icha, too? He wouldn't be surprised if the Toad Sannin made her proof read his stories as some sort of twisted training. And if he ever found out Naruto was actually a girl, and a hot one at that, then who knows what would happen? Shikamaru made a silent vow to make sure that Jiraiya never used Naruto for his stories and to make sure to keep Naruto's gender a secret as long as possible.

Overjoyed at the prospect of his work being seen by his apparent hero, Kazuo hugged Naruto tightly, and then his hands started to drift lower, until they rested on her hips. Then they went lower.

Shikamaru chose that time to interfere. He pulled Kazuo away from her, span him around, pulled back his arm, and then punched Kazuo squarely in the face. He kept the force in the range that an outraged civilian would have been able to muster, but it still felt good.

Then, stepping over Kazuo's cursing form, he wrapped an arm around Naruto's waist and grabbed Kotone's arm, leading them towards the other people who were now staring at them. "Come on. Didn't you say you were going to introduce us to some people, Kotone?"

She looked back at Kazuo unsurely, but then nodded and strode away.

Naruto on the other hand, simply said, "That was awesome! Do you know he grabbed my butt? I was about to punch him myself! Thanks, Shika."

Well, it was nice that Naruto wasn't actually so naive that she hadn't noticed what Kazuo had been doing. Plus, she appreciated what he did. Shikamaru kept his hand around her waist and followed Kotone, hoping that the people ahead wouldn't be any weirder than the ones that he had already met. He didn't have much hope. A man was leaning against a tree, blindfolded, licking a large knife, and two women, one wearing next to nothing, were screaming at each other while everyone else ignored them like it was an everyday occurrence. Scratch that, he didn't have any hope for normalcy entering into the equation at all. How… troublesome.

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Hello, everyone. It took a little bit, but another chapter has been completed. Wow. I got tons of reviews on the last chapter, and guess what? I have over a hundred reviews! Can you believe it? Triple digits! Oh, yeah. So, I'd also like to give special thanks to Ice Cold Steel, who was the one hundredth reviewer, and to babycandydusk, who made a really awesome fan art of Naruto. If you want to look at it, go to the reviews page and the link it on babycandydusk's review. So, yeah, I'm really happy about this all. Oh, I do have one thing that's bothering me, though. I was randomly clicking stories, and I would up reading one... It started out completely normal, and then things took a disturbing turn. Who the hell thought it would be a good idea to make Kakashi and Might Guy a couple? What the hell? Really? I mean, the story didn't even warm me that it was YAOI, much less that. Please tell me that none of you have written such a story, or, if you have, could you please explain it to me? Because I don't think I'll ever be able to get the images that those words invoked out of my mind. Scarred. For. Life. Okay, so that's all. I'm just happy that my sibling's finals are over so he'll stop being to tetchy, and that I got so many reviews. Thanks all.

Ja ne,

_Rumer_

**Ice Cold Steel: **I've come to the conclusion that we both might be psychic. You're taking the AP exams? You poor, poor, person. My Mother was completely pissed that I didn't take them. Oh, well. Thanks for finding the mistakes and telling me about them, although I'm a little annoyed that there were so many. I think I fixed all of the ones that you pointed out, though. But, also as you pointed out, they aren't major mistakes, and yes, I am human... or at least that's what the government thinks... Moving on. Yeah, you'll have to keep wondering who's the bad guy or if I even introduced him/her yet. I'm evil like that. As for Katsutoshi liking ramen, he's a little more mellow about his love of the food. I'm not really sure that anyone could match Naruto's passion for it. I feel a little bad for torturing Shikamaru so much with everything that's happening, but it's hilarious, at least I hope it it, so he'll just have to suffer. And, yes, you are the one hundredth reviewer! Congratulations! You win... virtual brownies and a virtual hug from me, which, in reality, is worth absolutely nothing. But, still, thanks for reviewing. Oh, and thank you for sending me that email. I appreciate it.

**Vaughn Tyler:** Thanks. Good to know that you like it.

**putu: **Seriously? Come on, this story isn't that bad... I hope. Although, now that I think about it. I might not be the happiest person in the world if my younger brother did something like this. Oh, well. He can deal with it, or pretend that he never saw any of it. Anyway, you requested more Shika/Naru fluffiness, and I hope that I obliged you in that request.

**Cenright:** Wow. I mean, thanks for that. It's nice when people notice that sort of thing, and I'll try to keep everything in balance.

**Rika-chan24: **Hello, Rika-chan, and thanks for reviewing. Did you really read my story in an hour? Well, I suppose I need to write more then. I'm glad you like my story, and I will definitely keep updating as long as you keep reading.

**harlequin320:** Did you like this chapter as well? Anyway, thanks for reviewing, and glad you liked it.

**9tailedokami16x:** Thanks, er, elder demon. Good to know that my chapters are, well, good.

**Nero Strauss:** You know, I think you may be right. Shino is just so quiet. If it wasn't for the bugs, you might even forget that he was even there. I bet he'd have an amazing reaction to her secret. Or maybe... Hmmm... It's something to think about, so thanks. I'm actually a little scared to put Deidara and Naruto together in the same chapter. There's only so much blonde craziness that a person can take... which is exactly why I think it might be a good idea. I like your suggestions, and I'll probably use them. I'm not quite sure what the name of the emotion is that you're talking about, but it is a good thing, I think. Anyway, thanks for the comments and for reviewing.

**narachan:** Yes, poor, poor Shikamaru. He's been denied, and not even intentionally on Naruto's part. Seriously, Kotone keeps interrupting, not that she means to. Awesome as always? Well, thanks for the compliment, and for waiting patiently. I hope this chapter was worth it, Nara-chan.

**Shinigami's-Neko-Gaki:** Wow, you are a little scary, not that I mind at all. But, you do have one thing wrong. Ozuru and Katsutoshi are not like Orochimaru and Kabuto in that manner... Oh my god. Their names even start with the same letters. That's a little scary. I swear it wasn't on purpose, though.

**blucross:** Yeah, you probably should feel sorry for Shikamaru. I mean, I feel sorry for what I'm putting him through, and I'm the one writing this stuff. I still plan to add more guys to flirt with Naruto, though. The more the merrier, and the more annoyed Shikamaru will act. It would have been cute if they fell asleep in each other's arms, but, sadly, it was not to be. Maybe in a later chapter.

**Sillvog: **Yep, a possible villain, possibly. But, he might not be bad, either. You'll just have to keep reading to find out. And, no, Shikamaru will not catch a break anytime soon. Why, you ask? Because I'm evil like that. I'm glad that you're enjoying the chapters, and I hope this one makes you laugh as well.

**Midori Ookami:** Well, Midori, this is the first time that you've reviewed, isn't it? So, thanks. Sorry it took me so long to update, but things have been busy with finals and all. Please keep reading and reviewing.

**1m-pr1n7:** Wow, you're new to reviewing, too, aren't you? I appreciate it, and I'm glad that you like the story. It's nice to hear.

**krystal: **Good and good. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I added in a bunch of Shika/Naru fluff. It's rather nice, if I may say so myself.

**babycandydusk:** The fan art you made is completely awesome. It's a new milestone for me. Someone actually made a fan art from my story. You wouldn't believe the retarded grin I had on my face when I saw what you drew. I hope you didn't mind, but I added it in to the story, sort of. It really was his dream. So... THANK YOU!

**Reenan Lefey:** Thanks. I do try to keep the characters in, well, character. While I understand if people want to express different sides and emotions of characters, sometimes people just go too far.

**hana-chan:** That... is one of the best things to read in a review. There must be millions of stories on this site, and you said that this is the best story you ever read. And, while that may not be strictly true, it's still great to read. So, really, thanks.

**lilanimefan247**: Glad you like it.


	13. Nettlesome Ninjas

**!*!*! PAY ATTENTION ... 주의 ...Attende !*!*!**

**Disclaimer: **Does Naruto hate ramen and the color orange? The answer to that is... Hell no! Well, that's also the answer to whether or not I own Naruto or any of it's characters. Read on, my fellow ramen lovers. Read on. **  
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Kotone led then over to the man who was leaning on the tree, and, now that they were close, Shikamaru could really take in his appearance.

His face was covered in scars, big and little, superficial and deep. They looked old, like they belonged to his past. He also had a white strip of cloth bound over his eyes. Only one conclusion could be drawn from that, since people didn't usually walk around blinded for fun. He was blind. It was a dangerous and difficult life being a shinobi, but to be blind and one… few managed it, and most of them died. The man also had dark, prematurely grey hair that spiked up like horns or cat ears. Those, together with the fact he was licking a knife, gave him the appearance of a psychopathic cat. He also had a large scroll strapped to his back.

"Shikamaru, Naru-chan, this is Akira. He teaches the younger students at the academy."

Shikamaru stared. Akira looked sadistic, questionably sane, and looked like he could give Anko a run for her money on the crazy scale. It was not the type of person he would imagine parents wanting their children around. Well, that was, unless they wanted their children to either be eaten, scarred for life, or to grow up to be mass murderers.

Akira grinned, showing sharp-looking canines. "Hello, Kotone. How… nice to meet you, Shikamaru, Naru-chan." His grin was the farthest thing from comforting, and his voice sounded like gravel being run though a blender. Akira gestured for them to step closer. "I can tell where you two are, but I can't see what you two look like. Can I feel you?"

Shikamaru glanced at Kotone, and she nodded, as if she wasn't telling them to step into arms reach of a man who looked like he ate people's internal organs for breakfast… raw.

Akira raised his hands and ran his calloused digits over Shikamaru's cheeks, nose, face hair, and upper body. Finally, his hands dropped to his sides and he said, "Got it. Do you know your head is shaped like a pineapple?"

Shikamaru twitched. Why were so many of the shinobi he met bastards?

"It does look a little like a pineapple," Naruto admitted, "but I like it."

Was that a positive thing or not? It was hard to tell.

Akira reached out and grabbed Naruto's hand, pulling her closer, and then proceeded to run his fingers over her lips, face, and hair.

Shikamaru shook his head as he felt an irrational twinge of jealousy. The guy was blind! He was simply seeing what they looked like. Now, he was just being paranoid that guys were hitting on Naruto.

Suddenly, Akira's hands slipped lower, and Naruto emitted a squeak as Akira gave her breasts a quick squeeze. "Oops. Sorry. Blind, remember?" he said before Shikamaru could kill him. While his features were schooled into a mask of contriteness, his voice was evilly gleeful.

Naruto seemed to accept this excuse. "It's okay," she said, crimson cheeked. Shikamaru grabbed her hand and drew her back from the sightless groper. Akira seemed to sense Shikamaru's agitation and Kotone's disapproving gaze, and his grin widened.

Before anything else could be said, they were interrupted. "Kotone! You came down to visit us! It's been too long since I saw you!" The exuberant speaker was the almost naked woman who had been fighting earlier. She had long warm, brown hair with a red stripe in it, bright green eyes, and a figure even curvier than Naruto's, which was on display.

Does that even qualify as clothing? He was pretty sure it didn't, yet she seemed to think it did.

Bandages were wrapped around her generous chest, along with the smallest vest ever created. She also sported arm warmers and a very short skirt, slit up the sides. As she walked, or rather, bounced, over the eyes of every man, save Akira, although his face was turned towards her, were trained on her.

"You saw her the day before yesterday, Etsu," a flat voice said.

Shikamaru blinked as they stood in front of them, side by side. They were the same, yet completely different. The second woman looked just like the first except that her hair was short, cut off abruptly at her chin, it had a blue streak, and she was wearing a black tank top with a fish net shirt over it and standard black shinobi pants. She also didn't have the same carefree and slightly crazed look as Etsu, who Shikamaru guessed was her twin. This woman was clearly all business.

"Hello, Kotone," she said, greeting the younger girl warmly.

"Hello, Masago." Kotone turned to Shikamaru and Naruto. "This is Etsu and Masago. They're jounin senseis in the village. Etsu, Masago, these is my good friend from the hidden leaf village, and her boyfriend, Shikamaru."

Masago smiled and bowed to each of them politely. "Welcome to our village."

Etsu was less restrained in her welcome. She immediately pounced on Naruto. "You're adorable!" She hugged Naruto tightly. "I could just eat you up!"

Several men, and one woman, present fainted from massive nosebleeds. The two women together, and the way they were hugging was making their clothes rise up, revealing smooth, creamy skin, and there was what Etsu had said, which could be taken several different ways.

Shikamaru fumed. Arousing though the image of them was, he did not need women chasing Naruto, too. Really, why didn't the whole town just hit on her? No, he couldn't think like that. He might jinx something. Besides, it seemed like the entire shinobi populace was doing it already.

Then, Etsu turned and hugged Shikamaru. "You're cute, too!"

Okay, so maybe Etsu wasn't so bad. Not that he was biased or anything.

Masago pulled her sister off of him. "I'm sorry, "she apologized. "She was dropped on her head as a child."

"I was not!"

"Yes, you were."

"Really? That explains so much."

Even Naruto seemed to think this reaction was strange. Then Etsu bounced over to Akira. "So, are you taking any bets?"

Akira nodded, licking his knife in a highly perturbing manner. "Most bets are for Masago's team to win their matches."

Masago gave a small, proud smile, and Etsu pouted before exclaiming, "I'll bet my entire last mission's earnings on Tori beating Nagisa!"

Kotone, Akira, and Masago just shook their heads.

"First off, although Tori is good, I'm pretty sure that Nagisa is going to win, and secondly, when you bet on someone, they always lose. Either you curse them, or you've got the worst luck ever. I'm happy to take your money, though," Akira said, looking more like a crooked money-lender than a ninja who taught children.

"Are you betting on the fights?" Naruto asked. They nodded. "But… but that's horrible. Matches and sparing should be about training to become stronger and more skilled so that they can protect their loved ones, and you should be focusing on that, not betting on them."

Shikamaru knew where she was coming from. She was so serious about training, and, even though she had long forgiven him, she still remembered that Kakashi's attention had been, for the most part, divided between two things: Icha Icha and Sasuke. And then, the Great Toad Sage had split his time between being a super pervert and teaching Naruto.

Akira, Etsu, and Masago were staring at her. "What sort of ninja have you met? He sounds unreal. Most of the shinobi I've met are twisted in one way or another, and I don't think any of them think like that. I'd like to meet this guy… so I can corrupt him." Everyone sweat dropped at Akira's words.

Naruto looked stubborn. "He is real!"

She obviously didn't like being told that her ideals, and himself, no, herself, weren't real. Man, things were getting confusing.

Using the chakra earrings that Naruto had created, he said, "_Cool it, and stop being so troublesome. You're supposed to be a civilian_."

She looked sheepish suddenly, but no one seemed to notice.

"While I appreciate and agree with your ideals, more often than not, ninja are like these two," Masago said, jerking her head at her sister and Akira.

Akira slung an arm around Naruto, hand landing dangerously close to her breast, and said, "Don't worry, Naru-chan I'll show you how a real ninja is."

That was it. He was going to at least maim the blind bastard. He didn't care if he was blind. And Naruto was even smiling at him.

Thankfully, a distraction came. Sadly, at least for Shikamaru's stress levels, it came in the form of Yukio. He came running up and hid behind, of all people, Shikamaru, although that was probably because he was closest.

"Save me! She's an evil witch."

The evil witch of which he spoke came stomping up, eyes narrowed in annoyance. She looked like Yukio, except that her hair was long and pulled up in high pigtails, almost like Naruto's, and she was older, probably around fourteen. She wore a high-necked dress that reminded him of the one Sakura wore when she was younger, except that it was a deep murky green and had long flaring sleeves which he suspected hid a multitude of weapons. She was also, he noted vaguely and in a completely unperverted way for once, noted that she was pretty. She was also scowling. "Yukio! Get back here! You promised that you would practice your taijutsu. You can't just rely on ninjutsu and your skill with seals to become a good shinobi!"

Yukio's voice came from behind Shikamaru, "I promised to practice, and I will… I just didn't say when, Nagisa."

So this was the Nagisa they had been talking about earlier. Yukio's comment seemed to enrage Nagisa further. "Get over here, now!"

"Never! I want to liiive!"

Nagisa looked Shikamaru straight in the eyes. "Move, please."

He shrugged, stepping to the side and leaving Yukio's exposed. It wasn't Shikamaru's business, and it would have been troublesome to get in between them. Plus, he was still annoyed at the kid for the comments about the size of Naruto's breasts.

"Traitor!" Yukio yelled at Shikamaru as Nagisa grabbed him by the collar and lifted him into the air. Shikamaru was a little surprised that no one was intervening. Akira, Etsu, and Masago were watching with amusement, and only Kotone looked upset.

"Don't hurt him, Nagisa."

"I won't, lady Kotone," Nagisa said respectfully before turning back to Yukio, who was still in the air and slowly turning blue. "Now, you are going to practice today, aren't you, Otouto?" she asked, voice eerily similar to Akira's. He nodded weakly, and she set him down. "Good, you know I'm just doing this because I love you, right?" He nodded, apparently too scared of his older sister to actually formulate a response. "Oh, and this is for making me hunt you down," she added, and flicked him on the forehead with a force that made him fall over.

Shikamaru shivered, suddenly glad he didn't have an older sister. He just had his mom, and she only nagged him.

"Don't you think that was just a little harsh?" Masago asked.

Nagisa looked down, instantly apologetic. "Yes, sorry, sensei. I'll try to control my temper better."

Meanwhile, Yukio was still laying on the ground. Naruto knelt down next to him. "Are you okay?"

Arms shot up and curled around Naruto's neck. "Your boyfriend is mean. He sold me out! He handed me over to her. If I had died, it would have been on his head!"

Shikamaru felt his stomach sink slightly as Naruto shot him a reproachful look.

Yukio waggled his eyebrows at Shikamaru, as if to say, "Take that."

Must not kill. He'd get in trouble if he killed the kid and it would blow his cover. It was also morally and ethically wrong, too, of course. Yeah, that too.

Naruto stood up, Yukio still attached to her. He rubbed the spot where his sister had flicked him, and said to Naruto, "Kiss it and make it better?"

Smiling in a slightly motherly way, Naruto pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.

Shikamaru twitched… again, something that was happening with increasing frequency. He hadn't even gotten kissed yet, and he was supposed to be her boyfriend. Her fake boyfriend, that was, for the mission.

Etsu and Masago seemed to be fighting again; Kotone was shooting him significant looks, and Nagisa was staring at Naruto in a decidedly analyzing manner.

Akira elbowed Shikamaru in the ribs. "She your girlfriend?"

"Yes."

"Ah… Well, you better watch out. Someone might steal her away." Before Shikamaru could ask what exactly he meant, Akira asked, "What color is her hair?"

"Blonde…"

Akira smiled his psychopath-who-works-with-children smile and said, "Even better. Bye." And then he disappeared in a burst of warm mist.

Shikamaru slouched forward. That was one person he could live without seeing again. He reminded him of a horrible amalgamation of Anko and Ibiki with a touch of Kakashi. Unfortunately, he had the feeling that he would be seeing Akira again soon. Things like this were too bothersome.

Shikamaru turned his attention back to the present in time to hear Nagisa say to Naruto, "I don't like you."

Well, she was certainly blunt.

Naruto turned expressive blue eyes towards Nagisa. She was annoyed, confused, and sad by the sudden statement, but not hurt. She'd heard so much worse in from the people in her own village. "What? Why?"

"Because you're babying my brother." Nagisa's face turned red as she added, "And your boobs are too big!"

And so the truth comes out. Female jealousy. Why was everyone focusing on Naruto's boobs? Not that they weren't big, and soft, and warm and perky… Shikamaru firmly stopped his train of thought before he had to run back, find the shower, and take a cold one.

Yukio grinned. "They're huge, right?" He turned to Naruto," She's just jealous because she's flatter than a board.

"I'm going to kill you!" Nagisa raged. Naruto shoved Yukio behind her and away from his sister, who looked as though she was going to rip off his head barehanded, or at the very least, throw him head first into a tree. "Move out of the way, you big-boobed blonde!"

Shikamaru frowned. There was nothing in that sentence that wasn't true, but that was just rude. He moved to step forward, to intervene and defend Naruto, but she shot him a look and, almost imperceptibly shook her head. The message was clear; she wanted to deal with Nagisa herself. Shikamaru sighed and sat back to watch.

Naruto scowled, eyes narrowed, and glared at Nagisa. "Stop acting like such a brat, and get your emotions under control! You can't just say and do whatever you feel like," she snapped.

Shikamaru hid a grin. She was one to talk. More than half of what she did seemed based on emotions and what she felt.

Naruto continued, voice passionate, "You'll get yourself and your team in trouble if you keep acting like this. What were you going to do if I didn't move? Make me? I'm a civilian. You're supposed to protect us, not threaten us. You're a ninja. Act like one!" Although Nagisa was the same height as Naruto, Naruto seemed to tower over the younger girl.

Yukio, what had been snickering at his sister's tongue lashing, yelped as Naruto turned on him. "And you! You need to practice, just like your sister said. What if you're fighting an enemy, and you can't stop them because you aren't strong enough? What if that enemy goes on to kill the people that you love, and you can only watch because you're weak? You've got to practice and try to get stronger to protect your special people."

Now both siblings looked sufficiently cowed, and were standing in front of Naruto, heads bowed.

Naruto's face softened, and she said gently to Yukio, "Promise to practice right after the fights are over?" He nodded. "Good. Oh, one more thing. Girls really admire strong ninja." With that, she kissed him on the cheeks and motioned for him to run along, which he did, after brightening up considerably at her comment.

"Got it! You're right, Naruto! I have to get strong to protect the people I care about… and to get the girls!"

Shikamaru sighed as Yukio trotted off, although not without throwing a glare at the lazy genius. Naruto had inspired another up-and-coming shinobi, maybe not for all of the right reasons, but some of them at least.

Now, only Nagisa stood there, shifting from foot to foot. "Nagisa…"

The girl tensed visibly, anticipating another tongue-lashing.

"Nagisa… I'm sorry. I should not have gone off on you like that. Not to say what I said isn't true."

She stared at Naruto, eyes wide.

Naruto smiled. "It's just that you remind me of a girl I know, and, trust me, she could've gotten a lot more done just being nicer. People would have liked her better, too. You know what I'm saying?" Nagisa nodded, "Yes." "So, are we… okay?" She nodded again, and Naruto's grin slipped back onto her face. "Great! I think they're calling you for your match." She lowered her voice, "Oh, and don't worry about having a small chest. First of all, I doubt it's an advantage in a fight, and, secondly, you'll probably get one in a few years."

The look on Nagisa's face was almost ludicrous. "Really?" she asked hopefully. "You got huge breasts all of the sudden?"

"Er… Yeah. I guess you could say I got them overnight," Naruto said, a funny expression on her face.

Shikamaru choked on his laughter, eliciting strange looks. Thanks to the Kyuubi, Naruto really had gotten her figure overnight… and that was still slightly disturbing to think about.

Nagisa, looking much happier, actually smiled at Naruto, and turned around without a word, to the center of the practice ground, where people were waiting.

Naruto finally noticed that Shikamaru, Kotone, Etsu, and Masago, who had stopped fighting, although Shikamaru couldn't figure out what the twins had been fighting about in the first place, were staring at her. She smiled sheepishly and scratched her head. "Sorry."

Masago shook her head. "You don't have anything to apologize for... You did that rather well. I approve. I've got to go, since my student is fighting."

Etsu beamed at Naruto. "You'd make a great mother!" And then she followed her sister.

That one statement sent dozens of thoughts and images swirling around Shikamaru's mind. Naruto would make a great mom, but to have children, you had to… He shook his head.

Kotone was watching him, an amused smile on her face, and he had the eerie idea that she knew what he was thinking. He cleared his throat hurriedly and turned his attention to the fight, which was about to start.

Hopefully, watching the fight wouldn't be too troublesome.

* * *

Okay... Ummm... Shit. I know you are all probably pretty pissed at me, but, before you decide to hand to over to Ibiki for a nice long torture session or decide to do it yourself, hear my out. I stopped posting chapters, but I didn't stop writing. That might be a little confusing. Let me clear it up a bit by saying that I was abducted. Okay... Still not clearing it up. Some might notice that the time I stopped posting and posted this chapter roughly coincide with summer. The reason? I was abducted by my parents. I'm not joking. We spent all summer either camping or at a place in the mountains with virtually no electricity, so I couldn't post anything. I still wrote, though, on a piece of paper, but it was a little difficult since I couldn't go back and cross check anything. It's going to take a few chapters to get me back on track, but please bear with me. So, I guess what I'm really saying is... I'm back and please don't kill me?

Oh, one more thing before I forget. I drew and painted a sketch of Akira, if anyone wants to see it. It's on my deviant art account.

Ja ne_,_

_Rumer Hasit_

* * *

**Lily887787:** Yes, Lily, Naruto did indeed write those new Icha Icha books. She's the Toad Sage's apprentice in more ways than one.

**Reenan lefey:** Yep. Naruto is indeed Ren. Humph. I made it clear, didn't I? I mean, I didn't think I made it that clear, but all you guys seem to have gotten it, so... Yeah.

**Midori Ookami:** Yeah, that chapter was really fun to write. I just love writing, period, actually. So, really, all of the chapters are fun to write. Although, some are more fun to write than others. Anyway, I'm glad you liked the chapter.

**UlricGriever:** Wow. Seriously? You think this is the best Shika/Naru story you've read in half a year? Wow. I mean, thank you. I'm glad you think that.

**Ice Cold Steel:** Thanks for finding the mistake when I wrote shoji instead of shogi. I'll go back and fix that. And as for me being Japanese... What do you think? Am I? Yes! You were my one hundreth reviewer! Thank you for that. I really do like your reviews. Shikamaru is indeed getting pretty creative... and perverted. Unfortunately, he would be far too lazy to join up with Jiraiya and write a book. Besides, Shikamaru's seems only to be really attracted to Naruto. Maybe I'll draw a picture of Shikamaru with his hair down... Anyway, I've been putting Shikamaru throught a lot of stuff... and it's just going to get worse. I probably should let him watch clouds again soon, shouldn't I? I'll have to so he doesn't go completely bonkers any time soon. Oh, and, yes, Naruto is Ren. Sorry for not posting for a while, but I got abducted by aliens, I mean, my parents. I'll be able to write more now.

**9tailedokami16x**: Glad you liked it.

**Nero Strauss:** Yeah, Kazuo kind of deserved being punched, and Shikamaru needed to get some stress out of his system. And, you're totally right. I imagine Hinata and Shino would probably have the most interesting reactions to Naruto really being a girl. I can't wait to write those scenes. I do bet that Ino would be happy to see Shikamaru in a relationship. She'd probably start squealing or something.

**hana-chan:** Well, I'm ecstatic that you think this is one of the best stories you've ever read, and I'm going to continue writing it. Sorry I stopped for so long.

**SweetHunniiBunnii**: Shikamaru is indeed protective of Naruto. I'm pretty sure that he wants to lock her away in a tower with access to no one but him. Yep. That's protective. You were wondering about the end scene with the guy licking the knife? Well, I think I explained it. Oh, and you'll be seeing more of him in a later chapter.

**Shinigami's-Neko-Gaki:** I worry for Shikamaru's sanity as well, which isn't really fair, since I'm the one putting him through all of this. Maybe he'll have a happy ending, but only after a lot of troublesome stuff.

**putu:** Yeah, I seem to be better at writing fluffy stuff than serious action scenes, which is a little odd, considering my gender, but hey, as long as you like what I write, I'm cool with it.

**Rika-chan24:** Sorry that I didn't really update for a while... a long while. Crud. I feel bad. Well, I should be able to update pretty regularly now.

**narachan:** Of course Kotone would be the one to see that Shikamaru likes Naruto. For some reason, it seems like females are a lot more... they get stuff that guys just don't. You know what I mean? Anyway, glad you liked the last chapter.

**bloodybeth:** Seriously? I converted you into a Shika/Naru fan? My job is done. As for the two options of whether I'm an amazing freak that can make a great story on my first try or this is really just the first story I've put up. Let's go with number one, although the truth is that I just write a lot. A lot. Anyway, glad you like it. ;)

**serenamoonrose:** Thank you. I really hope it made you laugh.

**harlequin320:** Jealous Shikamaru really is great, isn't it?

**Silver Elysion:** Wow. You read all of the chapters in under an hour? You must be a very quick reader. I do try to put thought into my characters and everyone says my writing style is light humor. Glad you like it.

**blucross:** You really don't like Kakashi, do you? But, I do think that Kazuo deserved that punch. He is a bit of a pervert.

**PoisonAndSugar**: You... normally hate femNaru stories? But, I've changed your mind! Awesome! And you love my story? Great! I hope you keep reading.

**Slyther88:** I think that might be the first time anyone's likened my story to something edible. I'm glad you compared it to something as delicious as chocolate. Oh, and your spelling doesn't suck at all. It's really good.

**almp15:** Once Shikamaru and Naruto get back to the village. Once they're there, the secret will definitely get out.

**Dibria:** Glad you like the story. Man, I am seriously sorry that it's been so long since I last updated, though.

**Rumerfan:** Getting better and better, eh? Well, it's nice that you think so. Oh, and I like your username.

**dhh:** Okay. Well, you don't need to read my story then. Good bye.

**PZldfn:** Thanks. It's nice to know that people like my work. I like the pairing, too. The brilliant and lazy Shikamaru seems to balance well with the... not so brilliant yet incredibly hyper Naruto. They balance each other out. Thanks for reassuring me about the other, highly unpleasant, reviewer. It's nice of you. But, I don't plan to quite writing because of any harassment or anything like that. They can hate Shika/Naru stories if they want to. Anyway, thanks.

**UnstableFable:** Okay, just as you asked for. More Yukio. More awesome little dude. He is pretty cool, isn't he? What do you think of his sister? Frankly, she scares me.

**KatelySmiling:** Okay, I swear that everyone will find out about Naruto when she gets back to her village, yeah?

**mycroft216:** Unique? Thank you. I hope that I can put enough twists on this story to keep it from being a cliche. And I do love alliteration in the titles. It's fun. Oh, by the way. I like your username. Very Sherlock Holmes, except his more gifted brother, right?

**An Udar:** Kami, I'm really sorry. I know it's been a while since I last posted (abducted). I'll try my best to get the story moving again, okay?

**Muaji:** Thank you for pointing out that plot hole. I'll try to go back and fix it up when I have time. It is a bit of a problem.

**xhiibax:** It makes you laugh? That's all I need to hear. That's the entire purpose of my story. I just love making people laugh.

**Babyuknowme13:**Oh, my god! You didn't just call Kazuo that. Well, I did kind of have him in mind when I had Kazuo say those lines, but still. That thing (Golum?) Creeps me out. We both agree that Shika is completely awesome, though. I'm sorry I haven't updated for you sooner, Baby, but here it is and I hope you enjoy it.

**chiichaan:** I... am honored. It is indeed a great honor to hear my story mentioned in the same word as Orange, let alone be compared to it. I thank you.

**Wiccachick2000**: I do try to keep things in my story at least slightly believable, even though we're talking about ninjas and demons. Thank you for putting me on your alert list.

**Regin:** You like, lust, love? Now, do you mean my story or me? *Wriggles eyebrows suggestively*

**Sillvog**: Yes, you are right. Naruto is Ren. Can you believe that he's actually writing that stuff and is good at it? She truly is a ninja of many talents. Like eating copious amounts of ramen.

**Kyery:** Thanks and thanks. I agree with you that there aren't nearly enough Shika/Naru pairing stories. Jeez, they all are Sasu/Naru. I have no idea why...

**Tryptophan36:** I know. Several people have pointed out that mistake. I'll go back and rectify it.

**rochchen:** I'm glad you like the story. I thought it would be me interesting to have Naruto's gender switch suddenly rather than hiding it since birth. The whole switching gender allows for a bunch more trouble and weirdness, which I am always a fan of. Darn it! I know about the mistake with the proof reading thing. I will go back and fix it as soon as I have time. I swear. And, yes, it's going to be a little before Tsunade knows Naruto's secret, but hopefully you'll still be reading when that happens.


	14. Vexatious Violence

**!*!*! PAY ATTENTION... CYFLOG SYLW... chú ý !*!*!**

**Disclaimer: **Does Rock Lee wear green spandex? Yes, yes he does. That's how you know I own no part of Naruto. Now that that's out of the way, read on my friends and enjoy this weirdness.

* * *

Nagisa stood a few yards away from another girl who Shikamaru assumed to be Tori.

Etsu looked down at the two. "Okay, are you two ready?"

Twin nods greeted this statement.

"Good. Now I want you two to just spar using Taijutsu. No ninjutsu. I don't want to have to ask for the training grounds to be refitted. Three times in one week is just too much," Masago said, sighing.

Tori, a pretty girl dressed in questionably tasteful clothes that consisted of very little fabric, asked, "Can we use weapons?"

"Yes. Now, ready?"

Nods again.

Etsu and Masago stepped away from their prospective students, back to Naruto and the rest, and then Masago yelled, "Begin!"

For a moment, neither girl moved. Bodies tense, they eyed each other. Then, Tori sprang into action, sprinting forwards towards Nagisa.

Nagisa barely had time to react as a fist came hurtling towards her chest. Training and skill kicked in as she let the fist get within range and then she slid her arms up, hands catching Tori's wrist and stopping it with a jolt. Three gleaming steel tips quivered, inches away from penetrating her skin.

Tori held three kunai between her fingers like claws.

Shikamaru's eyes widened fractionally. Nagisa could have been seriously injured. Wasn't this merely supposed to be sparing? This was more serious than any genin sparring he remembered in Konoha.

Before Tori could take advantage of the fact both of Nagisa's hands were occupied, Nagisa jerked Tori forward harshly, using her momentum to flip over her. Then, Nagisa kicked the other girl in the back hard, propelling her away from Tori. Still in mid-air, she flung out her hand and a shuriken sped along a deadly arc to Tori.

At the last moment, Tori dropped, hugging the ground, and the sharp projectile passed harmlessly overhead, only to imbed itself in a tree, inches away from a horrified ninja's face who looked as though he would faint any second.

The fight went on.

Nagisa unleashed a flurry of well placed punches, and Tori stumbled back, winded and clutching her chest.

She glared at Nagisa. "Just because you've got no chest doesn't mean you need to flatten mine! Jealous, much?"

This comment got several kunai launched at her. One nicked her cheek, and blood dripped down it. "I'm not flat!" Nagisa yelled. "Anyways, it'll be fine in a few years. Sadly, the same can't be said for your face. A few more years won't help it. It'll just get worse, if that's possible. I don't think anything would help it, except a bag to cover it up."

It wasn't just a sparring match, Shikamaru decided. It was also a cat-fight, and it bore a striking resemblance to the fights Ino and Sakura had had, except less annoying, more dangerous, and they were actually fighting instead of standing around screaming at each other.

To his left, a group of boys and girls were yelling encouragement to their favorites, and also placing bets, of course.

Tori dashed forward with a scream of fury. She lashed out with a kunai. Steel met steel with a flash of sparks and the harsh clang of metal on metal. Red blossomed on Nagisa's clothing from a glancing blow, and then, simultaneously, they knocked the weapons out of each others hands. They turned back to hand to hand combat. Punches, kicks, elbows, and knees flew in a blur.

Shikamaru was pretty sure he saw some biting, too.

Suddenly, Tori dropped down with a sweeping kick, only to stop mid-kick and switch direction to aim for Nagisa's head.

But, with a pleased smirk, Nagisa caught her leg firmly. She'd been expecting it. She threw Tori by her leg into the hard packed dirt ground viciously, and was on her before Tori could get up. Within a fraction of a second, she sat on Tori's back, one hand gripping the immobilized girl's arm behind her, the slightest pressure causing excruciating pain, and her other hand holding a glinting kunai to Tori's throat.

"Give up?" Nagisa asked.

Tori didn't answer, instead staying stubbornly silent, a sulky expression on her face.

Nagisa pressed the blade harder against Tori's throat, and a faint red line appeared. "Give up or die." It wasn't a question this time; it was a statement.

Still reluctant, Tori said, "I give up."

Nagisa sprang up off of her, almost gauntly, and was immediately surrounded by people.

Shikamaru was still staring. What the hell. That couldn't have been a friendly sparing match. What did a death match look like then? This made what they did in Konoha look like play.

Masago noticed his shock. "Don't worry," she assured him. "We could have intervened if it had gotten out of hand, and the girls know the difference between an enemy and a friend. They weren't actually trying to kill each other."

He wasn't too sure about that last part. He was pretty sure that he'd heard threats of ripping out intestines and then choking the other person with them. That didn't sound like exactly friendly. But, he could have been mistaken. Then again, he was a genius, therefore seldom wrong. Well, that and the fact that you'd have to be a complete and utter idiot to think that someone threatening to disembowel you meant they wanted to be friends. Right…

"Your students are learning quickly, Masago, Etsu. Especially young Nagisa. I have no doubt that she will became a highly skilled shinobi under your tutelage, Masago." Came a familiar voice. It was Takeshi.

Masago blushed faintly, and looked down, something that Shikamaru had the feeling didn't happen often. "Thank you, Takeshi-sama," she sounded almost shy.

That didn't feel right. Masago seemed like a no nonsense type of woman. Then it dawned on Shikamaru. Masago had feelings for Takeshi. The whole damn village seemed like a mash of love, assassination plots, perversion, death threats, and kami knows what else. Shikamaru firmly pulled his attention back to the spar that was going on.

After an hour, and several more sparring matches, most of the fighting was over, and almost everyone had settled down and were eating at one big picnic. There had been several impressive genin, including a boy who defeated his opponent with whip-like movements, a girl who fought on all fours part of the time, and a boy who none of the other students would fight.

Now, all he wanted to do was stare at some clouds and think about what he had learned. Seeing that Naruto was talking to Kotone and there didn't appear to be any perverts about, Shikamaru threw some food in a napkin and sneaked off, intent on finding somewhere to watch clouds in peace.

It didn't take long to find a spot, either. It was a small glad, little more than a gap between tree trunks above which the small the sky showed through their leaves, far enough away from the other shinobi that their loud, energetic voices were muffled to a soft drone. He plopped down on the thick moss carelessly, and gazed up at the sky. Wisps of clouds rolled by over the blue sky. Shikamaru studied them thoughtfully, once in a while taking a bite of the food he'd brought with him.

There was a lot to think about. First and for most, the assassination attempt. He had several possible suspects, and absolutely no proof. What was more, he had the feeling that poking around for answers would not help. Whoever wanted Kotone dead was someone he knew, was watching them all closely, and was meticulous.

Another think to think about was the issue of genin and the academy. He had no doubt that the majority of them would give genin from Konoha a run for their money. Plus, he'd noticed that after their spars, a medic nin had been there to heal any injuries.

Takeshi took in any ninja who wished to live in the Yugakure. No, more than that. He was actively going out, finding Shinobi in trouble, and giving them a new home, a sanctuary. He was getting different skill sets, techniques, and bloodlines from those people, too. The Yugakure had everything necessary to become a strong, and potentially dangerous, ninja village. If they turned on the hidden leaf village, it could be disastrous, and that was exactly the sort of thing that might happen if Kotone was murdered while under their protection.

Shikamaru groaned.

Lady Tsunade was not going to like this, and when she didn't like something, sake, well more sake than usual, and fists were involved. Fists meant injuries, which meant bruises and pain, and not even the type of injuries to keep him off missions, just the type to be troublesome and annoying. The whole situation was annoying and troublesome… almost. There was one good thing about the situation and that was that he got to spend time with Naruto. Naruto was, of course, highly abnormal, but also fun to be around, kind, a good person, and not just a pretty face, although she did have a pretty face. More than just a pretty face, in fact. She also seemed to be a bit of a pervert magnet. First Kakashi, then the great toad sage, and now Kazuo and the rest. He wasn't on the pervert list… yet.

A pair of soft footsteps sounded, almost unnoticeable on the soft ground, and he opened his eyes, alert behind half closed lids. It was the person occupying his thoughts.

"How did you find me?" he asked. The spot he'd chosen was fairy secluded, and his chakra signature was hidden.

Naruto tapped the chakra earring that she had created, and both of them wore. "They're connected, so it leads me right to you."

Yep. She was definitely an idiot savant, much smarter than she let on about certain things, though.

She sat down next to him. "Hisoka showed up, and Kotone's surrounded by some ninjas she told me she'd trust with her life, so she told me to go and spend some time with my boyfriend, since it might look a little off that I never left her side."

Shikamaru's brain barely processed anything after "spend time with my boyfriend." Fake boyfriend, he reminded himself sternly. Naruto lay down on the ground beside him, and because of how the ground slanted because of the tree roots, her body pressed against his, warmth radiating from her sun kissed skin.

He silently thanked nature, and the trees almost seemed to rustle in reply. Maybe that was one more reason he liked her; she reminded him of the sun and the sky.

"Hey, Shika?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah?"

"I know I shouldn't say this, because we're on a mission, and it's serious, but this is really nice. Do you want to like hang out when we get back to Konoha?"

"That sounds troublesome…" he started to say, and felt her tense up and edge away, and then he finished, "But I'd like that."

"Really? Great!"

Shikamaru looked at her.

She was grinning hugely, and he suspected that she was trying not to punch the air in victory. Now was the perfect opportunity to kiss her, but he didn't want to mess anything up, and, besides, if he tried anything, Kotone would somehow interrupt.

So, instead he let her use his shoulder as a pillow, and idly messed with her long, blonde hair, as they watched the clouds drift by overhead. Everything was utterly peaceful, and almost lazy.

That was, until a scream pierced the air.

Shikamaru jumped to his feet and ran after Naruto, who was already speeding through the trees. He cursed silently. Couldn't the universe just give him a few minutes of peace without someone getting killed? It wasn't too much to ask for, was it? Apparently, it was.

For a moment, he wondered what it would be like to be a civilian, because, while he did like it, being a ninja was completely, entirely, totally troublesome.

* * *

Okay, here's another chapter of the story. Sorry it took so long, but I'm still getting things back together. Anyway, hope you all enjoy it. Oh, and I'm sending review replies back the way I'm supposed to. Unfortunately, some people either don't sign in when they review or don't have an account. I know I've been told that I might get in trouble for putting my review replies up here, but I don't want to leave anyone out.

Ja ne,

_Rumer Hasit_

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**Silver Ghost**: Thank you, thank you, and thank you. I do try to keep my character fairly close to the original in terms of personality. The only major change I thin I've made it obvious. Naruto is now a female. I also try to make sure that the story is well written in terms of punctuation and spelling. The review thing has been taken care of for the most part as well. It was getting a bit long. Anyway, glad you liked it.

**Unimportant**: Best one that you've read about Shikamaru and Naruto? Well, that's high praise and I'm glad to accept it. Thank you very much. I'll try to make sure that Shikamaru gets a little more loving as well, since you requested it. He does seem to be off his game, if he has one. Thanks for reviewing.

**KatelySmiling:** Yep. I'm back. Glad you missed me. I hope this update is soon enough for you.

**Nara-chan:** It's nice to know that my story is worth the wait, even if the wait was annoyingly long. Sorry about that again. And, yes, I had a pretty good time in the mountains and camping with my family. I still missed the computer though... Anyway, I hope you like this chapter.

**hana-chan:** Yes. I finally updated. A miracle, right? And here's the next chapter for your viewing pleasure.


	15. Irritating Information

**!*!*! PAY ATTENTION... UPPMARKSAMMA... கவனம் செலுத்த !*!*!**

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Naruto, nor any of its characters or plot twists. If I did, several awesome people would never have died, or if they did, they would have come back to life as zombies or vampires. Okay, just wanted to make that clear. Read on.**  
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Naruto burst into the clearing that was the training ground and ran over to a group of ninjas clustered around someone.

Shikamaru caught up with her and elbowed his way through the crowd. At its center was Kotone and Hisoka. Shikamaru quickly ran his eyes over everything. Kotone was pale, but apparently untouched, and a kunai was wedged deep into the bark of a tree right behind her.

He cursed softly. It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened. Kotone had been attacked, and they hadn't been there to protect her. What was wrong with them? Him especially. This wasn't a vacation, but a mission, and a very important one at that. They didn't have time to be watching clouds.

Shikamaru watched as Naruto rushed to Kotone's side. "What happened, Kotone?"

Pale and wide-eyed, Kotone answered, "I don't know. I mean, we were just sitting here talking when Hisoka pushed me down, and then I heard the thunk of the kunai. Someone tried to kill me… again." Besides her, Hisoka nodded jerkily, his whole body tense.

Shikamaru spoke up. "Did anyone sense any unknown chakra signals?" As he expected, several quizzical faces turned his way.

"Aren't you a civilian?" someone asked.

Shikamaru shrugged. "I have a friend who's a shinobi, and we talk about stuff." His excuse was accepted at face value, and then everyone shook their heads. No one noticed any unknown chakra. He hadn't really expected anything else. With so many ninja present, the odds of pinpointing an unfamiliar chakra source was slim. Whoever had done this was either stupid, or really brave and knew what they were doing.

Naruto hugged Kotone and then grabbed her hand. "I think we should go home. I'll make you a cup of tea, and you can lie down."

Shikamaru knew what she was really doing. Naruto wanted to get Kotone out of the open.

Kotone nodded numbly.

Hisoka said, "I'm coming with you. Everyone else, search the woods. Whoever did this probably isn't there anymore, but still..." Usually, there would probably have been some annoyance at Hisoka giving orders, but not in this case. They all nodded and vanished into the woods.

Naruto led Kotone away. Hisoka walked at their side, alert to everything, while Shikamaru trailed behind. He'd pulled out the kunai and was turning it over in his hands. It wasn't really a kunai, but it wasn't a senbon, either. But a weird mixture of the two. The end tapered down to a needle sharp point, but the back flattened out, almost like an arrow. On a hunch, he held it by its tip and brought the flattened end down on the leaves of a plant. The leaves fluttered to the ground the ground, neatly cut in half. Okay, so the back and front of the thing functioned as a weapon. How the hell were you supposed to hold the thing in combat without impaling or slicing your hand he wondered.

They were back at Kotone's apartment house, and three minutes later, they were on the top floor. By this time, Kotone was over the shock of being almost being killed… again. "Stop babying me, Naruto. I'm fine," she said, getting up from the chair Naruto had pushed her down into. "Thanks to Hisoka, it didn't even touch me." She paused suddenly, and then said, "I need to go out."

Shikamaru along with everyone else, stared at her. Go out? That's the opposite of what you should do when you almost get killed. What was she thinking?

In answer to the incredulous eyes upon her, Kotone explained, "I take a basket of food to Mrs. Fugiwara every three days. She lives alone, and it's hard for her to get by."

Shikamaru held in a sigh and had the sudden urge to bang his head on the table. The woman is a saint. What's the first step in becoming a saint? Getting killed, probably. Or was that a martyr? It didn't matter. Did Kotone have to make their job even more difficult? He took a look at Kotone's stubborn face. Troublesome… "Fine, I'll go deliver it. Just give me the address."

Kotone looked at Shikamaru is surprise, then beamed and rushed off to the kitchen to collect the basket undoubtedly. Hisoka followed her.

Naruto was smiling at him, and the smile clearly said "Awww… You just a big softie, aren't you?"

He ignored it and said, "I'll be back as soon as I can. Don't let Kotone out of your sight."

Naruto nodded, recognizing his seriousness.

He put the odd weapon that had been used for the assassination attempt on the table. It might look a little odd for him, a civilian, to be walking around the street with it, and he couldn't put it in his pocket; it was practically sharp everywhere.

And that was how, five minutes later, he wound up carrying a large woven basket down the street.

Life was so troublesome. But, then again, it did give him another chance to think, and there was a lot to think about. The odd weapon for one. He'd have to examine it more closely when he got back. It was highly doubtful that any of the ninja clustered around Kotone had thrown the weapon. Someone else would have noticed the ever so faint flick of the wrist, unless all of the ninjas were corrupt, and that was almost unbelievable.

On the other hand, it would still be simple for a ninja of the village to just hide in the forest and then go back to his post. The weapon was unusual, though, and he'd observed some of the ninjas looking at the kunai-thing. Wouldn't they recognize it if a fellow shinobi in the village used it? Or if they recognized it at all. Of course, a smart assassin would just pick up an odd weapon to lead the scent away from them and on a wild goose chase.

He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts and looked up. Following Kotone's instructions had led him to the poorer section of the village, but, although it was shabby, everything was clean and patched. Mrs. Fujiwara's house was tiny and dark green, fading into the neat garden around her house.

Before he knocked on the door, it opened, and the most wizened, wrinkled, tiny old woman he had ever seen stood there. Pure white hair was pulled back into a bun and her skin resembled yellowed parchment. Bright black eyes stared at him. "Yes?" her voice quavered.

Shikamaru held out the basket. "Kotone told me to bring this to you."

She clapped gnarled hands together and grabbed the basket from him. "Oh, she's such a kind girl. Never forgets. And what a kind young man you are for delivering it."

Shikamaru nodded, smiling woodenly, and turned to slouch away, when she grabbed his arm with surprising strength. "You can't go yet. I have to reward you," she said.

He tried to escape, but quickly gave up. There was no arguing with elderly ladies. They had a way about them that made it hard to say no without feeling like a complete bastard. He sighed as he sat at her table. As soon as he got back from this mission, he was going to buy a pack or cigarettes and stare at the clouds all day.

Mrs. Fujiwara bustled around the kitchen, taking over her shoulder to him. "Let me get you something to eat. Growing boys like you need a lot of food. You're far too skinny."

He was torn between laughing and groaning.

She continued talking. "I haven't seen you around before. Are you new? There seems to be a lot of new people moving in nowadays. Takeshi is giving them homes. It's good of him, and he's a good man. His daughter is sweet, too. Of course, she's sweet on that Hisoka fellow. He's a good boy and tries to keep his friend Kazuo in line and out of trouble. That might be a lost cause. He's already corrupting the youth, or that's what some people say. I don't think he's corrupting anyone. It's natural for a boy to be like that. Yukio does worship him a little much, though. It's a sad story about him and his sister. Do you know they escaped from their last village, but their parents didn't make it. Takeshi found them and took them in. He's like a father to a lot of the children of the village and a savior to others."

Shikamaru sat up straighter. The little old woman was a chatterbox and a gold mine of information.

Mrs. Fugiwara paused, "I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Of course not," Shikamaru assured her.

She continued blithely, "Oh, good. Have you met the twins? Etsu and Masago? They fight constantly over everything, but they really love each other. Takeshi saved them, too. Masago is in love with him, and everyone seems to know it except him. Isn't that just like a man. Etsu and Masago both help with the youngsters. Akira does a lot of training in the academy, too. You might not guess it by looking at him, but he really loves the children, and they love him, too. He was found 7/8 dead in the forest a little ways away from here. He's never told anyone what happened to him. Then there's the council. There's Ichiro; he's a scheming, power hungry little man. Never liked him. Then there's Miyako. She's the only woman on the council. Got a good head on her shoulders. Ozuru is a tough and proud man, but he's done right by us. He opposed Takeshi in wanting to become a shinobi village, though. I think he still has misgivings about it. It's too bad about his heart. It's been giving him trouble for years, and it's been getting worse lately. His aide, Katsutoshi, is a very smart boy, very ambitious. He's had some shinobi training, and he's got brains. You know who else has brains? A boy named Naoki. Everyone's scared of him, and he rarely speaks, but he watches, and I know he's got a good brain in there. Yep. There are some unhappy people in this village as well. Like Yoshi and his friends. They don't like shinobi one bit. Me on the other hand, I like them just fine."

She stopped and patted his hand. "Now look what I've done. You must be bored to tears. I'll let you be on your way. Such a polite young man." She got up and led him to the door. "Now, don't be afraid to come visit me again, Shikamaru. Bye!"

Then the door shut in his face.

He blinked. That had been a lot of information. Who needed spies when you ad little old ladies?

He walked away, hands shoved in his pockets. He'd heard of several people who were either power hungry or didn't like Takeshi, and he'd discovered what bothered him about Ozuru. The man had a tense, watchful strong air, but it was a façade. He was weak and dying. Now all he had to do was figure out what bothered him about Katsutoshi. Actually, something else bothered him, too, and with a click of his impressive brain, he knew what it was. The old lady. She pretended not to know who he was, but she used his name at the end, and he hadn't told her.

Before he had time to ponder this, a voice said, "Hey, Shikamaru… catch."

Shikamaru turned to see a knife being hurled at him. He caught it easily with two fingers. But, by doing so, he knew he showed himself as a shinobi, not a civilian. Still, he'd rather someone find out and they be discovered than be killed. Dying was far too troublesome, since there was still stuff he wanted to do, like watch clouds, play shoji, and most likely go on a date with a certain blonde ninja. He shifted his grip on the knife and turned his attention to his attacker.

Akira stood there, leaning against the wall of the alley and grinning his very unsettling grin. "Nice catch, Shikamaru, but then it would be child's play for a shinobi of the hidden leaf village, wouldn't it?" There was nothing aggressive or suggesting that he wanted to disembowel Shikamaru, but Shikamaru didn't let up his defensive posture.

There wasn't really any use in trying to deny he was a ninja. "How did you know?" he asked, apathetic.

Akira reached up and tugged on his blind fold gently. "I'm blind. Remember when I asked to feel you? So I could see what you look like? Even if you're pretending to be a civilian, all the training you've put your body through doesn't just disappear. I could feel it with my hands. Shinobi's bodies feel much harder, like rocks almost."

Oh… well, that explains that. How annoying. What was he supposed to do now? He couldn't really justify killing him, even if he wanted to for groping Naruto. He could try to capture him and keep Akira hidden so their cover didn't get blown, but he didn't know how strong Akira was; a fight would draw attention, and he'd be missed. Plus, the whole idea sounded troublesome. Better to see what Akira wanted. He waited.

"Shikamaru, I can guess why you're here. To protect Kotone, right? Don't try and deny it. I'm blind, not stupid. I'm glad you're here. I don't want anything to happen to her. She's a good person; plus, she's cute. Anyway, I'm offering my assistance. If you need help or need someone killed, I'd be more than happy to help." Shikamaru didn't doubt the part about killing people. The rest of it, though, he was wary of. If he went by his instincts, Akira seemed to be telling the truth, but it was better to be safe than sorry. "Thanks for the offer, Akira," Shikamaru said, and that was all he was going to say.

Akira grinned again. "No problem. Can I have my knife back?"

With only a seconds pause, Shikamaru obliged, throwing the knife back. Some people might think it was wrong to throw knives at blind people, but this was a blind shinobi. He should be able to catch it, and if he didn't, Shikamaru couldn't find it in him to muster up any sadness or related emotion. That alone probably didn't say anything good about his mental state.

But, as expected of blind ninjas, Akira caught the blade easily, said, "I look forward to working closely with you, and even more closely with Naru-chan," and disappeared in a puff of mist before Shikamaru could get close enough to strangle him.

Great. That was just what he needed, Akira to be working closely with Naruto.

Muttering about bothersome missions, he made his way back to Kotone's apartment. When he got there, he found a very irritated-looking Naruto.

"What?" she snapped when he opened the door, and then her expression softened when she was who it was. "Oh, it's you." She looked distinctly grumpy. That alone was weird. Naruto and grumpy just didn't go together. Like Anko and sanity, or Sasuke and not being an uppity douche.

"What's up?" he asked as she shut the door.

"Kotone. I want to brain her and never let her eat ramen again. She insisted on seeing everyone who came to visit to assure then she was okay. She doesn't seem to understand the concept that one of them probably wants to kill her." She made a humphing sound and pouted, which Shikamaru found oddly adorable.

Kami, what was wrong with him? He wasn't a love struck fool. Nope, apparently, he was a love struck shinobi genius, or at the very least one with raging hormones and had found out his friend was a hot chick. More than hot, really. Gorgeous and beautiful seemed more apt. He stopped his train of thought before he starting writing love haiku's or something as humiliating.

Without preamble, he told her about what he had learned from Mrs. Fugiwara and about his encounter with Akira. When he finished, her response wasn't quite what he had expected. Then again, it was Naruto.

"I don't think Akira's after Kotone at all, and I think Mrs. Fugiwara knows who's after Kotone," she said immediately.

Those were basically the conclusions he'd come up with himself. Shikamaru froze mid-nod, eyes fixed on the table. "Naruto, did you move that odd throwing weapon?" he asked slowly.

She looked at him, confused. "No, why?"

"Because it's gone." The spot where it had been was simply a clear spot of table. Shikamaru's mind whirled. One of the people who visited must have taken it. But why? Maybe the weapon connected them to the assassination attempts. "Who visited while I was gone?" he asked urgently.

"First Takeshi came home, and then Masago and Etsu, all of the council members as far as I could tell, including their aides, and Kazuo, but I think he came more to see me than her."

Shikamaru slouched forward and put his hands together. That narrowed it down. Yoshi, the one the old lady mentioned, could be ruled out, but Ichiro, along with Ozuru, Katsutoshi, and the rest of the council had come. Takeshi could be completely ruled out. Kazuo, Etsu, and Masago were possibilities, but slim ones. That left the council members. That just proved it. Never trust a politician. They're more likely to stab you in the back than an enemy shinobi, which was really saying something.

His eyes shot open. He was 99.8% sure who was behind the attempted assassinations on Kotone's life. Now, all he needed was proof.

When he looked up, he saw Naruto watching him questioningly. He shook his head at her unasked question. "Just a few ideas. Where's Takeshi?"

Naruto made a face. "In his office, and he's not happy with us. If anything happens," her voice took on a grave tone," I have no doubt that the Yugakure will become enemies of the leaf."

Shikamaru groaned. Great, now he needed to talk to the pissed off father of a girl who he was supposed to be protecting who almost got killed. Lovely. With another groan, he stood up and headed towards Takeshi's office, preparing himself to be berated by an angry father. Slowly, he slid open the door to the office and stepped inside.

Takeshi was sitting at his desk, scrolls and piles of papers covering every inch of the desk. He glanced up when he came in, and his face hardened into a harsh mask. "Shikamaru… Why are you here?" It was obviously a rhetorical question, so Shikamaru stayed silent. "You're here to protect my daughter. To make sure that she doesn't get hurt. What happened today? A blade got within a few centimeters of her head! You and Naruto weren't even there from what I heard. She might have gotten killed! My baby, my girl… I'm not an unfair man, Shikamaru, but if anything happens to her…" He glanced upwards, and his eyes connected with Shikamaru's. "There will never be peace between my village and Konoha."

A declaration of war. Shikamaru hadn't expected anything less. He nodded. "I understand."

"Do you really?"

"Yes. I realize that what occurred was our fault. Well, mine more than Naruto's. Even if this mission is troublesome, your daughters life is at stake, and you have my word that outside of this house, I will not leave her side."

Takeshi nodded once, a stiff nod, only somewhat mollified, and shuffled some papers. "Is there anything else you need?"

"Yeah, could I have a book on the laws of your village?" Takeshi frowned at the request, but quickly pulled a thick volume off of his shelf. "What do you need it for?"

What to say… He could say that he was pretty sure he knew who was trying to kill Kotone, but that would get Takeshi all worked up and he'd demand to know who it was. That was definitely not a good idea, so he gave Takeshi the same answer he had given Naruto. "Just an idea."

Takeshi handed him the book and then sat back down at his desk, effectively ignoring Shikamaru.

He took that as his cue to leave. The man was obviously still pissed at him. He paused at the doorway, though, and asked, "Does Ichiro spend a lot of time with Kotone and you?"

Takeshi frowned, surprised. "No, not at all."

"Got it..." Shikamaru left. One more idea had been confirmed.

Five minutes later, he was in his room, staring blankly at the cover of the book of laws. It was thicker than Kiba was mentally, and that was really saying something. Settling back into the bead, he placed the book on his stomach, open it to the first page, and started reading.

Four hours later, he closed the book and threw it on the floor. Usually he'd have more respect for books, but that one seriously deserved to be burned. The author had used the most flowery and long-winded prose possible. Now, he had a headache the size of Sasuke's ego and a better knowledge of the law. More of an understanding of it than he ever wanted to have, and now it was engraved in his brain.

The piece of information he had actually been searching for was about how the leader of the village was chosen, which was what he had asked Takeshi when he first arrived, but now he knew all of the details about it, and it only furthered his suspicion towards a certain person.

He mulled over it in his head.

If Takeshi died, Kotone would take over. If they both died, a new person would be selected from the council. That part Takeshi hadn't told him, but it was more detailed than that. The rules were completely ridiculous, and he was pretty sure some of them hadn't been used in hundreds of years, but they could still be called upon.

In the event that Takeshi and Kotone died, then a someone else would be chosen, but there were rules about how that person would be chosen. They wouldn't be chosen by vote. No, that would be too sensible. The next leader would be chosen by their seniority, or how long they had served on the council. Then if they died in office, if he understood the book right, and providing that they didn't have family, it would go to their aide. If the aide died, then a new council member would be chosen but not a family member because he or she was just an aide. He knew Takeshi didn't have an aide, too. But still, the whole system was completely messed up.

They really needed to rewrite their laws, and by his count, abolish thirty-one of them. A few of which were that a person would be fined two chickens if their pig crossed the street on a Tuesday, that people couldn't leave their houses if they weren't wearing underwear even if they were wearing pants, and that it was against the law to sell your eyeballs. Needless to say, it was some messed up stuff.

He rubbed his eyes tiredly. He had skipped dinner, preferring to get through the book, and now all he wanted to do was sleep. His stomach growled. Okay, maybe not sleep quite yet.

After a quick trip to the kitchen to raid its supplies, he returned, sliding open the door to his bedroom. He froze, eyes wide, when he saw what, or rather who, was in his room. The scene was not what he would expect in reality.

Naruto, with her hair down, was sitting on his bed wearing the same baby blue nightgown that he swore was at least partially transparent with a shogi board by her side.

Holy… Was he dreaming again? Or was his dream actually coming true? He stared at her intently, waiting for her nightgown to start shrinking.

Her voice brought his out of his reverie. "Shikamaru? Are you okay?" There was no way her voice could sound so realistic without actually being real.

He hurriedly pulled himself together. "What? Yes! I mean, yes, I'm fine," he said hesitantly sitting down next to her. Inwardly, he was berating himself. Really? He was a genius. Couldn't he come up with something better that sounding like an inarticulate idiot. He cleared his throat, trying to focus his eyes on anything but her chest, which wasn't really covered. "What's going on?" He asked.

She scratched her head nervously. "I was wondering if you wanted to play shogi."

Now, he stared at her for two reasons. One, he had lost the battle of trying not to stare at her chest, and, two, he didn't even know that she played shogi. It didn't seem like something she'd have the patience for, not that he was complaining. "Sure," he said, sitting down next to her.

Without a further word, they started the game. Shikamaru was amazed. Naruto actually knew how to play, but not only that, she was good. Good enough to actually make his pay attention and even struggle in one spot. Of course, he still won the game. "Where did you learn how to play?"

"Kyuu-chan taught me. She kind of insisted that I learn patience and strategy and how to focus and stuff like that. I thought it was really boring at first, but it's sort of interesting. She was a total hard-ass about it, though." Naruto suddenly twitched, gripping a shogi piece tightly.

He watched with interest as her eyes became slightly unfocused. It was clear what was happening. The Kyuubi was chewing her out.

After several moments, she blinked and mumbled petulantly, "Meanie."

"What did she say?" He asked.

"She was just telling me that I should be grateful that she puts up with my stupidity. Mostly that sort of thing."

The word mostly caught his attention. "Mostly?"

Her cheeks turned pink immediately and she coughed into her hand. "Kyuu-chan just happened to mention some things about you. I told you before she likes you."

Oh, so that's what the Kyuubi had been saying. He could imagine it. He moved closer to Naruto. It was his chance. Kotone was most likely asleep; it was most likely two assassination attempts wouldn't be made in one day, and Naruto was sitting on his bed wearing not much. He moved closer until he was sitting right next to her, their legs brushing one another's. She was so close.

"Naruto…"

She looked up at him. "Yes?"

"I…" I like you? I have feelings for you? What the heck was he supposed to say? He really should have spent more time interacting with females. He had no game. What the heck good was being a genius if he couldn't even do this? He tried again. "I…"

Oh, screw it.

He leaned forward, but at that exact moment, Naruto looked down at the Shogi board. His lips pressed against her cheek instead of her lips. He drew back quickly, and saw her staring at him, blushing and gaping cutely.

"What was that for?" she asked, fiddling with the hem of her nightgown.

He hesitated. Oh, to hell with it. "I like you," he said abruptly. There. He did it. Now it was all up to Naruto. His heart leaped when she smiled broadly.

"I like you, too, Shika. You're a good friend."

And then his heart promptly plummeted to the ground onto to be stabbed by imaginary kunais before getting set on fire by a powerful flame jutsu. Friend? Had he not made it clear enough? Ino had given him a lecture about getting stuck in the friend zone with girls. It was not somewhere he wanted to be.

He opened his mouth to clarify his feelings toward her, but she yawned. "Can I stay in your room tonight? Kotone fell asleep on my bed when we were talking, and I don't want to wake her up."

His mind went blank. Naruto wanted to spend the night in his bed. Weren't you supposed to go on dates before that sort of things happened? Not that they were going to do anything, but still. His thoughts couldn't help but go in that direction. After all, he was a teenaged boy. He nodded, "Sure. You can stay here." He'd wait until tomorrow to tell her how he really felt.

Naruto cleared away the shogi board and pieces and settled down onto his bed under the covers.

He grabbed a loose shirt and a pair of boxers. How the heck was he going to change? He could ask her to turn around of course.

As if she read his mind, she piped up. "Don't worry about changing. It's not like I haven't seen guys naked before."

Oh, yeah. She used to be a guy, which was still creepy to think about, so she'd seen all that. Plus, she wore the henge all the time.

She was still talking. "I mean, I go to the bath houses with everyone else."

He started to nod, then stopped. The bathhouse. He had gone to the bathhouse with Naruto, which meant she'd seen him… She'd seen his... No, he always wore a towel, but still she'd seen him almost naked.

"Don't worry, though. I try not to look even if most of you guys cover up."

This was not making him feel better. "Just close your eyes," he ordered. She rolled her eyes but obeyed, and he hurriedly changed his clothes, utilizing his ninja quickness. 1.8 seconds later he had changed. Being a ninja really was useful sometimes.

Awkwardly, he slid into bed next to Naruto and laid down stiffly.

Immediately, Naruto closed the distance between then, sliding over until she was right next to him. "Good night, Shika" she whispered, snuggling closer to him. Her head was on his shoulder and every inch of her body was pressed against his.

He wrapped an arm around her waist. It felt nice. It felt right.

"Good night, Naruto," he said quietly, brushing his lips over her forehead in a kiss and wondering when he'd gotten so… so feely.

Lazy, brilliant, and apathetic practically described him. The definition of apathetic was showing or feeling no interest, enthusiasm, or concern, not being extremely interested in Naruto and enthusiastic about the idea of even spending time with her. Whatever. He was enjoying this too much to think about it. He tightened his hold on her and she snuggled closer in response.

For once, the mission didn't seem quite so troublesome after all.

* * *

Whew! Finally a new chapter is up. Sorry it took so long. I had most of it written months ago, but then I lost it. That brings up a very valuable piece of information. Never write your stories down on the same notepad as you do calculus work. You will never look for it there. Ever. So, I added a few thousand more words to the chapter, and here it is. For the people who have been complaining and lack of action, the next chapter, there will be some. I only have one more thing to say, or rather ask. I'm not supposed to respond to reviews in my chapters, but some of you either don't have an account or don't sign in, and I like to respond to your reviews. So, I just have a request. Please sign in or get an account. Thanks for reading, everyone. Oh, one more thing. I GOT OVER TWO HUNDRED REVIEWS! THANK YOU EVERYONE! Oh, and another thing. Can anyone guess who the evil plotter is?

Ja ne,

_Rumer Hasit_

* * *

**Sadie:** Wow, what a positive review. I loved it, so thanks for writing it. Well, even if you missed my story before, you found it now, and I'm glad you like it. I love the Shika/Naru pairing, too. They balance each other out perfectly. I don't really get why there aren't more femNaru/Shika pairings. Anyway, sorry it took me so long to update, and thanks for reading.

**Unimportant:** You loved the last chapter? Success is mine! And of course I responded to your review. You had the thoughtfullness to leave one, so I wanted to thank you. Does that make any sense? Maybe. The story is da bomb? I can't think of a higher compliment. ^_^ I added in a fluffy moment at the end between Shikamaru and Naruto at the end. Thought you might like it.

**hana-chan:** Thank you, thank you, and thank you. I like ShikaNaru, too. You love my story? Well, thank you very, very much, Hana-chan. I hope you like this chapter as well. Sorry it took so long, but it it around twice the lengths of my chapters, so hopefully that will make up for my tardiness a bit. Thanks for reading!

**hibaritsunayoshi-kun:** Good story? Good, glad you think so. Thanks for telling me about the whole Naruto-Naruko setting on the site, too. Someone else told me that you weren't supposed to respond to chapters, but some of the people either don't have accounts or don't sign in, and I can't respond to them, so I put it down here. I do email everyone else, though. I probably shouldn't respond to them, then, but that seems kind of rude. Crud. I probably shouldn't even be writing this. Anyway, glad you like it and thanks for leaving a review.


	16. Aggravating Assassins

Shikamaru stared up at the ceiling of his room.

It had been days since the last assassination attempt on Kotone's life at the training ground, and now it was her birthday. He knew there was going to be another attempt on her life today. It was the perfect opportunity. There would be large crowd, people milling around everywhere, loud noises, and tons of places to hide and blend in with the crowd.

Takeshi had tried to cancel the celebration, not caring about the fact that it would alert the civilians that something was wrong, but Shikamaru had managed to convince him to let everything go as scheduled. Shikamaru had everything planned. They were having a sort of parade through the village, and Kotone would be in it. Naruto would be right by her side the whole time. Shikamaru would be following them from either the rooftops or moving through the crowd. Naruto would alert him in she saw anything and protect Kotone in the event that someone tried to attack.

He in turn would take down the assassins if, make that when, Naruto saw them. It was simple, but he knew it would work.

At the moment, he was waiting for Naruto and Kotone to finish dressing so that they could start. He turned his head, glancing out the window at the clouds moving by and let his mind wander. If everything went according to plan, then the mission would be finished, and they'd be going home the next day, back to Konoha.

He frowned. He should be happy about that, or at least relieved. But that meant that he wouldn't get to spend as much time with Naruto. How would things change? Would they even hang out at all? There was another thing that was bothering him. Well, not exactly bothering him; in fact, he liked it, but it was confusing. And he was a genius for Kami's sake!

Naruto had been sleeping in his bed every night since she had come in with the shogi board. They stayed up talking for a while, and then she just slept there, cuddled up against him. What the heck did it mean? He felt like pulling his hair out, except that would be too bothersome. It had to mean that she liked him, right? But she'd said she liked him as a friend. A friend. Not as a potential romantic interest. And he was too cautious to ask her. He liked how things were at the moment, and he didn't want to ruin it.

He banged his head on the headboard. Who was he kidding? He wasn't being cautious; he was scared of what would happen. Emotions were so troublesome…

A knock sounded at the door, and then a moment later it slid open, revealing Naruto.

Shikamaru's eyes widened. She looked… beautiful.

She wore a pale orange kimono with blue dragonflies on it with a dark orange obi. Her hair was loose, and it looked like Kotone had managed to make her wear a little make-up, emphasizing her large blue eyes and cupid's bow lips.

She shifted uneasily under his gaze. "I didn't want to wear one, but Kotone found this one in orange. She was pouting, too. Do you like it? I'm not really used to wearing this sort of thing."

Shikamaru nodded hurriedly, "You look great. I mean… wow." He looked at her closer. Was she blushing? That had to mean that she liked him, right?

She moved farther into the room, somehow managing to look like she was gliding as she moved, and said, "Are you ready for this? Kotone's waiting for us."

He nodded, rolling off of the bed, and tried to stop staring at her. She just looked so beautiful. Apparently, he was moving too slow for her liking, because she grabbed his hand and dragged him from the room. "Come on! Everything's scheduled, and we don't want to keep anyone waiting!" He ignored her scolding and tried to ignore how soft her hands were with much more limited success. Man, he had it bad. He had to get it together.

Kotone was waiting for them by the door, looking very pretty in a soft green kimono with golden sparrows on it. She shot Shikamaru a look after glancing at Naruto and his joined hands but didn't say anything about it.

Naruto elbowed Shikamaru when he didn't greet Kotone immediately. "Don't you have something to say?"

"Happy birthday, Kotone," he muttered half-heartedly.

Kotone beamed at him but fiddled with her sleeve nervously. "Thank you, Shikamaru. Now, are you all r-ready?" She was holding up well, considering everything. It was her birthday, and she was knowingly walking into an assassination attempt with her life in the hands of two people who she had met only a couple of says before. It was just a little nerve-wracking.

"Yes, are you ready, Shikamaru? Everything will be fine?"

They all turned around to see Takeshi standing there. The man quickly moved to his daughter's side and wrapped an arm around her protectively.

Shikamaru nodded. "Yes. Everything will be fine." He knew he shouldn't be saying that. There was a chance that everything was going to go horribly wrong, but the man looked like he needed someone to tell him everything would be fine. Ugh… when had he started caring so much? Naruto must be rubbing off on him.

Takeshi nodded and opened the door, stepping out with his daughter. Naruto and Shikamaru followed behind them closely down the stairs and to the front of the building.

Right before they left the lobby, Naruto tugged on Shikamaru's hand, making him stop.

"What?"

She looked up at him for a moment, and then she stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek softly before pulling back.

"What was that for?" he asked, feeling a mixture of confusion, happiness, and then some more confusion.

"Good luck, of course," she said, grinning broadly and hurrying after Kotone, leaving a very confused, and slightly aroused, genius in her wake.

By the time he got himself together and got outside, he found a group of people waiting. All of them dressed up in various colorful outfits. He recognized some of the shinobi from the training ground as well. A worried looking Hisoka was hovering near Kotone, and Naruto was on her other side.

Then, they started off. The streets had been decorated with banners and flowers, and booths had been set up in the wider streets. It was a true celebration, and Kotone was clearly a favorite of the village.

Shikamaru watched from the sidelines as the shinobi used jutsus and their athletic abilities to actually entertain the civilians. He knew a lot of ninjas who wouldn't even consider using their jutsus as entertainment devices for civilians. Clearly, that wasn't the general consensus here.

He wove his way through the crowd, keeping an eye on Kotone and Naruto. As a ninja finished a jutsu and the birds he had created out of water burst in a spray of mist that created a rainbow, the procession reached the center of town.

Kotone, Naruto, Nagisa, and several other girls dressed in kimonos took up the middle of the square, and started to dance. It was the perfect opportunity to kill Kotone. There were literally hundreds of places to hide, and, since the crowd was at the edges of the square, it was a clear shot to Kotone.

He just stood there, eyes taking in every detail from under half-closed lids. Shikamaru watched the girls dance, precise and graceful in their movements.

If it was his birthday, he'd just want to lie around and watch clouds all day, but apparently, it was a tradition for the daughter of the head of the council to dance for the village on her birthday, and Kotone actually liked to dance. So troublesome… but, as long at he didn't have to do it, it was alright.

Shikamaru watched as Naruto opened a fan with a flick of her wrist.

"_Are you ready, Shikamaru?_" Her voice came through the link of their earrings clearly.

"_Yes. Do you see anyone?_"

While she danced, Naruto's hand flew out, and her fan pointed towards the top story of a building at an open window. "_Someone's in there,_" she said. "_I can see their chakra. It's the perfect place to attack from, too, if a little obvious._"

Shikamaru quickly moved through the crowd and scaled the side of a building in two jumps. Then, he entered the room next to the one occupied, made his way to the hallway, and almost burst out laughing.

The door to the room with the assassin wasn't even shut all the way. If someone walked by, they would be able to see. He could see the silhouette of the person as they stared out the window, most likely focused on Kotone's dancing form.

Silently, Shikamaru moved closer, bringing his hands together, and whispered, "Kageshibari no Jutsu." He watched as the shadows, his shadows, spread across the floor until they reached the person. Now he had them.

"What the heck?" he heard the person exclaim in a high-pitched voice. Definitely a girl.

He straightened up, and watched as she did the exact same thing. Then, he turned sideways, and then bent backwards as quickly as he could. It didn't hurt him, since he was standing in the empty hallway, but the girl was standing with her back to a wall. With a loud thump, the back of her head connected with the wall. She slid to the ground, unconscious.

He almost smiled. That wasn't so troublesome after all. He moved into the room, keeping an eye out for traps. There were none. He made his way over to the girl and crouched down, peering at her.

She looked young, maybe his age, maybe a little younger, with curling dark brown hair that ended just above her bust and delicate tanned features. She was dressed in civilian clothing, but on the window sill, right where she had been waiting before, were two throwing weapons just like the one that he'd found embedded in the tree trunk.

Well, now he knew who had been trying to kill Kotone.

Then, he felt the presence of someone behind him, and jerked his head to the side as a kunai flew by right were his head had been before, leaving a scratch on his cheek. He turned around and was met with the sight of two men standing in the doorway, weapons gleaming in their hands.

"What the hell did you do to Hikari, you bastard!" the shorter one snarled, stepping forward.

Bastard? Now that wasn't nice. Such a comment should be reserved for Sasuke, who actually deserved them.

Shikamaru whipped out his tanto knife, which had been strapped to his back under his jacket, and pressed it against the girl's, Hikari's, unconscious throat. "I wouldn't move any farther if I were you," Shikamaru said, "At least, not it you want to get her back again… with her head still intact."

Yes, it wasn't the nicest or the most charming thing to say, but it got the message across.

Both of the men stopped, and it gave Shikamaru a moment to take in their appearances. They weren't men at all. One of them might be called that, but the other was just a kid.

The older boy looked around eighteen with his messy brown hair and bright green eyes. He was tall and muscular as well. The younger one couldn't have been older than fourteen and looked like a copy of the older one, except that his hair had a reddish tint, and it was more unruly than Naruto's when she was in her guy form.

There was one more obvious fact. They both looked like the girl whose throat he was currently threatening to split. They were related. A family, perhaps? Well, that gave him even more leverage over them.

There was one more thing he was pretty sure of. They might be skilled, but they were not really professionals. The open door. The way they had accosted him when they found him next to Hikari's body. The fear in their eyes at the moment.

Quickly, and before they could do anything else, Shikamaru repeated his jutsu from earlier, and less than a second later, they had been caught by his shadows. The shorter one started yelling immediately, and Shikamaru decided to take care of him first. He turned to his side and punched the air with his tanto knife. The two boys mimicked his moments exactly, the kid punching air, and the older one punching the kid in the head.

The kid crumpled to the ground. Then, Shikamaru used his other hand, which was empty, and hit himself in the head. He might have a slight headache later, but the other guy had a kunai in that hand, and the blunt end smashed into his head. His eyes rolled back in his head, and he joined his teammates in unconsciousness.

Shikamaru released his jutsu and surveyed the three people in front of him. Not so troublesome after all. Kami, he loved that jutsu.

"_Shikamaru?_" Naruto's voice came through the chakra earring. "_What happened? Are you okay?_"

That emotion in her voice… was that worry? It was, and a lot of it.

"_Shikamaru! Answer me. I felt your chakra spike. What happened?_"

Brushing off the pleased feeling that Naruto was so worried about him, Shikamaru said, "_I'm fine. Everything's taken care of. I got all three of them. There might be more, but I don't think so. Until we know otherwise, tell Hisoka to stick to Kotone. You stay with her, too. Can you tell Kazuo or someone to come here and help me transfer them to a interrogation room?_"

He felt a wave of relief wash over him and realized that it wasn't his; it was Naruto's. "_So you're okay? And you got them? That's great! I'll get someone to help you, and I'll see you later._"

Moments later, Kazuo entered the room, via the window and whistled when he saw the bodies on the floor. "They're still alive, right?"

Shikamaru nodded, finding it too troublesome to speak.

"Great. Hey did you see how hot Naru-chan looked in her Kimono? I can't believe someone like you got her as a girlfriend. No offense meant, man." By the way Kazuo was smirking, offense was definitely meant.

Shikamaru gritted his teeth and said, "Kazuo… I didn't get to maim anyone, and I still have some blood lust. Are you volunteering?"

He must have looked homicidal, because Kazuo backed off. "No! I like myself unbloodied, thank you very much. Now, who's going to carry who? Tell you what, I'll carry the girl, and you can carry the other two."

Shikamaru looked from Kazuo to the girl and back to Kazuo. He wouldn't try anything on her, right? I mean, she was unconscious. Kazuo wouldn't grope her… right?

Shikamaru stooped down and scooped up the girl, throwing her over his shoulder, and then did the same with the young kid. They hung there, limp and unyielding like sacks of rice. "I'll take these two," he said, leaving Kazuo to carry the older boy, guessing that he probably didn't want to grope him.

He was right. Kazuo followed him, grumbling about his burden.

It didn't take too long to get to where they were going, which was a the building where they had met Takeshi when they had first arrived, but instead of going into the nice office, they went into another section, one will windowless concrete rooms that were unfriendly to say the least.

With Kazuo's help, the three were quickly bound and set in chairs. Shikamaru and Kazuo left the room and watched their prisoners stir from the other side of a pane of one way glass.

It was weird. The whole situation was weird, and he couldn't shake the feeling that the whole fiasco was far from over. Then Hikari, and the two boys who Shikamaru took to be her brothers or at least close relatives, began to wake up.

Shikamaru watched as they came back to consciousness.

Wide eyed, they stared around the room but surprisingly didn't start to panic. They just sat there, faces stony.

Great, they were probably going to be troublesome to interrogate.

The door behind him opened, and Shikamaru turned to see Naruto, Kotone, and Takeshi enter the room.

Naruto rushed up to him. "Shika! You're okay? What happened to your cheek," she asked, running her finger over the shallow cut. He jerked his head in the direction of the three captives.

Her eyes widened. "That's them? They're younger than I expected. Oh, can I interrogate them? I didn't get to fight or anything! Please?"

Shikamaru blinked at her. That was unexpected, but then again, it was also Naruto, who might have been the definition of unexpected. "Sure," he shrugged.

Kotone and Takeshi were standing close together staring at the three ninja currently tied to their chairs. "Is that them?" Takeshi asked.

"Yes."

Kotone let out a breath of air. "But why would they want to kill me?"

"Most likely they were hired to kill you by someone who found it too troublesome to kill you themselves," Shikamaru said, opening the door of the interrogation room. "But that's what we're going to find out."

Naruto entered the room, and Shikamaru closed the door after them.

The three stared at Shikamaru and Naruto.

Naruto smiled at them and gave a little wave while Shikamaru leaned against the wall. "Hi, I'm Naruto. It's nice to meet you all," she grinned.

Shikamaru had the feeling that this was going to be a very unorthodox interrogation. The two boys and the girl exchange confused glances. He could tell what they were thinking, approximately at least. What the hell? Probably summed it up rather well.

Naruto was still dressed in her Kimono, and she was smiling. "I just have a few questions for you guys, and if you don't answer, I'll be forced to skin you all alive with a blunt kunai. If that doesn't work, then I will make you to swallow an explosive tag, causing excruciating pain and internal hemorrhaging. I don't really want to do that, though, since I might get blood on my kimono. I guess I could use a fire jutsu to slowly char your skin and burn it to the bone, but then I might burn my kimono… At least I'd be able to wash the blood out if I skinned you alive."

The three had turned pale.

Shikamaru stared at Naruto. That was some of the creepiest stuff he'd ever heard coming out of her mouth. She was talking about it like it was the weather or she was deciding what to eat.

Naruto's voice came over the chakra earring. "_How am I doing? I'm trying to channel my inner Anko,_" she said gleefully.

"_You're doing a good job,_" he said. A very good job. In fact, it was almost too good. Creepy.

"So, do you any of you want to tell me something?" Naruto asked, still smiling.

All of them stayed silent.

"Maybe Hikari would tell you something," Shikamaru said.

Naruto stepped closer to the girl. "So, your name's Hikari? What a cute name. Now, can you tell me why you were trying to kill my friend?"

Hikari kept stubbornly silent.

Naruto drifted away from her and over to the older boy, running her hand over his shoulders. "You still don't want to tell me? You know, you aren't being very helpful. I wonder… would you be more helpful if I cut off his ear?" Hikari still stayed silent, and Naruto moved until she was standing directly behind the youngest boy. She gently grabbed his chin from behind. "I could snap his neck so easily."

All of the blood drained from his face, leaving him deathly pale.

Naruto drifted back over to Hikari and leaned over her, faces just inches away. "Now, will you tell me what I want to know? I don't want to have to hurt anyone, but I will if you don't give me what I want." Naruto leaned in even closer, and Hikari swallowed loudly. "Hikari…" Naruto practically purred, "I don't want to have to do this the hard way, but I will if I have to."

Shikamaru stared and then stared some more. Was it wrong to be slightly turned on by this? Most likely. But, seriously, it was like he was watching some sort of BDSM story or video that Kakashi would have. Naruto was still in her Kimono, standing over Hikari, with their faces very close together, and Naruto… Okay, she probably wasn't meaning to, but she sounded seductive. There was also the fact that Hikari's face was redder than a tomato.

Naruto's hand touched Hikari's cheek and trailed down her neck. "Tell you what, Hi-ka-ri… If you tell me everything… I'll make sure that none of you are harmed."

Shikamaru frowned. Naruto didn't really have the authority to promise that.

For the first time, Hikari spoke, her voice high pitched and nervous, "Do you promise?"

"I swear on my honor as a shinobi and on my precious people that neither you nor your friends will be hurt," Naruto said solemnly.

Hikari let out a deep breath. "Okay… I'll tell you what I know."

Naruto straightened up and her usual grin spread across her face. "Really? Great! I didn't really want to have to hurt you guys," she admitted. She grabbed a chair from the corner of the room and plopped down in it. "So, why were you guys trying to kill Kotone?"

Hikari still seemed to be reeling from the sudden personality change in Naruto and apparently was still trying to will down her blush. She glanced at the other two boys and then cleared her throat. "I… I guess I should start at the beginning. My name is Hikari, and these are my brothers. My older brother, Keita, and my younger brother, Shota. We were chased out of our last village because of our kekkei genkai. N-not that we can control it all the time. I think it's called… Hyoton."

Shikamaru's head jerked upright. What? Had he heard that right? Hyoton? That was what Haku's kekkei genkai had been. But wasn't Haku supposedly the last one with it? Hadn't the rest of his clan been killed? If Hikari was telling the truth… Shikamaru glanced at Naruto's face, at the faint darkening of her eyes as she remembered Haku.

Hikari continued talking, "I mean, our grandfather taught us some of the hand seals and told us about it, but we had to do it in secret in case someone found out."

Her words were flowing quickly now, stumbling over one another like she'd been wanting to say this for years.

"He told us that we couldn't tell anyone. That we might be the last ones who could do it, but we'd get in trouble if anyone found out. He made us promise that we'd never let anyone find out. I was only ten. We were so much younger. I didn't realize what he meant. I didn't know! Keita and I were practicing one day with Shota watching, and someone must have seen us. When we went home, they were all waiting, and grandfather was dead on the floor. There was blood everywhere."

Her voice dropped to a whisper, and she started to rock back and forth.

"They tried to kill us. Called us monsters. Demons. Said we deserved to die. They threw rocks and bottles and knives… and then they came at us with the swords and spears. Whatever they could find. They hit Keita with a tree branch, but he still managed to save us. He made ice come up between us and them, and then we ran and ran and ran. Shota was only six. I was ten, and Keita was twelve, but everything was gone. We never stopped running. We had some training as a ninja, though, what grandfather had shown us, and we started doing jobs for people. Painting houses, stealing, protection… killing. That's how we wound up here. We were hired to kill your friend, Kotone. He sought us out in another town and hired us. We've been trying to kill her. I mean…"

She glanced downwards and then at Naruto.

"I didn't want to! She was different than everyone else we'd killed before. She wasn't bad! But it was a job, so we had to try. Keita tried first, but he's not that good at throwing weapons; and he could never get close enough for hand to hand combat. I tried to kill her in her sleep, but that failed, too. Then Shota tried to kill her at the training grounds using my weapon, and finally I was going to kill her today. I think I would have done it, too."

Tears were spilling from her eyes and leaving shining tracks down her cheeks.

Shikamaru swallowed, feeling a hard lump in his throat. This just wasn't right. None of it was.

Keita finally spoke up as his sister fell silent. "Everything she said is the truth. I swear." He hesitated for a moment and then bowed his head, throwing his pride away. "Please have mercy on us. I cannot say that I deserve it, but please have mercy on my siblings."

"What the hell, Keita? Stop acting like a girl! If we're going to die, at least do it with your manliness intact!"

Shikamaru blinked. The person to yell had been Shota, the youngest, who was currently glaring at his big brother for trying to plead for his life?

"Shut up, you little brat and be grateful for once! I'm trying to save your life," Keita growled back at him, eye twitching.

Well, wasn't this an interesting family dynamic? Totally dysfunctional.

"Did I ask you to? No! If I'm going to die, then I'm going to die with my head held high and my pride intact!"

"It won't do you much good because you'll be dead, you little twerp!"

"Guys, can you stop fighting for once?" Hikari pleaded.

Shikamaru glanced at Naruto, who met his gaze. He could tell what she was asking. What the heck is wrong with them? He shrugged and said over the chakra earring, "_They're more dysfunctional than team seven._"

In response she stuck her tongue out at him and then turned back to the bickering siblings. "Hey, guys? I told you all that I'd make sure you weren't hurt, so you don't really need to worry about dying."

That stopped them in their tracks.

"Oh… I kinda forgot about that," Keita admitted.

Shikamaru sweat-dropped. Of all the things to forget about… Didn't that seem a little important? At least, it would be to him. Maybe these guys were nuts? Or missing a lot of brain cells.

Shikamaru stepped forward and asked the one question that really needed to be answered. "Who hired you all?"

Hikari answered. "He didn't say his name, but he was tall, with blonde hair and brown eyes." She clearly wasn't saying everything.

"And?" he prompted.

"And I'm pretty sure he was using a henge."

That was only to be expected. What sort of idiot would go hire assassins as themselves? "Could you recognize his voice or his chakra signature?"

"Yeah, I think I could. He had this weird habit, too. He kept touching the bridge of his nose or something, like he expected something to be there," Shota piped up.

Like glasses…

Naruto looked at Shikamaru. "You know who it is, don't you?"

He nodded, "Yeah. I think so." He turned to Hikari, Shota, and Keita. "If we untie you guys, you aren't going to try and kill us, are you? Because that would be really troublesome, and you'd probably die." The tone of his voice said that he probably couldn't care less if they died or not.

They hurriedly nodded and promised, "We won't try to escape or anything like that."

Naruto unbound them from the chairs, and they stood up stiffly.

Keita asked, "So, what now?"

Shikamaru let a small grin form on his face. "Now, we're going to go get the bastard who hired you, and you are going to identify him. After that, we'll probably maim him a little."

They still looked unnerved at his uncaring tone, but Naruto was nodding along and cracking her knuckles.

Shikamaru opened the door of the interrogation room. He just knew this was going to be troublesome, but it had to be done.

* * *

Dun Dun DUN! A little dramatic, no? To any of you who are disappointed that there wasn't a huge fight and violence scene... Sorry about that, but I didn't feel like it. There will be some blood and gore in the next chapter, though. I think by this point most of you know who the bastard who wants Kotone dead is, right? Right? Maybe? For some reason, the chapters seem to be getting longer as well... Huh, I wonder why. Maybe it's because I want to finish up this arc and get back to Konoha... Anyway, I hope you all like the chapter.

Ja ne,

_Rumer Hasit_

* * *

**MetallicSilver: **Arigatou! I am very glad you reviewed, and I am glad you like my story. That's great to hear, or read. I don't really mind that you didn't sign in, but I've been told that I shouldn't respond to reviews at the end of chapters, so would it be too much work to sign in if you review again? On to matters of the plot... You think it's Ozuru's aid, Katsutoshi? Has anyone ever told you you're quite intelligent?**  
**

**hana-chan: **I know. Naruto is so sweet and cute, although I'm not sure that she's really quite as clueless of Shikamaru's feelings as she acts. It's good to hear that you loved the last chapter, though. I hope you enjoy this one as well. **  
**

**Rianne: **Refreshing and well written? What wonderful things to say**. **And it's addictive as well? Well, that makes it sound even better. I apologize that it took so long to get this chapter up, but I've been preoccupied with chemistry. Anyway, I appreciate your review, and I'm just glad that you enjoy my story.

**ElleLazarus: **You read my story on your way to school on your iphone? On that tiny screen? Wow. You must like it. Thank you for telling me that you love it, that it makes you go "SQUEE!", and that you'll continue to read it. It always feels great to get reviews like yours. And, about the grammar, I know there are a few mistakes, but I will try to keep down the errors. **  
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	17. A Tiresome Traitor

**!*!*! ATTENTION... PAŽNJA... ופמערקזאַמקייַט !*!*!**

**Disclaimer:** Not one single part of Naruto belongs to me. How can you tell? Because the woman of the village never gave Rock Lee a make over.

* * *

As they made their way out of the interrogation room, Shikamaru turned to Takeshi. "Where do the aids and the council members usually work? Would they be there now?"

"Well, they were all at the festival, but some of them are probably back working by now. Or at least the aids might be. They take their job very seriously. They should be down the hall from my office. I'll show you if you like," Takeshi said, his expression showing his confusion.

Shikamaru shook his head, "I don't think it would be a good idea for you to come along. It might be dangerous. One more question. Who knows that we have the assassins in custody?"

Takeshi thought for a few seconds. "Well, besides the people in the room right now, I believe that the person who let you use the room and one other who saw you and asked me. But I'm not sure any of them actually know that these are the assassins. They just saw you carrying them."

Shikamaru nodded. "Good." That meant that the person responsible for this mess still probably didn't know.

Next to him, Hikari was staring at Kotone. Suddenly, she burst out, "I'm sorry!"

Kotone stared at her for a moment, and then said slowly, "It's… okay."

Right, because having someone try to kill you was perfectly fine and logical. Was it pure-hearted of Kotone to forgive them so easily, or just stupid?

Shikamaru opened the door leading out into the hall and let Naruto, Hikari, and Keita come through, but he held up a hand when Shota tried to follow them. "You stay here," he ordered.

Shota glared up at him. "What? You're going to make me stay here because I'm a kid, is that it? I've killed people. I don't need to be babied by a pine-apple head like yourself."

Shikamaru's eye twitched. What was it with people insulting his head and hairstyle? Maybe he should change it… but that would be troublesome. He shook his head. "No, I'm not babying you. That would imply that I actually care, which I don't. I want you to stay here under guard so that your siblings won't try to escape. Because, if they try anything, we will still have you and can kill you."

Shota stared at him for a moment longer, and then nodded decisively. "Got it." He almost seemed approving.

Weird kid.

The odd group made their way down the hall, and Shikamaru kept one eye on the two siblings. They really didn't seem to bad, besides the fact that they had killed people. Hikari seemed to be staring at Naruto with something like… Oh, Kami. Really? The girl was blushing and sneaking glances at Naruto. That's the last thing that he needed, a girl who was crushing on Naruto. Just having the entire male population wasn't enough?

Grumpily, he switched his interest to Keita, only to find the boy staring at Naruto's ass. Maybe he should have ruffed him up a little in the interrogation room.

They walked down the hall, turning right and left until they were at Takeshi's room. The room for the aides and council members should be past that, and it was.

Shikamaru turned to Keita and Hikari. "You two stay with me. Naruto, can you go in there and talk to him? Try to get him to use his chakra."

Naruto nodded, straightening her kimono and smoothing her hair, and then walked into the room, almost closing the door after her.

The guy wasn't facing them, but they could see his profile through the crack in the door. Shikamaru just watched as Naruto started her performance.

She glided up to the guy and smiled warmly. "Katsutoshi! Hi."

Katsutoshi glanced up at her, a surprised expression on his face, but it quickly morphed into a smile. "Naru-chan, hello. I didn't expect to see you here. I mean, what are you doing here?" he asked, pushing his glasses up.

Naruto perched on the edge of the desk and leaned in toward him. "I came to see you, of course. I didn't see you at the festival, and I asked Takeshi about it and he said that you'd probably be here working," Naruto said with a definite flirty quality to her voice. "You shouldn't work so much. You should take a break and have some fun." The tone implied that there were all sorts of ways they could have fun.

Shikamaru held in a growl. He didn't ask her to flirt with him! Oh, jeez. He was actually jealous. Hormones and emotions were really troublesome.

Katsutoshi smiled slimily at Naruto. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to take a little time off. Perhaps after I've finished these files? If you'd care you wait for me?" he asked, one eyebrow raised.

Naruto practically batted her eyes at him. "I wouldn't mind at all."

Shikamaru held his breath for a count of ten, trying to ignore the sudden urge to stab Katsutoshi with a pair of scissors.

There was silence for a minute as Katsutoshi filed papers and Naruto watched him, and then Naruto said, "Oh! There was something that I wanted to ask you! Takeshi said that you'd had some shinobi training. Is it true?"

Shikamaru watched as Katsutoshi stiffened abruptly and glanced at Naruto suspiciously. Seeing only a very pretty innocent looking blonde batting her eyes at him, he seemed to shrug off the suspicion. "Yes. I do have a little shinobi training. I chose not to pursue a career in that field however. I think my skills are more suited to politics."

Oh, that might not be entirely true. Back-stabbing and assassination plots are pretty useful in both fields.

Naruto leaned closer to Katsutoshi. "Really? That's so cool. I always found that sort of stuff interesting. I wanted to be a ninja, but I'm from a civilian family, and they were against it. Can you show me something, please?"

Katsutoshi hesitated, and Naruto pouted prettily. "Please?"

Ah, beautiful women were the downfall of many a powerful man.

Shikamaru watched as Katsutoshi catapulted and nodded. "Sure. What do you want to see?"

Naruto shrugged. "Whatever you want to show me."

Was he imagining it or did a lot of what they were saying have sexually charged overtones? Shikamaru shook his head. He did not want to think about it.

Then, Katsutoshi did it. He brought his hands together and formed the seals of his doom. A puff of smoke appeared and then faded away, leaving a tall guy with blonde hair and green eyes standing there.

Hikari tugged on Shikamaru's sleeve. "That's him! Different eyes, but everything else is the same. His voice and mannerisms, everything." Behind her, Keita nodded in positive agreement.

Shikamaru opened the door, and Katsutoshi turned back into himself with a pop.

"Hello, Shikama-" He stopped abruptly when he saw Keita and Hikari standing behind Shikamaru, but his surprise only lasted a few milliseconds. He smiled in a welcoming manner and said, "Shikamaru, nice to see you again, and who are your friends?"

Keita stared at him. "Don't you 'friend' us and pretend not to know us. You should remember our faces, after all, you hired us to kill Kotone."

"What are you talking about?" Katsutoshi looked at Naruto for support, but she was just looking at him blankly, emotions hidden.

"You hired us to kill Kotone for you. I recognize you," Hikari said.

"So, you're the assassins? And you're trying to blame me for this sad series of events? And you two actually believe it?"

"Yes," Shikamaru said flatly.

"Well… I don't know what I've done to deserve this sort of attack on me, but I assure you… Even if these allegations were true, I doubt that you'd be able to make the council take the word of two assassins over the word of a trusted aide." An oily quality had come into his voice. "Now, unless you have any other things to accuse me of, I'll be leaving." He started to move to the exit, but a well placed kunai thudded into the woodwork a few inches in front of him, halting his progress. Katsutoshi pushed up his glasses. "Ahh, you two are shinobi. I should have seen that coming, but it doesn't make a difference."

"Actually," Shikamaru said, stepping closer and pulling out his tanto knife, "it does. You see, I can control shadows, and I was on the same team with a girl who could force herself into other people's minds. She taught me a few things. So, now I am extremely flexible and can rip information out of your mind. I'll be able to extract every sick little thought that's in there. The only downside is that I haven't perfected the technique, so there's a chance that your mind will break and you'll turn into a gibbering mess, plus it would be kind of troublesome."

Of course, most of that was a complete and utter fabrication, but Katsutoshi didn't know that.

Katsutoshi studied him silently, and Shikamaru kept his expression confident but emotionless. Then, Katsutoshi apparently believed his lie, because he tried to run.

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. The guilty always run.

In a flash, Naruto was standing in front of the door. Katsutoshi whipped out a knife from someone on his person, but it was quickly knocked out of his hand.

"Did you really think you could get past two full-fledged shinobi?" Shikamaru asked. If they had been civilians, Katsutoshi probably would have escaped.

Realizing that he had definitely exposed himself as the one behind the murder plot, Katsutoshi seemed to change emotions again. He relaxed, stood still, and ran a hand through his hair. "Well, I thought it would work."

"So you admit it?" Naruto asked, speaking for the first time.

"Yes, I do. Hum… And I didn't think that anyone would suspect me, even if these idiots got caught." Hikari and Keita seemed to take offense to that.

"Why did you do it?" Shikamaru asked, although he already knew. Greed. Greed of power. The same thing that drove so many men and women down illegal paths.

Katsutoshi shrugged. "Well, I wanted power, of course. I am rather brilliant, and I'm sure that in time I would have peen promoted to a position of power, but why wait twenty years when you can have it in a fraction of the time? I just needed a couple of people out of the way first. Kotone needed to die. After that, things would have been simple. It wouldn't have been hard to have everyone believe that Takeshi, after his daughter's tragic death, buried himself in his work and, while out finding shinobi to come to the village, got killed by a rogue one. Ozuru would then be put in charge, and would be his aide. He's got a bad heart, so he would die soon enough, and, if not, the process could always be helped along a little. Then I would b-"

Shikamaru cut him off. "You know what? You are really boring to listen to. I already knew all of this." Seriously, what was it with evil guys and their monologs about their plans? "We even have your confession. You're going to spend the rest of your life in prison. I don't think your life is going to be very long, though. Plotting to assassinate your leader's daughter and then him and then possibly another person? I'm pretty sure that calls for a death sentence."

Katsutoshi, after initially scowling at him, smiled thinly. "Actually, I don't think that's going to happen. I'm guessing that you didn't guess it was me by just listening to these two. You probably looked at the history of the village. Maybe some old laws." He pushed up his glasses. "Let me enlighten you about another one. Members of the council cannot be sentenced to death, and that law applies to aides as well. I'll probably get a life sentence, but there won't be any death sentence for me. And who knows how long I'll actually be in prison."

Shikamaru, along with Naruto and the two assassins stared at him. Shikamaru felt a headache coming on. What was wrong with the old laws of this place? They seemed to be put in place to purposely get in the way and make things difficult.

Katsutoshi stood there, looking smug even though his plans had failed and he'd been captured. Shikamaru glanced to the side and saw Keita and Hikari glaring at him. Naruto was glaring, too, but her glare was on another level. He was surprised that Katsutoshi hadn't spontaneously combusted from it yet. He looked back at Katsutoshi. The guy hadn't even moved a muscle, just stood there complacently. It was incredibly annoying.

He nodded. "You know what? You're right. I suppose you won't be put to death like you deserve, but I still think that you shouldn't get away with it."

At his words, Katsutoshi stiffened. "You're going to kill me?"

Why did almost all people think that being a shinobi meant that you had no morals and could kill whenever you felt like it? Well… Actually, when he thought about it that wasn't too far from the truth. He pushed that thought out of his mind, and said, "No, I'm not going to kill you." He turned to Naruto, Keita, and Hikari. "Suspects usually get a little roughed up when they try to escape and then get recaptured, right? And when the person isn't cooperating?"

The three nodded slowly, not quite sure where he was going with it.

"Would you three agree that he's not cooperating?"

As if an exploding tag went off in their heads, they knew what he was talking about, and so did Katsutoshi.

He backed away from them. "You… You're going to injure me?"

"Nope. Just maim you a little."

"That's the same thing!"

"Okay, then, yes, we are."

For the first time, a glimmer of fear showed on Katsutoshi's face. Apparently, he wasn't a big fan of pain. Too bad… for him. Sure, what was about to go down was probably a little, or a lot, wrong, according to some people, but letting him go scot free seemed even more wrong.

"Naruto, would you like to go first?"

She nodded and then stepped in front of Katsutoshi. At first, she didn't do anything, just stood there looking at him for a moment. Then, she slapped his across the face, leaving a burning red imprint of her hand on his face. "How could you! Kotone trusted you. She thought you were her friend. And… and you like ramen! You bastard!" She punched him in the stomach. "You. Don't. Deserve. Ramen!" Each word was punctuated with a blow.

Shikamaru just stood back and nodded as she punched him. It would figure that she'd be upset about that. Ramen was sacred to Naruto, and Katsutoshi was a fellow ramen lover who turned out to be an evil, manipulating piece of dirt. Following Naruto-logic, she probably felt betrayed, horrified, and justifiably pissed off.

Naruto moved to punch him again, but this time Katsutoshi struck back, striking at her with a quickness that Shikamaru didn't know he had.

Naruto looked down at where he had struck her. A kunai was half imbedded in her shoulder, and scarlet blood was already staining her kimono.

Shikamaru mouth went dry and he stepped forward, anger welling within him, ready to kick the shit out of Katsutoshi, but Naruto got there first.

"You think a kunai is going to protect you and stop me? Well, you're wrong!" she snarled, her leg a blur as it crashed into his side, sending him flying into the wall. A small amount of chakra was starting to leak out, but it wasn't hers. It was the Kyuubi's. After several more satisfying kicks and punches, Naruto hauled Katsutoshi upright and slammed her knee into his groan, making him elicite a high-pitched squeal of pain before falingl back to the floor.

Shikamaru, along with Keita, winced. There were some things that no man deserved to have done to him. Shikamaru looked down at the groaning pile of bloodied and maimed flesh on the floor dispassionately. He couldn't find it in him to feel the least bit sorry about what had just occurred. Instead, he was worried about Naruto. The entire shoulder of her kimono was now stained the deep red of fresh blood, and she didn't even seem to notice.

"Naruto, let's get you patched up. I don't think Katsutoshi is in any shape to try and escape," he said, putting a hand on her arm.

She took a deep breath, calming herself, and then looked down at the metal protruding from her shoulder as if she hadn't seen it before. With one smooth move, she yanked it out and tossed it to the floor carelessly. "No, I'm okay. Kyuu-chan will heal me. It's not that big a wound."

"But-"

"Shikamaru, I'm fine." It was the tone of voice she took when there was no room for argument, usually when the discussion had something to do with ramen.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hikari and Keita give the unconscious form of Katsutoshi a kick. He tried again, "Naruto-"

But before he could say anything else, the door opened, revealing a shocked Takeshi. The man's eyes flickered from person to person rapidly. A bloodied Naruto, smug looking assassins, and a bloody and bruised mess on the floor. "Shikamaru… What happened? Why is Naruto bleeding, and why is one of my aides on the floor mauled?"

Ah yes… When he says it like that is does sound a little sketchy.

Shikamaru walked over to Takeshi, taking particular care to step on Katsutoshi as he did so, and said, "Why don't we go somewhere else less bloody and sit down and I'll tell you everything?"

Takeshi looked around Shikamaru to Katsutoshi. "Is he alive?"

"Yes, he's fine. Just a few minor contusions and bruises."

"His arm looks like it's bent in half."

"And some broken bones," Shikamaru amended. "He'll be fine. Although you might want to get a healer in her before he bleeds to death. Now, let's go and I'll explain everything. Yeah?"

For some reason speechless, Takeshi just nodded, and let Shikamaru lead him away. Naruto followed them after asking the siblings to carry Katsutoshi.

They did, but not without dropping him several times gleefully. Hikari and Keita got dropped on at the interrogation room, back with their brother, Katsutoshi got taken into custody and supplied with a medic-nin, and then Naruto, Shikamaru, and Takeshi retreated to Takeshi's office where Kotone was waiting.

The girl jumped up the second they entered, eyes widening as she ran to Naruto. "You're bleeding!" she gasped.

Naruto waved it aside and plopped down into one of the chairs. "I'm fine. I just got careless."

"You need to see a medic!"

Shikamaru nodded inwardly. At least someone agreed with him.

Naruto rolled her sky-blue eyes. "I'm fine, although I am a little hungry. Do we have any ramen?"

Shikamaru sweat-dropped. Of course…

Takeshi turned to him. "Tell me what happened."

And so he did, telling them everything about the assassins and Katsutoshi and his plans and the old laws of the village that would have come into play.

When he was done, the first thing Takeshi said was, "I want to smack the boy," and the second thing was, "We really need to abolish those old laws."

Shikamaru nodded. He knew there was a reason that he liked Takeshi. The guy had a good head on his shoulders. He leaned back farther back into the chair, slumping in it comfortably. Everything had been wrapped up. The assassination was taken care of, the people caught, and the mission done. Which meant…

He glanced sideways at Naruto who was comforting Kotone. Which meant that they would go back to Konoha, and who knew what would happen then? Would he and Naruto get closer or would they just go back to being sort of friends that hung out once in a while?

He rubbed his head. Kami, the situation was troublesome.

* * *

Hey, sorry this took so long to get up. Things have been... difficult. Never mind. I just hope you all enjoy this. I'll try to get chapters up sooner for you all.

Ja ne,

_Rumer Hasit_


	18. An Exasperating Exit

**!*!*! ATTENTION... ARRETA... УВАГА !*!*!**

**Disclaimer: **Is the relationship between the three main characters dysfunctional? Yes, it is. That's how you know I didn't write it. Wait, that's not right... It would be more dysfunctional if I wrote it. Read on.

* * *

Shikamaru shrugged into a jacket, patting the pockets to make sure that all of his exploding tags, kunai, and shuriken were in their places.

Everything that had happened between Shikamaru, Naruto, and Katsutoshi had supposed to be secret, kept from the population so as not to alarm them. So, naturally, everyone in the village knew what had occurred. Shikamaru wasn't even sure how everyone had found out, but they had, and now he and Naruto were known as shinobi and were the "heroes" of the village. Not only that, but two dozen people had tried to sneak into the jail and attempt to kill Katsutoshi, furious that he had plotted against Kotone and Takeshi.

But now, even though he and Naruto had been invited to stay in the village for as long as they liked, it was time to return to Konoha.

He took one last glance around the room that he had been staying in, and then turned and walked out of the room, going over to Naruto's.

He cleared his throat, "Naruto, you in there?"

As much as he would have liked to simply walk in without announcing himself, hopefully while Naruto was changing, he wasn't going to. He didn't want to be a Kakashi or a Kazuo. Perverts.

"Yeah, come on in!" Naruto replied.

Shikamaru paused and frowned. What was wrong with her voice? It sounded distinctly off. He slid opened the door, and came face to face with Naruto, but it was a very male Naruto. He blinked. What the…

Naruto was standing in front of him, wearing a pair of standard shinobi pants and a short-sleeved dark orange shirt. She, no he… Was she a she or a he at this point? She smiled at him, and Shikamaru almost felt like bashing his head on the wall. What had happened to his Naruto? Naruto was so much nicer to look like when she was a girl.

"Naruto… Why are you dressed like that?" he asked slowly, hoping that this was just a nightmare. He considered pinching himself momentarily, but then dismissed the idea as troublesome.

"Huh? Oh, well… Now that the mission is over, I don't need to be a girl anymore."

There were so many things wrong with that simple sentence.

"But you are a girl," Shikamaru pointed out.

She, or was it he? Frowned at him and said in a low voice, "I know, but… Listen, back in Konoha, I'm a guy, right? Everyone knows me as a guy. Here, almost everyone thinks I'm a girl. I know it might seem paranoid, but I don't want the people here to think of me as a girl. I want them to think I'm a guy. Just so that if any of them come to Konoha, they refer to me as a guy." She sighed and rubbed her hand over her face. "Does that make any sense? I don't want any attention being drawn to my gender back there."

Shikamaru just stared. She was freaking out slightly. He could see her point, even if it was ever so slight. She was completely over reacting, and he wasn't just thinking that because he preferred to see her in her actual female form. "You do know that you're going to have to tell people eventually, right?"

She nodded. "Yes… Eventually." Naruto's face had that stubborn look that it got when the topic had to do with training, and he knew better than to argue.

"Fine… The guys are going to be disappointed, though," he muttered.

Naruto looked at him curiously. "What do you mean?"

He shook his head. "Nothing." Yep. The guys, and most likely some of the girls, were going to have a fit about this. Not that Naruto wasn't cute as a guy, but it just wasn't the same. He sighed. "Come on, we've got to meet Takeshi in his office. He has a message for us to take to Lady Tsunade," he said, turning and walking away.

"Okay!" Naruto bounded after him.

As they made their way down the streets, people were staring at them, open mouthed and gaping. Not at him, but at Naruto. It was easy to see the resemblance between girl-Naruto and guy-Naruto, so the people were probably wondering whether Naruto had a brother, if they were hallucinating, or… whether Naruto was actually a guy.

As they passed, Shikamaru swore he saw one of the guys faint. Naruto, of course, seemed completely oblivious to everything going on.

Finally, and after a whole bunch more stares, they made it to Takeshi's office. They pushed opened the doors to Takeshi's office, and then stood before him, waiting.

Takeshi waved one hand vaguely, not glancing up from the paper he was scribbling rapidly on. "Sit down you two. I'll have this done in just a moment."

They nodded and waited.

Then, with a flourish on the paper, he signed his name and looked up. His eyes widened, and his pen skidded across the paper, leaving an unsightly blot. "Naruto?"

Wow, what a reaction.

Naruto nodded and gave a slightly wave. "Hey, Takeshi."

"You…"

"You forgot that I'm a guy, didn't you?"

"…"

The silence answered that question. After another moment, Takeshi seemed to realize that he was staring at Naruto, and quickly cleared his throat. "No, I didn't forget."

Lies. Shikamaru snorted.

"I was just surprised. I'm just so used to seeing your other form. That's all. So, this is how you really look?" Naruto nodded, and Takeshi muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like, "What a waste."

Then, there was a crash behind them.

Shikamaru whirled around, only to see Kotone standing stock still in the doorway, a shattered pottery mug on the ground in front of her, staring at Naruto. Apparently, Naruto's new look was causing some troublesome reactions. First Takeshi, and now Kotone.

Naruto jumped over the sofa and rushed to Kotone. "Are you alright? What's wrong?"

She blinked. "Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"Oh… So it is you."

"Yep."

"You're very… guyish."

Naruto looked at her oddly. "That might be because I'm a guy."

"Right." She seemed to be going into some mild form of shock.

Naruto guided Kotone down into a chair and shot Shikamaru a questioning look. "_What's wrong with them?_" she asked over the link of their earrings.

She seriously had no idea? "_They're just surprised by your new look._" That's an understatement.

Takeshi finally stopped staring at Naruto and turned to Shikamaru, rolling up the scroll he had been writing as he did so. "This is for Lady Tsunade. For her eyes only."

Shikamaru nodded and took the scroll. He knew better than to show the scroll to anyone else.

Takeshi leaned back in his chair. "Now… I know that you two have to leave, but there's something I want to say to you two before you go. I am in your debt. No, don't interrupt. I know that you were sent here by your hokage to protect Kotone and find who was trying to harm her, but I am still in your debt. She is everything to me, and you saved her. You will always be welcome here. Anytime you're in trouble, you send a message to me, or come here, and I will try to help you. Now, is there anything you two want? Anything at all before you leave?"

Shikamaru shook his head. "Nothing I can think of. I appreciate the offer, though. Thank you, Takeshi."

To his surprise, Naruto didn't decline the offer. "Actually, there is something that I want," Naruto said.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. What one earth could she want? He sincerely hoped that it wasn't a life-time supply of ramen. He really didn't want to help haul it back to Konoha.

"I want Hikari, Keita, and Shota." Naruto's voice almost seemed to echo around the room.

Takeshi shook his head. "What was that again?"

"I want Keita, Hikari, and Shota turned over to my care," Naruto repeated evenly. "I promised them that they wouldn't be hurt. You're going to either kill them or keep them in prison, right? Because, even if they weren't the ones behind the plot to kill Kotone, they were still the ones who were hired to do it. I swore on my honor as a shinobi that I would see that they weren't harmed." Naruto paused, letting this sink in, and then continued. "Besides that… There's also the fact that we, Shikamaru and I, are here on a mission given to us by lady Tsunade, our hokage, the hokage of Konoha, and we captured them, which means that technically they're our bounty."

Now Takeshi wasn't the only one staring at Naruto.

Shikamaru replayed what she had said in his head. Besides the fact that it was stupidly honorable to try and save the assassins… Naruto was actually making sense, and she was using politics and logic to try and argue her point. Who was this and where had Naruto gone? She really did know a lot more than she let on. But, even if she made a good point, it would still put Takeshi in an awkward position. Letting the people who had tried to kill his daughter go? People probably wouldn't approve of that.

"Naruto. I don't-" Takeshi started to say, but Kotone cut him off. "Yes. Naruto, you can take them with you."

Did Kotone just overrule Takeshi? Yes, yes she did.

Takeshi turned to his daughter in bewilderment. "Kotone?"

"I want Naruto to take them. I don't think they're bad people. They've just done what they had to so that they could survive. Hikari already apologized to me, and I've forgiven her," Kotone said, face serene. "If they stay here, they will be imprisoned at the very least, but if they go… Naruto, what are you planning to do to them?"

"I want to try and see if I can make them Shinobi of Konoha. I want to see if I can give them a… a home."

Shikamaru groaned quietly and grabbed a cigarette from his pouch. All of the feelings in the room were smothering him. It was a girl thing, wasn't it? Kotone had forgiven them, despite everything, and Naruto wanted to… bring them into Konoha and make them respectable. Well, as respectable as ninjas were. And he had the oddest feeling that she'd succeed.

He shook his head mentally. What was he thinking? This was Naruto! Of course she'd succeed. Besides, if the family really did have that bloodline, Hyoton, then the council wouldn't care if they were psychotic mass-murders with a taste for human flesh as long as they pledged themselves to Konoha and continued their line there.

Both Naruto and Kotone were staring at Takeshi, waiting for his decision.

The older man gave a small laugh. "Well, I see that I'm outnumbered. Naruto, you may take them with you. They are now your responsibility."

Naruto bowed. "Thank you, Takeshi-san."

He waved the formalities away. "There's no need for that. Kotone, will you go ask someone to bring the pris- I mean, Hikari, Keita, and Shota here?"

She nodded, smiling slightly, and slipped out of the room.

The next thing Shikamaru knew, his cigarette was plucked from between his lips and he was looking into the face of a pissed Naruto. "Shika! What did I tell you? No smoking! It's bad for you. It'll ruin your lungs and kill your taste buds." And with that, his precious cigarette was incinerated in a spout of flame in Naruto's hand.

He groaned. Why couldn't she just let him smoke a little? But, no, she kept destroying them. And they were expensive on top of that.

It didn't help the situation that Takeshi was making a sound that was suspiciously close to a giggle.

Shikamaru glared at him and Takeshi's face morphed into an innocent expression. Wearily, Shikamaru shook his head. What was wrong with all of the people he knew? Or maybe he was just too normal. And that was saying something, considering that he was a genius, which wasn't exactly normal.

The doors to the office opened once more, and Kotone stepped through, followed by Keita, Hikari, Shota, and then Hisako.

There were various reactions when they all saw Naruto, but none of them were entirely flattering.

Hisako merely blinked, astonished, and then shrugged as if thinking about it would lead to a headache that he didn't particularly want.

Hikari gasped, her eyes widening an alarming extent. "N-Naruto… is that you?" The tone of her voice implied, "Please tell me it's not."

Naruto sighed, clearly getting tired of the response. "Yes, it's me."

Hikari clasped her hands together. "W-why are you using a henge?"

"I'm not. Before I was using a henge. This is how I really look."

Hikari shook her head stubbornly. "No! That can't be right. It doesn't suit you!"

Shota and Keita merely exchanged glances and then shook their heads. "What a shame."

Since Hikari seemed to be in denial about Naruto's gender, Keita turned to Takeshi, swallowing nervously. "May I ask why you want to see us? Your daughter didn't tell us."

Takeshi nodded. "Yes… Well, Naruto had a request of me, and I've granted it. You are going to leave the Yugakure today, under the eye of Naruto. She, sorry, he is going to be responsible for you."

The three siblings frowned in confusion and eyed Naruto warily. "Why?"

"Because, I'm going to try to get you three accepted into Konoha, as Shinobi. I want you three to be somewhere where you'll be accepted and happy."

Their eyes widened, and then the next thing Shikamaru knew, Naruto was at the bottom of a four-person hug.

"Thank you!" Hikari sniffed, eyes shining with tears.

To the obvious disdain of his little brother, Keita was crying. "You are such a good person, Naruto, even if you aren't a hot chick anymore," he blubbered. He turned around and rubbed his sleeve over his eyes. "I'm not crying. I just have something in my eyes."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. That was possibly the worst excuse ever made for covering up tears.

Shota rolled his eyes at his sibling's reactions and said simply, "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Naruto said with a warm, wide smile.

Keita and Hikari were hugging Naruto again, and Shikamaru forced down a wave of jealously. Seriously, what was wrong with him? They were just being grateful. There was nothing sexual or lecherous about it at all. He cleared his throat. "I hate to break this up, but we have a long trip back to Konoha, and I'd like to get back before the sun goes down. It would be troublesome to travel in the dark."

Takeshi and Kotone stood up. "We'll walk you to the gate."

He nodded and turned to the three siblings. "Just for future reference, if you guys try to run, I will seriously maim you. Clear?"

They nodded hurriedly.

The group make their way out of the building and down the streets in silence. People were still staring at the group, even more now, but they didn't approach.

They had almost made it to the gate of the village before more people appeared. Nagisa and Yukio. They came running up and barreled into Naruto, knocking her to the ground.

"You were going to leave without saying goodb-" Nagisa started to yell, and then froze mid-rant when she saw that she was lying on top of a very male Naruto. "You… What? Huh?" she managed unintelligibly.

Yukio had scrambled to his feet and was staring at Naruto blankly.

Nagisa cleared her throat and tried again, but all that came out was a squeak. "Naruto?"

Naruto grinned nervously. "Yeah. And before you ask, this really is me. I was wearing a henge before. Umm… Could you get off of me?"

Nagisa blushed furiously and jumped up off of Naruto. Then, her eyes widened. "Wait, does this mean that what you told me about…" She lowered her voice but Shikamaru still caught the words, "About my chest filling out… That was a lie?"

Shikamaru just refrained from rolling his eyes. Really? She found out that Naruto was a guy and that's the first thing that her mind jumped to? He would never understand girls, and he didn't want to, either. It would be far too troublesome.

Naruto shook her head. "No! I mean, I didn't lie. It's true, it just didn't happen to me. It happened to a really, really good friend of mine," she said, ruffling Nagisa's hair.

Nagisa seemed to accept that, and looked down shyly, her face growing even pinker from Naruto's affectionate gesture.

Oh no… That's just what he did not need. He did not need Nagisa forming a crush on male Naruto. What the heck was it? Maybe the Kyuubi gave out some sort of pheromone that attracted people? No, it was just Naruto. There was just something… special about her. Shikamaru switched his gaze to Yukio, who hadn't moved yet.

He seemed to be staring at Naruto in a sort of mute horror.

Naruto waved a hand in front of his face worriedly. "Yukio?"

"You… You're a guy?" the boy finally managed to stutter out.

"Yes…"

"Nooo! This can't be happening!" Yukio grabbed Shikamaru's shirt and shook it. "Please, tell me this isn't happening. Tell me it's some sort of horrible nightmare. I'm asleep right now, aren't I?"

He sounded so hopeful. It would be so cruel to burst his bubble… "Nope, you're not dreaming at all."

The boy slid to the ground, and wailed, "Nooo!"

Wow… Shikamaru hid a grin. There must be something really wrong with him for enjoying this.

Then, another person joined their extremely weird farewell party. With a puff of warm mist, Kazuo appeared. "I'm here to say goodbye to the beautiful Naru-chan! How would you like to leave your boy-friend and stay here with me?" he said, practically singing the words. He saw Naruto. And then he fainted on the spot.

Yukio crawled over to his mentor in the more perverted arts and collapsed on top of him. "His heart just wouldn't take the betrayal! Why, Naruto? Why?"

Shikamaru's eye twitched. What the heck was wrong with these people? It's like they were trying to set a new level of abnormalness never reached before. This made bowl cuts and green spandex look normal, which was saying something.

Naruto huffed. "What is wrong with them?"

Kotone answered that one. "Too many things to count, but right now? I'd say they preferred you as a girl."

"I still refuse to accept that you're a boy!" Hikari added in stubbornly.

Naruto groaned and turned to Nagisa. "You think I'm fine as a guy, right?"

She nodded, blush turning an alarming shade of red. "Uh huh. You certainly are fine."

Shikamaru's jaw dropped. Please say that he hadn't heard that he thought he just heard. Nagisa just hit on Naruto! And Naruto was completely oblivious to it. Was nothing sacred anymore?

On the ground, Kazuo began to stir. He raised a hand to his head. "Jeez… What a bad dream." His eyes flickered open, and he sat up. "I dreamed that Naru-chan was really a…" He caught sight of Naruto again and then quickly turned to Yukio. "Tell me I'm hallucinating."

Yukio gave a sad shake of his head. "You're not."

Kazuo looked back at Naruto to quickly that he might have gotten whiplash, running his eyes over her male form. Then, after a few moments, he clasped his head in his hands and began to mutter. "Why? What have I done to deserve this? The epitome of female hotness wasn't real… Those perfect breasts." He went on in that vein for quite a while.

It took most of Shikamaru's willpower to keep from braining the perverted ninja.

Naruto sweat-dropped. "Kazuo… Come on, man. Don't be sad. There are still plenty of beautiful women out there. Are you crying? No! Stop that. Look, I'm still going to take your manuscript to Jiraiya, and I'll make sure that he reads the manuscript you gave me, okay?"

Kazuo nodded eyes brightening slightly, but he still seemed depressed.

Naruto cleared her throat. "I think we should go."

Isn't that what he'd been saying for the past half an hour?

Naruto gave quick hugs to Kotone, Takeshi, Nagisa, and Hisako. Yukio and Kazuo refused hugs, claiming that they could still cling to the hope that they were hallucinating.

Kotone even surprised Shikamaru by giving him a warm hug, and Hisako and Takeshi shook his hand.

"If you guys ever need help, just send a message to Baa-chan, I mean, Lady Tsunade. Okay?"

Kotone nodded, eyes suspiciously shiny.

And then Naruto, Shikamaru, and their charges turned and walked towards the open gate.

A sudden thought struck him. There was the seal in front of the entrance to the village. Wouldn't it undo Naruto's Henge? He asked the question over their link, but the answer came back negative.

"_No, I'll be fine. I had a talk with Yukio, and found out that it all depends on the way that you move over the seal. I should be fine_," she answered.

They stepped over the threshold of the village… and nothing happened. Naruto was still a guy.

The energetic blonde shinobi waved at the group of people watching them, and shouted. "Bye! Come see me in Konoha sometime!"

Shikamaru gave them a small lazy wave of his own, and then they were off, traveling towards Konoha. Hikari, Keita, and Shota running in between them.

Shikamaru kept an eye on them. If everything went okay, they should arrive in Konoha before the sun went down, or the morning after. After all, it had only taken days before because they were traveling at a civilian's pace, but even Shota was far faster.

Shikamaru sighed, feeling an odd mixture of relief and anxiety. The mission was officially over, but what would happen now? He let out a lazy sigh. Really, he had the feeling that what ever was going to happen, it would be troublesome.

* * *

I'm back! I want to formally apologize for the huge gap between chapters, and I would also like to... place all of the blame on someone else. I was kidnapped by aliens. Now, replace "kidnapped" with "forcibly encouraged" and "aliens" with "parents" and you'll have what really happened. But, I am back, and I hope you all enjoy the chapter.

Ja ne,

_Rumer Hasit_

* * *

**Cenright:** Hum. Well, it's sort of going to be a one mission and then a whole bunch of high-jinks back in Konoha story. I suppose... Or something like that. All I know is that there's going to be more chapters. After all, I can't end it before Naruto gets exposed and Shikamaru gets the girl, right?

**Immortal Sailor Cosmos:** Yes, poor, Shikamaru. He gets so close to Naruto, but it seems like the universe is conspiring against him. But, don't worry, I'll give him more chances to win Naruto over.

**childofflameandwave:** Thank you very much. I've given up on trying to make this an action story and have come to the conclusion that I'm just good at writing fluff and light comedy, but if you like it, that's all that matters.

**NARU Chan Fangirl**: Ah, I'm sorry. Takeshi and Kotone didn't find out about Naruto's secret. They will, though. I promise. And... I didn't exactly update quickly, either. Sorry about that, too. But, thank you for the happy holiday wishes. I appreciate it. I hope your holidays were good as well.

**sky040:** You like my story? No, you said you love my story. Thank you. Thank you very much. And thank you for reviewing as well. It's always nice to know that people like it.

**Dezzal:** Thank you. I'm glad you liked that last chapter. I hope you enjoyed this one as well.

**faber277:** Aw, well, thank you very much. I will definitely keep writing, and I hope you keep reading the story, too.

**Shinigami's-Neko-Gami:** Yep, Katsutoshi was kind of a bastard, and Naruto was fully justified in beating him down. Shikamaru does need some help with Naruto, doesn't he? I think I might cut him a little slack in future chapters.

**xbamsod:** Yes, I promise there will be more fluff once they get back to Konoha. I'm a guy! I shouldn't be good at writing fluff, romance, and light comedy, but I am. But it's all good as long as you like it.

**Solidus:** *take a bow* Well, thank you very much. Glad you enjoyed the story so far.

**Berri Sprinkles:** I think I'm blushing from all of the praise in your review. I guess all I can say is that I'm happy that you like the story, and that I'm very glad that you told me. I hope you keep reading.

**Huoyingmi:** Thank you, thank you, and thank you. When I write all I really want to do is entertain and make people laugh, and apparently I've succeeded. And I'm glad you think that everything hangs together pretty well logic-wise. I do try.

**animeboylover:** Ah! I do apologize for not updating sooner, but unavoidable things sort of got in my way. But, I do hope you're still reading and that you liked this chapter.

**harlequin320:** Yeah, I wanted to try and wrap up whole murder-plot thing, but I didn't want it to get too serious. I don't think I'm as good at writing that sort of thing. But, really, thanks for reviewing.

**Fire Dolphin:** Yes, Shikamaru does indeed need to get a move on and try to kiss Naruto or something. Hopefully, the universe won't get in the way again and he can make some progress.

**Mystia Katsuragi:** I loved your review for chapter four. Glad to know that it made you laugh. And you're caught up. I wasn't really sure if it was okay, my OCs, I mean, but people seem to like them (except Kazuo) so, good. And about the whole Hisako/Hisoka... I think I've used it both ways throughout the story. Once again, I'm sorry it took so long to update.

**hana-chan:** Yeah, Shikamaru's a nice guy, isn't he? Being worried about Naruto and wanting to get closer to her despite all of her... quirks.

**MoonPrincess623:** I think you might be right about the sort of relationship between Sasuke and Naruto, but if he is like a older brother... He's going to be an extremely protective older brother. I love the Shika/Naru pairings, too.

**Anie6142:** Well, just as you wish. I hope you liked the chapter.

**Ice Cold Steel:** Um. No, no one has died, or in debt or anything like that. It's just family issues... A lot of family issues. Almost entirely family issues, actually. Not the good kind. And just dealing with the future and stuff... and actually someone's illness, too. But... Things have been a little better lately. Thanks for asking, though. Now, onto the chapter. Jeez... I had a lot of grammar issues in the last chapter, huh? I'll have to fix those. And as for Shota. It's just that he's basically grown up on the run, and can't remember anything else, really. So, he's a little odd. Does that explain anything at all? Maybe? Maybe not? And, yes, Hikari is a lesbian. But, um, thanks for reviewing. I always like reading what you think, good and bad.

**ZAFO:** Wow. That is an absolutely brilliant review. Thank you so much. The best femNaru story... What an honor. And it's even better that you like my OCs. I hope you liked this chapter and thanks for reviewing.

**Sillvog:** Nope. I swear, this isn't the end. I mean, it is the end of the mission, but it's not the end of the story. There's more to come.

**VampiricBloOdyRose:** Ah! I've converted you into someone who likes femNaru stories, or is it just mine? Either way, I'm glad that you like it. Thanks for reveiwing.

**Vivid x Dreams:** I think I rather like Shika jealous like this. It makes him a little more human, and it's fun to write. But, really, people seem to realy dislike Kazuo. Poor guy, hated because he's a pervert... Well... Okay, he might deserve some of it. Nice to know you like my story, and I'm glad to see that you're rooting for Shikamaru and Naruto to get together.


	19. An Upsetting Utterance

**!*!*! ATTENTION ... توجہ ... УВАГА !*!*!**

**Disclaimer:** I have never owned, do not own, and will never own any part of Naruto... Which means I'll spend my time writing this fanfiction instead of having millions of dollars and a wildly popular series. Hope you like it.

* * *

They reached the gates of Konoha the next morning.

Naruto let out a whoop and ran ahead, waving with zeal at the shinobi at the gate. "Hey! I'm back!"

Shikamaru heard the guards laugh and welcome the blonde ball of energy back. He, himself, followed at a more leisurely pace, still keeping one eye on Keita, Hikari, and Shota. They hadn't shown any signs of wanting to run away, and they still didn't. If anything, they looked nervous.

Naruto was questioning the guards when he caught up with them. "So, how has Baa-chan been while I was gone?"

"You mean the Hokage?"

Naruto gave him a look that clearly said, "Who else?"

"She's been her normal self. Punching people. Drinking sake, maybe a little more than usual," the guard replied, and then looked past Naruto to give a nod to Shikamaru. Then, he looked at the three siblings. "Who are they?"

"Oh, they're friends. Don't worry. I'll vouch for them, " Naruto assured him.

Shikamaru repressed a laugh. Only Naruto could call people who she had just met, and who were assassins captured on their latest mission, friends. Of course, that was a whole lot more likely to get them into the village than telling the whole truth. Not that Naruto lied or anything.

The guard, a man in his thirties with mousy brown hair, looked to Shikamaru for confirmation of Naruto's words.

He sighed. Way to drag him into this mess. He nodded. "Yeah, I'll vouch for them, too." And he was rewarded for saying that with a five thousand mega-watt smile from Naruto. His heart thumped loudly, and he willed down a blush. Damned hormones.

There were no more questions or problems, and, a minute later, they were in Konoha. They went straight to the Hokage's office, surprisingly not meeting any of their former teammates on the way and were shown directly into Lady Tsunade's office.

The big-breasted Hokage was busy pouring herself some sake when they arrived.

Shikamaru shook his head. He really shouldn't be surprised. The woman drank sake how other people drank water. What was her blood-alcohol level anyway? It was probably off the charts.

Her eyes widened, and she stood up behind her desk. "Naruto, Shikamaru! You're back!" she said, sounded extremely relieved. She swiftly skirted around the desk and brought Naruto into a crushing embrace.

Shikamaru stepped back in case he was going to be the next victim.

Naruto flailed her limbs and gasped out, "Baa-chan! Can't breathe…" And it was true, she was being smothered by obscenely large breasts.

Tsunade let go, slightly embarrassed by the overt show of fondness and sat back down behind her desk while Naruto took gulps of air. The Hokage turned her attention to the three people in the room that she didn't know. "Who are they, Brat?" she asked.

Naruto opened her mouth to explain, but Shikamaru stepped forward and brought out the scroll that Takeshi had given him. "Maybe you should read this first, Lady Tsunade. It might explain some things," he offered.

She nodded and took the scroll from him, taking another gulp of sake before settling back in her chair and reading it. He sat back down and glanced at Naruto, whose attention was riveted on the Hokage, one leg bouncing with suppressed energy and nervousness. He sneakily grabbed a cigarette from his pouch and lit it, inhaling the smoke, and then blowing it out through his nose.

Naruto was too absorbed to even notice, for once.

He took another drag. This was probably his first cigarette, or at least the first one he'd actually gotten a chance to savor, since he'd found out Naruto was really a member of the fairer sex, and he was damn well going to enjoy it.

After another minute or two, Lady Tsunade looked up from the message from Takeshi. "These three are the ones that almost killed Takeshi's daughter? Why the hell are they here?" she demanded.

Okay, so apparently Takeshi hadn't explained everything. How troublesome. Shikamaru crushed his cigarette against the bottom of his shoe and cleared his throat before she could explode or hurl any sake bottles. "Maybe I could clear things up, Lady Tsunade."

She raised an eyebrow as if to say, "You better."

He sighed, wondering once again why he'd become a ninja, and then proceeded to explain everything that had happened during their mission, finishing by saying, "… and so Naruto thought that it would be in the best interests of the village to bring Hikari, Keita, and Shota with us. If what they say is true, then Konoha could be host to ninja with Hyoton, perhaps the last living ones with that special ability."

Naruto nodded along vigorously with what he said. "He's absolutely right, Baa-chan!"

That was complete and utter bull. Naruto probably hadn't given a thought to their unique bloodline, but had instead just thought they were good people at heart and wanted to give them somewhere where they could be happy. She was just so good hearted… He glanced at the three siblings, who were still standing awkwardly in the corner of the room.

"You three!" Tsunade barked at them, making them jump.

"Y-yes, ma'am?" Keita stuttered, stepping forward as if to shield his siblings from her wrath.

The Hokage snorted. "There's no need to look at me like that. I'm not going to disembowel you."

"Unless you steal her sake," Naruto said with a grin.

One punch later, Naruto was clutching her head and whimpering, and Tsunade was back facing the siblings. "Now, as I was saying before this idiot interrupted me-"

"Hey!"

She ignored the blonde.

"I'm not going to hurt you three. I just want to know some things, okay? Good. Now, do you three really have Hyoton?" Three nods answered her. "And, if you are accepted into this village, will you stay here, protect it and it's people, and listen to the authority of the village?" Again, three silent, solemn, yet hopeful, nods. "Good," she leaned back in her chair. "I actually believe you. It's just like the brat to go out on a mission and bring back you three. The council is just going to love this."

Suddenly, she let out a yell that seemed to shake the foundations of the building. "Sakura, get in here!"

A moment later, the pink-haired ninja appeared. "Yes, Tsunade-sama?"

"Take these three down to Ibiki to be questioned, and tell him to be gentle. I just want to have their life before here documented. And then get someone to spar with them, again, gently. We need to see in they really have the Hyoton bloodline. Tell Ibiki that they're new members of the village, not prisoners. Got it?"

Sakura's emerald eyes had widened at the mention of Hyoton, and she nodded rapidly. "Understood. I'll over see everything myself." She turned to Hikari, Keita, and Shota. "Come with me."

They nodded and followed her out of the room, but not before Hikari threw her arms around Naruto in a grateful hug. "Thank you!"

Naruto merely grinned in reply and motioned for her to follow Sakura.

Right before the door shut, Sakura paused, looked at Naruto, and said, "I'm glad you're back," and then the door swung silently shut.

Shikamaru stared at the wooden door for a moment. Okay, so perhaps Sakura wasn't as much of a banshee as he had thought. She cared about Naruto at least a little.

He moved to get up, but Tsunade's voice stopped him. "There's one more thing that we need to discuss. At the end of Takeshi's letter, he offered a proposition…"

"About what?" Naruto inquired curiously, sliding into the seat next to Shikamaru.

"It would form a solid alliance between our two villages."

"That's great!"

Shikamaru, on the other hand, narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the Hokage. She was beating around the bush about something. And the look on her face. She looked…troubled?

Naruto leaned forward impatiently. "Well, what is it? What are the terms?"

"It's not quite like that. Takeshi says that he is all in favor of uniting our villages, but he suggests that we go a step further to cement the bond…"

Shikamaru tensed. Something was most definitely wrong. "What is it?" he asked finally. His voice seemed to snap the Hokage out of her silence.

She poured herself some sake, sighed, and then said, "Takeshi suggests a marriage between his only daughter, Kotone, and Naruto."

A thick curtain of silence fell upon the room, and then Naruto shattered it. She jumped out of her seat, and shouted loudly, "No way!"

Tsunade carefully avoided looking at Naruto.

Shikamaru's mind was doing loops, trying to make sense of what was happening. A marriage? Between Kotone and Naruto? That was preposterous. Kotone was in love with Hisako, and vice a versa. Surely Takeshi knew that? On the other hand, what was it that Mrs. Fugiwara had said?

Her rather brittle voice floated back to him. Masago is in love with him, and everyone seems to know it except him. Isn't that just like a man?

If he didn't notice that Masago was in love with him, then it might be that he hadn't noticed the romance between his daughter and Hisako. And even if he had, he might not have liked the match.

There was no way to know. And, now that he thought about it, it wasn't a completely horrible idea. It would firmly cement the two villages together, and he seemed to like Naruto. When he remembered the Naruto was actually a guy, the idea must have popped into Takeshi's head. And if he knew that Naruto was the container for the Kyuubi no kitsune, if he wasn't one of those judgmental paranoid demon-haters, then that would be an added bonus, even if Naruto would never turn against Konoha.

There was just one little problem with the whole plan, besides the fact that Kotone was in love with someone else. One little fact that very few people knew. Naruto was a girl.

He had zoned out of the conversation, and when he started paying attention again, he saw Tsunade yelling at Naruto.

"I didn't accept the offer, Brat! So, don't start yelling at me. But, I am obligated to tell the council about this, and once they hear about it…" She shook her head, blonde hair swishing. "Naruto… They could force you to accept the offer."

"I will not marry Kotone," Naruto said firmly and in a serious voice rarely associated with the jinchuuriki.

"Just think about it a little. I know that you're still in love with Sakura, but you like Kotone, don't you?" Tsunade seemed to hate to even say the words.

Shikamaru understood. She didn't even want to be asking Naruto to consider the idea, but this was reality, and reality often was troublesome. If she could gain a potentially powerful ally, it would mean that her people would be that much safer, and if the council was going to try strong-arm tactics on Naruto anyways…

"It doesn't matter if I liked Kotone or not," Naruto retorted, blue eyes narrowing, "She's in love with someone else. And I'm not in love with Sakura!"

Tsunade blinked. "You're not?"

"No!"

Some small part of Shikamaru did a little happy dance at hearing the words from Naruto's lips. He studiously ignored it, or tried to.

"You can't be certain that Kotone doesn't have any feelings for you or wouldn't agree to this match. Why can't you at least think about it?" Tsunade asked.

"I just can't!" said Naruto, clearly flustered.

"Why?" Tsunade pressed.

"Because I'm a girl!" Naruto blurted out, and then quickly clapped her hands over her mouth.

For all of Shikamaru's massive brainpower, he hadn't expected that. When he said that she'd have to tell someone eventually, he hadn't expected it would happen this soon.

Tsunade was staring at Naruto as if she couldn't quite believe that she'd heard. "Excuse me?" she said finally, after several moments of tense and shocked silence.

"I…" Naruto stopped and glanced back at Shikamaru.

He stood up and stood at her side. For some incredibly odd reason that he couldn't fathom, she seemed to draw comfort from his nearness.

She cleared her throat and tried again. "I'm a girl." The three simple words rang out in the silent room.

Tsunade still looked confused, and Shikamaru couldn't blame her. "You're… a girl?" she repeated dumbly.

"Yes."

Shikamaru stayed silent and watched the exchange between the two blondes.

"Naruto… I know you've been in a girl henge for the past-"

"That wasn't a henge," Naruto interrupted. "This, how I look right now, is a henge."

Tsunade took a fortifying gulp of sake, which seemed to steady her somewhat. "Really?"

"Yes. Look, Baa-chan… I know this sounds unbelievable, but it's true, okay?" With a puff of smoke, the male Naruto vanished, and the female, the true, Naruto appeared, wearing the same black shinobi pants and orange shirt, both of which were now far too big and hug loosely on her petite frame.

She took a deep breath, and then started to talk. She talked about the Kyuubi, about how she used to be a he, about the reasons for keeping it a secret, and about everything else connected to it. When she finished, she let out a sigh, an almost happy sigh, and Shikamaru knew she was relieved at having finally been able to get it off her chest to Tsunade.

Tsunade, on the other hand, seemed to be having a seizure. Her right eye was twitching, and she was groping for her sake bottle blindly. Finally, she said, voice unexpectedly soft, "You're serious, aren't you? This isn't one of your practical jokes."

Naruto shook her head. "No. It's the truth. Just ask Shikamaru. He knows."

The Hokage's brown eyes bored into him.

Great. Way to put the attention, and possibly wrath, of an easily angered woman who could easily make his life hell, on him.

"And how exactly do you know?" Her voice promised lots and lots of pain.

He chose his words carefully. "When you sent me to go get Naruto, before the mission, I ran into her… unhenged, so to speak. She explained everything to me, and I decided that it was her secret to tell, and I wouldn't betray her by telling everyone."

Amazingly, Tsunade seemed to approve. "Okay… So, Naruto, you're a girl. Just to get that absolutely straight."

"Yes, Baa-chan," Naruto said in a soft, lilting voice, and then grinned in a classic Naruto grin. "Do you want me to show you?" she asked, gripping the edge of her shirt.

Shikamaru's eyes widened, and suddenly he felt quite a few degrees hotter under the collar.

Tsunade glared at her. "No, that won't be necessary."

Shikamaru was torn between disappointment and relief. Who knows what his reaction actually would have been if she had taken her shirt off? Since it was pretty clear that she wasn't wearing a bra.

The Hokage glanced back and forth between Naruto and Shikamaru. "Are you two by any chance…?" Her voice drifted off into questioning silence.

Naruto tilted her head to the side. "Are we what?"

Was she really that clueless? Shikamaru considered who he was thinking about. Yes, it was possible. He took pity on the Hokage, who seemed to be actually uncomfortable, and said in an emotionless voice as he could manage, "No, Lady Tsunade, we aren't in a romantic relationship." Yet, his traitorous mind added.

She nodded, tried to pour some sake, and then glared at the bottle when it turned out to be empty. She rested her head on the desk with a thump, and groaned, "Great. How am I supposed to explain this to Takeshi?"

Naruto actually had the nerve to giggle, which got an empty sake bottle thrown at her.

Shikamaru leaned back with a sigh and watched the Hokage chase Naruto around the room bellowing death threats.

How had this happened again? Oh, right. Naruto. How very troublesome.

Naruto hopped over the desk to avoid a punch by an irate Tsunade and winked a Shikamaru, grinning broadly.

Yes, definitely troublesome, but not bad. Not bad at all.

* * *

Hello, hello, hello! Time for a new chapter, apparently. And they're back in Konoha! Finally, and someone found out... Well, more like Naruto blurted it out, but still. And I promise that more people are going to find out, too. You'll just have to keep reading to find out their reactions. Right... Ummm... Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the chapter, and, as usual... sorry it took so long to get the chapter up. Oh, and one more thing... I made it past three hundred reviews! Who would have thought that was possible? And it's all thanks to you guys. Thank you, and a special shout out to Eternal Cat Moon for being the 300th reviewer.

Ja ne,

_Rumer Hasit_

* * *

**xbamsod:** Ah, I hoped you would like how people responded to seeing Naruto as a guy. I especially liked writing Yukio and Nagisa's reactions to it. And I just thought, in regards to Naruto taking the three with her, that it would be the sort of thing that she would do, you know?

**pay backs a bitch sucker:** You love this story? I can't tell you how nice it is to hear that. And, as for your questions... Yes, I think Naruto and Shikamaru are going to spend time together, and Kakashi-sensei will find out about her real gender fairly soon. And, yes, of course Sasuke is going to find out, too. You just have to keep reading to find out exactly how it unfolds, though.

**Dezzal:** Thank you. It's good to be back and writing again. I hope you enjoy it.

**Sillvog:** Muhahahaha! I'm evil that way. Nope, Shikamaru hasn't had the right opportunity to put the moves on Naruto, but I'm sure he will. And it's just Shikamaru's luck that people would like Naruto as a guy, too, isn't it? As for Hinata being competition. I don't think so, but I do definitely have something planned between them... I think you'll find it amusing.

**VampiricBloOdyRose:** I'm really glad you liked people's reaction (especially our favorite perverts). I know what you mean about the only FemNaru story that really working being Naru/Shika. It really just... works. Don't get me wrong, I like most well-written FemNaru stories, but Shika/Naru really takes the cake. They just work well as a couple.

**kitsuneluvuh:** Wow. You guys really liked people's reactions to Naruto, don't you? And I'm glad you do. As for your suggestion for Sasuke walking in on Naruto... that might just work. I bet Shikamaru would get jealous, too.

**MegamiTenshiHime:** Glad you think so. I hope you liked this chapter and keep reading and reviewing.

**Immortal Sailor Cosmos:** Yes, I am back, and thank you for the welcome back. And the first step of outing her has started! Hope you enjoyed it.

**animeboylover:** I know. I just had to have Naruto take the three back to Konoha. It's something that's just completely Naruto. I mean, it wouldn't be in character if she didn't. Sigh... a lot of people are asking for some Shika/Naru action. A kiss? Well, I'll work on it, okay? I have like another chapter or two written at this point (I went on a writing spree), but I think I could write a kiss scene after that.

**Le Diosa:** That is the best sort of review that I can possibly get. I mean, all I want to do is make people laugh with this story, and if I managed to brighten up your... sh*ty day at all, then I've succeeded.

**Nero Strauss:** Yes, I have returned. *Cue the dramatic music* Sorry I kept you waiting. And Anko! I can't believe I forgot about her! I definitely need to put her in my chapters. Thank you for reminding me on that point. Oh, and I definitely need to bring in Tenten, too. I can just imagine it now... I think you've just inspired a certain chapter.

**meglepetes:** Yep, so many disappointed perverts. I mean, people. Well, perverts are people, right? I think they are at least... Nope. Naruto didn't go back to Konoha as a girl, but she just got discovered! Well, more like she blurted it out, but still. One more person knows the truth. And, yes, poor Shikamaru. He could have chosen to like so many other people... but he likes Naruto. Poor guy.

**ZAFO:** Glad you liked the reactions. And, yes, I promise that Kazuo and company will show up again. I don't think I could just forget about them. I wonder how Kakashi and Kazuo would get along...

**Dante Nastaran:** It's nice to know that you liked the reactions, and I really do need to write a chapter where Shikamaru gets farther with Naruto, don't I? I'll get on that. After all, after all of the stuff that Shikamaru's been through, he deserves a least a little loving, right? And I like Shikamaru jealous, too. It really does make him human.

**Shimigami's-Neko-Gaki:** Ah! You're right! I should have had someone comment on Naruto and Shikamaru of being together when they thought they were both guys. An opportunity missed... Anyway, glad you like the everyone's reactions.

**Mystia Katsuragi:** Well, it's nice that you think my OCs are realistic enough. So, thank you for that. And as for it being Hisoka or Hisako, it's Hisoka... I think. I really need to get that straight. And I'm glad you enjoyed the villager's reactions to Naruto being a guy. It was fun to write.

**SharinganUserZ:** Sorry the the update wasn't really quick... at all, but I hope you keep reading and enjoy this chapter now that I've got it posted up. Oh, and thanks for the review.

**aerinkudo:** Well, you were right. It was high time that at least Tsunade found out about Naruto's real gender. So, thank you for that idea, and I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter.

**Danielle mary-song harkness:** Ah! The best Naru fanfiction you've read so far? Thank you so much! What a complement. And I got all four check marks! Wow. Thank you. It's great to know that you like the story so much that you'd do that.

**Anie6142:** Yes, Kazuo did indeed suffer. He really is pervert, but even I'm not sure he deserved to suffer that much. I mean, he thinks his perfect woman is... a man. Yep. That's got to put a dent in his day. And, yes, I think Hikari will find out about Naruto's real gender.

**9tailedokami16x:** I have... death's vote of awesome? Well, that sounds pretty cool. And my story is one of your favorites? That makes it even better.

**Nikkii-Love706:** Well, I apologize that I didn't update sooner, but I do hope you liked this chapter. And, in answer to your questions... There will be more romantic development between them in a bit. Naruto just dropped the henge. No. And I'm happy that you love the story.

**GILLIGFAN:** Wow... What a wonderful review. I mean, really. I'm grinning like an idiot right now. I don't really know what to say except that... It gives me great pleasure to know that you like my story that much and that you think that much of it and my writing skill. And thank you for putting it on your alerts and favorites, and thank you for reviewing, really. I mean... Thanks.

**Eternal Cat Moon:** Ummm... What do you mean by Sasuke leaving with them? He was just supposed to take them to the Yugakure and then go back. So, Shikamaru and Naruto are just traveling back to Konoha with Hikari, Shota, and Keita. But, Sasuke will show up again in the next chapter. And as for a love triangle... maybe... maybe not.

**NatalieNamikaze2006:** Yes! I've converted you into a FemNaru/Shika fan! Success is mine. And you love it? Wonderful! That's great to know. I hope you loved this chapter just as much.

**Q3APo:** I make the story interesting? Well, thank you, thank you very much. I do try. And as for the story making you smile... That's perfect, and all I'm trying to do with this story. So, thank you for letting me know. And, yes, poor Shikamaru. He really needs to put the moves on Naruto soon, huh?


	20. The Troublesome Truth

**!*!*! ATTENTION ... POZORNOSTI ... ПАЖЊА !*!*!**

**Disclaimer: **Is Orochimaru a very creepy shinobi zombie-vampire hybrid with a penchant for young males? Yes... Is that extremely creepy? Absolutely. That's how you know he's not my character. If he was, he would have been able to shoot fire out of his eyes... Or something. What was I saying? Oh, yes. Enjoy the chapter!******  
**

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"Are you sure you want to do this, Naruto? I don't have to inform anyone about your real gender. It hasn't been an issue on missions or anything relating to your duty as a shinobi before," Tsunade said gently, looking at her goddaughter with something like worry in her eyes.

Naruto, who was sitting, clasped hands betraying her nervousness, shook her head, pigtails flying. "No. I'm going to do this. I'm tired of lying. Anyway, I think a lot of the… issues that I was afraid of happening if I was known as a girl are gone. I can take care of myself and protect myself now. Besides…" She grinned. "Kyuu-chan said that I could probably get treated to a lot of ramen from guys looking like this."

Tsunade spat out a mouthful of sake, the spray narrowly missing Shikamaru.

He scowled faintly. Other guys taking Naruto out for ramen? He didn't like that idea at all, and he was man enough to admit it… to himself. Still, he could see how the idea would appeal to her.

She fidgeted again, and he shifted his eyes to her. She was wearing an orange tank top with a flak vest over it and a pair of baggy black pants with orange stripes up the sides. She wasn't covering her whisker marks up with make-up anymore, either. She looked… beautiful. He shook his head. The hormones were making his brain mushy and completely unfocused.

She glanced up at him and gave him a softer version of her patented Naruto-grin.

He could help but feel the smile was just for him. Oh, Kami… What was he thinking? He needed to spend some time alone watching clouds and chain-smoking cigarettes. That might cure him. How pesky. With his luck and current frame of mind, he'd see Naruto in the clouds.

Someone knocked on the door, and Tsunade called, "Come in," in a much more somber voice than she usually did.

People piled into the room. Sasuke and Sakura at the forefront, and then Hinata, Lee, Kiba, Kakashi, and Shino, who Naruto was apparently a lot closer to than he had known. These were the people who Naruto had chosen to come out to as a girl in person. After that, the village gossip would probably take care of the rest. It seemed like sort of an odd group of people, but it was her choice.

Kiba was the first one to speak. "Naruto? Why are you still in the henge?" And he'd, unwittingly, hit the proverbial nail right on the head.

Tsunade cleared her throat. "That's actually what we're here to discuss today. Please, everyone take a seat."

There was a rustle of fabric and the sighs of furniture, and then everyone looked expectantly at the hokage.

"Naruto has something to say to you all."

Everyone's gaze transferred to Naruto, and she swallowed nervously before bursting out, "I'm a girl."

This time, Sasuke was the first to speak with an intelligent, "What was that, Dobe?"

"I'm not a dobe, you Teme!" she shouted, and then collected herself. "I said… I'm a girl." Saying it again didn't seem to make anyone understand it any better. Complete confusion showed on their faces. Shikamaru almost laughed as Naruto practically growled in annoyance. "Okay, I'm only going to say this once more. Listen closely. I. Am. A. Girl. I have been wearing a henge for years and years. Do you all understand now?"

"How?" was the only word uttered by the crowd; Shikamaru wasn't sure, but he thought the low voice came from Shino.

With a sigh, Naruto told them everything, or almost everything, that she'd told Shikamaru, although he noticed that she glossed over the finer details quite a bit. When she finished, she took a deep breath and waited.

Surprisingly, Hinata was the first to speak. "No… freaking… way."

Shikamaru's eyes widened. His ninja senses were telling him that something completely unexpected, and maybe mind-boggling, was about to happen.

Hinata was staring at Naruto, pale eyes wide. "You're a girl?" It was probably the loudest he'd ever heard her speak.

"Er…Yes?" Naruto said, looking at her unsurely.

"But… I've liked you for years! And you're a girl."

"Well, I think I was still a guy when you first started liking me…"

Hinata didn't even seem to hear her. Suddenly, she stepped forward and got a determined look on her face. "You know what? I don't care. I'm going to do something I've wanted to do for years and get it out of my system."

What "it" exactly was, was unveiled a moment later as Hinata crossed the distance between her and Naruto, grabbed her shoulders, and kissed her full on the mouth. Sky blue eyes widened, and then fluttered shut.

Shikamaru stared, and then stared some more. His mind seemed to have gone curiously blank, a once in a lifetime occurrence.

Kiba had a massive nosebleed but didn't move his eyes away from the two kissing women.

Shino had keeled over backwards, but whether that was from the knowledge that Naruto was a girl or the kissing was unclear.

Sakura was gaping.

Sasuke's face was the color of a tomato, and Kakashi seemed to be using the Sharingan to permanently remember the image before him.

Tsunade took a fortifying gulp of sake, but seemed to be blushing.

Finally, Hinata ended the, rather passionate, kiss, leaving both girls pink cheeked and panting slightly.

Lee gave a bright smile, showing frighteningly white teeth, struck a pose, and yelled enthusiastically, "It is the power of youth! What a wonderful and youthful young lady our Naruto has become, and Hinata has decided to share in the beautiful moment of-"

Shikamaru tuned him out, knowing it would most likely go on for a few more minutes and give him a headache if he paid attention.

Hinata gave a satisfied nod. "There. I always wanted to do that. Sorry for the suddenness, Naruto-kun. I mean, Naruto-chan."

Naruto seemed dazed. "Anytime."

Shikamaru shook his head. For some reason, he didn't feel jealous at all. His body, on the other hand, was having some completely natural reactions that he would rather didn't happen in public. He focused on Hinata. How very unexpected. It only showed that it was the quiet ones that you had to watch out for.

Hinata seemed to be reverting back into her shy self again, and pressed her fingers together, stepping away from Naruto. Could things get any weirder?

Kakashi stepped forward and grabbed Naruto's breasts. She gave a shriek and slapped him before he could escape to the other side of the room. He gave a hidden smile and a thumbs up, "They're real." The edge of a red hand print showed above his mask.

Okay, getting groped by an old sensei. Apparently, things could get weirder, or at least more perverted.

Kiba, who just seemed to be getting over Hinata kissing Naruto enough that he could function again, asked, "Naruto? So, you're a girl? As in entirely a girl? No… guy parts or anything?"

Of course he would phrase it like that.

Naruto didn't seem too bothered by the question. "Nope. I'm completely a girl. Just like Hinata and Sakura."

"Awesome."

Shikamaru would have rolled his eyes if it hadn't of been too much work. Well, Kiba was all for Naruto being a girl. Duh. Of course he's going to be in favor of having another hot female ninja around the village.

Shino, who had passed out and been revived by a Sakura who was mostly working on autopilot, stared at Naruto, or at least it looked like he stared. It was rather hard to tell because of the glasses. Finally, he said, "I thought so."

Then why exactly did you passed out? Seemed to be the unasked question.

"My kikaichū thought that Naruto was a female, and when I informed them, they're excitement overpowered me for a moment."

Right… Well, he didn't seem to be bothered by Naruto's not so sudden gender swap, either.

Lee, finally done spouting things about youth, ran over to Naruto and grabbed her hand. "What a beautiful and youthful maiden you have become, Naruto-chan! Allow me, Rock Lee, to take you out on a date."

Something in Shikamaru snapped, and he was about to have his shadows do some very painful things to the green-spandexed boy, when Naruto took care of it. "Lee, if you even think about trying to go out with me, I will burn each and every one of your suits and shave your head." Realizing that she might have been too harsh, she added, "But thanks for the offer. Now, let go of my hand."

Lee struck another pose which made Shikamaru's eyes ache. "I will take that as a no for now! I will not give up! Yosh!"

Oh, for the love of…

Hinata, who was definitely back to her timid self, asked quietly, "Shikamaru, what do you think of Naruto being a girl? You haven't said anything…"

Naruto answered for him, wrapping an arm around him in a sort of half-hug. "Shika already knows! He was the first person to find out. He's cool with it, right, Shika?"

He nodded, almost enjoying the look of shock and homicidal intent that flashed across the Uchiha's face when Naruto had hugged him. "Yeah… It's still the same troublesome Naruto," he said, shrugging lazily.

Tsunade finally intervened. "Okay, okay. Naruto wanted you guys to be the first to know, so now you know. Now, don't you all have things to do?" she asked in a tone that suggested that they better clear out of her office.

There was a chorus of half-hearted agreements.

Kiba raised his hand. "Is this a secret or are we allowed to tell people?"

"You can tell whoever, I didn't want you guys to find out second hand," Naruto said.

The people filed out of the room, although not before Kakashi patted Naruto's rather shapely rear, making her scream "Hentai!" accusingly.

Tsunade shooed them all out of her office, and most of them scattered, most likely talking about Naruto's new-found gender.

Sasuke didn't leave. He grabbed Naruto's arm and dragged her a little bit away down the hallway.

Shikamaru started to leave, and then paused. He could hear what they were saying. To listen or not to listen? Technically, it was frowned upon to listen in on other people's conversation, but… he wanted to know.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Sasuke asked in an accusing, and slightly hurt, voice.

"I was going to!" Naruto said, annoyed. "But then you went off with Orochimaru! You were the first person that I was going to tell, Teme!"

There was silence, and Shikamaru could almost imagine the expressions on their faces. Suddenly, he felt like he was intruding on something private and slouched away down the hallway in the opposite direction.

If Naruto wanted to talk to him, she could find him. Anyway, who said that she would want to? Now he wasn't the only person who new the truth. Would she still want to hang out with him? He felt like smacking his head on the wall. He was getting far too sappy. But, still what if-

"Shika, wait up!" Naruto's voice yelled, intruding forcibly on his thoughts.

He paused and looked at her, raising one eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"Why didn't you wait up?"

"You were talking to the Uchiha. I thought you could use some privacy." Well, that's the half-truth.

"Oh, well. He's off being a bastard and sulking right now. He'll get over it in a little. He's just annoyed that he wasn't the first person to know. And then he got mad when I said that I didn't plan to run into you when I came out of the shower, and just completely freaked out and stomped off."

Shikamaru groaned. The Uchiha was probably planning his death in excruciating detail at that very moment, and Naruto had no idea at the trouble she had just caused. Sasuke probably thought that he'd seen her naked. He hadn't! Well, if the towel had slipped a little lower… he shook his head, firmly banishing the thought. He did not need to think about that.

He looked up as they excited the building and paused.

Sakura was sitting on the steps, staring out into space with a lost expression on her face.

Even without being a genius, he could figure out why. There were three cornerstones to her life. One, she was smart. Two, her loved her Sasuke-kun, and, three, Naruto loved her. Finding out that Naruto was a girl was probably like suddenly telling her that the sky was orange. It completely tore apart her world, and he had the feeling that that wasn't an understatement.

Naruto stopped next to him, staring at Sakura with an almost guilty expression on her pretty face. "Hey, Shika? I need to talk to Sakura. Will you wait here for a second?"

He nodded silently, and watched as she walked over to Sakura. And, for the second time that day, he was privy to a conversation that probably wasn't meant for his ears.

"Sakura?" Naruto asked softly.

The pinkette looked up, startled. "Oh… Naruto…"

"Can I sit here?" Naruto asked again, in that same soft voice, like she was afraid of scaring off a wild animal.

Sakura nodded rather jerkily, and then they sat in a silence that seemed to stretch on and on. Sakura was the one to break it. "So… all these years… it wasn't true? You weren't in love with me. I suppose it was just to keep your cover." She sounded like she was desperately trying not to fall apart.

"Sakura… Listen. I… I'm not in love with you, not in the romantic sense. But, I wanted more than anything to be your friend. And I still want that. I always thought you were cool and smart and pretty. I did sort of exaggerate my love for you to make people think I was in love with you…"

Sakura's face crumpled slightly, and Naruto seemed to panic.

"No! Don't look like that! I still like you, okay? And even if I don't like you in that way, Lee does! I'm pretty sure that he asked me out in there to try and make you jealous. He's been in love with you forever, and he still is! Look, I know that you're in love with the teme, but you should give Lee a chance. If you look past the spandex and eyebrows, he's a really nice guy. Not that I'm trying to tell you what to do or anything like that! I mean… I just thought that. Okay, what I'm trying to say is that-"

Sakura cut of Naruto's panicked ramblings with a fragile little laugh. "It's okay, Naruto… I get it. Stop freaking out, Baka." She let out a sigh and then straightened her shoulders and repeated, "I get it." She turned to Naruto, who flinched, probably expecting a punch, and instead got a hug.

Naruto stiffened and shot Shikamaru a panicked look. "Sakura… what are you doing?"

"I'm hugging you, Baka."

After another moment, Naruto relaxed into the hug, wrapping thin, tanned limbs around Sakura. Finally, they parted, Naruto slightly pink-cheeked and confused looking, and Sakura looking rather calm.

"I'm fine, Naruto. It's just a bit of a shock, you know? I mean, I thought I knew you, but I really didn't even take the time to."

Naruto hesitated, and then said, "Sakura, I'd still like to be friends, I mean really good friends. If you want to, could we go out sometime? Not on a date or anything, but shopping maybe? Or whatever girls do?"

Sakura looked flattered and then scandalized as Naruto's babbling went on. "Oh, Naruto… I see that I'm going to need to teach you what being a girl is all about."

Naruto looked horror stricken, and not without cause. The look on Sakura's face would have worried the most hardened shinobi. "So, that's a yes?" Naruto hazarded, looking like she now wished it wasn't.

"That's most definitely a yes. Now, shoo. I need to think about some things," Sakura said with a small smile.

Naruto nodded unsurely and got up. Then, on impulse bent down and kissed Sakura softly on the cheek before running off grinning. "Bye, Sakura-chan!"

"Baka," Sakura said, almost fondly.

Shikamaru pushed himself up off of the ground, since it had been too tiresome to stand there the whole time, as Naruto ran back over to him.

"Alright. Now we can go! Do you want to go get some ramen?" she asked, looking at him with big, hopeful, sky blue eyes.

He shrugged, knowing what she wanted to hear and not minding saying it. "Sure."

"Yes!" she yelled, punching the air.

Only Naruto could get so excited over Ramen.

They turned in the direction of the ramen stand, but a yell stopped them in their tracks. "Shikamaru! Naruto!"

Shikamaru shivered. That voice was far too familiar, and he knew troublesome things were about to occur, most likely with him getting pulled in. He turned around slowly and faced the terrifying person that was… a very pregnant Ino.

Ino, her pale blond hair long again and pulled up in a high ponytail, wearing a loose purple maternity top, was waving to them. "Shikamaru, Naruto! Come over here! Don't make a pregnant girl walk more than she has to!" she yelled.

How did she know that the very pretty blonde standing next to him was Naruto? How had the news traveled so fast? He knew how. Even though it had only been a few minutes, and Ino's house was across town, one should never underestimate gossip, especially when it was being spread by ninjas.

Naruto was staring at Ino with a slightly frightened expression on her face. "Shikamaru?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do I have the feeling that something's going to happen? Kyuu-chan is telling me to go over to Ino, which usually means that she thinks that something amusing for her to watch through me, and horrifying for me, is going to happen."

"Well, she's probably right. But you can't really escape Ino once she sets her mind on something. Even when she's pregnant." He sighed, suddenly wishing for a cigarette. "Come on. We might as well go see what she wants. She's not going to give up."

And so, dragging their feet and wary, they walked over to Ino. Shikamaru eyed her. She had that gleam in her eye that never boded well for anyone. He sighed. So troublesome.

* * *

Hello, all. I am back! And by back, I mean I'm back with another chapter that alternately tests Shikamaru's sanity and has random perverted acts occur. Nice, right? And some of our favorite people made a reappearance. Plus, Hinata got her *insert corny porn riff here* on. Someone told me that it was the quiet ones that you had to watch out for, and I'm pretty sure they were right. So, what did you all think? Plus, Ino made her first appearance! You just know something potentially disturbing is going to happen. Anyway, I hope you all like it.

Ja ne,

_Rumer Hasit_

* * *

**xbamsod:** Complicated? Yes, everything is going to get a bit more complicated now, I would say. When everyone in Konoha thought that Naruto was a guy, there weren't that many competing for her affection, but now... Poor Shikamaru. And you have no idea how happy it made me when you wrote that the chapter made your crappy day better. That's really all I'm trying to do, make people laugh and make crappy days better, I suppose.

**TheBlackSeaReaper:** You looooooooove it? Well, that's nice to know. And, yes, she spilled the beans. And I'm sorry that it took so long to get this chapter up, but I do hope that you enjoy it. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing.

**harlequin320:** You like the last chapter? Good. Glad to hear (read?) it. Wow. You did have a lot of questions. Well, I'll answer them as best I can. I'm not really sure if Tsunade will have to bring up the subject of Naruto's gender to the council now that... it seems like everyone now knows. And same to the second question, although, I have the feeling that Naruto's gender being female won't stop the council from trying to cement a marriage to another village. And... stuff... A lot of stuff is going to happen. You just have to keep reading to find out.

**OrangeLamb:** Thanks. I'm glad you like the story. And it's nice to see another Shika/Naru fan. Seriously, there aren't enough of us... Moving on. YOu wondered when people would find out that there was more to Naruto than means the eye? Well... Tada.

**VampiricBloOdyRose:** You said that you loved reading the reactions... Well. There were a whole lot of reactions in this chapter. What did you think? Personally, I loved Hinata's reaction, but that might be because I'm a slight pervert. Anyway, I do hope you enjoyed the chapter.

**the . stories . live . on:** Ah, yes. Well, I do apologize for the long wait in between updates. I've been helping my brother with his college work... even though I'm more than two years younger than him, and the weeks seem to fly by. But, it makes me extremely happy that you find my story so interesting. I'm afraid your review has left me with a very large grin on my face. Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. Thank you for reviewing!

**MegamiTenshiHime:** Yes! Tsunade knows! And now a whole bunch of other people know as well. You know only one thing is going to come from this. Chaos! Muahahhahha... I mean... Please continue reading?

**GILLIGFAN:** Well, thank you for saying that I did an excellent job... and sorry for not including interrogation bits from Ibiki. I had most of the chapter written before I even saw your review. But as for your idea about having Tsunade do an exam... You know, the council might just insist on that, mightn't they? I can see so many things going wrong with that... Well. Thank you for that idea. It's alright if I implement what you said, right?

**BlackButterfly1993:** Wow. You actually squeal in delight when you see a chapter come up? That's a very high complement. And I love the Shika/Naru pairing, too. Not enough people do, but Shikamaru and Naruto just work really well together, don't they? Oh, and thank you for putting my story on your alert, and I'm glad you love the story.

**Nogs28:** Yes, the secret is out... in this chapter even more than in the last one. Ah, I hope you enjoyed the chapter.

**Anie6142:** The chapter made your day? You have no idea how nice that is to say. And as for what you thought was going to happen next... Did you expect anything like this chapter at all? And, yes, I will keep going and writing this story as long as you enjoy it.

**yvonna:** You love it? Can't wait for more? Well, I am glad that you love it, and I'm sorry that you had to wait for so long for another chapter. But, I do hope you enjoy it. And, yes, you were right. Naruto did tell people about her secret like you thought.

**Mystia Katsuragi:** Yeah... There's just something wrong with me. I can't get his darn name straight! Maybe it is a good idea just to call him Hi-kun. Just to avoid further confusion. And now even more people know about Naruto's gender! I must say, they took it pretty well, didn't they? Still... I just know something is going to go wrong. How do I know this? Because I'm the one writing it, obviously.

**animeboylover:** You're into drawing anime? Cool? Do you have any up online that I could take a look at? I draw from time to time, too, but I think I should probably stick to writing. I'm far better at it. And, as you were wondering how all the others would find out... now you know. I hope you liked it.

**erison:** I have to say... I felt my soul slowly sinking into the floor when I read that you hated and abhorred female Naruto, and then I read the next line that you wrote, and I let out a huge sigh of relief and grinned like an idiot. I'm so glad that you like it! Phew. How odd. You really like it? Brilliant.

**Quadrillionaire:** You're not that into Naruto fanfictions? Gasp! No, I write one and I actually agree with you. A lot of them are quite... Yes. Moving on. And as for straight female having less than pleasant feelings about blonde-haired, blue-eyed, big boobed women... I sort of can see what you mean. I prefer brunettes, though. About the alternate universe in which I would write a Sasuke and female Naruto mutant love triangle. I have to say, I never thought about it, but if I ever think up a plot for it, I'll post it and you can tell me what you think. Oh, and I rather agree with your list for Top-5 List-For-Fictional-Characters-That-Should-Be-Drop-Kicked-In-The-Balls... although that does seem a little harsh. I'm a guy and it's making me wince...

**Mariko666:** Cute? Cute? Yes, I suppose the story is. I'm not very good at doing action stories, but I seem to be able to write fluff, and I am glad that you enjoy it. And, as for Naruto being so clueless... let's just say that Naruto isn't quite as clueless as she lets on. I mean, she still is pretty clueless, but... Oh, I can't explain it. You'll see.

**betafish123:** Ah, thank you very much. And I will most definitely keep up the good work as you so nicely put it.

**Evalyd Yamazaki:** Thank you. It's extremely nice to know that you love my story and think it's great. I must say that it makes me smile to read that. And I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for reading my story and spending the time to leave me a review. I appreciate it.


	21. Bothersome Broads

**!*!*! ATTENTION ... UPPMÄRKSAMHET ... கவனம் !*!*!**

**Disclaimer: **Naruto belongs solely to Masashi Kishimoto. All profits from Naruto belong to him as well. This fanfiction is mine, though, in all of its twisted and perverted glory. So, enjoy.

* * *

As soon as they got close enough to Ino, she put her hand out and said to Naruto, "Don't move."

Naruto blinked in confusion, but stood stock still while Ino walked around her slowly, nodding and muttering to herself.

Shikamaru didn't even bother to ask what she was doing. He'd find out and probably wish he hadn't.

After a full minute of staring at Naruto, Ino finally asked suddenly, "Naruto, what cup size are you?"

Well, that wasn't quite what he had been expecting her to ask, but he'd long since given up on trying to figure Ino out. Or most females for that matter.

Naruto scratched her head nervously and said, "Um… my what?"

"Your cup size. You know. What size bra do you wear?"

"I don't."

"You don't what?"

"I don't wear a bra."

Shikamaru's eyes widened, and he was pretty sure that his mind was recording this conversation. Ino seemed to be mildly speechless, which Shikamaru was sure had only happened three times before.

Naruto nodded. "Yeah. See?" Naruto grabbed the edge of her shirt and pulled it up, showing her toned stomach and her chest.

Shikamaru stared, and then his brain processed what he was seeing. White cloth bandages had been wrapped around her rather abundant chest, barely covering them. He was pretty sure he was drooling at all of the smooth, tanned skin on display. And he was actually a little relieved that she hadn't been naked under the shirt, like he'd thought. He wasn't sure that he wanted to pass out in the middle of the street from a huge nosebleed. That, and the fact that Ino would never let him forget it if he did.

After Naruto had replaced her shirt, Ino shook her head and placed a hand on the blonde's shoulder. "Naruto, Naruto, Naruto…"

"Yes?" Naruto's voice was filled with trepidation.

"You need help, don't you?"

Naruto glanced quickly at Shikamaru. "Help? No, I don't think-"

"Oh, yes you do," Ino interrupted. "I now totally believe what I heard is true. I couldn't believe it at first when Kiba told me that you were a girl! But you are, aren't you? So, you obviously need someone to show you the ways of being a woman. You need someone to guide you and help you." As she continued talking, she seemed to get a maniacal glint in her eyes.

Shikamaru had rarely seen Naruto afraid. She was one of the bravest people he knew, but she was definitely cowering before the pregnant woman.

"Ino, that's really not necessary," Naruto said. "I'm fine, really. I'm still the same person, after all. There's nothing that I really need to change or do, right?"

Shikamaru's watched as Ino's eyes widened and prepared himself for the rant that he knew was coming. "Are you joking? Of course you need to change! You're a girl! Hello? You don't even wear a bra! Do you even own make up?"

"No…"

Then, Ino's mood did a one-eighty. Her lower lip started to tremble and pale blue eyes became misty with tears. "Or… do you just not want to go shopping with me because you don't like me? I know I was mean to you when we were younger, but I thought we were friends now… And… and…" Her voice trailed off into loud, rather violent, sniffles.

Shikamaru shook his head inwardly. The emotions of pregnant woman were not known to be stable. And, on top of that, it was Ino, who didn't have the most even moods to start with. It was a recipe for disaster, which was why Shikamaru had spent the majority of his time since she had gotten pregnant avoiding her. If he had to help her repaint the baby's room one more time… It would be for the eighth time, and even cigarettes probably wouldn't be enough to calm him down.

Naruto shot Shikamaru a helpless glance, and he said over the link, "_Just agree to do whatever she wants. It's the only way to make her stop crying, and she'll get her way in the end anyway. She always does… Troublesome woman._"

Naruto pouted at him, obviously not very grateful for the advice, and then turned to Ino, grimacing. "Ino. I didn't mean it like that. I'd be... very grateful if you showed me what to do and took me shopping." It sounded like she was in pain as she said it. "Sakura said that she's taking me shopping, so I suppose we could all do it together."

Shikamaru winced. That was not a good move. While Sakura and Ino were pretty troublesome and annoying apart, once they were together there was no stopping them. He actually felt sorry for Naruto and especially for what she was about to go through.

Ino stopped sniffing and jerked her head up to look at Naruto. "Really?" She was all grins, flowers, and rainbows now. "Great! We can start right now."

Naruto's eyes widened, as if she'd just been informed that all of the ramen in the village had been incinerated. "What? Now?"

Ino grabbed Naruto's had in a vice-like grip, most likely so that she couldn't run away. "Yes, now. The sooner the better." She paused and then let go of Naruto's hand, clapping her own together. "Oh! I've got it! We should have a party!" Then, as Naruto tried to edge away, her hand shot out and grabbed Naruto's hand again.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "A party? For what?"

Ino rolled her eyes, and said, as if it was patently obvious, "To celebrate the fact that Naruto's a member of the better gender, of course."

Of course. How could he have missed that?

She continued, "We should gather everyone and have a party. Oh! Down by the water. And Choji could barbeque! I am really hungry… Yep! That's what's going to happen. And we should do it today!"

"Doesn't it usually take a few days to plan a party?" Shikamaru pointed out at the insistence of Naruto's eyes pleading for him to do something.

Ino narrowed her eyes at him, moods switching once again. "Shikamaru, stop being lazy! It's not like I'm asking you to do anything, after all. I swear… You can just lay down and watch the clouds, okay? After you do one thing for me, that is. I want you to go find Sakura and tell her to meet me at my house. Tell her that we're going to take Naruto shopping." The words had a certain ring of doom about them. "Now!" And with that, she turned around, still holding Naruto's hand, and started to drag the unwilling Kyuubi's container away.

"Shika! Please don't leave! They're going to kill me! Death by girliness! I just know it!"

He shook his head. "Sorry, Naruto. Just don't fight it. It'll make it worse." He watched, wincing slightly, as Ino dragged a wailing Naruto away. It was official. There was nothing scarier than a pregnant Ino. It even trumped an angry Tsunade, which was saying something. He felt a little bad about not being able to save Naruto, but he'd make it up to her later with several dozen bowls of ramen.

He turned around and slouched off in the opposite direction. Time to look for Sakura so that she could join Ino in torturing Naruto. Employing his rather plentiful and superior brain cells, he went straight to the spot where he assumed she would be. He was right.

She was sitting at her desk, books and files piled high on her desk, almost obscuring her from view. He'd noticed it was what she always did when something upset her. She turned to books and knowledge.

He clearly his throat quietly as he leaned on the door frame of the room.

Her pink-haired head rose with a jerk, and green eyes turned to him. "Shikamaru? What's up?"

"Ino wants you. She's planning a party for Naruto, although I'm pretty sure it's just an excuse to go shopping and eat. She ordered me to come and tell you to meet her at her house to take Naruto shopping." He shuddered slightly at the way her eyes lit up. Women… So frightening. Except Naruto, of course. While she was still troublesome, she was… worth it. Kami. He really was getting mushy.

The pinkette nodded and popped up from the desk. "Okay. That sounds like fun."

To her, but definitely not to Naruto.

She walked to the door, past him, and then paused and looked at him. "Shikamaru. Walk with me?"

He obliged, surprised. Why on earth would she want him to walk with her? It wasn't as if they were close friends… or that close at all, really.

They walked in silence for a moment before she asked out of the blue, "So, how long?"

And if that wasn't clear. "How long what?"

She glanced up at him almost slyly. "How long have you liked Naruto, of course."

"What?" He was ashamed to say that his voice cracked, but the question was rather abrupt. How did she know? Was it really that obvious or was it a girl thing? Like Kotone, girls just seemed to know these things.

She was talking again, eyes fixed intently on his face. "So? I mean, did you start liking Naruto before you knew that she was a girl, or was it afterwards? Did you two fall in love on the mission? How far have you gotten yet? Kissed?" She waggled her eyebrows.

His eyes widened. There was so much wrong with this conversation that he didn't even know what to say. Were all women secret perverts as well? Hinata certainly seemed to be.

She seemed to take information from his silence, nodding sagely. "Ah, so you haven't gotten that far yet. Have you even let him – er – her know how you feel yet? Because you're probably going to have to be pretty blunt about it. Naruto tends not to pick up on subtblenesss. In fact, I'm pretty sure she doesn't even know the meaning of the word. I imagine if you went up and kissed hi – her, she'd get the point though."

Finally, he found the ability to speak. Unfortunately, all he managed to say was, "What?"

Now, she seemed to be silently laughing at him.

He carefully brought his thoughts into order before he opened his mouth again. "Haruno… I'm not sure it's any of your business what exactly I've done with Naruto."

She flushed at the cold tone of his voice, and he instantly regretted it. It wasn't that he disliked her… much, and he'd seen that she cared about Naruto. It was that… Okay, he knew exactly what it was. There was still a little part of him, a teeny, tiny part that was jealous. For years he'd thought that Naruto was in love with Sakura and part of him was jealous. Plus, he was getting a little frustrated that he hadn't gotten anywhere really with Naruto. Her words hit way too close to his manly pride.

"Sorry," he muttered.

She shrugged. "It's understandable. You're in love with her, huh?"

In love with her? He hadn't even really admitted that to himself. "I think so…"

She sighed. "Well, you're lucky. I wish I'd noticed how Naruto really was years ago. Although, now that I really think about it, that wouldn't have worked because she was a girl… I wonder what she would have done if I had liked her back? Anyway, Shikamaru. I think you and Naruto would be good together. You two balance each other out well. Now…" she stopped and turned around to face him. "There's just one more thing. I'm right in saying that you're a genius, but not necessarily in dealing with girls, right?"

He opened his mouth to answer, but she held up her hand, cutting him off before he even began. "Don't answer that. I think we both already know the answer to that." He glared, and it only seemed to amuse her. "I want you to make a move on Naruto. Today. At the party. I don't care if you profess your undying love for her or just give her a kiss, but you need to do something. And, in return… I'll make sure Naruto wears something nice, okay?"

By now, he had resorted to simply staring at her. He was to do what now?

She was walking away now, giving him a quick little wave. "I know what I'm talking about, okay? Just think about it!"

He watched her trot away. What in the name of clouds and shogi had just happened? Hadn't Sakura been upset and almost on the point of crying just half an hour before? Or less? And now she was scheming on how to get him and Naruto together? Was this her way of coping with it, or was she just that over it already? He would never, ever understand women. Except Naruto. And she didn't really count since she spent the first dozen years of her life as a member of the male race. And why on earth did Sakura think he would care what Naruto wore to the party?

Sakura disappeared around the corner, and he shook his head one last time. Women…

Ten minutes later, he was lying on his back on a grassy hill, a lit cigarette in one hand, staring at the clouds. Now this was how he would like to spend the rest of his life. A fluffy white cloud drifted over the clear blue sky behind it, shape changing in the wind far above and merging with another. He exhaled, a stream of smoke leaving his lips, and his eyes drooped lazily. Hopefully, he could spend a while like this. He'd just come back from a very important mission, so Tsunade probably wouldn't send him on another right away. There was sound except for the leaves rustling ever so faintly from the breeze.

He closed his eyes, relaxed, and let his mind wander. He'd had time to think about Sakura's behavior had had come to four conclusions. One, she, along with ninety percent of the female population, was mentally unstable in a way that they thought was normal but would never be understood by guys. Two, she really, amazingly, was okay with Naruto being a girl. Three, she was, for some reason that he couldn't even begin to fathom, rooting for him and Naruto. And, finally, four, she was going to meddle in his love life, if he could call it that. Bothersome… But, at least for now, everything was peaceful.

"Hey! Shikamaru!" a loud voice yelled.

Troublesome.

He cracked open an eye to see Kiba running towards him. He should have known something would happen as soon as he thought that. "What, Kiba?"

"Ino sent me to get you! Everyone's down at the water," the canine-like boy replied.

He shoved his hand in his pockets and slouched after Kiba as the other jumped around excitedly in a way that made him think of Naruto.

"Hey, Shikamaru?"

"Yes, Kiba?"

"You were the first one to know Naruto was a girl, right?"

"Yes…"

"How did you find out?"

Ah, that. Well, to tell the truth or not to tell the truth, that is the question. Naruto didn't exactly seem to have a problem with telling people. "She crashed into me after coming out of the shower," he said bluntly, watching as Kiba's mouth dropped open and eyes widened.

"You… She… I – what? You saw her naked?"

"No, she had a towel on."

Kiba was waving his arms wildly in excitement. He patted Shikamaru on the back. "I am so jealous. She's really hot, isn't she?"

Shikamaru just managed to refrain from laughing… or punching him. He wasn't sure which. Kiba obviously had no qualms about Naruto being a girl.

Then, the boy gave a long, regretful sigh. "I would totally go after her, but I'm with Hinata now. We had our first date two days ago." There was a soft smile on his face that Shikamaru had never seen there before, besides when the boy talked about Akamaru.

He'd been right then. Hadn't he thought that they would get together before too long? And, as an added bonus, that meant that Kiba wouldn't be interested in Naruto… And there was jealously rearing its ugly head again. He really needed to get some control over that. After all, he was a genius, and, if he really put his mind to it, he should be able to get control over his emotions. Emotions were governed by the brain… and all of this sounded good in theory at least. Reality was a whole lot different than theory, though. In theory, the idea of him fancying Naruto was preposterous. In reality, he did and Naruto was actually a girl. This just proved that reality really was weirder than fiction.

They approached the grassy slope that led down to the water, and Shikamaru's eyes flickered over all of the people present. There was Shino, in his usual coat, Lee, in a pair of too tight bathing trucks that left far too little to the imagination and were of green spandex; Choji was grilling food on a makeshift grill, and numerous others were at the water's edge. Three people he didn't see, however, were Sakura, Ino, and Naruto.

Choji glanced up from the grill, laden with roasting meats and vegetables, and gave a friendly grin. "Shikamaru! Glad you finally joined us."

He gave the big man a lazy smile. "Choji. The food smells great, as usual. Where's Ino?" The real question was "Where's Naruto?" Hopefully, Ino and Sakura hadn't killed her with death by shopping.

Then, as if the mere thought of Ino had summoned her, her cheerful, and loud, voice rang through the air. "Okay! Pay attention, everyone."

He turned to see Ino and Sakura standing close together and each grinning like the cat who got the canary. "You know that this party is in Honor of Naruto, right? Well, I'm sure all of you have heard the rumors, even if you haven't seen her yet. We are proud to present, Naruto Uzumaki!"

They both stepped aside, showing the figure standing behind them. And then there was absolute silence as everyone stared at Naruto.

Her hair was up in its usual high pigtails, but her hair had been brushes until it was smooth and shone like spun gold. Shiny lip-gloss drew attention to rose pink lips, and her bright blue eyes had been emphasized. A gauzy orange wrap around dress clung to her figure.

Shikamaru swallowed, mouth suddenly dry.

Ino glanced at Naruto, a smile playing around her lips. "Naruto, you're going to go swimming, right? You wouldn't want to get your dress wet."

Some part of Shikamaru's brain realized that there was something vaguely theatrical and planned to the way she spoke, but all rational thoughts went right out of his head the next moment.

Naruto's flimsy orange dress fluttered to the ground, revealing long lengths of creamy, tanned skin. Shikamaru's eyes widened. Naruto seemed to be wearing a bathing suit consisting of a few triangles of bright orange fabric and some string. High, mounded breasts were partially covered by two orange triangles and a braided orange piece of fabric tied around her neck and around her back. A bikini, tying in bows at the sides, matched.

Then, the silence was gone and the air was filled with wolf whistles, shouts, and several lewd comments.

"Holy… Naruto! You are smoking!" Kiba burst out, earning a slight glare from Hinata. He cringed under her gaze before wrapping his arms around her. "What? I'm a guy. Sorry. You know I love you, right?"

Pale eyes widened. "You love me?"

Now, Kiba looked flustered. "What? I mean… I…"

Shikamaru turned away from the gooey moment forming between the two and back to Naruto. He frowned when he saw who was talking to her. Neji. The long haired boy was standing far too close to Naruto, and he wasn't just being jealous. He'd always thought that Neji liked Naruto, and not in a strictly platonic way, and that was before he even knew Naruto was a girl.

He started to move towards them, only to be stopped by a very firm hand on his shoulder.

"We need to talk."

As if he didn't know who that dark, brooding voice belonged to. He turned around slowly, to come face to face with Sasuke, clad only in a pair of black swim trunks.

Why was the guy so pale? He looked like a vampire, and yet Shikamaru could still see girl's ogling him out of the corner of his eye.

He sighed. "About what?" he drawled, raising an eyebrow, although he already knew. Mostly, it was just to annoy the raven haired man.

A glower greeted that. "Naruto."

Obviously.

"What about her?" He just knew where this was going. He was actually surprised that the Uchiha hadn't shanked him yet. Did Naruto really have to say he'd seen her almost naked?

Sasuke hesitated, and then asked, "What are your feelings towards her?"

He blinked. That had definitely not been what he was expecting. Where were the threats and violence? Or at least a sneer or two. "My feelings… I don't see how they're any of your business," he replied, shoving his hands in his pockets.

In a flash, he was shoved up against a tree harshly. On instinct, a kunai found itself into his hand and hovered a few inches away from pale skin.

Onyx eyes glared at him. "It's my business because Naruto is my friend," Sasuke hissed. "He… She is my best friend, and if anyone hurts her I will disembowel them."

Well, that painted a pretty picture.

He continued. "I see the way that you look at Naruto. You like her. What I want to know is what are you intentions towards her?"

Oh, Kami… Why did he sound so much like an overprotective father? He supposed he better answer before the homicidal gleam in those eyes got any more prominent. "I… like Naruto, yes. As for my intentions…They're strictly honorable, I assure you." Well, not strictly honorable, but fairly… sort of. As honorable as a teenaged boy's intentions could be at any rate.

"They better be, because if they aren't… I will use you as a pincushion for kunai, cut out your tongue, rip out your eyes and shove them down your throat. After that, I'll use my Sharingan to make you relive the most horrifying moment of your life over and over again. You'll see everyone you love dying grotesque, painful deaths until you finally break because you just can't take it anymore." Deep, almost blood red eyes with slowly spinning black tomoes filled his vision. "Do we understand each other, Nara?"

Shikamaru looked back steadily at Sasuke. "Yes. I got it. I have no intention to hurt Naruto in any way." The phrase, "Unlike some people." Hung in the air, unsaid.

The faintest tinge of pink colored pale cheeks, and Sasuke glowered, eyes flashing.

Shikamaru glanced to the side, only to see several curious eyes on them. They must have made a little bit of a sight. After all, he and Sasuke didn't talk to each other, and now Sasuke was pinning him to a tree and he had a kunai ready to shove into the raven's ribs. The only reason they hadn't been interrupted was probably because no on wanted to be on the receiving end of Sasuke's wrath.

Slowly, the Uchiha let go of him and stepped back. Simultaneously, Shikamaru lowered the kunai, ending the standoff.

Shikamaru looked at him a moment longer. He had thought that Sasuke would see Naruto more in a romantic light. They were so close, but apparently it was more a familial bond. Like brothers… Or brother and sister. Good. Great, actually, except for the fact that Sasuke was going to be like fifteen over protective, possibly, make that definitely, homicidal, bastard fathers. He could just imagine him taking Naruto out on a date and coming back after a Uchiha-proclaimed curfew, only to have an angry Uchiha coming after him with fire jutsus. He shuddered. That was not something nice to imagine.

"So…" Sasuke now seemed slightly awkward, and Shikamaru knew why. He had just admitted that he cared about Naruto. And, therefore, that he had feelings, something he had been trying to convince everyone he didn't have. After a few awkward moments, and some more staring probably meant to be intimidating, Sasuke gave him a nod and turned and walked away.

Well, that was weird, but actually not entirely unexpected.

His eyes drifted towards Naruto again. She was still talking to Neji, but kept shooting glances over to where he was. And now that Sasuke was done threatening him, he could go talk to Naruto.

As he came closer, she flashed a smile at him before turned back to Neji. "I'll talk to you later. Okay, Neji?"

Neji gave a formal bow and a charming smile before taking Naruto's hand and placing a kiss on her it. "It was lovely to see you, Naruto. The real you. We will talk later," he said, eyes flickering towards Shikamaru. He gave him a polite nod of the head before walking away.

Naruto looked up at him. "What were you and Sasuke talking about?"

He paused. Truthfully, there had been some death threats and warnings about him and his feelings for her, but he really didn't want her to know that. He shrugged, a lazy movement. "Just stuff."

She looked at him pointedly, but he didn't elaborate. "It's nice to see that you're still alive after shopping with Ino and Sakura," he commented, changing the topic.

A shudder went through her. "Never… again. Never. I think they bought enough cloths for five people and all of this make up and just stuff! So much girly stuff. And the underwear! I really don't see how it even works. Something that tiny and lacy…" She trailed off, frowning, and apparently completely unaware of the effect her words had had on all of the young men listening.

Shino turned an amazing shade of red that previously Shikamaru had thought only Hinata could turn, and Choji simply stared into the distance, eyes slightly glazed, until Ino whacked him on the arm and he grinned sheepishly.

Shikamaru's imagination, on the other hand, was working over time. Naruto, laying back on silky sheets, black satin and lace contrasting with her golden, tanned skin.

Someone was snapping their fingers in front of his face, trying to get his attention. "Shikamaru? Shikamaru!"

He blinked, "What?"

"You spaced out," Naruto said. "What were you thinking about?"

You more than partially naked. Yeah… She probably wouldn't react well to that. "Just that I was thinking about getting in the water."

Blue eyes widened, and her lips curled into a smile. "Yeah! Come on!" And then she proceeded to run to the water, and a dozen or so pairs of eyes followed her.

Bouncing, smooth, lovely, tanned skin… He smacked himself in the head. He would not become a complete pervert like some people he knew. There were too many Kakashi's and Kazuo's in the world already.

"Shikamaru! Come on!" Naruto yelled from the water.

"We can keep you company, Naruto!" Shikamaru heard several guys chorus. Great… Suddenly he was really wishing that no one but him knew that Naruto was a girl. There would be so many less hormone driven males after her.

Since he didn't have a bathing suit, he stripped off his shirt and vest and shoes, leaving himself in baggy pants, and walked down to the water, whereupon Naruto immediately grabbed his hands and dragged him into the water.

Up close, he could see droplets of water on her skin, trickling down… He really needed to focus. And now that her bathing suit, what little of it there was, was wet, it clung to her like a second skin. Wow…

She beamed up at him, and then he got a face full of water as she splashed him.

He sputtered, wiping the water off of his face, only to be confronted with a broadly grinning Naruto. "It's on." And then he tackled her into the water. It certainly wasn't because he wanted to be closer to her. It was only to get back for splashing him. A little voice in the back of his mind was screaming "denial".

They surfaced, coming up gasping.

Somehow, Shikamaru's arms had wound around Naruto's waist. Out of the corner of his eye he caught a flash of pink. Sakura was giving him two thumbs up and mouthing the words, "Go for it." Right, she wanted him to kiss her or something.

Before he could even think about it more, a loud shout interrupted his musings.

"Holy shit!"

All heads turned towards the owner of the very loud voice.

Ten Ten stood on the grassy slope, eyes wide and mouth gaping. "Oh my…. It's actually true. You're a girl?" she asked, staring blatantly at Naruto. "I just got back from my mission and I heard the freakiest rumor that you were actually a girl. I couldn't believe it. But it's actually true. You're a hot girl."

Naruto shifted awkwardly under her gaze. "Umm… Thank you?"

"That is so cool! You really are Konoha's number one unpredictable ninja. This just proves it." After Ten ten had spent some more time staring blatantly at Naruto, she added, "Oh, yeah. And Tsunade told me to take these three to you. Apparently, they're new members of the village?"

Standing to the side and slightly behind Ten Ten were three familiar figures. Hikari, Keita, and Shota. They, like quite a few of the people present, were also staring at the scantily clad Naruto.

"You…" Hikaru seemed to have trouble getting her words out. "Why are you still wearing the henge? No… Don't tell me. You really are a girl, aren't you?" she exclaimed excitedly.

Naruto grinned almost apologetically. "Yep. I am."

The expression on Hikari's face was as if Christmas had come early. "I knew it!"

Shikamaru's grip tightened slightly around Naruto's waist. He just knew this was going to be trouble. It was painfully obvious that Hikari preferred a female Naruto, and she was blushing, eyes glazed slightly, as she looked at her.

Keita and Shota simply exchanged glances, grinned, and said, "Nice."

As the three walked hesitantly down to the water, Shikamaru knew that things were about to get troublesome. Call it a sixth sense or the fact that he was a genius, but, as Naruto slipped out of his arms and out of the water to go greet them, he had the feeling that in approximately… three minutes, give or take, someone was either going to be bleeding, he would be questioning his sanity, and someone would be screaming…. Troublesome.

* * *

Another day, another chapter. It has been a while since I last posted a chapter, but hopefully you'll all like it. The chapter's pretty long, too. I just couldn't find a place to end it, so it just kept going. Shikamaru understand a lot of things very well, but I don't think people of the female persuasion are one of them. Poor guy. And things are going to get even more difficult in the next chapter, probably. Cue evil laughter... here.

Ja ne,

_Rumer Hasit_

* * *

**xbamsod:** Yes, you really do have to be careful about the quiet ones. I mean, Hinata... Wow. I wonder if Shino will do anything surprising. A whole lot of perverted acts did happen, didn't they? They're just so much fun to write!

**harlequin320:** Ah. I'm so glad that you liked what happened with Hinata. She's awesome... and unexpected, isn't she? I suppose the kiss was just something that she needed to get out of her system. Writing Shikamaru's internal struggles are my second favorite thing to write in the story... after the random perverted acts, of course. Sasuke was a little more mature in this chapter... after he said all of those death threats, I mean.

**tsuki107:** Sasuke... Well. It seems that he's being pretty good about the whole situation, but I'm pretty sure that there are going to be several problems involving him and Shikamaru, though. Anyway, I'm glad you liked the chapter! And thank you for reviewing.

**the. stories. live. on:** Doesn't it seem like something that Kakashi would do? To use his sharingan like that? And the groping... Yeah. That's totally him. But, anyway, it's wonderful to know that you liked what's happening in the story. I hope you liked this chapter as well.

**Nero Strauss:** A good way to start your day? What a nice complement to the story. Thank you. Aaand... You got to see Ino's reaction. Well, a pregnant Ino's reaction. She's a bit scary. And I just brought in Ten Ten. Thanks for reminding me. Anko might appear in the next chapter to spice things up a little more. And I'll be sure to give her plenty of dango.

**librarycat9:** That's right. A terrifyingly pregnant Ino. Run for your life. I'm pretty sure I choked when I read what you wrote about Shino. I mean... What! A threesome, really? And as for the whole Orochimaru/Michael Jackson thing... So, so wrong.

**MegamiTenshiHime:** Well, I'm certainly very glad that you like it. And I sincerely hope that you enjoyed reading this chapter as well.

**Sillvog:** I promise, Ero-senin will come into this shortly... and cause a whole bunch of trouble. Perverted trouble, of course. The most amusing kind. And I hope you enjoyed what Ino planned so far.

**animeboylover:** You loved it? Yes! Good. I do seem to be making most of the characters into slight (or major) perverts, aren't I? Eh. It makes things more amusing. And I look forward to the day when you post up some of your artwork.

**Aquilon:** You read this... in one sitting? That's actually rather amazing. And flattering. I'm glad that you like how I portrayed Shikamaru as well. I try to keep their personalities close to how they actually are in the manga and anime. He's one of my favorite characters as well. Maybe my favorite, period. You were wondering about if village mission will come back into play, right? Well, it will. I don't think they'll be going back there, but something to do with the place will definitely happen in the near future. Shikamaru and Naruto's relationship will continue to evolve, and there will be one big push that I have planned especially. And Naruto might not be quite as unaware of her feelings as it seems like. But, you'll have to keep reading to find out what I'm babbling about. Anyway, thank you very much for your review. I enjoyed reading it, and I'm very happy to know that you like my story so much.

**meglepetes:** Shino... Is Shino. I'm not quite sure what to say about him. But, I like him.

**GILLIGFAN:** I think Naruto will get the exam in a couple of chapters... And maybe The Great Toad Sage will appear in that chapter as well. Oh, jeez. The chapter is already coming together in my head. It's going to be awesome! Is my story really your drug? Oh, noes! You must be going into withdrawl! Hopefully a this chapter will help you. And as for my brother... He's sort of hopeless in math, so he does need a bit of help.

**Shinigami's-Neko-Gaki:** No, Shikamaru was actually pretty safe. He barely had to do anything. And yes. I think holy crap is appropriate here. Hinata did indeed kiss Naruto... and then she went back to being her shy self. I don't think it'll happen again, though. We'll see.

**VampiricBloOdyRose**: Did you notice that the two people who's reactions were your favorites were the two shyest people? You really do need to watch out for the quiet ones. It's nice to know that you liked the last chapter, and I do hope that you like this one as well.

**TheBlackSeaReaper:** Yes, so many perverts to kill, so little time. Wait, what? No! That's not right. You can't kill off all of the perverts! First off, you'd be decimating a large proportion of the population, and, secondly, that would probably include me. But, I will keep up the "wonderful writing" as you put it, as long as you keep reading.

**Kanberry:** Thank you for the unusual and wonderful review.

**ComicGeek:** Yes! I will write more of this story. And I think that Naruto does realize a little more of Shikamaru's feelings towards her than she lets on. But, all will be revealed eventually. Thank you for the review.

**Dante Nastaran:** Yes! I made you squeal! And you're a tom boy, which makes that feat even more amazing. And you have no idea how happy it make me to hear that this is your favorite fanfiction. I mean, it's like winning a prize. Sort of. You know what I mean. Anyway, I'm just so very glad that you enjoy reading this story so much. I hope that you like this chapter, too and that it makes you smile.

**anie6142:** Shikamaru lose his sanity? Yes, I think that's a definite possibility. And as for Ino traumatizing Naruto... I think there's more of that in store in the future, too. Glad you liked everyone's reactions and everything, too.

**Fuyutaro son:** Oh, well. I do suppose this could get a little confusing if you haven't read anything for a while, but I suppose you could reread the last few chapters to find out what's happening?

**Juliedoo:** I don't think that my story has turned you into a lesbian just for liking that scene with Hinata and Naruto... Or maybe it has. My story has supernatural powers! But really, it was just a fun scene. And Hinata was pretty awesome in it. I especially like the Shikamaru and Naruto pairing as well. They do complement each other well. Naruto is pretty adorable, isn't she? And.. Jeez. I hadn't even considered what would happen when Naruto met Shikamaru's parents... I can just imagine.

**Mystia Katsuragi:** I'm glad you like it, but I didn't really mean for Naruto to get a harem. It just sort of happened. I guess it works, though. And, yes, I could prevent weird things from happening and have them all lie normal boring lives, but... who on earth would want to read about that? The more weirdness the better!


	22. Worrisome Weirdness

**!*!*! ATTENTION ... ATENCIÓN ... સાવધાની !*!*!**

**Disclaimer: **Not one single, itty-bitty, smidgeon of Naruto belongs to me or was created by me. I only own this fanfiction, where my twisted imagination can take over and make Shino into a closet pervert. Ah. Good times.

* * *

Shikamaru trudged out of the water behind Naruto. It wasn't that he was following her or anything; it was just that he really didn't like the gleam in Hikari's eyes. Yes, that one definitely preferred people of the female persuasion, especially Naruto, apparently.

Naruto ran the last few steps out of the water and then hugged Hikari, grinning. "I take it that you passed whatever test that Baa-chan set up for you? You're members of the village now?"

Hikari nodded, still blushing as Naruto's close proximity. "Yeah. We passed."

"And now you can finally stop running," Naruto said softly, giving Hikari another squeeze. "You have a home."

Keita hugged Naruto from behind. "And it's all thanks to you, Naruto."

Shikamaru shoved his hand in his pockets to stop himself from pulling them off of Naruto. They were just showing their gratitude. There was nothing sexual about it.

Shota stood off to the side, looking around coolly.

Shikamaru had to admit, he was one of the weirdest kids he'd ever met.

After hugging Hikari and Keita, Naruto swooped down and wrapped her arms around Shota, pressing him close. "Oh! I'm so glad that you guys are staying!"

Shota, after stiffening up at her initial touch, melted into her hug and hugged her back. Grey eyes found Shikamaru's from over Naruto's shoulder, and then Shota smirked at him.

What the…

A moment later, Shota's hands drifted lower until they were resting low on her hips.

Shikamaru's brain was having a hard time processing what he was seeing. No, that wasn't true. He knew what he was seeing. Shota had very clearly smirked at him and then practically groped Naruto. That part was clear enough. What did he get from that? Shota either liked Naruto and wanted him to know that, or, two, Shota didn't like Naruto but knew that Shikamaru liked her and was messing with him. He was really hoping for the second, because, if it was the first, that would mean that another person liked Naruto, which was troublesome to say the least. But Naruto wouldn't really consider Shota, right? He was like three or four years younger than her. That wasn't that much actually… No, now he was just being paranoid now. It was obvious that Naruto thought of Shota as a kid, not a potential romantic interest. There was no reason to worry.

And yet he still was.

Naruto straightened up, although she still kept one arm around Shota, and then looked around at everyone. "I want to introduce three new members of the village. This is Hikari, Keita, and Shota. I… met them on my last mission. Make them feel at home, please?"

Shikamaru noted that she very clearly didn't mention the fact that they had been the assassins that she had been sent to find and capture. Yeah, that probably wouldn't be the best way to introduce them.

People surged forward, friendly smiles on their faces, ready and happy to greet the new arrivals.

Shota seemed to tense as people surrounded him, and Naruto noticed. She guided him out of the crowd, and Shikamaru could hear her saying softly to him, "Not used to crowds of people clambering for your attention?"

The boy shook his head. "No, and I don't like it. I don't need idiots trying to usurp my time when it would be better spend on other things."

Shikamaru shook his head. Weirdest. Kid. Ever. He sounded more like a misanthropic old man than a young teenager.

Naruto frowned slightly at that. "I don't think that's right, but when you say things like that you remind me of someone…" Her face brightened all of the sudden, and she grabbed Shota's hand, hauling him along after her. "Yeah!" she said enthusiastically. "You remind me of the teme!"

Shikamaru followed them leisurely. Well, apparently he wasn't the only one who could see the resemblance between Shota and the Uchiha.

Naruto was dragging Shota over to the dark haired man they were talking about, who was leaning on a tree trunk nearby, being his usual antisocial, brooding self. Sasuke opened his eyes as Naruto approached, glanced at Shota and Naruto, and then merely raised an eyebrow.

Naruto made the introductions. "Sasuke, this is Shota. Shota, this is Sasuke, my best friend."

Sasuke's lips curled into one of the smallest smiles possible, the merest twitch of the lips, but to an experienced eye, it was easy to see that he was pleased by Naruto's description of him. The Uchiha turned his attention to Shota, and the two stared at each other, obviously sizing each other up. Then, simultaneously, they gave a dismissive snort and looked away.

Shikamaru stared. They really were like clones of each other. Great. That was all Konoha needed. Another Uchiha. He could barely deal with one of them. And this one might like Naruto in a way that was definitely not familial. So troublesome.

Sasuke was back to staring at Shota. He seemed flabbergasted that the younger boy had actually dismissed him. Onyx eyes narrowed. "Shota you said? And he is…"

"A new ninja," Naruto supplied. "He and his siblings… were sort of the assassins that we were after. But they're okay! They're really nice people, so I asked Takeshi to let me take them back to Konoha. They have a bloodline, too. Hyoton. Like Haku had. Oh, and don't tell anyone else about the whole assassin thing. Okay?"

Sasuke nodded slowly, taking another look at Shota. Shota just glared back and then, quite deliberately, took a step closer to Naruto so that their legs were almost touching as they stood there. Sasuke didn't miss the movement, and the atmosphere suddenly got a little tenser. Naruto, of course, had no clue what was going on.

Shikamaru sighed. She was cute, and nice, and rather wonderful, but she was so oblivious.

"Shota sort of reminded me of you, so I thought you could show him around the village and maybe teach him some basic jutsus. He's too old to go to the academy." She smiled at Shota and bumped him lightly with her hip. "Of course. I'll teach you everything I can!" She turned back to Sasuke, waiting for his answer.

He was glowering. "No. I have better things to do than teach a brat."

Wasn't that very close to what Shota had said earlier?

Shota glared. "As if I'd want a pale, emo, kusojijii like you to teach me."

Naruto clapped her hands over Shota's mouth and Shikamaru tried to stifle his laughter, with only moderate success. He just called him a pale, emo, old fart. He just called an Uchiha that. The look on Sasuke's face was hilarious. It was a mixture between murderous and shock. As he watched. The shock faded into a completely murderous expression.

"What did you say?" he hissed out through clenched teeth.

Naruto was waving the hand that wasn't clamped over Shota's mouth wildly, trying to diffuse the situation. "Sasuke! Stop looking all violent and dark! He's just a kid! Don't you even think about doing anything, Teme. Besides, Shota didn't mean it, did you?" Slowly, she lifted her hand off of his mouth. From her position, Naruto couldn't see the smirk on Shota's face, but Shikamaru could.

She only heard his voice say innocently, "Of course not. I'm so sorry, Saskue."

And Shikamaru just knew he was messing up his name on purpose.

"See, Teme, he apologized."

Sasuke's eye was twitching. "He-" He stopped at the look on Naruto's face. Her blue eyes were wide and sad, her pink lips pouting. Her expression seemed to be saying, "Please be nice? He's new and I want him to feel welcome".

Finally, with a scowl, Sasuke gritted out, "Fine. I'll teach him sometime."

Shikamaru shook his head. Even Sasuke couldn't say no to Naruto's pleading puppy dog face.

A huge, almost blinding smile lit up Naruto's face, and then it morphed into something softer. "Thank you."

"Hn."

"Naruto!" Ino's voice shouted from the middle of the crowd. "Come here!"

Naruto smiled at Sasuke once more, gratefully, and then turned around and walked back to the calling blonde.

Shota looked at both Shikamaru and Sasuke for a moment longer, smirked, and then turned and followed Naruto.

Shikamaru and Sasuke exchanged glances, and then Sasuke said, "That brat is trouble."

"Troublesome," Shikamaru agreed.

They both stared after Shota and Naruto.

"Am I mistaken or is he after Naruto?" Sasuke asked quietly.

"I don't think you're wrong," Shikamaru said.

"Hn. There's no way in hell that I'm letting him near her."

"I completely agree with you."

The two teen exchanged looks again, and they made a silent truce. While Shikamaru knew Sasuke wasn't too keen on Shikamaru's feelings for Naruto, he also knew that Sasuke now really didn't like Shota, not that he did, either. So, they would make a truce in order to keep Shota away from Naruto, in as far as they could given the fact that Naruto seemed to have taken to him.

As Sasuke started to mutter about impertinent brats, Shikamaru drifted off into his thoughts. Naruto really should have known better. She was one of the few people who got along with Sasuke because she lightened up his dark broodiness. Shota seemed to have the same broodiness going, mixed in with teenaged attitude. Broodiness plus broodiness equaled not getting along. And that was putting it mildly. Very mildly. And he had the feeling that if Sasuke did wind up training Shota, then the younger boy would wind tied up and left in the middle of the training ground. Really, what had Naruto been thinking? She was good hearted, but she really did think too much of people.

Then, something interrupted his thoughts. It was Naruto yelling, "Hentai!" at the top of her lungs, followed by the sharp sound of a slap.

Both Shikamaru and Sasuke took off at a run towards the sound. They pushed through the crowd… only to see Kakashi standing in front of a furious, blushing Naruto.

"You hentai!" she screeched, taking a threatening step towards him. "Just because I'm a girl does not give you the right to grope me, pervert!"

Kakashi held up his hands in front of him in a placating gesture, although it was clear to see he was grinning behind his mask. "Now, now, Naruto-chan, what can you expect me to do when I discover that one of my favorite students a beautiful female? And when you're wearing that? Good choice, by the way."

His complements, if they would be called that, were not calming Naruto in the least. In fact, if anything, they seemed to be riling her up. "I swear, Kakashi sensei, if you grope me one more time, I am going to take a pair of chop sticks and shove them up your-"

Kakashi interrupted. "Ah, Naruto-chan, you shouldn't talk like that. You're a young lady." He got a glare in return for that.

Sasuke looked back and forth between Naruto and Kakashi. "Naruto, what did he do?"

"Isn't it obvious? It's Kakashi sensei we're talking about," Sakura pointed out.

Sasuke actually growled at that and advanced on Kakashi. But he wasn't alone, Shikamaru was on his right, and Neji was on his left.

Kakashi laughed nervously and backed up, only to run into someone.

Anko stood behind him, grinning widely and dressed in her usual tan overcoat and mesh body suit. "Going somewhere, Kakashi? Why, when it looks like these three boys are so eager to talk to you."

Shikamaru almost grinned at Anko's words. She just wanted to see Kakashi faced with three righteously pissed off teens. Sasuke was glaring at him. Shikamaru was already thinking about eight different ways he could restrain Kakashi in a potential painful ways that wouldn't leave permanent marks. Really, he just wanted to smack Kakashi upside the head, or possibly maim him a bit, for even daring to touch his Naruto. Wait… his Naruto? He really needed to get his hormones, infatuation, and possible feelings of possession and love under control. She wasn't his. But that didn't mean that he was okay, in any sense of the word, with Kakashi touching her. He was practically twice her age, wasn't he? And he a complete pervert.

On Sasuke's other side, Neji stared at Kakashi coolly. "I don't believe it's appropriate to behave that way towards Naruto. In fact, I would say that it's definitely not appropriate. Kakashi, if you insist on treating Naruto that way, I will be forced to… educate you in the manner."

Shikamaru got the message in the painfully proper words. I am going to beat the crap out of you if you grope her again. That's what he really meant.

Behind Kakashi, Anko was outright laughing at the position the silver-haired man was in. Plus, she was still blocking his path of retreat, quite purposefully.

Kakashi took a quick look at his surroundings, gave a lazy flick of his fingers in a salute goodbye, and then vanished in a swirl of leaves.

Anko snorted. "Coward."

Shikamaru glanced back at Naruto.

For some reason, she was frowning at them. "Why did you do that?"

The three very confused males exchanged glances, but it was Shikamaru who voiced the question. "Did what?"

"You know! Stood up for me and got all… weird."

Shikamaru stood, uncomprehending, for a moment, it clicked. She didn't get why they had gotten protective of her, that they were trying to protect her curvaceous figure from Kakashi's grasping hands, among other things. Why? Because she still basically had the mentality of a guy.

Then, Sakura and Ino rolled their eyes and whispered something in Naruto's ear.

Naruto's eyes widened and then her cheeks turned pink. She glanced up at them through dark lashes. "Oh… Thank you for… Um… defending my honor like that."

Shikamaru swallowed. Standing there in the bathing suit, blushing, and looking beautiful, feminine, and shy, Naruto was breathtaking. Several intakes of breath told him that he wasn't the only one of that opinion.

Sasuke walked over to be and fondly tugged on one of her pigtails. "Dobe."

"Don't call me Dobe, Teme!"

Shikamaru watching the interaction with interest. "Careful, Uchiha, your emotions are showing." That earned him a glare.

Anko pushed past Shikamaru and Neji to stand in front of Naruto. She looked her up and down. "So the rumors are true…"

Those darn rumors again. Really, with ninjas spreading it, everyone probably knew.

She took a bite of dango off one of the two sticks she was holding, and nodded thoughtfully before abruptly holding out a stick with a dango on it, saying, "Want one?"

Shikamaru frowned. Anko was offering to share her dango? That was weird. And unusual. And unprecedented. What was going on? Of course, with Anko, it was hard to figure out what she was going to do or why she did it.

Even Naruto seemed a little confused. "Umm… Thanks…" she said hesitantly, accepting the dango cautiously, as if Anko was going to stab her with the stick at any moment. It wouldn't be the first time. And now Anko was just watching her. Naruto looked at the dango suspiciously. "You didn't poison it, did you?"

"Are you insinuating something?" Anko asked, eyes narrowing.

"No! No! I'm not." She took a bite of the dango. "See?" Naruto took another bite of the dango, and a drop of syrup fell onto the smooth, tanned skin of her chest, sliding down the valley between her breasts. Naruto carelessly wiped it away, and then licked it off her fingers, glistening pink tongue sliding over tanned skin. She took another bite of dango, this time managing to get some of it by the corner of her mouth.

Then, Anko leaned forward and licked the bit of dango away. She pulled back, smirking. Naruto's face was bright red from confusion and embarrassment, and she seemed to be at a loss for words, an extremely rare occurrence.

Meanwhile, almost everyone present was in various states of discomposure and arousal. Hinata and Neji both had nose bleeds; Shino was on the ground, most likely passed out. Sasuke looked flustered. Both Ino and Sakura were pink cheeked, and Hikaru was practically drooling. Shikamaru quickly tried to calm himself before a certain part of his anatomy made itself known.

What the heck was Anko doing?

Anko seemed amused at the reactions of the people around her, actually laughing when Kiba held a towel over his groin to block the view. Then, she sidled up to a still flabbergasted Naruto, flinging a friendly arm over the blonde's shoulders. "So, now that you're a girl, have you given any thought to learning the art of seduction?"

Shikamaru's eyes widened, and now even his brain was sputtering. The images his mind was generating when Anko said it like that, in a purposely sultry voice, was not helping his control over his body.

"Seduction?" Naruto asked, cocking her head to the side in confusion.

"Yup. Seduction. Look at you with that body. It would be a shame if you didn't use it to your advantage. I mean, I'm distracted, and I'm not even a guy."

Naruto glanced over at Shikamaru and Sasuke and then back to Anko. "Right… Thanks, I think."

After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Anko prompted. "Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Do you want me to teach you?"

"Well, I-"

"Good. I'll meet you tomorrow at your house."

Shikamaru was pretty sure that Naruto hadn't agreed to anything, but apparently Anko had already decided. And it usually wasn't a good idea to go against her. One, because she wasn't the sanest person in the world. Two, she was stubborn, and, three sadistic. Those were not the best combinations in the world, especially when they were Anko. She actually reminded him a little bit of Naruto, if Naruto was deranged.

Sasuke frowned down at Anko. "I don't think Naruto agreed to anything." It was obvious that the Uchiha didn't approve of Naruto learning how to seduce.

Shikamaru couldn't say that he didn't disagree with Sasuke, unless Naruto wanted to practice the seduction techniques on him. That was something he was okay with. Kami, he really needed to focus.

Anko didn't seem fazed at all by Sasuke's comment. "Yes, she did. You just didn't hear it."

"Naruto is not going to learn seduction," Sasuke said bluntly while Naruto looked back and forth between the two.

Anko tilted her head to the side and asked him, "So, how long has it been?"

A flash of confusion crossed Sasuke's face before settling back into his usual stoic mask. "How long has what been?"

"How long have you had a pole shoved up your-"

"Okay!" Ino said loudly, pale blue eyes wide. "So, I think the barbeque is ready. Who's hungry?"

Shikamaru snorted quietly. Well, that was one way to diffuse the situation. Sasuke still looked like he wanted to disembowel Anko, and Anko seemed to be enjoying baiting him.

Naruto put a calming hand on Sasuke's arm, which was rather surprising, since Naruto wasn't really the calming sort, and looked at the dango wielding woman in front of her. "Anko, while I appreciate your offer…" Shikamaru could tell that she was trying to phrase the fact she didn't want to learn how to seduce in a way that wouldn't make Anko go bat-shit on her. "I don't think it's necessary for me to learn it."

"Yes, it is." Pupil-less brown eyes narrowed dangerously. "Or do you just not want to be taught by me?"

"What? No! I didn't say that! I-"

Once again, Ino intervened. "I think it's a good idea. Naruto totally needs to get in touch with her femininity and learning how to use her wile would help." She looked to Choji for support. "Don't you think it's a good idea?"

"Yes, dear." He was so whipped.

Next, Ino turned to Sakura. "I'm right, aren't I?"

Sakura tucked a strand of pink hair behind her ear, and then, carefully avoiding looking at Naruto, said, "I think that it would be a good idea."

The look of horror on Naruto's face was almost comic. Almost. "Sakura, you're supposed to be on my side," Naruto whimpered, looking completely and utterly betrayed.

"Sorry, Naruto, but I think it would be a good idea if you got in touch with your feminine side," Sakura said with a shrug.

Naruto groaned and leaned into the closest person, who just happened to be Shikamaru. Resting her forehead on his shoulder, she grumbled, "Why are all of the girls against me? It's it enough that I let them dress me like this? I'm wearing makeup for Kami's sake! And Kyuu-chan is laughing. She thinks it's funny!" She looked up at him. "You think I'm feminine enough, don't you?"

"Definitely," he responded automatically. His eyes flickered downwards; Her pink, glistening lips were close to his. If he just lowered his head a little… He started to lower his lips to hers, but, before he could, a loud voice yelled, "Whoa!"

Shikamaru cursed inwardly. The universe was obviously conspiring against him.

Everyone turned towards the person who had exclaimed. Familiar spiky brown hair and an overlong scarf met their sight. Konohamaru stood there, Moegi and Udon flanking him, as usual. They were all staring, open mouthed, at Naruto. Udon took off his glasses and polished them before replacing them and going back to staring at Naruto.

"Boss, is that really you?" Konohamaru asked, eyes wide.

Before Naruto could answer, Moegi put her hands on her hips and stalked closer to Naruto. "This better not be one of your perverted henges!"

Naruto scratched her head and chuckled nervously, trademark grin coming out. "No, it's not a henge, Moegi."

"So, you're actually a girl?" Konohamaru asked.

"Yes…"

"Well... at least you're hot."

Shikamaru blinked. Konohamaru was taking it very well.

He turned to Moegi and Udon. "Can we still call her boss?"

Udon nodded. "I think so. It's a gender neutral term, isn't it?"

That was what they were concerned with? Well, it was better than freaking out over Naruto's sudden switch of gender. In fact, they seemed to be taking it better than anyone. Maybe hanging out with Naruto so much and emulating him… her, when they were young had something to do with it. They just didn't know weird when it was staring them in the face anymore. He shook his head. The situation was just so… And, as if the deity watching over all of the happenings in Shikamaru's life had been listening, the situation got even odder.

Ino gave Naruto a sudden hug. "See? Isn't this nice? Everyone knows that you're a hot chick and they're all okay with it!" Then, when she pulled away from the hug, her bracelet got caught on the string from Naruto's bikini top, untying the string holding the top up.

It almost seemed to happen in slow motion. The orange ties slithered down, and then the very fabric that was covering Naruto's ample chest started to fall away, showing more and more tanned skin. But then there was a faint buzzing, and Naruto's breasts were covered, no longer in danger of flashing everyone present. But they were covered by… what looked suspiciously like Shino's kikaichū.

And Naruto didn't seem bothered by that fact in the least. She merely flashed a smile at Shino, who was looking pink cheeked and no longer passed out on the ground, and said, "Thanks, Shino," not appearing put off in the least that she was basically wearing a bra made out of bugs.

Shikamaru looked around. Was he the only one who found this mildly disturbing? Judging from the other people's expressions, they found it somewhat disconcerting, too.

He heard Kiba mutter, "This is like some really weird type of porn."

He couldn't have said it better himself.

Then, suddenly, Anko, now finished with her dango, declared, "I've changed my mind. We're going to start your training immediately!"

"Umm… Anko, I don't think-" And, once again, Naruto didn't get to say what she wanted to, because Anko dragged her off, leaving everyone staring after them.

Sakura turned to Sasuke. "Did that just happen?"

"Yes…" The raven-haired man looked very much like he wanted to stab someone. "And I thought the Dobe was troublesome when she was a he."

"You took the words right out of my mouth," Shikamaru muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Konohamaru looked back and forth at everyone. "What did we miss?"

"Anko is going to teach Naruto how to seduce men…"

Brown eyes widened and then Konohamaru turned around and ran after Anko and Naruto. "I've got to see this!" Moegi and Udon followed, hot on his heels.

Hikari and her brother's exchanged glances. "Is Konoha always like this?"

"Pretty much," came the chorused answer.

Shikamaru shook his head and turned to wade back into the water. After seeing a more than partially naked Naruto, not to mention her licking the syrup, and everything else, he needed a cold shower. But the lake would do for now. He dove under the water, letting the cold wash over him, and opened his eyes, staring up through the water to the sky overhead.

The last half hour had had more stuff packed into it than his usual week. That must be because of Naruto. And, oddly enough, he didn't mind. He sighed, bubbles floating up through the water.

But, seriously, Anko teaching Naruto to flirt? It was not going to end well. And that wasn't even considering the fact that he didn't want Naruto flirting with another other guys. And he knew Anko. Whatever she taught Naruto, there was going to be dango and sadism involved. Probably some screaming and minor maiming as well.

He broke the surface of the water and starting to swim back to shore.

Call him overly protective, but he really didn't trust Anko and Naruto together. It wouldn't hurt to go over to Naruto's house and check up on them… Kami. Love really was troublesome.

* * *

First off, here's a new chapter for you all. Secondly, I want to apologize for how long it took to get this chapter us. I've was battling with the dreaded monster know as Writer's Block, and I've only recently defeated it. It put up a good fight, though... Feel free to think I'm insane. Anyway, several more characters made their appearance, didn't they? And in the next chapter, another person is going to appear. Another very perverted person. In fact, I think he could be called a super-pervert. Anyway, sorry for the delay, and I hope you enjoyed it.

Ja ne,

_Rumer Hasit_

* * *

**xbamsod:** Once again, I do apologize to the extremely late update. And, yes, Shikamaru's sixth sense was definitely right. Things got just plain weird. And Shino... I don't really know what to say about him. Anyway, thank you for reviewing this story. I appreciate it.

**the . stories . live . on:** I feel sorry for Shikamaru, too... but not to the point where I'm going to start writing the story so that everything goes easy for him. Where would the fun in that be? I rather like torturing my characters. Muahahaha... I mean... Poor, Shikamaru. And thank you very much for your comment on how I treat Naruto's sudden gender switch. I do try to take the changes there would be into account, and I appreciate that you noticed that.

**Rika-chan24**: Thank you. I'm very glad that you liked my story and thought it was funny. Hopefully, it made you laugh. ^_^

**NatalieNamikaze2006:** Thank you, thank you, and thank you. You're review made me smile. Shikamaru tried to make a move on Naruto in this one... but he got interrupted. Again. And as for Sasuke being the over-protective brother. I think it suits him, too. It's going to cause some trouble, though... Hilarious trouble.

**Kanberry:** Ah. I really do like your reviews. Short and sweet.

**ComicGeek:** Yes! My story gave you a nosebleed? That is so... awesome! I take it that means that you enjoyed the chapter. *wriggles eyebrows suggestively*. Ang, yes, Shikamaru is a lucky, lucky man. Or, he will be, if he ever gets around to actually making a move on her. Maybe next time.

**9tailedokami16x**: I'm glad you think that the chapter was funny. I hope you like this one as well.

**DOOOOOOM Lord of Waffles:** Bloody brilliant, you say? What a compliment. Oh, and one more thing... Your pen name is just pure awesome.

**MegamiTenshiHime:** You love it! Yes! That's exactly what I like to hear. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside when people say that. Like I've eaten a chocolate puppy. No, wait... That didn't come out right. The Sasuke-father moment was quite fun to write, by the way.

**harlequin320:** Glad you find Shikamaru's internal ramblings fun to read. I like writing them. So, I'm glad you thought the last chapter was a good one, I will keep up the good work, and I do apologize for not updating sooner, but I hope you enjoy this.

**librarycat9:** Hmm... Kidnapping Naruto with shadows and locking her in a tower. Watch it. I think that just gave Shikamaru ideas. ^_^ Thank you for reviewing.

**Aquilon:** Hm? You're thanking me for responding to your review? No need to do that. Thank you for actually reviewing and telling me what you think in the first place. And I understand what you're saying about Naruto's mindset, and how it might still be male. In fact, I think she probably does still think like a male. But, from Naruto's character, to me at least, it does seem like she'd care more about who a person was than their gender, per se. Moving onto Neji. Yes, I do think he's interested in Naruto, and I think she'd have at least some feelings towards him as well. Poor Shikamaru. He really needs to up his game. And I'm glad you approved of my method to remove Sasuke from the romantic equation. I really didn't want this to turn into a SasuNaru story. And he fits into the big brother role, I think. So, overall, thank you for everything you had to say. I liked reading it.

**OrangeLamb:** Thank you. I'm glad that you thought that the last chapter was great, and I can only hope that you like this one as well.

**bhennen:** Well, this story is going to go on for quite a bit further. I'm not saying that the story is going to double, but I have quite a few more chapters planned.

**BBBBGarden Golden:** Mm. You looooove the story? That's very nice to hear. And I didn't know that Shota meant that, but I do now. How informative.

**Nero Strauss:** Ta da! Let's welcome Anko! Shino... well, he made some sort of a move. I think he's a closet pervert. And as for Neji... Yes, I think he likes Naruto. Shoot. How did I forget about Gaara and Temari, though? I shall have to think about it. Thank you for the ideas and comments.

**Anie6142:** Yes... Well, hopefully Shikamaru's powerful brain will keep him from going insane under all of the weird and crazy things that always happens when Naruto's present. As for Hikari molesting Naruto in her sleep. Maybe Naruto should sleep with one eye open. Keita doesn't seem all that interested, and I'm not sure if Shota really likes Naruto, or if he just likes messing with Sasuke and Shikamaru.

**VampiricBloOdyRose:** Shikamaru did try to make another move in this chapter, but, sadly, he was interrupted by Konohamaru. I think he needs to be bolder about the whole thing. And maybe Sakura will help him... Or she might just muck things up. You never know.

**Prodigy of War:** Amazing? Well, thank you. It feels nice to have my story called that particular adjective. I am sorry that this chapter took so long to post up, though. I'm still getting over the Writer's block... But, hopefully you enjoyed this chapter.

**Mystia Katsuragi:** I do keep making Shikamaru's life more and more troublesome, don't I? It's rather amusing. And, no, I swear I haven't forgotten about this story. It's just the darned Writer's Block.

**animeboylover:** Congratulations on getting into that college of the arts. I wish you luck on that. And I'm glad that you like how it turned out that Neji was interested in Naruto and Sasuke was the protective familial type. I completely agree with you. Way too many SasuNaru fics.

**Shinigami's-Neko-Gaki:** Plum torture indeed. I shudder to even think of a shopping trip with Ino and Sakura. Which is exactly why I had Naruto go with them. I'm just evil like that. And I don't think that people think that Shikamaru and Naruto are dating... Or some of them might, but I'm pretty sure any guy going after Naruto isn't going to care. Poor Shikamaru.

**anon:** Ah, well thank you very much. It's nice to know that you look forward to my chapters. I hope you enjoyed this one.

**Rumer Hasit Fan D:** The biggest grin formed on my face when I read your review. I was ecstatic to hear that my story made your crappy day marginally better. I mean, I'm just glad that you enjoyed it and gave you an evening of pleasurable reading. I do hope that you enjoy this chapter, too, and, hopefully, it won't be as long until my next post. Oh... and one more thing. I rather like your pen name. ^_^

**Nerd4ever243:** Friggin' awesome? I think I rather like that description. I think I could feel my ego growing with every positive comment I read in your review. So, just... Thank you.

**Zlatka:** Gasp! You don't like Shikamaru? Well, you're entitled to your own opinion... even if you're wrong. Just joking. And you wanted to know what Shino could do with his bugs, right? Well, there was a little big of his bugs in here.

**Slytherin's Pimp:** You know, you are right about that. Shikamaru does need to man up. I think I have something in mind...

**gor not gore:** Thank you very much. I enjoy writing about Shikamaru as a... erm.. Horny teenager, and you obviously enjoy reading it, so it's all good. And there's no need to thank me for posting this story. I want to thank you for reading it and taking the time to review. So, thank you.


	23. Wearisome Wonders

**!*!*! ATTENTION ... AIRD ... 注意 !*!*!**

**Disclaimer: **Not one single piece of Naruto belongs to be, as is evidence by the fact that several completely awesome people died and didn't immediately come back as zombies. Or something like that. Read on.

* * *

Shikamaru vaguely noticed as the last house faded from view as he approached the forest. He was actually a little afraid of what would happen if Anko taught Naruto the arts of seduction. Naruto tended to throw herself into things completely and Anko was simply nuts… and that wasn't a good combination if they didn't want to create an unstoppable force of seduction that no man would be able to stand against… or something. Of course, it could just be his subconscious trying to make up excuses for why he didn't want Naruto learning how to seduce guys. Probably the second one, if he was honest.

He squinted at the path in front of him. In the distance, and rapidly getting closer, were two figures half dragging half carrying a third between them. After another few seconds, it was clear who they were. Konahamaru and Moegi were carrying an unconscious Udon between them, his feet dragging on the ground.

Now, the question was whether Anko or Naruto had done the damage and what exactly had happened. Shikamaru paused, coming to a stop, and stared at them. "What happened?"

Konahamaru seemed excited and not put out at all about the state of his friend. "It was awesome! Boss is going to be the best shinobi ever!"

That sounded… forbidding.

He continued, "Anko was teaching Naruto a seduction technique and then told Naruto to try it out and Udon volunteered and then he had a giant nosebleed and passed out. Isn't that cool? And then Anko made us leave because she said that the techniques that she was going to teach Naruto were apparently too powerful and that we'd have to wait a few years until we were older." The last sentence was said in a sullen, grumbling tone.

"I see…" Shikamaru said slowly. And he did. He needed to get to Naruto's before anything else happened.

Letting Moegi and Konahamaru drag their unconscious friend off, he started off again towards Naruto's house at a quicker pace.

Finally, the orange tower-like abode came into view. The front door was open, so he, thankfully, didn't have to climb through the little hole in the door for foxes like he'd had to the first time. He cocked his head to the side. The soft murmur of voices was coming from where he knew the living room was. As he got closer, the murmurs formed words.

"That's almost the expression that you want to make, Naruto, just arch your eyebrow a little," Anko's voice said.

"Like this?" Naruto asked.

"Uh huh. And thrust out your chest. You want to emphasize your assets. They can be really distracting to a male shinobi in a battle. Speaking of battles, sometimes you want to let them get you. No! Don't make that face. I don't mean to let them cut you, I just mean to let them cut your clothes. If you're good enough, you can control where they cut. Let's say that they attack you with a kunai. You can maneuver it so that they cut the front of your shirt over your breasts, exposing a lot of skin. A lot of the time that can get them to falter for a second, and that's all the time you need to attack."

Naruto's voice, slightly awed, said, "That's brilliant!"

And it actually made sense. Shikamaru could see how it could easily work on some less experienced shinobi and some of the more perverted ones. He came into the living room and came face to face with the expected sight of Naruto and Anko seated together on the black and orange couch.

Shino's kikaichū were gone and Naruto's bathing suit top was tied around her neck again. Briefly, he wondered what they would report to Shino before dismissing the thought. He was becoming a pervert. But, really, with all of the perverts around him, it was surprising he'd lasted this long without it happening.

Naruto's eyes lit up at the sight of him. "Shikamaru! Anko's been giving me some awesome advice and showing me some techniques."

An image of the unconscious Udon flashed before his eyes. What sort of techniques was she learning exactly?

Anko didn't look nearly as enthused about his appearance, but then a wicked smile formed on her face. "Nara! How would you like to be a test subject?"

That sounded… highly suspicious. Even though he already knew, he asked, "A test subject?"

"Well, our Naru-chan is going to need someone to practice on, although if you don't want to, I'm sure that we can find several other guys who wouldn't mind."

He just refrained from glowering. He could just imagine.

But, before he could answer, Naruto spoke up. Oddly enough, she didn't look pleased by the idea of him helping her practice. In fact, she looked a little uneasy. "There's no need for Shikamaru to do that. And we don't really need anyone for me to practice on yet, do we?"

He frowned. Why did she sound so against the idea?

Anko shrugged. "You're probably right. I need to teach you more and then make sure that you don't abuse your new found powers before we start using test subjects."

How on earth did she manage to make is sound so sinister? The answer? She was mentally unbalanced with a twisted sense of humor. Still, he could kind of see what she meant. It probably wouldn't be too difficult for Naruto to have a bunch of guys lusting after her, and by a bunch, he meant half the town.

Shikamaru glanced at Naruto and then back at Anko. "I'd like to talk to Naruto. Would you mind continuing your teachings tomorrow? And I'm sure Naruto's still a little tired from the mission. She should probably catch up on sleep."

In fact, there was absolutely no reason why Naruto would be tired, since it hadn't been a physically tiring mission by any stretch of the imagination, but he wanted to talk to her alone, and it was a good excuse as any. Now all he had to do was hope that Anko didn't decided to stab him with something. How good were his odds on that again? By his calculations, not that good.

Anko's eyes narrowed and she opened her mouth to speak, but Naruto interrupted her hurriedly. "He's right, Anko-sensei. How about we continue this tomorrow?"

Anko stared at the pair of them for a moment, gears in her brain visibly turning, and then a sudden look of understanding appeared in her eyes. "Oh, sure. I'll leave so that you can talk to her alone, Nara." She winked at him.

Great. She knew that he liked Naruto, although it probably wasn't that hard to tell. He had the horrible feeling that the teasing was going to be merciless. And she would probably gossip about it to Kurenai over dango and then the whole village would know that he was in love with Naruto. And then all of the other guys, seeing that there was someone serious about Naruto, would up their game. Or something like that. Once again, it could all be the imaginings of his jealous brain. It was still troublesome, though.

Anko stood up and addressed Naruto. "I'll see you tomorrow. We need to go shopping for some proper clothing for you."

The expression on Naruto's face was the same one she would have if she was told there was no more ramen. "But Sakura and Ino took me shopping already," she almost whimpered.

"That was for civilian clothes, right? You need some shinobi gear that actually looks good. And no jump suits. They're not sexy."

Shikamaru knew what Naruto was going to say before she even said it. "But jumpsuits are awesome!"

"No. Jumpsuits. Got it? Not unless they're made out of mesh or something even less substantial."

Having such a brilliant mind and imagination was a blessing and a curse, sometimes.

Reassured that Naruto understood about the jumpsuit issue, Anko walked out of the room with a, "I'll see you later, Naru-chan." And then she was gone.

Shikamaru blinked. He really hadn't expected it to be that easy to get Naruto alone.

Naruto stood up. "Do you mind if I go and change before we talk about whatever you came to talk about? I feel like I'm going to fall out of this at any moment," she said, plucking at the minimal fabric which covered her amble bosom.

He nodded, too lazy to actually waste energy on speaking and trying not to envision what she was talking about for fear his hormones would take over, and sunk back into the couch.

"Okay. I'll be right back," she said, and then walked out of the room.

Through half-closed eyes, Shikamaru watched her hips swish back and forth before disappearing.

He closed his eyes. Okay, now all he needed to do was figure out how exactly to tell Naruto that he might possibly be in love with her. It would probably be easier to say that he liked her first and then work up to the whole love thing later. But how to go about it? The easiest way would either be to kiss her or to simply tell her. Or possibly both. He needed to do something for several reasons. One, he just knew Sakura was going to meddle in it if he didn't do something, and, two, it had gone on like this enough. It seriously seemed like fate was trying to annoy him and make something interrupt every time that he tried to kiss Naruto or tell her how he felt.

A weight settled on the couch next to him and he opened his eyes. Wearing a baggy shirt that she probably of worn when she was disguised as a guy and a pair of short, she still looked beautiful.

"What? Not going to wear any of the clothes that Ino and Sakura bought you?"

Her face darkened. "I only did that under duress. You wouldn't believe the stuff that they had be buy. It's not functional at all!" And the male aspect of Naruto rears its head. She shook her head, as if trying to forget the horrors of shopping with two overly enthusiastic females, and then asked, "So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

He hesitated. To tell her that he liked her. He'd do it; he just needed a second to work up the courage. It really did seem ridiculous that he could kill people and face strong, ruthless ninja without flinching, but he was having a hard time telling her that he liked her. Even to his advanced brain it didn't make any sense whatsoever. Okay, he needed to be clear and straightforward about it, since she could be just a little dense.

Finally, he just said bluntly, "I like you."

"I know."

He blinked. For all of the answers that he expected her to give, that one had been extremely low of the probability list. "I mean romantically," he added, just to make sure that she hadn't misunderstood.

"I knew what you meant, Shikamaru."

He stared at her. Okay, that was anticlimactic. And a little confusing.

She was staring at her intertwined fingers, looking embarrassed and sheepish. He didn't really have any idea what to say at this point. Thankfully, he didn't have to. Naruto cleared her throat and brought her head up to look at him.

"I've known that you've liked me for a while," she admitted, a blush across her cheeks. "It's just…"

What was going on? She knew? Why hadn't she said anything? And why had she acted like she'd been completely unaware of that fact? And what exactly was she going to say if she ever finished her sentence? If she said that she only say him as a friend, that was going to be completely troublesome. And suck. Extremely.

Then she finished her sentence. "I just didn't know what to do."

"Come again?" By now, he was really starting to wonder if things had to be complicated just because they had to do with Naruto and if it was part of her charm.

Her face seemed to be getting progressively pinker. "You heard me. I didn't know what to do."

And he was still completely lost. "You didn't know what to do about…" he prompted, trying to figure out what was going on.

She made a sound halfway between a sign and a groan and grabbed her head before jumping up off of the couch and starting to pace. "Shikamaru, I just didn't know what to do when I noticed that you liked me like – like that!" She stopped pacing and turned to face him. "Look, I was a boy for the first part of my life. I got most of my boy-girl interaction advice from Ero-sennin. I know thirty-five different sexual positions and how to proposition someone in two languages. I know the different ways to ask for specials in a brothel. What I do not know how to do is tell a guy that I like him!"

He choked slightly at the first part. Thirty-five different positions? And then his teenaged mind grabbed hold of the last sentence. "You like me?"

If possible, her face turned pinker. "I-I… Ummm…" she mumbled looking anywhere but him. Finally, she sat back down on the couch and said, "I think so. I mean, I like you as more than a friend, but then when I realized that I didn't know what to do. How do girls act around boys? And – and –"

"Naruto?"

She looked at him, vivid, sky blue eyes wide, pink lips slightly parted.

And then, before she could say anything else, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. Her lips were warm and even softer than he imagined. The word perfect came to mind. He slid one arm around her waist, pulling her even closer, skin smooth under his callused fingers, and tried to express all of his feelings towards her in the simple, almost chaste, kiss. The affection and longing and relief that she returned his feelings and elation at what was happening.

Her arms wrapped around his neck, and then she hesitantly kissed back, lips moving in harmony against his own.

Slowly, he drew back, not because he wanted to, but because they were in danger of running out of air. Naruto's lips were pinker than usual and faintly swollen from the kiss, her eyes at half-mast. "Oh," was the only thing she said breathlessly. During the course of the kiss, she had somehow wound up in his lap, but she didn't move, either because she didn't even realize that she was in his lap or because she didn't mind.

He sincerely hoped it was the latter. As he waited for her to say something, his mind went back over what had happened. It actually made sense that she didn't really know how to act when she liked a guy. She hadn't had any parents to talk to, she'd been a member of the opposite sex for more time than she'd been a girl, and her sex education had practically come from magazines and the great, although highly perverted, Toad Sage. He could kind of see why she'd basically acted like she'd have no idea that he liked her, although it had made things a lot more complicated. But, then again, this was Naruto. Being complicated was sort of a given.

But they'd finally kissed and it had been… perfect. When had he turned into a complete and utter sap? He was apathetic and lazy and unemotional… unless it had to deal with Naruto, apparently. Troublesome, but not necessary bad.

"Naruto, it doesn't matter that you don't know how to act like you think a girl should act. Just be yourself. I like you," he said, putting emphasis on the last word.

She nodded, and then burst out, "That was my first kiss. Well, my first kiss with a guy."

He didn't even try and stop the grin from forming across his lips. Disregarding Hinata kissing her, he'd been the only one. And he intended to keep it that way. Someone's getting possessive, a part of his mind pointed out. He ignored it.

Then, after a moment of silence, she said, voice soft but sure. "I like you. A lot."

In answer, he kissed her again softly. Yep. He was definitely turning mushy, but only for her. When he pulled back again, there was a blinding grin on her face. It was her signature grin, only softer somehow. And it was for him.

He moved in for another kiss, only to jerk back as a voice called throughout the house. "Naruto? You here?"

They froze, and then Sakura walked through the door. She came up short, staring at them, green eyes almost bugging.

Shikamaru knew exactly what she was seeing. Naruto, on his lap, arms around his neck while his arms were around her waist under her shirt. Naruto looked flustered and like she'd just been thoroughly kissed and he probably looked the same.

"Oh, sorry! I didn't know I was going to be intruding on anything," Sakura said, voice slightly uneven. Then she shot two thumbs up at him and mouthed, "Way to go!" while Naruto looked completely confused.

Finally getting a hold on her self, she asked, face straight. "Sooo… When's the wedding?"

"Wedding?" Naruto squeaked and somehow managed to fall off of Shikamaru's lap onto the floor with shock.

Shikamaru closed his eyes, feeling a headache coming on and tried not to flush. Troublesome.

Sakura waited while Naruto managed to get herself back together, at least partially, before adding, "I came down here because Lady Tsunade arrived at the party and told me that the council is ordering you to have a physical examination, just to make sure that you're really… a girl. They want it done as soon as possible, so it's probably for the best if we just head down there now."

Naruto nodded, looking extremely grateful at the change in topic, and then Sakura added, "Oh. One more thing. They thought it would be best if you helped Keita, Hikari, and Shota get used to the village and show them around, so, if it's okay with you, they're going to stay with you, until they're settled in and have found a place of their own."

Apparently completely forgetting her embarrassment of the moment before, Naruto let out a whoop. "That's great!"

Sakura turned and called over her shoulder. "Okay, guys. You can come in."

A moment later, Keita, Hikari, and Shota stood behind Sakura. Keita looked happy; Hikari looked like her birthday had come early, and Shota was smirking.

Shikamaru felt his stomach plummet. He knew it. He didn't know how exactly, but he was now sure that the universe was against his relationship with Naruto going easily. A girl who had an obvious crush on Naruto was going to be staying with her. And, even more worrisome, Shota, who seemed to want Naruto, or maybe just to piss Shikamaru off was going to be staying, too, and Shikamaru had no doubt that he'd use it to his advantage. Briefly, he wondered about making the kid vanish and be left trussed up in a forest far away. It would solve some of his problems, but… it wasn't really morally right. Plus, Naruto was fond of him, even if she was far too innocent to really get what was going on. And, even if he explained it to her, she probably wouldn't believe him.

He sighed. Really? At least they wouldn't be sleeping in the same room. Thank Kami for little things.

And then Naruto said, "I only have one spare room, though, with a double bed, so one of you will probably have to share with me."

He really shouldn't have tempted fate.

Keita's hand shot into the air. "I wouldn't mind sharing with you, Naru-chan."

This earned his a quick elbow in the ribs from his sister, who was glowering at him. "I'll share a room with you, Naruto. It makes sense that the girl's would share a room, right?" she asked with a sweet smile and as if she hadn't just hit her brother the second before.

Well, at least they won't be sharing a bed…

"Okay. We'll have to share a bed, though. It's pretty big, so it should be fine," Naruto said in a cheerful voice, as if looking forward to a sleep over.

Shikamaru just stared in horror. Why was Kami doing this to him? No sooner than he thought of something to be grateful for, then the opposite happened. What the hell?

Naruto looked at him curiously. "Shika, are you okay?"

And then he realized that he'd been grinding his teeth. He forced a smile. "Yeah, fine. Although don't you have a cot or something that you could set up for Hikari?"

She shrugged. "I don't mind sharing a bed."

Of course she didn't.

Naruto turned to Keita, Hikari, who seemed way too happy, and Shota, who was still smirking, and said, "I'll show you guys your rooms and you can explore the house while I go get my checkup, okay?"

And then Shikamaru was left along with Sakura.

She sidled up alongside him and elbowed his in the ribs slightly as if to say, "You sly dog."

"Good going, Shikamaru. I didn't think you'd actually manage to do anything." It was so nice that she believed in him. "I thought I was going to have to intervene," she said, sounding almost disappointed, and then continued. "So, are you and Naruto boyfriend and girlfriend now?"

He hesitated. He wasn't quite sure what the heck they were. But probably? Maybe? Naruto didn't really seem like the type of person to date more than one person at once. They had kissed, several times, and she had admitted to liking him…

"Because I'm pretty sure Neji is going to make a move. I mean, he liked her when he thought she was a he, or maybe she was a he at that point? I don't know. But I do know that he'll like her even more now that his family will probably approve of the match. I don't think Sasuke-kun likes her like that. Kiba's taken by Hinata, although I'm not sure if Hinata still likes Naruto or not. That kiss was pretty intense. I'm pretty sure Shino likes Naruto, but I'm not sure he'd make a move. He's pretty shy. And then there are tons of other ninja and civilians in the village who are probably going to be drooling after her…"

Shikamaru rubbed his temples, feeling a definite headache coming on. Seriously? Troublesome. He wasn't sure the situation could get more – He hurriedly cut off that thought before something happened. Great. Now he was starting to get paranoid of what he was even thinking.

Sakura clapped him on the back. "Congratulations. You've just entered something like a relationship with the Konoha's number one unpredictable ninja. Life's only going to get more interesting."

She was torturing him on purpose. There was no other excuse for what she was saying.

He sighed. "It's worth it." And he meant it.

Sakura's jade green eyes widened in surprise. "Oh. You've really fallen for her, haven't you?"

He merely glared at her lethargically. He really wanted the conversation to be over.

She pinched his cheek. "That's so sweet! Your kids are going to be so cute. Super hyper genii with Naruto's blue eyes and-"

"Sakura, I am going to stab you repeatedly if you don't stop talking."

Her mouth snapped shut.

Ah, silence. He hadn't even considered doing that with Naruto, although…

Naruto came back into the room, interrupting his highly improper and hormone fueled thoughts. "Okay. Let's go see Baa-chan and get this over with," Naruto said, heading towards the door.

Sakura and Shikamaru followed.

He had the feeling that something weird and quite possibly mind-warping was going to happen. And this feeling seemed to occur more and more often in Naruto's company. He remembered the feel of Naruto's lips against his and smiled slightly. Troublesome, but worth it.

* * *

Anyone remember when I said that I would never discontinue this story until I finished the plot line? Well, I meant it. I will continue writing unless I can't get to the internet or die! And if I die, then I'll just come back as a zombie and keep writing... although it may be hard if my fingers fall off while I'm writing... Although I suppose I could always just use speech software... Can you all tell that my brain has become more melted and twisted since I've been gone? Anyway, I'm not dead, unless being brain-dead counts, and I have another chapter written. I haven't been writing because I've been studying (make that freaking out) about college, but I passed both of the placement tests, so it's all good. And then I got abducted by my parents... again. And, yes, these are excused, which are bad things. I will not blame you all if you decide to throw kunai at me. Just try not to hit my vitals, okay? And, I just want to say that I'm so sorry for taking this long. I really am.

Ja ne,

_Rumer Hasit_

* * *

**Clow Angel:** As you can see, Sakura's threat of interfering with Shikamaru's love life, or lack of one, actually resulted him in telling Naruto. Finally, he got some action. Only... I highly doubt everything's going to go smoothly.

**Zlatka:** I think... Yes, I have the highly disturbing idea that Shino's bugs will report about Naruto's breasts. Weird. I'm trying not to think about it too much.

**DOOOOOOM Lord of Waffles:** Yep. And I still think you have an awesome name. Shikamaru does indeed have lots of competition for Naruto. I think Neji's going to be a problem. And, in answer to your question, I don't think Anko's going to be trying to get with Naruto, although...

**mugu:** Umm... Just thank you. Thank you for liking my story so much and thinking those things about it.

**ZAFO:** I'm glad you like the humor. I seem to have at least a little bit of talent for it. As for Shota, I'm not sure what the heck is going to happen there. Nothing good for Shikamaru, though.

**MegamiTenshiHime:** Thank you, thank you, and thank you very much. I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well.

**Nero Strauss:** Don't worry about being insane? Well, that takes a load off my mind. You may be right about the best people in the world being bonkers. It has the ring of truth to it. As for the whole Kyuubi thing, you're right. I need to include her in the story more.

**harlequin320:** Hilarious? Wonderful. Thank you so much. I am really sorry that I haven't updated in so long. I do hope that you're still reading this.

**animeboylover:** I did mistreat Kakashi a little in the last chapter, didn't I? Well, I'll make it up to him with some perverseness at a later date. And I'm sorry, really sorry, that I didn't update sooner.

**librarycat9:** Come on, bugs aren't that bad... Okay, I don't like them, either. I much prefer snakes.

**HPNU92:** I'm not really sure if I've been asked about Jiraiya, but to answer your question, no, he doesn't really know and he is going to appear in the story shortly.

**meglepetes:** I made your day with my last chapter? That makes me happy to know. And I really enjoyed reading your review.

**xbamsod:** Naruto's first training session with Anko was actually pretty tame, besides the whole unconscious Udon thing. The next training lesson is going to be weird. And potentially dangerous to all males involved.

**Anie6142:** I think Anko freaks everyone out just a little bit. And now Hikari is going to share a bed with her! Shikamaru's in trouble...

**Nerd4ever243:** I think my ego just swelled to 2x its usual size from your review. And, if you really want to see Pervy Sage's reaction, just wait a chapter or two. The great pervert... is coming.

**Jaycee:** I guess I am sort of new to fanfictions... Huh. I didn't really think of that. But thank you for the compliments and I will keep writing.

**JER:** Yeah... Here's another update. Better late than never, right?

**AdamEbe**: You're certainly welcome! I'm glad that the last chapter made your day. And it would be Sir, not Madam. I mean, I know I'm pretty short, but...

**Rockheart:** The best ShikaxNaru you've ever read? There is no way I can discontinue this story when someone says that. Thank you.

**Darkmaster of the Arts:** Yep. Shikamaru is sort of a genius... except when it comes to girls. Or Naruto, apparently. But he finally made some progress. Go, Shikamaru!

**NatalieNamikaze2006:** Yep. Sasuke and Shikamaru are teaming up. Who would have seen that coming? And, per your wishes, Shikamaru finally made a move, although I know things are not going to be easy for him.

**CloudedCreation:** Do you still feel sorry for Shikamaru? He made a move and made some progress... but now Hikari and Shota are living with Naruto. Poor guy.

**Beloved Daughter:** Well, he finally made an opportunity to tell Naruto how he feels. But I don't think she really realizes all of the guys after her...

**Aquilon:** Thank you so much for the 400th review! Yes! And I'm happy that you liked the last chapter, too. I can only hope that you're still reading this story.

**Blackrosebunny:** An amazing fanfic? Wow. You really do like this story. Now I feel even worse about not writing it for so long... But I am happy that you noticed all of those details about my story. Thanks.

**Mystia Katsuragi:** Finally. A new chapter. What do you think?

**KitsuneNaru:** Ah, glad you think so. Thanks for reading and reviewing my story.

**LadyKarma18:** Naruto really is cute when she's confused, isn't she? Although, she wasn't as confused as we all though she was, apparently. Thank you for reviewing on my story, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter, too.

**SinousFun-Keeper of Innocence:** I just didn't want Sasuke and Naruto to have a romantic thing between them. There are too many fanfictions like that already. Nice to know you approve of it. And you have an interesting name, by the way.

**Lady Kaiki:** Thank you, and sorry for not uploading, or writing, a chapter sooner.

**wolf girl811:** I know, I like Shino, too. And the marriage proposal you wrote about will come back into play. The Kyuubi is indeed laughing at all of the stuff happening to Naruto, and I think Pervy Sage is going to appear soon.

**EternalFire-IceDragon:** Wow. Thank you. You love it? And you're grateful to me for creating it? I'm not sure I've actually read that in a review before. Your review made me grin like an idiot and I couldn't stop smiling for a while. So thank you, sincerely.

**KamilahKaliope:** Huh. I don't think Kyuubi taught Naruto how to seduce. Honestly, I didn't really think of that. But now Anko is going to. Be afraid, be very afraid. And... Yes, I'm glad you think the chapter is cute. I keep trying to write action stories, but they always turn cute. I need to just get used to it.

**The Watcher4:** Good thing, rooting for Shikamaru. And he actually made some progress! Only to learn that the siblings would be living with Naruto... He just can't get a break, can he?

**First Lady Lestat:** Sorry...

**Candiiee:** Well, you said that you wanted to see where Naruto and Shikamaru's relationship went. What do you think?

**LOVE LOVE LOVE3:** I promise I won't abandon this story, okay? It may be intermittent, but I won't leave it unfinished.

**Grimm:** Well, your wishes came true. They got together, sort of, and the only person that she's kissed is Hinata... and Hinata kind of kissed her first.

**College6Jazz:** I'm glad you love my story. It makes me happy to hear that. Do you feel a little better for Shikamaru, though? He finally got to kiss Naruto. Several times. I think he's beyond smitten at this point.

**Guest:** Sorry, I would send you a message, but your email didn't come through.

**latindragon:** Love? Well, thank you very, very much. I appreciate it.

**Jess the Weird:** The best you've read so far? Every time I hear that, which isn't nearly enough, I get this huge grin on my face. I just love writing and making people laugh and I'm glad I could do that with this story.

**lunarmidnightwolf:** I hope that you enjoy reading this chapter.


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